Iingcebiso ezili-15 zokulinganisela umtshato kunye nokuba ngumzali

Umbhali: John Stephens
Umhla Wokudalwa: 27 Eyomqungu 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 1 Eyekhala 2024
Anonim
Iingcebiso ezili-15 zokulinganisela umtshato kunye nokuba ngumzali - I-Psychology
Iingcebiso ezili-15 zokulinganisela umtshato kunye nokuba ngumzali - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Bathi izichasi ziyatsala; xa kufikwa ekulinganiseni umtshato kunye nokuba ngumzali, inokuba yinto elungileyo leyo. Xa iqabane ngalinye lizisa izakhono ezahlukeneyo kunye neetalente etafileni, njengesibini, ninokufunda omnye komnye kwaye nibe namava atyebileyo kunye.

Umzekelo, umfazi ophuma ngakumbi unokunceda umyeni ongenazintloni ukuba aphume ngakumbi, kwaye indoda ehleleke ngakumbi inokunceda umfazi ongacwangciswanga ngakumbi ukuba afezekise izinto ezininzi. Kwaye uluhlu luyaqhubeka.

Kunye, indoda nomfazi banokuncedana ukukhula. Ngelixa le nto inokuba yinto entle emtshatweni, xa kufikwa kumba wokuba ngumzali, ngamanye amaxesha ukuchasana akuyona into elungileyo.

Mhlawumbi ungqwabalala, kwaye uthambile; uhambelana ngakumbi, ubhetyebhetye ngakumbi, okanye mhlawumbi abaqinisekanga ngokuba ngubani oza kuqala: iqabane okanye abantwana.


Xa usondeza abantu ababini abohlukeneyo, abanobuntwana obahlukeneyo kunye nemvelaphi kunye kwiindima zokuba ngumzali, kunokuba mdaka.

Ulawula njani ukuba ngumzali nomtshato? Uzisombulula njani iingxaki kwingqeqesho? Xa umntwana wakho efumana icatshulwa esikolweni, umzali ngamnye ufuna ukuyiphatha njani ekhaya?

Kuthiwani malunga nexesha elingakanani lokubavumela ukuba bachithe ezindlwini zabahlobo, okanye lingakanani ixesha lokubavumela basebenzise izixhobo zombane? Kuthekani ngemisebenzi yasekhaya, okanye imali okanye ukusebenzisa iimoto zakho? Ngokwenyani, zininzi izinto ekufuneka ziqwalaselwe.

Ukuba nomntwana kuwuchaphazela njani umtshato wakho?

Ukulinganisa umtshato kunye nokuba ngumzali ayisiyonto yabatyhafileyo. Ukubeka iqabane lakho kuqala emtshatweni kunye nokulawula ubudlelwane bakho emva kokuba abantwana kuthatha ixesha elininzi kunye nomonde.

Asinakukhulisa abantwana bethu ngendlela abazali bethu abasikhulise ngayo, kwaye loo nto yenza kube nzima nangakumbi ukulinganisa umtshato wakho kunye novuyo lokuba ngumzali, ngakumbi xa sichitha ixesha lethu elininzi nesiqingatha seliso zincinci.


Ngokwe-Institute for Divorce Financial Abahlalutyi, imiba engangqinelaniyo engundoqo kunye neyantlukwano malunga nokuba ngumzali kwizizathu ezininzi zokutshata. Kubalulekile ukuba ungayithathi kancinci.

Ungawulinganisa njani umtshato nokuba ngumzali ngelixa ufumana ixesha eloneleyo kuzo zombini? Kulungile! Kukho iindlela zokulinganisa umtshato kunye nokuba ngumzali. Masiziqonde, nganye nganye.

Umntu unokulinganisa ngokulula umtshato nokuba ngumzali kodwa kufuneka alandele imigaqo ethile ukufezekisa loo msebenzi ungenakwenzeka kangako njengepro.

