Indlela yokujongana nomsindo emva koqhawulo-mtshato okanye ngokwahlukana

Umbhali: Monica Porter
Umhla Wokudalwa: 17 Eyokwindla 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 1 Eyekhala 2024
Anonim
Indlela yokujongana nomsindo emva koqhawulo-mtshato okanye ngokwahlukana - I-Psychology
Indlela yokujongana nomsindo emva koqhawulo-mtshato okanye ngokwahlukana - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Uluntu lwethu lusixelela ukuba umsindo yimvakalelo yethabo. Omnye kufuneka agcinwe phantsi kwe-wraps, ilawulwe, okanye, ukuba kunokwenzeka, "ucime" kumqondiso wokuqala wokuphakama komsindo. Kodwa kwenzeke ntoni kumbono weemvakalelo zethu ezakhayo, ewe, zokuqhubeka nempilo?

Umsindo emva koqhawulo-mtshato ungokwemvelo njengezinye iimvakalelo neemvakalelo ezigqithe elinye okanye omabini amaqabane, ukanti kuphela kwento eza nolindelo lokuba siyayiphelisa.

Amaxesha amaninzi, kukho inkolelo yokuba i-ex inetyala lokungcatsha, nokuba kukungathembeki, ukuxhatshazwa, ukuphathwa gwenxa kwemali, okanye iimfuno ezingazalisekiswanga. Iqabane ngalinye liya kulwa neemvakalelo ezisekwe kwityholo lomntu ngamnye.

Ngaba kulungile ukuba nomsindo nge-ex emva komtshato okanye ukwahlukana?

Ukulandela uqhawulo-mtshato, elinye lamaqabane, wena, uziva ngathi umntu okude uye wakuphoxa okanye wakungcatsha ngokushiya, ngakumbi ukuba bekukho nakuphi na ukungalunganga okubandakanyekileyo.


Kwangolo hlobo lunye, uyaphambana nawe kuba uvumele isimilo ngalo naliphi na ubude bexesha. Ukuzibeka ityala ngokungaziboni iingxaki kwakamsinya kudala iintlungu ezibangela ukubuyela umva ngakumbi kwi-ex yakho.

Naziphi na iimvakalelo ezinamava, kubandakanya umsindo, emva kokuphulukana yinxalenye yendalo yokuqhubela phambili xa usiya phambili. Ngokwesiqhelo umsindo emva koqhawulo-mtshato uya kuza ngaphambi kwentlungu okanye usizi.

Kubalulekile ukuzivumela ukuba unikezele ngokupheleleyo kwintliziyo yakho kunye nengqondo yakho xa isenzeka, kwaye ungazami ukuba ngumntu okhaliphileyo okanye owomeleleyo njengabantu abaninzi abanokukucebisa.

Ukulwa neemvakalelo ayisiyiyo indlela eya kumntu onamandla. Ukulandela amanqanaba okuphulukana nokwenzeka ngokwendalo kuya kukomeleza kwaye ube sempilweni ekugqibeleni.

Kutheni le nto amanye amaqabane ebamba umsindo kumntu athandana naye emva komtshato?

Ityala kunye noqhawulo-mtshato zizinto ezivuthayo amaqabane amaninzi alwa nazo kulandela ukuhlukana. Ngokubanzi, ezi zinika indlela yokwamkelwa kunye nokuqhubela phambili.


Ngelishwa, amanye amaqabane abambelela kumsindo emva koqhawulo-mtshato, avumela imvakalelo ukuba isebenze njengomqobo kwindlela yabo yexesha elizayo. Ukuba uzifumana ukulesi sikhundla, kunokuba njalo kuba awufuni ukuthatha inyathelo lokungena ngaphakathi.

Xa usenza oko, kuya kufuneka ujonge nokuba kutheni ungakhange uhambe okanye ubone iingxaki ngaphambi kokuba iqabane lakho lenze. Oko akuthethi ukuba kuya kufuneka ubeke ityala kwi-yourps

Okwangoku, ukuba ukwindlela eqhubekayo yokukhomba umnwe kunye nokubalisa ukuba kutheni umntu eshiye ubudlelwane, nokuba kukho into engalunganga, lixesha lokuba ujonge esipilini. Sebenza ngezo mvakalelo kuba ezi zezona zininzi zidala umqobo wendlela.

