Umxholo
- Ngaba uqhawulo-mtshato luya kunciphisa inani lempixano phakathi kweqabane lam kunye nam?
- Ndazi njani ukuba uqhawulo mtshato lukhetho olufanelekileyo?
- Athini amathuba am okutshata?
- Ngaba ubomi bungcono emva koqhawulo-mtshato?
Awukho umtshato ogqibeleleyo. Kuba wonke umntu wahlukile, akukho ngqiqweni ukulindela ukuba abantu ababini abangena kumtshato womtshato abasoze baphikisane okanye baphikisane.
Nokuba abo babethandana ngokunzulu kwaye babenolwalamano olukhulu xa batshata banokufumana iingxaki ezantsi kwendlela. Ukuba umtshato wakho uqalile ukujongana nengxaki, usenokuzibuza ukuba nini na impendulo eyiyo.
Nokuba imicimbi phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho yenzekile ngenxa yobunzima bezezimali, iyantlukwano yezimvo malunga nokukhulisa abantwana bakho, ukungathembeki, okanye ukwahlukana phakathi, uya kufuna ukuphonononga ukhetho lwakho ngononophelo ukumisela ukuba uya konwaba emva koqhawulo-mtshato okanye akunjalo .
Ungonwabi emtshatweni wakho, kodwa ungonwaba ngokwenene emva koqhawulo-mtshato, okanye kungangcono ukuba wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukulungisa ubudlelwane bakho kwaye uphephe ukuqala ngokutsha?
Kwimeko apho, njani isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato? Wazi njani ukuba uqhawulo mtshato luchanekile?
Yonke imeko yahlukile, ke akukho mpendulo ilungileyo malunga nokuba kufuneka uqhawule umtshato okanye hayi.
Nangona kunjalo, ngokujonga iingxaki ojamelene nazo, ukuqonda ukhetho olufumanekayo, kunye nokulinganisa izibonelelo kunye nokusilela kokuhlala utshatile okanye uqhawule umtshato, ungathatha esona sigqibo silungileyo wena kunye nosapho lwakho.
Ngelixa uthatha isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato, kunokuba luncedo ukufuna igalelo kwabanye, kubandakanya nabahlobo okanye amalungu osapho olubahloniphayo uluvo lwabo, iingcali zonyango okanye abacebisi ngezibini.
Ngaba uqhawulo-mtshato luya kunciphisa inani lempixano phakathi kweqabane lam kunye nam?
Ukuba uneengxaki zomtshato, enye yezona zinto uzixhalabeleyo zinokuba kwinqanaba lokungavisisani kunye noxinzelelo kwindlu yakho. Ukuphila kolu hlobo lweemeko kunokuba luxinzelelo olukhulu.
Ukuba unabantwana, unokuba nexhala lokuba ukubhencwa kwimpikiswano okanye ungquzulwano kunokuba yingozi kuphuhliso lwabo nakwimpilo-ntle yabo. Uqhawulo-mtshato lunokubonakala luyindlela yokuphelisa le mpixano kwaye livumele wena nosapho lwakho ukuba nihlale kwindawo enoxolo.
Ngelixa ukuphelisa umtshato wakho kunokubonakala ngathi yindlela eya kubomi bekhaya obungenazinkathazo, kuya kufuneka wazi ukuba izinto ziya zisiba mandundu ngaphambi kokuba zibengcono.
Ukuba sele uhlangabezana nengxabano emtshatweni wakho, ukwazisa iqabane lakho ukuba ufuna ukuqhawula umtshato kungatyhala izinto ziye kwindawo ebilayo okanye ngaphaya, njengoko uqhubeka nokwahlula ubomi bakho omnye komnye.
Nokuba wena neqabane lakho nobabini niyavuma ukuba nifuna uqhawulo-mtshato, ninokudibana neengxabano njengoko nisombulula imiba yezomthetho, eyezemali neyokusebenza ngokwahlukana kwenu.