Ke umtshato kunye nabantwana unokuhlala njani ngendlela evisisanayo? Uyenza njani ubudlelwane bokusebenza nabantwana? Kuyenzeka ukuba uzenze zombini kwaye uzenze kakuhle.

Ukulungelelanisa ukuba ngumzali nomtshato

Ukulinganisa umtshato kunye nokuba ngumzali kufuna ukuba uzimisele ukusebenzela umtshato wakho. Ukuhlala abathandi ngelixa ukhulisa abantwana kunokubonakala ngathi ngumsebenzi onzima ngezinto ezininzi ezenzekayo ngeenxa zonke kuwe kangangokuba ubonakala ngathi ushiya kancinci emtshatweni wakho omnandi.


Nangona kunjalo, ngendlela eyiyo, ukunyaniseka, kunye nokuthembela omnye komnye, ungawulawula ngokulula umtshato nokuba ngumzali ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngokuqhekeka komtshato wakho.

Umtshato emva kwabantwana ngamava amnandi aqhelekileyo kwizibini ezininzi. Kungenxa yokuba izibini zihlala zityeshela ubudlelwane bazo phakathi kwazo zonke izidubedube zomsebenzi, ikhaya, usapho, njalo njalo.

Ke, ungawugcina njani umlinganiso phakathi komtshato nokuba ngumzali? Ngaba sikhona isisombululo somtshato emva kwabantwana okanye ukusombulula iingxaki zomtshato emva kwabantwana?

Iingcebiso ezili-15 zokulinganisa umtshato nokuba ngumzali

Izinto ezitshintshileyo emtshatweni nokuba ngumzali ziyatshintsha ngokupheleleyo. Nazi ezinye iingcebiso zokulinganisa umtshato kunye nokuba ngumzali ngaphandle kokuphambana:

1. Fundisa abantwana bakho inkululeko

Ayizukubanceda kuphela ukuba bazithembe xa eqala ukwenza isidlo sakhe sakusasa, ecoca igumbi labo, kwaye edlala yedwa, kuya kunciphisa uxinzelelo kubazali kwaye kunike umama notata ixesha elininzi kunye.

Kungabonakala koyikisa ekuqaleni kodwa ngokuthe ngcembe ukwandisa inani lenkululeko okanye inkululeko yabantwana bakho kubanceda kuphela ukuba bafunde izakhono eziyimfuneko zokuphila wedwa okanye nabanye.

Umtshato kunye nokuba ngumzali kungabakho ngokubambisana. Zama ezi ngcebiso zingasentla; ukuba isenokungalawuleki, fumana iingcebiso kwiingcali ukunceda ityala lakho.

Vumelanani ngemilinganiselo yenu engundoqo

Uthando. Usapho. Umsebenzi. Ulonwabo. Nokuba zithini na ezona zinto zixabisekileyo ngokubhekisele ekubeni ngumzali, zibhale phantsi. Gcina abo baphambi kwakho, ke uhlala unabo ukubuyela kubo.

Ndiyathemba ukuba la maxabiso asisiseko aya kuba sisiseko esihle sokukunceda nina nobabini nibambe uninzi lwemiba esisiseko ngokubhekisele kubuzali; oku kungahamba indlela ende ekuncedeni ukuba ufezekise ulungelelwaniso kunye nemvisiswano emtshatweni wakho ngelixa uhamba malunga nokuba ngumzali.

Khumbula ukukhulisa abantwana abonwabileyo ngelixa ubeka umtshato wakho phambili. Ukubeka umtshato wakho kuqala okanye ukubeka iqabane phambi kwabantwana kungangqina ekulinganiseni umtshato nokuba ngumzali.

3. Nxibelelana nelungu ngalinye losapho

Ubuncinci imizuzu engama-20 ngosuku, qiniseka ukuba chitha umgangatho wedwa ixesha neqabane lakho kunye nomntwana ngamnye. Eli xesha liza kunceda umntu ngamnye ukuba akhe ubudlelwane obuhlala buhleli obuza kugcina izinto zilungelelene ekhayeni lakho.