Kwiimeko ezininzi, kubuhlungu kakhulu ukucinga ukuba ungawusombulula lo mbambano kwangoko, okanye udlale indima yokuba umtshato uphele. Kulula kakhulu kwaye kukhuselekile ukuba nomsindo komnye umntu, khomba iimpazamo zabo, kwaye ukhwaze ityala kunye nokungaboni ngasonye.


Iingcebiso ezili-15 zendlela yokujongana nomsindo xa usiya kwi-ex emva komtshato

Wonke umntu ulawula iimvakalelo zakhe ngeendlela ezizodwa. Indlela ojamelana ngayo nomsindo noqhawulo-mtshato ziya kwahluka ngokupheleleyo kunendlela umhlobo anokukhetha ukumelana nayo.

Into ebaluleke kakhulu kukuvumela ukuba ubenemvakalelo kwaye uyijonge ngendlela esempilweni, eyakhayo, ungaboni kuphela umntu wakudala kodwa ujonge ngokwakho. Amanye amacebo aluncedo kwizinto onokuzama ukuzenza ngendlela yakho:

1. Hlala ugxile kwizibakala

Kunokuba lula ukuwela kwingqondo yokuba ekugqibeleni uya kuxolelana nakwimeko yomsindo.

Ngokwengqondo, kubalulekile ukuzama ukuzigcina ukwinyani yeemeko, uqonde ukuba umtshato uphelile ukuze uqhubele phambili ukusuka kwinqanaba lokuba nomsindo uye kwamanye amanqanaba okuphulukana.

Awuyi kuba nakho ukujonga ukuba ubomi buya kwahluka njani okanye wenze izigqibo ngelixa ubambekile kwesi sigaba.

Endaweni yoko, uya kuzama ukufumana izizathu zokuxoxa ngakumbi ngokwenzekileyo kwaye kutheni usombulula ingxaki. Xa unamathele apha, kulapho kufuneka ujonge esipilini kwaye uqale ukusebenza ngaphakathi.

Thatha ixesha lakho

Abahlobo kunye nosapho baya kukukhuthaza ukuba womelele kwaye uqhubeke xa umntu evutha ngumsindo, amaxesha amaninzi xa engaqinisekanga ukuba yeyiphi enye into onokuyicebisa.

Akukho kungxama xa usebenza ngeemvakalelo. Amava ngamnye de ungasekho kodwa wenze ngokwakhayo. Ngokubaluleke ngokufanayo kukuba nenkxaso ngelixa uziva ezi mvakalelo.

Vumela abo bakungqongileyo bayazi imida kunye nento oyifunayo ngeli xesha. Abantu abafanelekileyo baya kukuvumela uthethe, wenze, kwaye usebenze ngomsindo wakho emva komtshato.

3. Ukuzimela ngokwakho kweentaka

Awuyedwa okanye akufanele ube.

Ngayo yonke ingqumbo yokuziva ubukekile, kubalulekile ukuba ubuncinci umhlobo omnye okanye ilungu losapho onokuthi ukhuphe kulo ukukhathazeka kwakho kwaye ubonakalise umsindo emva koqhawulo-mtshato, ngakumbi ukuba bekukho ukungalunganga kwicala langaphambili.

Kusenokwenzeka ukuba awuzange uzibone iimpawu ezilumkisayo kwaye uzive unetyala ngokungaziboni ezi mpawu ukuze usabele ngokukhawuleza. Ukuzithemba, ukubamba isilevu phezulu, kunye nokuqhubela phambili ngobabalo kugqithisile.

Rhoqo kukhokelela kubukrakra, nabantu abaninzi bakhulisa iintliziyo ezilukhuni kunye neziphumo eziqhubeka kubudlelwane bexesha elizayo. Kubalulekile ukuphilisa ngokupheleleyo. Ukwenza oko, iimvakalelo kufuneka zivakale, kwaye nabahlobo bayimfuneko ukusinceda senze oko.

