Umxholo
- Yintoni ukucebisa ngobudlelwane
- Unyango lwezibini ngokuchasene nokucebisa ngomtshato
- Usebenza kakuhle kangakanani umtshato woluleko
- 1. Umntu othile akanamdla kwiingcebiso
- 2. Umntu akafuni umtshato usebenze
- 3. Umntu uneentshukumisa ezimbi
- 4. Umcebisi ngemitshato onekhethe
Kukho iimeko apho ulwalamano oluqhubekayo phakathi kwamaqabane kukhokelela ekubangeleni ukungavisisani phakathi kwamaqabane, ekugqibeleni kukhokelela kuqhawulo mtshato. Kodwa ezinye izibini zijonga ukuqhawula umtshato ayisiyiyo inketho kwaye zizama ezinye iindlela zokujongana nemicimbi yazo yobudlelwane.
Iingcebiso malunga nolwalamano, umzekelo, yenye yeefayile ze- ezona ndlela zokunceda izibini ezitshatileyo fumana kufutshane-ukugqibelela izisombululo ekusingatheni iingxaki zabo. Kwaye, ukuba ucela iimpendulo kubahlobo bakho nakwiintsapho, enye yezinto abanokucebisa ngayo kukufuna iinkonzo zokucebisa ngomtshato.
Ngaphandle kokwazi okanye ngenye indlela, kwezinye iimeko, abantu banokholo kuyo ulwazi lobungcali lwe i iingcali zonyango.
Kodwa, ukuqonda yonke Injongo yokufumana iingcebiso kwizibini ezitshatileyo kuthanda kuphela khokela wena ngokubuza imibuzo eyiyo kunye nokukhupha isisombululo esifanelekileyo esifanelwe yingxaki yakho. Emveni kwakho konke, lonke ulwalamano luhlukile, kunjalo neengxaki zabo kunye nezisombululo zabo.
Yintoni ukucebisa ngobudlelwane
Iingcebiso malunga nolwalamano luhlobo lwe thetha ngonyango. Apha omabini amaqabane afumana ithuba hlola i imicimbi eyahlukeneyo eyahlukeneyo yabo ubudlelwane kwaye qonda i Iindidi zonxibelelwano lomntu ngamnye.
Ngeeseshoni zokuthetha zabucala nezikhuselekileyo, abacebisi bobudlelwane baya kukhokela amaqabane kwiingxaki zabo ngokuthe ngcembe.
Ukuthetha eyakho iingxaki Unceda kwi ukuqonda okungcono kwe i imiba kwaye fumanisa enye into iindlela zokujongana kubo.
Ngexesha lokuxabana, izibini ezilwa zihlala zisebenzisa uninzi Amagama angafanelekanga, kodwa baphuma kubushushu bomzuzwana. Ukukhethwa kwamagama asetyenziswe kwincoko okanye ngexesha leempikiswano kunokusombulula okanye mandundu i imeko embi.
Ukucinga ngemeko efanayo kamva kuya kukwenza uqonde indlela obukhe waziphatha ngayo kungekudala. Kananjalo, ubungayiphathi ngendlela engafanelekanga le meko.
Kwiiseshoni zokucebisa ubudlelwane, ugqirha uya kuthi ncede wena ukuya jonga imibaukusuka a imbono eyahlukileyo kwaye ndikukhokele ekusingatheni iimeko ezinjalo ngendlela engcono.
Unyango lwezibini ngokuchasene nokucebisa ngomtshato
Ngaphambi kokungena nzulu kwizibonelelo kunye ukusebenza kweengcebiso ngolwalamano, kubalulekile ukuqonda umahluko phakathi kokunyanga kwabatshatileyo kunye neengcebiso ngemitshato. Abantu bahlala bedibanisa la magama mabini. Kodwa, mandikuqinisekise ukuba kukho umgca omncinci wokwahluka okhoyo phakathi kwabo.
Ke ukuqala ngokucebisa ngobuhlobo okanye ngokucebisa ngomtshato-
Ukucebisa ngomtshato ijolise ngakumbi kuthotho lweziganeko kwaye ayizukuvela kwimbali yezibini. Uncedo okanye izisombululo zibonelelwa imingeni eqhubekayo. Kufana nokujongana neziphumo ebezingalindelekanga zesifo esibizwa ngokuba yiCancer kodwa ungasihoyi isifo sokuqala ngokwaso.
Unyango lwesibini, kwelinye icala, iya kujongana ngqo ne oyena nobangela wengxabano. Abacebisi abatshatileyo baziva ngathi zonke iingxaki ekusetyenzwe ngazo okwangoku zinembali ebenegalelo ekudaleni iipateni ezingenampilo kubudlelwane.
Zombini ziinkqubo eziqhubekayo, ngokuxhomekeke kwizibini ezinengxaki ngokwazo. Kwaye, bobabini babelana ngeenjongo ezifanayo, okt, ukunceda izibini zilwe kwaye Yoyisa imvakalelo kwaye imiqobo yengqondo emtshatweni wabo.
Ukuqhubela phambili, masijongane nombuzo olandelayo obalulekileyo emgceni wengxoxo- Ngaba uyasebenza umcebisi ngomtshato? Okanye ngaba unyango lwezibini luyasebenza?
Usebenza kakuhle kangakanani umtshato woluleko
Eyona njongo iphambili yokunxibelelana ngobudlelwane kukunceda umtshato wakho. Inqanaba lempumelelo lokucebisa ngomtshato liyathembisa.