Imikhwa oziqhelanisa nayo yonke imihla yenza ifuthe elomeleleyo ebantwaneni bakho. Ukuchitha ixesha losapho olusemgangathweni kuya kunceda abantwana bakho bafunde isenzo sokulinganisa izinto ebomini kwaye ngokucacileyo kukusondeza kubo.

4. Sukulwa phambi kwabantwana

Kunzima ngokwenene ukungavumelani nezigqibo zokuba ngumzali xa usemzuzwini wakho nabantwana bakho apho, kodwa kufuneka uyenze eyona nto iphambili kuyo.

Mhlawumbi unyana wakho oneminyaka eli-9 ubudala ungxamile; kuqhuba utata, kwaye ufuna ukukhwaza kwaye amohlwaye ngokususa ilungelo, kodwa umama unyamezele ngakumbi kwaye ucinga ukuba isohlwayo esingqongqo sisecaleni.

Endaweni yokuthetha phambi kwonyana wakho, cingani okomzuzwana. Thetha kude nonyana wakho. Yiza kwisivumelwano uze uxoxe ngaso nonyana wakho.

Oku kuya kukunceda ukuba ulungise ukungavisisani kwakho kwaye ube liqela elingaguquguqukiyo lokuba ngumzali kunyana wakho.

5.Thetha-thethana kwaye unikezele kancinci

Ukuba niyaphikisana kwisitayile sakho sokuba ngumzali, kuya kufuneka nobabini nincame ezenu iinjongo ukuze nibe kwiphepha elinye. Oku kuyakufuna uthethathethwano kunye nolungelelwaniso.

Umzekelo, ukuba umntwana wakho okwishumi elivisayo ufuna eyakhe i-iPhone, utata yena uthi hayi kwaye umama uthi ewe-mhlawumbi ninokuthetha kunye nize nibone indlela apho nizincama khona nobabini.

Ukuba ungathethathethana ngelithi vumela umntwana wakho ukuba afumane enye ukuba uyazihlawulela ngokwakhe, ke ukuba nobabini niyonwabile, wonke umntu uyaphumelela.

6. Yenza ishedyuli esebenzayo wonke umntu

Fumana zonke izinto ezibalulekileyo ezicwangcisiweyo ezigcina wonke umntu onwabile kwaye elungelelene. Sithetha ixesha lokulala, ixesha lokutya, ukuphuma kosapho, isondo-ewe, kwanesondo.

Xa usizisa abantwana emtshatweni, kuya kufuneka usebenze ngakumbi ngendlela olichitha ngayo ixesha lakho, ke ukucwangciswa kukuqinisekisa ukuba ezona zinto zibalulekileyo ziza kuqala.

7. Yiba liqela

Natshata kuba nithandana. Mhlawumbi aniyantlukwano kwiindlela zokuba ngumzali, kodwa yazini ukuba nobabini ninosukelo olufanayo — ukukhulisa abantwana abazinzileyo, abonwabileyo kwikhaya elinothando.

Bazali abonwabileyo, bantwana abonwabileyo!

Qonda indlela onokonwabisa ngayo iqabane lakho, zama ukuphucula ubudlelwane neqabane lakho, wabelane ngomthwalo njengoko ukhulisa abantwana bakho, ukuze kungabikho mntu uziva ngathi bayenza bodwa.

Jonga okuthethwa ziingcali:

8. Nxibelelana, thetha, nxibelelana

Sinokuvakala ngathi siyaziphinda, kodwa ukufunda indlela yokunxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo sesinye sezona zakhono zibalulekileyo kwezonxibelelwano onokuzifunda ukukunceda ugcine ubomi bakho bomtshato kunye nobomi bakho njengabazali.

Emva kokutshata okwethutyana, unokufumana elona xesha kuphela lokuxabana omnye nomnye xa kunqamka unxibelelwano phakathi kwenu. Kuya kufuneka uziqhelanise nezakhono zakho zonxibelelwano- zombini indlela yokuthetha kunye nexesha oza kuqalisa ngalo isifundo.