4. Ungalibali malunga nokuzondla ngokwakho ngenxa yemood

Nokuba ubandakanyeka kumadabi ex ex yakho okanye ujonge iimeko, kuya kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba uyazikhathalela.

Ukuzikhathalela kukondla umzimba, ingqondo kunye nomphefumlo, ukukhuthaza ukuhamba kwiimvakalelo ezahlukeneyo, kubandakanya umsindo. Ukuba uziva wonwabile ngesiqu sakho, uza kuqala uzive usempilweni kwaye ekugqibeleni uphinde ube nolonwabo.

5. Wuva umsindo

Ewe, kukho umsindo emva komtshato. Yinto eqhelekileyo. Kodwa kwezinye iimeko, le mvakalelo igubungela ezinye iimvakalelo, mhlawumbi kukho into eyenzakeleyo okanye mhlawumbi uziva ulusizi ngenxa yokuphulukana nobudlelwane.

Kwabesilisa abaya kuqhawula umtshato, kukho ulindelo lwentlalo olucingelwayo ukuba umsindo ube luhlobo olulindelweyo lweemvakalelo oluphambili kunye nokutshintsha amanye amanqanaba okuphulukana.

Oko kubonakala kukucinga okungekho sikweni. Okwangoku, kubalulekile ukubandakanya umsindo ukuze ufikelele kwiimvakalelo zokwenyani ezifihle phantsi komphezulu womsindo. Kukho amandla angaqhelekanga avela kule mvakalelo.

Unokuxhamla nakuphi na ukomelela komzimba okanye ukhwaze ezinye zezo mvakalelo kukuthuthuzela umqamelo. Ungothuka xa ukhutshwa kule misebenzi.

Ungamfumana ke umhlobo onokuthi ukhuphe kuye ngokukhululekileyo iimvakalelo zakho zokwenyani zosizi, intlungu, okanye iintlungu.

6. Yazi into ekuvuselelayo

Xa uziva iziqendu zomsindo, ngesiqhelo, kuya kubakho izinto ezithile ezibangela ukuba uzise. Kungenzeka xa ubona i-ex yakho okanye, mhlawumbi, xa usuku lwakho lomtshato lusondela.

Ukuba uyayiqonda into ekubekela ecaleni, kuya kuba lula kakhulu ukujongana nemeko xa ivela. Emva koko unokuzama ukucwangcisela ukuqala kwesisombululo ngokuphucula isisombululo.

7. Akukho xesha lifanelekileyo okanye umda wexesha

Musa ukulindela ukuba umsindo wakho emva koqhawulo-mtshato ubekelwe ixesha elimisiweyo. Kananjalo akufuneki ukuba ulindele ukuba ukusabela ngokweemvakalelo kuya kwenzeka kwindawo yakho ethe cwaka.

Unokulindela ukuba ube nokugqabhuka okukhulu ngexesha elingalunganga, nokuba usemsebenzini okanye uphakathi kwintengiso yokutya.

Awunakho ukuzivumela ukuba ubonane nesiqendu esipheleleyo esinomsindo ngala maxesha angathandekiyo. Endaweni yoko, kufuneka ubeke iimvakalelo zakho kude kube kwindawo yakho yabucala kwaye emva koko uzivumele ixesha elithile lokuba nomsindo ngaphandle kokuzibhuqa ixesha elide.

Ukuphelisa umtshato kunokubangela ukuba wonke umntu aphambane, azive, kodwa ungawasebenzisi kakhulu la mava.

Bukela le vidiyo ukuze uqonde ukuba kutheni abanye abantu benokubamba umsindo emva kokwahlukana okanye ukuqhawula umtshato.

8. Yisa kwijenali yakho

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ulwe nomsindo wakho emva koqhawulo-mtshato nowayesakuba ngumhlobo wakho okanye ude ube neentloni nabahlobo okanye usapho ukuba ngaba enye yezi zinto ayinampilo. Endaweni yoko, ijenali.

