Umxholo
- Iinkolelo eziphambili malunga nabafazi
- 1. Iindima ezahlukileyo ezinikezelweyo ngokwethiyori yendaleko
- 2. Imiba yezentlalo nenkcubeko inefuthe elikhulu kubafazi
- 3. Iimpendulo ezahlukileyo kwisini kunye nokwabelana ngesondo okungafaniyo ngesondo
- 4. Uluntu luphatha njani abantu basetyhini
- 5. Umahluko omkhulu kwinkcubeko nakwidemografi
- 6. Ukunyuka kwentshukumo yentshukumo ye- #metoo
- 7. Umahluko kwiimbono
Abasetyhini kulindeleke ukuba baziphathe ngokwahlukileyo kunamadoda kususela mandulo. Umbono wamadoda nabafazi beeplanethi ezimbini ezahlukeneyo babanjwa okoko incwadi ethi, 'Amadoda avela eMars, Abasetyhini bavela eVenus', yaqala ukupapashwa kudala phaya ngonyaka we-1992.
Incwadi yabhalwa ngumbhali waseMelika kunye nomcebisi kwezobudlelwane, uJohn Gray. Zenziwe ngokwahlukileyo kwaye kulindeleke ukuba ziziphathe ngokwahlukileyo.
Iinkolelo eziphambili malunga nabafazi
Iinkolelo ezinje ngabasetyhini kufuneka zibe yidemure kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi babo zilawula kakhulu kuluntu lwethu nanamhlanje. Nangona kukho abantu abaphula amakhamandela kwaye baphonononge ubuni babo ngaphezu kookhokho babo, uluntu lwenza konke okusemandleni abo ukuba boyise amazwi abo.
Uninzi lwabantu, kubandakanya nabasetyhini abambalwa, bayaphikisana nembono yokuba isini esifanelekileyo kufuneka sisebenzise amandla abo esondo rhoqo.
Uluntu olulawulwa ngamadoda luyoyika ukunyuka koxhotyiso lwabasetyhini kunye nokuzabalazela ilizwe apho abasetyhini bathuliswa kwaye banyanzelwa ukuba bamkele iindima abazinikwe luluntu ngokwalo.
Izizathu zokuba kutheni abantu basetyhini baphambukile ekusebenziseni amandla abo ezesondo okanye bakhetha ukuthula cwaka ngeminqweno yabo yesini.
1. Iindima ezahlukileyo ezinikezelweyo ngokwethiyori yendaleko
Ngokwengcamango yendaleko ebhalwe ngu Okami kunye neShackelford, abafazi batyala imali eninzi kubuzali kunamadoda. Ngokucacileyo, le ndlela ichaphazele ukhetho lwabo lweqabane kunye nokuzimisela kwabo ukuzibandakanya kubudlelwane bexeshana.
Ukusukela kumaxesha amandulo, bekukho iindawo ezichaziweyo zangaphambili zoluntu kumntu ngamnye.
Abasetyhini kwakulindeleke ukuba bahlale ekhaya kwaye banakekele usapho. Ekuqaleni, abade bavezwa kwimfundo yanamhlanje. Babenentambo ngokwahlukileyo kumalungu angamadoda ekuhlaleni.
Ngethamsanqa, umfanekiso utshintshile namhlanje.
Abasetyhini baye bayilahla ngempumelelo yonke imithintelo. Bawuthathile ngokupheleleyo umzimba nengqondo yabo. Okwangoku, bafumana ulwaneliseko oluncinci ngokuqhubeka nokujikeleza isondo bade bavelise abantwana.
2. Imiba yezentlalo nenkcubeko inefuthe elikhulu kubafazi
Umnqweno wesini kwabasetyhini ubuthathaka kakhulu kwindalo esingqongileyo kunye nemeko- U-Edward O. Laumann
U-Edward O. Laumann, Ph.D., uprofesa wesayensi yezentlalo kwiYunivesithi yaseChicago kunye nombhali okhokelayo wovavanyo olukhulu lwezenzo zesondo, Umbutho wezeNtlalontle wezesondo: Izenzo zesondo eMelika.