Ukugcina umtshato wakho kunye nabantwana kungangumsebenzi omkhulu kwabaninzi.Ngokwendalo, kukho imiba onqwenela ukunxibelelana neqabane lakho, kodwa abantwana bakho bafuna ingqalelo yakho, ngakumbi xa besebusana.

Kodwa, sukuqala ukuthetha ngesihloko esinzima ngo-3 kusasa xa abantwana bengayi kulala, kwaye nobabini niyakhathala. Oko kuyakuphela nini nobabini nikhathazekile kwaye nilwa-hayi kuba ninomsindo omnye komnye, kodwa ngenxa yokuba udiniwe kwaye ukhathazekile kwaye awazi enye indlela yokuchaza.

Kuhlala kulunge kakhulu ukuba ungathatha ixesha ufunde ukunxibelelana nokunxibelelana, endaweni yokungahoyi iqabane lakho kwaye uvumele iingxelo zabo zingene kwenye indlebe ziphume kwenye.

9. Zibeke phambili wena kunye nomnye

Ngokutshata wonwabile kunye nabantwana, ukuzikhathalela sesinye sezakhono ezibalulekileyo oza kuzifunda njengomlingane kunye nomzali.

Kulula ukuzityeshela xa unabantwana abaxhomekeke kuwe kunye neqabane elifuna into encinci ongakhange uyichithe ebantwaneni, kodwa ukuba ufuna ukulinganisa umtshato nokuba ngumzali, kuya kufuneka ufunde indlela yokubeka phambili ngokwakho kanye ngexesha.

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ungaluhoyi olunye uxanduva lwakho okanye abantu ebomini bakho. Endaweni yoko, yenza inqaku lokuthatha ixesha lakho, nokuba yinto encinci njengokuthatha imizuzu engama-20 ukucamngca okanye ukuzilolonga.

Kwangelo xesha, kuya kufuneka ukuba ufunde indlela yokubeka phambili omnye komnye. Yiba nomntu ogcina abantwana ebantwaneni kwaye ucwangcise ubusuku bomhla kube kanye ngenyanga okanye kube kanye ngeveki, njengoko iimali zivuma. Uya kudinwa kwaye uxinezeleke, ngakumbi kwiinyanga zokuqala emva kokuba usana luthe lwazala.

Ukwenza ixesha lobusuku obuqhelekileyo bomhla kukunika ithuba lokuphumla kwaye ufunde kwakhona indlela yokubeka phambili enye kwenye, enokuba ngumceli mngeni kubantwana abancinci ekhaya.

Ukuzibeka kuqala, abantwana bakho kunye nomtshato wakho ayizizo iikhonsepthi ezizodwa. Yinto encinci yokulinganisa, kodwa kufanelekile ekuhambeni kwexesha.

10. Dlala nabantwana bakho

Kubonakala ngathi wonke umntu unoluvo malunga nendlela ekufuneka ubakhulise ngayo abantwana bakho. Inye into esinokuvumelana ngayo sonke, nangona kunjalo, kukuba abantwana abadlala phandle njengakuqala.

Nkqu nemillennials eyakhulela kwii-1990s yayinenkululeko engakumbi yokuphonononga nokudlala- kunye nenkuthazo encinci yokuhlala endlini. Ngelishwa, olu tshintsho lukhokelele ekunyukeni kwabantwana abaphethwe kukutyeba kwabantwana.

Okwangoku, ngaphezulu kwesigidi se-12 sabantwana eUnited States siwela phantsi kokwahlulwa kwabo batyebe ngokugqithiseleyo.

Eyona ndlela ilula yokusombulula le ngxaki, okanye ubuncinci ukunciphisa ezinye zeziphumo zayo, kukuthatha ixesha lokudlala nabantwana bakho. Phuma phandle uchithe ixesha nabo ebaleni lokudlala endaweni yokuhlala ebhentshini ubabukele bedlala.

