Umxholo
- 1. Ukuzama ukuphumelela
- 2. Ukuzama ukulunga
- 3. Abathethi
- 4. Ukuzenza ngathi unxibelelana
- 5. Ukuzama ukwenzakalisa
Isibini sinxibelelana ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Nangona kunjalo, bahlala benxibelelana ngeendlela ezonakalisa ulwalamano lwabo kunokwakha. Apha ngezantsi kukho iindlela ezine ezixhaphakileyo izibini ezinxibelelana ngazo ngendlela eyonakalisayo.
1. Ukuzama ukuphumelela
Mhlawumbi olona hlobo luqhelekileyo lonxibelelwano olubi kuxa izibini zizama ukuphumelela. Injongo yale ndlela yokunxibelelana ayikokusombulula ukungavisisani ngokuhloniphana nokwamkela ingxoxo yemicimbi. Endaweni yoko, elinye ilungu lesibini (okanye omabini amalungu) ayithatha njengengxoxo njengedabi kwaye ke ngoko azibandakanye kumaqhinga ayilelwe ukuphumelela umlo.
Izicwangciso ezisetyenziselwa ukuphumelela idabi zibandakanya:
- Ukuzikhubekisa (“Owu Thixo wam, andazi ukuba ndiyinyamezele njani le nto!”)
- Ukoyikisa (“Ungasuke uthule undimamele kube kanye?)
- Usoloko ekhalaza ukuze unxibe omnye umntu (“Kukangaphi ndikuxelela ukuba ukhuphe inkunkuma?
Inxalenye yokuzama ukuphumelela imalunga nokuthoba ixabiso lomlingane wakho. Ubona iqabane lakho linenkani, linentiyo, lizicingela lodwa, liziphakamisa, lisisiyatha okanye linomntwana. Injongo yakho kunxibelelwano kukwenza iqabane lakho libone ukukhanya kwaye linikezele kulwazi lwakho oluphezulu kunye nokuqonda. Kodwa enyanisweni awuzange uphumelele ngokwenene ngokusebenzisa olu hlobo lonxibelelwano; Unokwenza ukuba iqabane lakho lingenise kwinqanaba elithile, kodwa kuya kubakho ixabiso eliphezulu lokungeniswa. Akusayi kubakho luthando lokwenene kubudlelwane bakho. Iya kuba bubudlelwane obungenaluthando, obunamandla bokuzithoba.
2. Ukuzama ukulunga
Olunye uhlobo oluqhelekileyo lonxibelelwano olonakalisayo luphuma kutyekelo lomntu lokufuna ukulunga. Ukuya kwinqanaba elithile okanye kwelinye, sonke sifuna ukuba lilungile. Yiyo loo nto izibini zihlala zinempikiswano efanayo kwaye akukho nto iya kuze isonjululwe. “Uyaphazama!” ilungu elinye liyakuthetha. Awuyifumani! ” Elinye ilungu liyakuthi, “Hayi, uphazamile. Ndim owenza yonke into kwaye konke okwenzayo kukuthetha ngendlela endingalunganga ngayo. ” Ilungu lokuqala liza kuziphendulela, “Ndiyathetha ngendlela eniphosakele ngayo ngenxa yokuba niphazamile. Kwaye awuyiboni tu! ”
Abantu abatshatileyo ekufuneka belungile abaze bafike kwinqanaba lokuba bakwazi ukusombulula iingxabano kuba abanakho ukuyeka iimfuno zabo zokuba balungile. Ukuze unikezele ngaloo mfuno, umntu kufuneka azimisele kwaye akwazi ukuzijonga ngendlela eyiyo. Bambalwa abanokukwenza oko.
UConfucius uthe, "ndihambile ndaya kwiindawo ezikude kwaye andikadibani nomntu onokuzizisela isigwebo." Isinyathelo sokuqala ekupheliseni ukuxhamla okungalunganga ngokungalunganga kukulungela ukuvuma ukuba unempazamo malunga nento ethile. Ewe unokuba uphosakele malunga nezinto onqabileyo ngazo.