Ukubhala yonke into ohlangabezana nayo kuya kukunceda kwiimvakalelo ngenye yezona ndlela zakha. Ngomso olandelayo funda iingcinga zakho kusuku olungaphambili kwaye uvavanye ukuba zithelekiswa njani nemeko okuyo ngoku.

9.Yenza ngokwezi meko imeko yakho

Kuba ukubhalwa kweendaba kukuvumela ukuba ukhuphe iimvakalelo zakho, kungafika ixesha apho unokuhlengahlengisa ukuphela komtshato ngaphandle kwesizathu sokusola mntu.

Oko kuya kuba kukutshintsha apho inkqubo yokuphilisa ingaqala khona.

Uya kuqala ukuziva unomsindo kwaye wamkele ukuba uqhawulo mtshato yeyona nto ibalulekileyo kuni nobabini kwaye niqonde ukuba bekukho izizathu ezinzulu kunokuba bezisiwe ngaphambili, kwaye ungabuthwala ubunzima.

10. Vumela ukuphilisa kwaye ufumane isifundo

Isiganeko ngasinye esenzeka ebomini sinika isifundo esibalulekileyo. Nokuba kuya kuvela ukuba kulungile okanye akunjalo kuya kuvela ukuba kubonwe.

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba uphilise kwaye uqaphele oko ukufumeneyo ukusuka kuloo mzuzu ukuze ube lolona hlobo lubhetele lokuba ubenguye emva koko.

11. Uxolelo lunokwenzeka

Umsindo emva koqhawulo-mtshato ekugqibeleni kufuneka unike indawo uxolelo. Eyona nto kujoliswe kuyo yeyona ex yakho, kodwa uhlala uthwele umsindo. Kwiimeko ezininzi, ukuba iqabane libamba umsindo kumlingane emva komtshato, kufanelekile.

Kukho ukungalunganga ngokubanzi kohlobo oluthile, mhlawumbi umcimbi. Kodwa ubeka ityala kuwe kuba khange ulibone kwaye usabele ngokukhawuleza kwimeko leyo.

Njengoko ixesha lihamba, ityala kunye nomsindo kufuneka uthathe indawo yokuxolelwa. Oko kuya kuba lulonwabo lwakho lokugqibela kunye nokukhula kwaye ke akukho namnye unalo nqanaba lamandla phezu kwakho.

12. Jonga kwikamva

Ukuba ujonga ngaphaya komsindo emva komtshato, ungaqala ukwenza izigqibo ngekamva. Kungangumceli mngeni, kodwa ukuba ungazama ukugxila kumandla akho ekucwangciseni amanyathelo akho alandelayo, kunokukunceda usebenze kwenye ilahleko.

Ubunenkolelo yokuba ulifumene ikamva lakho kwaye konke kwenzekile, kodwa ngoku kufuneka ucinge ngezinto ezinokukulindela ngenye indlela.

13. Kuphephe ukutsiba kumjikelo wokuthandana

Ukusebenza ngomsindo emva koqhawulo-mtshato ayisiyiyo kuphela inqanaba; zimbalwa. Kubalulekile ukuba uphilise ngokupheleleyo kwaye ube sempilweni ngaphambi kokuba uzame nobomi bokuthandana. Akunakulunga kuwe, kodwa ngakumbi kwabanye abantu odibana nabo.

Umntu ozisa kuye kwihlabathi kufuneka abe lolona hlobo luhle kakhulu, esempilweni kwaye ekhululekile njengomntu ongatshatanga onomdla kubudlelwane kodwa angayilangazeleli. Unokufumana nakwelo nqanaba; ayiloxesha elililo okwangoku. Zinike ixesha elide njengoko ufuna.

14. Uncedo luhlala lukhethwa

Ukuba awuyenzi indlela yakho ngomsindo emva koqhawulo-mtshato njengoko ucinga ukuba kufanelekile, kwaye ibilixesha elibalulekileyo okoko kwagqitywa, kububulumko ukuqaphela inkxaso eyongezelelweyo ngaphandle kwabahlobo kunye nosapho.