NgokukaNjingalwazi, uninzi lwabantu abadala abangaphantsi kweminyaka engama-60 bacinga ngesondo ubuncinci kube kanye ngemini. Kwelinye icala, ikota enye yabasetyhini abawela phantsi kweminyaka efanayo bayavuma ukuba bacinga ngesondo rhoqo. Ukucamngca ngesini kuyancipha ngeminyaka kodwa amadoda asacinga kaninzi rhoqo.
3. Iimpendulo ezahlukileyo kwisini kunye nokwabelana ngesondo okungafaniyo ngesondo
Olunye uphononongo olupapashwe kwiiJenali zeGerontology lubonisa indlela amadoda nabafazi abakwiminyaka eyahlukeneyo abaphendula ngayo ngokwesondo ngokwahlukileyo. Olu phononongo luqokelele idatha kwezinye iisaveyi ezimbini, uPhando lweSizwe lwezeMpilo kunye neNtlalo yoBomi beNtlalo kunye neProjekthi yeSizwe yoBomi bezeNtlalontle, yezeMpilo kunye neyokuguga.
Kwi-bracket yobudala beminyaka engama-44-59, iipesenti ezingama-88 zamadoda zafunyanwa zisabelana ngesondo ngokungafaniyo nabasetyhini abawela phantsi kwebrakethi efanayo. Abafazi, babesondele kwizithende zamadoda, kungekho sikhewu sikhulu. Kuqikelelwa ukuba phantse iipesenti ezingama-72 zabasetyhini ababa neentlobano zesini kwinqanaba elifanayo.
Uphando olongezelelekileyo lwangqinisisa ukuba amadoda abonisa umnqweno wokuzibandakanya kwisondo amaxesha angama-7 ngenyanga kunye nabasetyhini ababonisa ukungabinakho ukuqhuba kancinci kwi-6.5.
Izifundo ziye zafumanisa ukuba amadoda ayaqhubeka nokubonisa iminqweno yesini ephezulu naxa ewela umda wobudala obuphakathi.
La manani angentla angqina ukuba amadoda aqhutywa ngokwesondo ngakumbi kunabafazi. Yiyo loo nto ukuthetha ngesondo nabahlobo kungumxholo ongazibandakanyi kubo ngokuchasene nabesilisa babo.
4. Uluntu luphatha njani abantu basetyhini
Umbutho uphathe abafazi ngendlela eyahlukileyo ukusukela kwiminyaka yobudala. Kukho amazwe anjengeMelika apho abasetyhini bonwabela inkululeko epheleleyo yokujonga ubuni babo. Apha, abahlali bendawo banezinto ezingcono abanokuzenza kunokufaka iimpumlo zabo kumagumbi okulala abanye abantu.
Kodwa, ambalwa amazwe apho abantu basetyhini abavumelekanga nokuba babhence ulusu lwabo esidlangalaleni. Inkcubeko kunye nenkolo zimbini iiparameter ezichaza ngokuthe ngqo indlela umntu afanele aziphathe ngayo esidlangalaleni.
5. Umahluko omkhulu kwinkcubeko nakwidemografi
Ifilimu ehlekisayo yothando yaseMelika, 'iSini kunye neSixeko 2', ibonakalise ngokucacileyo umahluko ngokwenkcubeko phakathi kwababhinqileyo ababhinqileyo kwifilimu kunye nabafazi base-Abu Dhabi.
Ukuqhubela phambili, ifilimu efanayo ibonise ukuba ilizwe elinjengo-Abu Dhabi elaliqhubela phambili ngeendlela ezininzi lalihlala lilondolozile apho isondo lalichaphazelekayo. Ayilo bali nje eli malunga neentlanga zase-Arabia. Nabasetyhini abavela kumazwe akumazantsi-mpuma eAsia afana neIndiya bajongana nemicimbi efanayo enxulumene nezesondo mihla le.
