Umxholo
- Ayilotyala lexesha, yimikhwa yakho leyo
- Wena okanye iqabane lakho aninakukushukumisa okudlulileyo
- Ukungabikho kobuhlobo okanye ukuzithemba?
Kuphantse kube kukucacisa ukuba njengokuba umtshato wakho ungena kwiminyaka emininzi, uya kuva ukuswela ulwalamano phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho. Yonke into ehlekisayo yothando kunye nokuma komhlekisi wenze inqaku lokuxhaphaza le nyaniso ngokubanzi ngokuhleka okumbalwa. Ngamaxesha okuza ukuqhelana, kunye nokuqhelana, ukusondelelana kungasokola.
Kulula njengokuba kunokuba lula ukuyibeka kumgama wobudlelwane bakho, zininzi ezinye izinto eziguqukayo xa zidlalayo. Zininzi izinto ezinokubangela ukuba isixa esinciphileyo sokomelela ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo, kwaye kufanelekile ukuba ixesha lokuphonononga nganye nganye. Funda njengoko singena kungena kwinto enokubangela umgama phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho.
Ayilotyala lexesha, yimikhwa yakho leyo
Masikhuphe le ndlela, kuba inokuba sesona sizathu sokwehla kobudlelwane kulwalamano lwakho.
Ukunyaniseka, ayilotyala lexesha. Ingakumbi malunga nokuqhelana kunye nethemba olifumene ngaphezulu kwelo xesha lexesha elinika igalelo kunqunyanyiso lwakho. Cinga ngayo nantoni na oyenzayo uyiphindaphinda yonke imihla.
Xa uhlamba amazinyo, awucingi ngendlela oyenza ngayo okanye ngee-engile ekufuneka uzisebenzisile; wenza le nto uyenzileyo izolo ungayicingi.
Xa uhlamba, ngekhe uyazi ukuba zeziphi iodolo ozenzayo okanye uluhlu lwezinto zengqondo osebenza kuzo njengokuba uzihlamba. Yonke into oyenzayo iphinda iphindaphinde into oyisebenzisileyo iminyaka.
Iipateni oqhele ukuzisebenzisa ukuhlamba kunye nokuxubha zigqityiwe ixesha elide. Ngokukhanya okufanayo, iipateni zakho zokuziphatha ngokusondeleyo kunye neqabane lakho mhlawumbi ziye zahlala zodwa. Nincamisana ekuseni, niyamanga ubusuku obulungileyo, emva koko ugcine isondo ngomhla wokuzalwa okanye isikhumbuzo.
Ukushukumisa i-monotony, wena neqabane lakho kufuneka nenze iinzame ezihlanganisiweyo zokuba nazi ngakumbi ngendlela enisebenza ngayo ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo. Ukuba unokuba nokuzimisela ngakumbi malunga nokuba uziphatha njani kwaye uziphatha kangaphi, uya kuba nolawulo ngakumbi kwisiphumo senkqubo.
Vuka kwimikhwa yakho kwaye uya kuba nakho ukuyitshintsha ukukunceda wena kunye neqabane lakho niziva nisondele ngakumbi kunangaphambili.
Wena okanye iqabane lakho aninakukushukumisa okudlulileyo
Nangona ukusondelelana kubonakala ngathi sisihloko esichaphazela wena neqabane lakho kuphela, kunokubakho okungaphezulu koko.
Nokuba wena okanye iqabane lakho ninokuba neemvakalelo ezendeleyo malunga nolwalamano ngenxa yobudlelwane obudlulileyo. Umfazi wakho usenokuba waxhatshazwa ngokwesondo liqabane lakhe langaphambili, ke akakhululekanga ukuba kufutshane nawe rhoqo kube kanye okanye kabini ngeveki. Umyeni wakho usenokuba waqhathwa, ke oonogada bakhe ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo banengxaki yokuza kuwe kulwalamano lwakho lwangoku.
Nokuba liliphi ibali elidlulileyo, kubalulekile ukuba ingabi yindlovu egumbini. Ukuba ayichazwanga ixesha elide, ukungabikho kolwalamano, ngenxa yayo, kunokubangela ukungavisisani. Ukuba ibhekiswa ngqo-ngenkxaso yomcebisi okanye ingcali-ungayibona ingxaki yokusondelelana kwesona sizathu sayo; ukwenzakala okudlulileyo okwehlela umntu.
Ukungabikho kobuhlobo okanye ukuzithemba?
Ukuba wena okanye iqabane lakho niyathandabuza ukwenza into esondeleyo, kunokuba ngenxa yokuzithemba okuphantsi.
Nangona niyathandana kwaye niziva nikhuselekile omnye komnye, kusenokwenzeka ukuba iingcinga zokuba “andilunganga ngokwaneleyo” zisenkulu. Iqabane lakho linokujonga kuwe kwaye licinge ukuba umzimba wabo wenyama ulihlazo ngokuthelekisa. Endaweni yokujonga umzuzu osenyongweni njengethuba lokudibanisa, banokuthi banamathele entlokweni yabo, becinga ngendlela abanentloni ngayo ukuze ubabone behamba ze ngalo lonke ixesha ukhwela ebhedini.
Ukuchasana nayo kunokuba yinyani. Ukuzithemba kwakho kunokuba yeyona nto itsala ulwahlulo kubudlelwane bakho obusondeleyo. Unokufuna ukuba usondele ngakumbi kwiqabane lakho, kodwa ngokungazi uziva ungabalulekanga kwaye unganqweneleki ngokuthelekisa. Unokuba ukhwaza, "Yenza uthando kum!" ngaphandle, kodwa emazantsi, ukungazithembi kwakho kuyakhwaza, "Ukuba akathandani nam, ngoko akathandeki kum, akandithandi, kwaye mhlawumbi ulele omnye umfazi!"
Kuzo zombini iimeko, ukungabikho kokuzithemba kuya kugcina uqhuba umda phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho. Eyona nto intle onokuyenza kukuyiqonda njengeyona nto inokubangela kwaye nikhumbuzane ukuba akukho sizathu sokuziva ungakhuselekanga xa ukhoyo omnye komnye. Ukuhlala ususa ezo ngcinga zingakhuselekanga kuya kukuvumela kunye neqabane lakho ukuba nisondele kunokuba ucinga.
Isiphelo
Ayinamsebenzi ukuba yintoni unobangela wokungabikho kobuhlobo obusondeleyo; into ebalulekileyo kukuba uchonge ukuze kungakhokeleli kwenye iyantlukwano phakathi kwakho nobabini.
Musa ukugweba ukungazithembi okuzayo.
Musa ukucaphuka ngexesha elidlulileyo.
Musa ukucinga ukuba awukwazi ukufundisa inja endala amaqhinga amatsha.
Ukuba injongo kukusondela kumyeni okanye umfazi wakho ngaphakathi nangaphandle kwebhedi, yenza nantoni na onokuyenza ukuze ujikeleze oonobangela bokusondelelana okuphantsi okudweliswe apha ngasentla.
Umtshato wakho kufanelekile ukuba uwulwele, kwaye ngaphandle konxibelelwano olusondeleyo ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasemzimbeni, kuya kuba nzima kakhulu ukugcina loo mlilo uyithandayo uvutha uqaqambile.