Akukho hlazo ekufikeleleni kunyangi okanye kumcebisi xa usokola ngelixa usebenza ngokwamanqanaba eemvakalelo, nokuba unesangqa sangaphakathi esixhasayo.

Kukudos kuwe ukuba womelele ngokwaneleyo ukuba ungavuma ukuba kunzima. Ngokwenyani iphakathi kwemiceli mngeni ebaluleke kakhulu nakubani na oya kuhamba nayo, nabantu abaninzi abafuna igalelo lonyango ukubakhokela kuyo impilo.

Fumana intsingiselo yakho kwaye uye phambili

Ngelixa kuxhwilo lomsindo emva koqhawulo-mtshato, uya kube uzibuze imibuzo ezizigidi enje ngesizathu nesiphoso sikabani esidala iimvakalelo ezinamandla ngakumbi zomsindo kunye nokudandatheka okoko okungaziwayo kukushiye uziva ungenaluncedo kwaye ungenakulawula.

Xa ufikelela kwinqanaba elithile, uya kufumana iimpendulo ngaphakathi kwakho kwindawo yovelwano, ububele kunye nokunyaniseka. Akusayi kuphinda kubekho mfuneko yokwalatha iminwe, ukugxeka kwaye awuyi kuvumela nabani na ukuba ahambe.

Eli lixesha lokuba ufumane intsingiselo emva kwento oziva ngayo ukuze uphilise elo candelo kwaye uqhubele phambili.

Zeziphi ezinye iindlela ezisempilweni zokuhlangabezana nomsindo woqhawulo-mtshato ovela kwi-ex?

Umsindo emva koqhawulo-mtshato ngamava acelomngeni kodwa aqhelekileyo kwelinye okanye omabini amaqabane. Xa umntu omnye efumana ityala, kunokuba ngumceli mngeni ukuphatha imvakalelo ebhekiswe kuwe, nokuba iyafuneka okanye akunjalo.

Ngelixa wonke umntu esazi ukuba iimvakalelo zikhokelela ekuphilisweni, iqabane langaphambili kwisiphelo sokufumana kufuneka lifumane indlela esempilweni yokunceda inkqubo kunye.

Ezinye iindlela zokuzama:

1. Kulungile ukuqhubeka nobomi bakho

Ngelixa kunokuba ngumceli mngeni kwiqabane lakho, akukho nto iphosakeleyo xa usiya phambili ukuba ukwindawo esempilweni yokwenza njalo.

Zijikeleze ngabantu abaxhasayo abakuphakamisayo kwaye babandakanyeke ekuzinyamekeleni ngokufanelekileyo ukukunceda ukuba uphinde ubenempilo.

2. Khangela iindawo ezintsha onokufikelela kuzo rhoqo

Unokuba neendawo oqhele ukuzonwabela, kodwa ukuba ezi bezizezindawo eniye kuzo njengesiqabane, jongani iinketho ezintsha.

Awufuni ukukhuthaza imeko ngokubaleka kwi-ex yakho endaweni yokuphepha ukubakho.

3. Kuphephe ukuzikhusela

Umntu onomsindo ngamanye amaxesha unokuyinyusa inyani ibe sisiphithiphithi esigcwele ityala kunye nokunyelisa. Yintlungu kuphela kunye nokwenzakala okuphuma njengomsindo.

Ngelixa unokufuna ukuzikhusela kwizityholo zakho, kububulumko ukuthula cwaka ukunqanda ukubuyela umva nokukhula.

4. Yilwa nomnqweno wokuthatha inxaxheba

Ngexesha elithile, uya kuba nomsindo xa umonde uncipha, kwaye unokufuna ukuphindezela ngokuziphindezela. Siphephe eso silingo.

Lo ngumntu ophethe uthando olukhulu kunye nembeko kuye kwaye nabo bakwenzele. Ukwenza idabi yinto enkulu kuni nobabini.