3. Abathethi
Ngamanye amaxesha izibini ziyayeka ukunxibelelana. Babamba yonke into ngaphakathi kwaye iimvakalelo zabo ziyenziwa endaweni yokubonisa ngomlomo. Abantu bayayeka ukunxibelelana ngezizathu ezahlukeneyo:
- Boyika ukungaphulaphulwa;
- Abafuni kuzenza babe sesichengeni;
- Ukuthintela umsindo wabo kuba omnye umntu akakufanelanga;
- Bacinga ukuba ukuthetha kuya kukhokelela kwimpikiswano. Ke umntu ngamnye uhlala ngokuzimela kwaye akathethi nangantoni na komnye umntu ebalulekileyo kubo. Bathetha nabahlobo babo, kodwa hayi omnye komnye.
Xa izibini ziyeka ukunxibelelana, umtshato wazo awunanto. Banokuhamba ngokuhamba kweminyaka, mhlawumbi kude kube sekupheleni. Iimvakalelo zabo, njengoko benditshilo, ziya kwenziwa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Benziwa ngokungathethi omnye komnye, ngokuthetha nabanye abantu malunga nomnye, ngokungabikho kwemvakalelo okanye uthando lomzimba, ngokukhohlisa omnye komnye, kunye nobuninzi bezinye iindlela. Logama nje behleli benje, bakumtshato wentlambululo-miphefumlo.
4. Ukuzenza ngathi unxibelelana
Kukho amaxesha apho isibini senza ngathi siyathetha. Elinye ilungu lifuna ukuthetha kwaye elinye limamele kwaye linqwale ngokungathi ukuqonda ngokupheleleyo. Zombini ziyazenzisa. Ilungu elifuna ukuthetha alifuni ukuthetha, kodwa lifuna ukufundisa okanye ukwenza uqeqesho kwaye lifuna omnye umntu ukuba amamele kwaye athethe into elungileyo. Ilungu elimameleyo alimameli ngokwenyani kodwa lizenza ngathi limamele ngenjongo yokuxolisa. Uyayiqonda le nto ndiyithethayo? ” ilungu elinye lithi. "Ewe, ndiqonda ngokupheleleyo." Bahamba ngale ndlela rhoqo, kodwa akukho nto isonjululwe ngokwenene.
Okwexeshana, emva kwezi ntetho zokuzenzisa, izinto zibonakala ziba ngcono. Benza ngathi ngabantu abonwabileyo. Baya emathekweni babambe izandla kwaye wonke umntu uthetha ngendlela abonwabe ngayo. Kodwa ukonwaba kwabo kukwenza inkangeleko kuphela. Ekugqibeleni, esi sibini siwela kumgaqo ofanayo, kwaye kukho imfuneko yokuba nibe nenye incoko. Nangona kunjalo, akukho qabane lifuna ukungena nzulu kwilizwe lokunyaniseka. Ukuzenzisa akusongeli kangako. Kwaye ke baphila ubomi obungakhathaliyo.
5. Ukuzama ukwenzakalisa
Ngamanye amaxesha izibini zinokuba ndlongondlongo. Asikuko nokuba ulungile okanye uphumelele; imalunga nokwenzakalisa omnye komnye. Ezi zibini zisenokuba zathandana ekuqaleni, kodwa ezantsi kwendlela bawela kwintiyo. Rhoqo izibini ezinengxaki yotywala ziya kuthi zenze ezi ntlobo zeemfazwe, apho baya kuchitha ubusuku emva kobusuku bebeka phantsi, ngamanye amaxesha ngeyona ndlela imbi kakhulu. “Andazi ukuba kwakutheni ukuze nditshate nesithukuthezi somlomo onje ngawe!” omnye uza kuthi, omnye uphendule athi, “Utshatile kuba akukho mntu ungomnye uzokuthatha isimilo esifana nawe.”
Ngokucacileyo, kwimitshato enjalo unxibelelwano lusezantsi. Abantu abaphikisanayo ngokubeka abanye phantsi bathwaxwa kukuzithemba okuphantsi kwaye bakhohlisiwe bacinga ukuba ngokuthoba isidima somntu banokubalasela ngandlela thile. Bakumjikelo wokungaboni ngasonye ukuze baziphazamise kwinyani yobomi babo.