6. Ukunyuka kwentshukumo yentshukumo ye- #metoo
Umzekelo, i-slut-shaming iyeyona nto iluncedo kakhulu ekoyiseni isini esibuthathaka apha. Uluntu luhlala luthanda ukugxeka umntu obhinqileyo nokuba ulixhoba lokuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo esidlangalaleni. Ngaphandle kwentshukumo eqhubekayo '#meToo' kwihlabathi liphela, bambalwa amaxhoba azimiseleyo ukuphakamisa amazwi abo ngokuchasene naboni babo.
Kungenxa yokuba amaxhoba odlwengulo axhwalekile ngakumbi yimibuzo ephazamisayo ebuzwe kubo ngamagqwetha kwinkundla evulekileyo.
Kwaye nabafazi bamazwe aqhubela phambili anjengeMelika aphantsi kwehlazo. Uphononongo olwenziwe nguMbutho waseMelika wabaseTyhini baseYunivesithi, ityhila ukuba ukuhlazeka ngamanyala yenye yeendlela eziphambili zeSexual Harassment abajamelana nayo abafundi abaphakathi naphakathi kumabanga aphakamileyo.
Omnye umzekelo we-slut-shaming wabetha kwimithombo yeendaba xa iHuffington Post yapapasha ezo imeyile ezazitshintshiselana phakathi kwe-CEO ye-Miss America Organisation uSam Haskell kunye namalungu ebhodi ahlukeneyo. Abaphumeleleyo kukhuphiswano babeneentloni kwaye betyebile kwi-imeyile.
7. Umahluko kwiimbono
Akuyonyani ngokupheleleyo ukuba bonke abantu basetyhini bakhetha ukufihla iminqweno yabo kwaye bathintele ekuhloleni isini sabo njengamadoda.
Abanye abantu basetyhini bathetha kakuhle ngalo mbandela. Ngapha koko, ixesha eliguqukayo lenze ukuba abafazi bangoyiki kwaye babe nesibindi.
Uninzi lwabafazi ngokuthe ngcembe bayaphuma kwiingcinga ezisembindini nasekufumaneni ukoneliseka ngaphaya kobudlelwane babo obuzinzileyo.
Nangona kunjalo, kukho abantu ababhinqileyo abathathela ingqalelo isondo njengento eyimfihlo yabucala. Bakhetha ukugcina ubomi babo ngokwesondo ngasemva kwengcango ezivaliweyo. Banyanisekile kunamadoda amaninzi xa kufikwa kubudlelwane kwaye bonwabela isondo kunye neqabane elinye.
Kubo, isondo ikakhulu malunga nesixhobo sokubonisa iimvakalelo zokwenyani kwiqabane lakhe kunokuhluthisa ukulamba komzimba wakhe. Ngokungafaniyo namadoda, abasetyhini bayakonwabela ukuphupha, ukukhumbula, kunye nokucinga ngesondo eshushu. Xa ecinga ngokuba kunye neqabane lakhe, inkanuko yakhe yesondo ikwincopho yayo.
Kwabafazi, isondo ikakhulu malunga nokonwabela imvakalelo yokuhlangana kunokuba kufunyaniswe umlilo ongaphakathi oshushu.
Okokugqibela, yiphalaze loo mithintelo kwaye ukhulule iminqweno yakho yesini ngokukhululekileyo
Alithandabuzeki elokuba, luluntu, isithethe sakudala, kunye namapolisa ekuthiwa aziphethe kakuhle anoxanduva lokuthintela abafazi bayo yonke iminyaka.
Kuxhomekeke kwaphela kubafazi ukuba bangathethi esidlangalaleni malunga nobomi babo besondo.
Kodwa, ukuhlala ungakhathali kwiminqweno yakho ngasemva kweengcango ezivaliweyo akulunganga. Ukwabelana ngesondo kubalulekile ukuba unqwenela ukwenza ubudlelwane bakho bube yimpumelelo. Kodwa, kuya kufuneka uvuleleke ngakumbi kwiqabane lakho kwaye uchaze ngokucacileyo iimfuno zakho kunye neminqweno yakho.
Kubalulekile ukuba abafazi benze ixesha lokudibana kunye nokusondelelana ngelixa bekhululekile ekuvakaliseni iimfuno zabo zesondo, kunye namaqabane abo ukuba babe nolwalamano olonwabisayo kunye nolwenza umbane.