5. Yima ngokuzithemba kwimida yakho

Kubalulekile ukugcina imida kunye nomnye umntu ngendlela eqinisekileyo, ethembekileyo ukuze kungabikho ukudideka kwi-ex yakho.

Ukubonakala ngathi kukungxola okanye ukubonisa ngathi "kuyonwabisa" kunokubangela ukuba umntu abe nomsindo njengoko kubonakala ngathi kukudlala umdlalo.

6. Ukuzama ukuqonda intsingiselo

Nokuba kungumbhalo, i-imeyile, okanye iposi yenkumba, funda imiyalezo efunyenwe kwi-ex yakho nokuba ayimnandanga kangako ukuzama ukufumana eyona nto iphambili kuyo.

Ukuba kukho umnqweno wokuxolelana, kufuneka uqine kwisimo sakho ukunqanda ukungaqondani malunga nesikhundla sakho.

7. Sukuyithatha into yokuloba

Ukuba umntu wangaphambili akaqhubeki nobomi babo kwaye unomsindo emva koqhawulo-mtshato, kunokubakho iinzame zokuhlala zinxibelelana, ngenxa yoko baziva benxibelelene ngandlela thile. Banokuthumela umyalezo ngombuzo ovulekileyo okanye enye indlela yokufuna ukwazi.

Emva koko uziva isidingo sokufikelela; sukuthatha isithiyelo. Akubikho sizathu soqhakamshelwano ngaphandle kokuba sele ninabantwana kunye, eyintetho eyahlukileyo.

8. Abahlobo abasondeleyo kunye nosapho babalulekile

Thetha nabahlobo bakho abasondeleyo kunye nosapho malunga nento oyinyamezelayo. Qiniseka ukuba ezi zizihlobo owawunazo kuphela, hayi izihlobo ezifanayo ne ex yakho. Ufuna ukwazi ukuthetha ngokukhululekileyo nabantu abakukhathalele ngokwenene.

9. Zama ukuba nomonde kangangoko

Kuya kuba nzima, kodwa kuya kufuneka uzame ukuba nomonde kwi-ex yakho. Ngelixa abanye abantu banokuchitha ixesha elininzi behamba ngamanqanaba okuphulukana, uvelwano kunye nokuqonda kunokuba luncedo ekuncedeni le nkqubo.

Ukuba umntu wakho wangaphambili ufumene uvelwano ngokutshintsha umsindo wabo, kunokunceda ukusasaza iimvakalelo, ekugqibeleni ukuphelisa umsindo nengqumbo.

10. Thetha nomcebisi

Rhoqo ukuthetha nengcali yezonyango kunokunceda apho abahlobo kunye nosapho banokungakwazi ukwenza njalo. Abo basondeleyo abanako ukwahlula ngokwaneleyo ukumamela ngaphandle kokubonelela ngengcebiso ethandekayo. Umcebisi unokukhokela ngokufanelekileyo.

Iingcinga zokugqibela

Uqhawulo-mtshato alukho lula nakubani na; iqabane libanjiwe lingazi okanye iqabane licela ngaphandle komtshato. Umntu ngamnye uya kufumana ilahleko ngendlela yakhe.

Ngokubanzi, isicelo soqhawulo mtshato lixesha elide ekwenzeni. Oko kuthetha ukuba iqabane elishiya umtshato lijongane nokuphela komtshato ngelixa lidityaniswa, kwaye mhlawumbi bakulungele ukuqhubeka.

Kodwa intsha, iluhlaza, kwaye ibuhlungu kwelinye iqabane. Ukubona i-ex iqhubela phambili ngokulula kungabacaphukisi nje kuphela, kodwa umsindo uhlala kubo ngexesha lenkqubo kwaye ihlala ingaphaya.

Umsindo emva koqhawulo-mtshato yinyani, yimvakalelo yokwenyani ekufuneka abantu befumene amava (eyakhayo) kunye nokuphilisa ukuze baqhubeke nempilo. Kwaye ii-ex's kufuneka zibonise ubuso bokuba novelwano kumntu ababekhe bamthanda njengomboniso wokugqibela wentlonipho.