Iimpikiswano malunga nendlela yokwahlulahlula impahla yakho, yokusingatha imicimbi yezemali, okanye yokugcina ilungelo lokugcina abantwana bakho kunokuba nzima ukuyisombulula, kwaye la madabi asemthethweni anokuba noxinzelelo ngakumbi kuneempikiswano okanye ukungavisisani enaninako ngexesha lomtshato wenu.
Ngethamsanqa, ngokusebenza negqwetha loqhawulo-mtshato, unokumisela ezona ndlela zilungileyo zokusombulula le micimbi. Nje ukuba inkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato iphele, ungaqhubekeka kwinto enokuba nethemba lokuba bubomi bekhaya obunoxolo kwaye bungabinangxabano.
Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ukugqitywa koqhawulo-mtshato wakho akuyi kuthetha ukuphela kwembambano neqabane lakho. Kule meko, ulonwabo emva koqhawulo mtshato ngokuqinisekileyo aluqinisekiswanga.
Ngelixa ezinye izibini zinakho ukwenza "ikhefu elicocekileyo" kwaye zihlale ngaphandle kubomi bomnye nomnye ukuya phambili, amaqabane amaninzi aqhawule umtshato aqhubeka nokubophelela kunye ngemali ngokuhlawula inkxaso yomlingane, okanye abazali banokufuna ukugcina ubudlelwane obuqhubekayo kuba babelane ngokugcina abantwana babo.
Ukuba wena neqabane lakho nihlala nihleli kubomi bomnye nomnye emva koqhawulo-mtshato, ungaqhubeka nokudibana neengxabano. Ukuba unabantwana kunye, kunokuvela ukungavisisani okutsha malunga nendlela abantwana bakho abaza kukhuliswa ngayo, okanye iimpikiswano ezindala zisenokuphinda zivele njengoko ninxibelelana.
Kunokuba lula ukubuyela kwiipateni ezindala kwaye uphinde ubuye kwiimpikiswano ezindala. Okwangoku, ngokumisela imida ecacileyo kwaye ujonge ezona zinto zilungileyo zabantwana bakho, unokusebenzela ukunciphisa ukungavisisani, ugcine ubudlelwane obuqinisekileyo, kwaye uhlale wonwabile emva koqhawulo-mtshato.
Ndazi njani ukuba uqhawulo mtshato lukhetho olufanelekileyo?
Ukuphelisa umtshato wakho linyathelo elibukhali, kwaye uninzi lwenu unokuzibuza, ingaba ndingonwaba ngakumbi mtshato wam.
Ngelixa zikhona iimeko ezithile, ezinjengezo zibandakanya ukungathembeki okanye ukuxhatshazwa, apho umntu anokuqiniseka ukuba baya konwaba emva koqhawulo-mtshato, kwiimeko ezininzi, abatshatileyo abaqinisekanga malunga nokuba bafuna ukuwushiya ngasemva umtshato wabo.
Njengoko ucinga ngokuqhubeka nomtshato wakho, unokufuna ukujonga imeko yakho kwaye ujonge ukuba ukuphelisa umtshato wakho kuya kukubeka kwindawo engcono na. Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukugcina ubudlelwane bakho?
Unokufuna ukuxoxa malunga nokucebisana ngomtshato kunye neqabane lakho ukuze nibone ukuba ingaba ninokusebenzisana na ukoyisa iiyantlukwano zakho kwaye uqiniseke ukuba ninokonwaba nobabini.
Unokufuna nokujonga ezinye iindlela onokonyusa ukonwaba kwakho kunye nolwaneliseko ebomini bakho, ezinje ngokwenza izinto ozithandayo okanye izinto onomdla kuzo ngokwakho okanye neqabane lakho okanye ukuchitha ixesha nabahlobo okanye amalungu osapho awandisiweyo.
Ngokufumana iindlela zokujongana nokoyisa imiba ekusenokwenzeka ukuba ibuthwaxa ebomini bakho, unokufumanisa ukuba ungahlala wonwabile emtshatweni kwaye uphephe ukungaqiniseki kunye nobunzima obuza noqhawulo-mtshato.
Jonga kwakhona:
Kodwa, ukuba uziva ngathi awuzukukwazi ukusombulula iingxaki zakho zomtshato, uqhawulo-mtshato lunokukunika indlela eya ebomini obungcono.
Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uhlale kumtshato ongonelisiyo kumakhaya okanye ungonwabanga kwaye ugcwele imeko yekhaya kungekho thuba lokuphucuka. Nangona inkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato inokuba noxinzelelo, inokukuvumela ukuba uphume kwimeko embi kwaye wonwabe emva koqhawulo-mtshato.
Athini amathuba am okutshata?
Kwiimeko ezininzi, abantu bakhetha ukuhlala emtshatweni ongasebenziyo ngenxa yokoyika ukuba bodwa.
Ngokuqinisekileyo uye wangena emtshatweni wakho, ulindele ukuba uhlale ixesha elide ubomi bakho bonke, kwaye xa sele usungule ubudlelwane bexesha elide, ukushiya ngasemva kunye nokuqala kwakhona kunokuba yinto eyoyikisayo.
Unganexhala lokuba awusokuze uphinde ulufumane uthando, kodwa ngethamsanqa, oku akufuneki kube njalo, kwaye njengoko isitsho intetho, "Zininzi iintlanzi elwandle."
Uphononongo lubonisa ukuba malunga nesiqingatha sabantu abaqhawule umtshato baya kuphinda baphinde batshate kwisithuba seminyaka emihlanu, kwaye malunga neepesenti ezingama-75 zabantu baphinde batshate kwisithuba seminyaka elishumi. Ezi nkcukacha manani zibonisa ukuba, enyanisweni, unokonwaba emva koqhawulo-mtshato.
Kwezinye iimeko, ukuqala ulwalamano olutsha kunokubonakala kunzima, ngakumbi kwabo banabantwana. Okwangoku, abanye abantu abaninzi bakwimeko ezifanayo, kwaye ukufumana umntu olungileyo kuhlala kungumba wokuzingisa.
Izifundo ozifundileyo ngexesha lomtshato wakho zinokukunceda wakhe ubudlelwane obunempumelelo, uhambe kwiimpazamo zakho zangaphambili, kwaye ngandlela zonke uhlale wonwabile emva koqhawulo-mtshato!
Ngaba ubomi bungcono emva koqhawulo-mtshato?
Isigqibo sokuqhawula umtshato asisosiqinisekiso solonwabo. Okwangoku, isenokuba linyathelo elifanelekileyo lokuya phambili usuka emtshatweni ongasebenziyo kunye nokuseka ubomi obulunge ngakumbi wena nosapho lwakho.
Nangona kunjalo, kuya kufuneka uyazi ukuba uqhawulo-mtshato luza nemiceli mngeni emininzi, kwaye kungathatha ixesha ukuya kwinqanaba lokuba wonwabe ngokwenene emva koqhawulo-mtshato.
Ngexesha loqhawulo-mtshato, kuya kufuneka ujongane nemiba eyahlukeneyo. Kuya kufuneka ukuba umisele amalungiselelo okuphila amatsha, wenze iishedyuli zexesha oza kulichitha nabantwana bakho, kwaye wenze uhlahlo-lwabiwo mali olutsha oluya kukuvumela ukuba uphile kamnandi kwingeniso enye.
Ngokusebenza negqwetha loqhawulo-mtshato, unokuqiniseka ukuba uyiphatha ngokuchanekileyo inkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato, kwaye ungathatha amanyathelo okuqala kwisigaba esilandelayo sobomi bakho ngeenyawo zasekunene.
Gcina ukhumbula ukuba ngaphandle kokuba ngumba ofana nokuxhatshazwa kakhulu apho kungekho ndlela yimbi ngaphandle kokukhetha uqhawulo-mtshato, zama ukucebisa ngomtshato okanye uye kwikhondo lokucebisa ngomtshato. Abacebisi ngomtshato okanye loo nto oochwephesha bezengqondo banokumba nzulu kwisiseko seengxaki okanye bakuncede ujongane nemicimbi yemihla ngemihla echaphazela ubudlelwane. Ngale ndlela unokuqiniseka ukuba nobabini okanye omnye wenu uzame konke ngaphambi kokuba uphume.