Unokumangaliswa yindlela onwabe ngayo, kwaye iya kukunceda ufumane i-cardio, nayo.

11. Ungaziva unetyala ngokuthatha ixesha

Ukuba awunguye umzali ogqibeleleyo, unokuba nexhala lokuba abantu bathetha ngawe ngasemva kwakho.

Ke kuthekani ukuba zikhona? Ngethuba nje wonke umntu ekhaya esondla, enxibile, kwaye onwabile, ungaziva ungonwabanga ngokubekela bucala ixesha lakho okanye lokuba wena neqabane lakho niphinde nidibane.

Ukuzinyamekela akuyiyo ukuzingca.

Kwaye, ukuzikhathalela kubandakanya ukukhathalela ubudlelwane bakho neqabane lakho okanye abo unabo nabantwana bakho, ukongeza kukuzikhathalela. Yile ndlela onokulinganisa ngayo umtshato wakho kunye nokuba ngumzali ngexesha elifanayo.

12. Sebenza kuyo yonke imihla

Ukufumana ibhalansi phakathi komzali kunye nomtshato wakho ngekhe kwenzeke ngobusuku obunye. Akukho nto ifanelekileyo yokwenza umzamo owenzayo.

Thatha ixesha lokuziqhelanisa kwaye ufumane ibhalansi yakho.

Kuya kufuneka usebenze kuyo yonke imihla kwaye mhlawumbi uphinde ufumane izakhono ezimbalwa, njengokuzinakekela, ulibele kwimfuno yakho yokuba ngumzali ogqibeleleyo okanye iqabane. Zikhathalele, uzikhathalele, nayo yonke enye into iya kuzikhathalela.

13. Yityani kunye

Kuyaziwa ukuba usapho olutya ndawonye luhlala kunye. Nokuba ubomi bakho buxakeke kangakanani, hlala phantsi utye kunye njengoko ingumthombo wothando, ukwaneliseka kunye nesidlo esonelisayo.

Ngaphandle koko, ukutya kukwabizwa ngokuba yindawo yokunxibelelana okunzulu. Abantu kuthiwa baziva besondele xa besitya ukutya okufanayo kunye nokutya kunye. Eli xesha losapho limangalisayo liya kukunceda sonke ukuba sikhuthaze unxibelelwano olunzulu kwaye sakhe ubudlelwane phakathi kwabazali nabantwana.

14. Yakha amasiko

Lonke usapho lunamasiko athile. Bahlala behla bevela kwiintsapho zomyeni nezomfazi eziphindaphindayo kubomi babo emva komtshato. Nangona kunjalo, kufanele ukuba kubekho izithethe zokuma ezahlukeneyo kusapho ngalunye.

Kwababini nabantwana, zama ukwakha nokuhlonipha isiko losapho lwakho- into ongathanda ukuba abantwana bakho bayenze phambili njengoko bekhula kwaye beqhubeka ebomini babo.

15. Ungaze ulwe phambi kwabantwana bakho

Ukulwa phambi kwabantwana bakho kunefuthe elibi kakhulu. Bakhula bebona abazali babo njengeenjongo zabo, kwaye xa bebabona besilwa, ibafaka ngokwasemphefumlweni. Oku kuya kubasusa kude kubazali babo okanye babenze bathathe icala.

Kananjalo, abantwana baya kukhula bakha ubudlelwane obomeleleyo ebomini babo kuphela xa bebona abazali babo besabelana ngolwalamano olunjalo.

Isiphelo

Kuza kuhlala kukho amaxesha amabi emtshatweni kodwa ngendlela eyiyo, ungalinganisa ukuba ngumzali kunye nomtshato ngokulula.

Oku akuyi kukunceda nje ukomeleza ubudlelwane bakho neqabane lakho kodwa kuya kunceda nokwakha ubudlelwane obuqinileyo kunye nentlonipho nabantwana bakho, abaya kuthi bakhule babe noxanduva kubudlelwane babo.