Umxholo
Ii-empaths, okanye abo bathambekele ekubeni novakalelo, babacingele, babacingele kwaye banomoya ofudumeleyo, bahlala befunwa kwaye bade bahlakulwe ngumntu ohlukumeza ngokwasemoyeni / ngokwasengqondweni.
Nangona kunjalo, "ixhoba" lomxhaphazi lidlulela ngaphaya koxinzelelo kwaye phantse nabani na unokurhintyelwa kwimo etshabalalisayo. Ukuqonda umjikelo wokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo kunye namandla okuba ube "onyuliweyo" kumxhaphazi, kubalulekile ukuba uyiqonde imeko ukuxhomekeka kwikontraki.
Ukuxhomekeka kwimo yokuziphatha ngumkhwa wokuzixabisa ngokukholisa abanye okanye ngokuzama ukuba ngumntu ogqibeleleyo. Umzala wayo ongaziwayo, obizwa ngokuba kukuxhomekeka, lelinye icala lengqekembe yokuxhomekeka- ngumkhwa wokuzixabisa ngokulawula abanye nokulawula. Ukuxhomekeka ekuxhomekekeni kuyeyona nto iphambili ekuqhubekekeni komjikelo wokuxhatshazwa.
Kwenzeka ntoni kwikontraki yokuxhomekeka?
Ukuxhomekeka ekuxhomekekeni, lowo ulawulwayo uhambelana nepwn kwibhodi yechess yomxhaphazi.
Umhlukumezi akaboni abanye njengabantu, kodwa ujonga izinto-njengezitya eziqulathe “ubonelelo lobuchwephesha”, nendima yakhe kubomi bomxhaphazi kukuphazanyiswa malunga nebhodi yechess ngokungathi yipisi. Unikezelo lwe-narcissistic ligama elinikezwe ukuhoywa rhoqo komnqweno wokuxhaphaza.
Ngamafutshane, injongo yomntu oxhomekeke ekuphikiseni kukuzibandakanya kwabanye ukuze banconywe, banconywe, bafumane imvume, baqhwatyelwe izandla, kwaye baqwalaselwe ngokukodwa.
Ukuba ubanjiwe kolu tshintsho kwaye ungumthombo wonikezelo lwe-narcissistic yeqabane lakho, ixabiso lakho lijongwa kuphela kumandla akho okuphathwa ngobuqhetseba kwaye usetyenziselwe ukuzuza okanye ukuzonwabisa kweqabane lakho.
Gcina ukhumbula ukuba i-pawns ifana ne-chattel: ziyalahlwa ukuba "intengiselwano engcono iza," kodwa iya kulwelwa ukuba umxhaphazi uziva ukuba aphulukana nolawulo lomthombo oxabisekileyo wonikezelo lwe-narcissistic. Emva koko, iba ngumjikelo okhohlakeleyo, ongapheliyo wokuphathwa gadalala kweqabane elixhatshazwayo.
Ngokusisiseko, unexabiso eliphantsi ukuba unokutshintsha ngokulula, kodwa ixabiso eliphezulu ukuba akunjalo.
Ukuba uxabisiwe, okanye mhlawumbi ungokuphela komthombo wonikezelo lweqabane lokuhlukumeza emva koko indlela yokuziphatha kwabo exhomekeke kubo inokulawula kakhulu okanye yoyikise. Kwaye ukuba nabantwana kunye neqabane elihlukumezayo kunakho ukuvelisa umceli mngeni omkhulu kwaye nokuba kuyingozi ukuba kukho iinzame zokushiya ubudlelwane, kukhokelela ekuqhubekekeni okulusizi komjikelo wokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo.
Ukumka ekuziphatheni gadalala
Ukucebisa ezona ndlela zokuzikhusela okanye zendlela yokwaphula umjikelo yinkqubo entsonkothileyo kwaye akukho sisombululo silula, ngakumbi xa iqabane linotyekelo olunobundlongondlongo okanye olonakalisayo (njengomsindo, ukonakalisa ipropathi) okanye utyekelo lobundlobongela.
Incoko isebenzisa u "Mna" kunye no "thina", okanye ukumela amalungelo akho, inokuvelisa utshintsho lwexeshana / uphuculo kwindlela yokuziphatha komxhaphazi; Nangona kunjalo, imbali ibonakalisile ukuba kumaxa amaninzi indlela zakudala zokuziphatha zibuyela ngexesha kwaye zihlala zinokuqiniswa ukuba umxhaphazi woyikiswa lilungelo lokushiya kwakho.
Ii-Ultimatums nazo zinokubangela "iinguqu" ezimodareyithayo kwindlela yokuziphatha; Nangona kunjalo, nazo ezi zihlala ixesha elifutshane kwaye zihlala zibuyela kwinto endala zinokuba bubudlelwane obonakalisayo. Izisongelo zokushiya ezingaze zifezeke zinokuqinisa isidingo somxhaphazi sokulawula, kuguqulela ekwandeni kokuphindaphindeka, amandla, kunye nexesha lokudubula komxhaphazi.
Nangona kunjalo, kukho izicwangciso ezisebenzayo zokuphula umjikelo wokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo okanye ukushiya ubudlelwane bokuhlukumeza. Iingcebiso ezilandelayo zisekwe kwimbono yokuba ukululekwa kwezithandani okanye unyango lomntu ngamnye kunokubangela utshintsho olunqongopheleyo okanye ukuphucuka kwimo enamandla, kwaye ezoyikiso zokushiya, ukuzama ukuthomalalisa, ukunqanda ukusebenzisana okanye ukuphikisana nomhlukumezi kunokuba kukhokelele Ukuqhubeka nokuzama ukulawula kwaye kunokuba nzulu ukonakalisa ubudlelwane.
Isisombululo esigxile kumbuzo sihlala sivelisa iziphumo ezicacileyo ezivela kwiqabane elixhatshaziweyo ukuze kuphule umjikelo wokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo. Isisombululo ekugxilwe kuso yile: “Ukwazi into esiyaziyo namhlanje ukuba akukho nto itshintshayo, buza kuba phi obu budlelwane ngonyaka? Uyakube uphi kunyaka? ” Impendulo yalo mbuzo ikhokelela kukhetho ezimbini.
Eyokuqala kukuhlala uqhubeke nokuncitshiswa, wohlwaywe kwaye ulawulwe nasemva kweenzame ezininzi zokusetha ubudlelwane kwakhona; Okwesibini kukushiya ubudlelwane, ogqiba ukuphela komjikelo wokuxhatshazwa. Ngelishwa, akukho mhlaba uphakathi. Ushiyeke ngokwamkela ukuhlala kumjikelo wokuxhatshazwa okanye ukhetha ukuthatha amanyathelo ayimfuneko ukophula umjikelo wokuxhatshazwa ngokweemvakalelo.