Umzekelo -
Ngokwe-American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, ama-93% ezigulana ekwenziwe uphando kuzo, avumile ukuba alufumene uncedo olufanelekileyo alufunayo. Kananjalo i-98% yabo baphononongiweyo banelisekile ngamava okufumana iingcebiso.
Kodwa ukuqinisekisa ukusebenza ye iingcebiso kubudlelwane Inzima. Kwakhona, kuxhomekeka ikakhulu kwiimpendulo ezinikezwe zizibini ezithatha ezo seshoni. Kwaye, njengoluphi ulwalamano kunye nengcali yomtshato, uGqirha Gottman uthi, ixesha yinto yonke yokuthatha isigqibo sokuba ungavumi Iingcebiso zomtshato ziyasebenza.
Ezinye izibini khetha iingcebiso ngobuhlobo kuphela xa behlangabezana neengxaki ezinkulu zobudlelwane. Kodwa, ubukhulu becala, iingcebiso ziyaqhutywa xa bobabini okanye omabini amaqela ecinga ngokwahlukana okanye ukuqhawula umtshato.
Kwakhona, ezinye izibini ziyaziphepha iingxabano ngokupheleleyo ukuthintela ubukrakra ekungeneni kubudlelwane babo. Kodwa, uMichele Weiner Davis, umbhali weCandelo loQhawulo mtshato, uthi isenzo sika ukunqanda ukungqubana kubuyela umva kubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu. Aba bantu, ukuba bayarhuqelwa kwiiseshoni zokucebisa ubudlelwane, akunakulindeleka ukuba baphendule ngokuchanekileyo kwimibuzo yonyango.
Kungoko sinokuthi, ingcebiso ingaluncedo kwi ukulungisa ubudlelwane. Kodwa kukho iimeko apho isenzo somntu omnye okanye sobabini sichaphazele inkqubo yokucebisa kwaye senzakalise umtshato ngakumbi.
Ngaba ukululekwa ngomtshato kuyasebenza?
Njengoko bekutshiwo ngaphambili, i impumelelo yokucebisa ngomtshato Kuxhomekeka ikakhulu kuhlobo lweempendulo izibini ezinikezayo kwiseshoni nganye.
Masiqonde iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuphendula umntu anokuzibona ngexesha leseshoni yokucebisa izibini.
1. Umntu othile akanamdla kwiingcebiso
Iingcebiso malunga nolwalamano zisebenza kakuhle xa bobabini indoda nomfazi bevuma landela iingcebiso ukujongana nemiba emtshatweni. Ukuba umntu omnye akanamdla kule nkqubo, ke ukululekwa kwengqondo kunokuba nzima kunokuba kufanelekile.
Ngexesha lokunika iingcebiso, izibini kufuneka zichaze imiba yazo, zimamelane kwaye zenze umsebenzi wasekhaya ofunekayo lungisa umtshato. Ukuba umntu omnye akatyalwanga kwinkqubo, iziphumo eziyimfuneko aziyi kubonakala.
2. Umntu akafuni umtshato usebenze
Ngamanye amaxesha omnye okanye bobabini abantu abatshatileyo baye bagqiba ezingqondweni zabo ukuba umtshato uphelile. Nokuba kungokuxolisa elinye iqabane, amalungu osapho okanye izizathu zonqulo, iingcebiso ziyalandelwa.
Apho umntu anoluvo lokuba umtshato uphelile, akazukubona ukufaneleka kwengcebiso Kwaye ndiza kuhamba nje ngokuhamba.
Oku kunokulicaphukisa ngokulula elinye iqabane, umcebisi Kunye ne Inkqubo yokucebisa.
3. Umntu uneentshukumisa ezimbi
Inkqubo ye- Isizathu sokunikwa kwengcebiso kubudlelwane yeyokuba bobabini abantu bafune uncedo lomntu wesithathu kwaye basebenze kunye ukulungisa ubudlelwane.
Ingcebiso kukusebenzisana ngokubambisana kunye nenjongo yokunceda.
Nangona kunjalo, apho umntu eneenjongo ezingalunganga, ezinje ngokubonisa ukuba ulungile, ngethemba lokuxelela iqabane lakhe into abayifunayo, Ukucebisa kuya kuba nzima ukusebenza. Ngamanye amaxesha, iqabane lingasebenzisa ingcebiso njengendlela yokuxelela omnye ukuba yena okanye ufuna uqhawulo mtshato okanye ukuba yena okanye uthandana nomntuIthemba lelokuba elinye iqela liya kuthintelwa yimpendulo yabo ngelixa bekwiqela lesithathu.
Nokuba yeyiphi na intshukumisa engemva koku, oku kunokudala ingozi engakumbi. Kwaye, kukho izinto zangaphandle ezinje ngomcebisi wobudlelwane okhethiweyo.
4. Umcebisi ngemitshato onekhethe
Inkqubo ye- Umcebisi womtshato ofanelekileyo ungakhethi buso kwaye usebenza ngokungathathi cala ukunceda esi sibini ukuba sisombulule imicimbi yabo.
Nangona kunjalo, apho a Umcebisi womtshato unikezela, nokuba kuyabonakala okanye kungenjalo, isenzo okanye amagama aya kuvumela omnye wabatshati ukuba akholelwe ukuba umcebisi ukwelinye icala, inkqubo yokucebisa isengozini.
Oku kunokwenzeka kwiimeko apho iingcebiso zilawulwa ngumntu owaziyo isibini okanye umcebisi womtshato owakhethwa liqabane elinye ngaphandle kwegalelo lelinye iqabane.