Umxholo
- 1. Ukungaziva ngokwaneleyo
- 2. Amaqabane angahambelaniyo
- 3. Umsindo ongasonjululwanga, okanye iimvakalelo ezigqithileyo ezinje ngosizi okanye uloyiko
- 4. Ukungabikho kweendlela zokulwa
- 5. Ukuphazamiseka kokuncamathisela
Isiteyitimenti esilula kodwa esibanzi sokuba akukho mntu uyonwabelayo ingxabano kubudlelwane babo. Kwaye kubudlelwane obuninzi buyinyani. Uninzi luya kukhetha ukugcina ulingano, zihlala zithiya amaxesha esiphithiphithi. Ewe bayazi ukuba ukungqubana kobudlelwane yinto eqhelekileyo kwaye isempilweni (ngokumodareyitha) ukwenzeka. Kodwa kukho abantu abathile abaphumelela kwimpixano kubudlelwane babo-abanakuphila ngaphandle kwayo.
Nangona abantu, okanye izibini eziphumelelayo kwimpixano yobudlelwane, ziya kuba nakho ukuqinisekisa ukuba abafuni la mava, kwaye nabo, baya kuluthanda ulwalamano oluzolileyo. Kubonakala ngathi nokuba bazama kangakanani na, kodwa abanakuyenza loo nto. Ukubangela ukuba baphile ubomi besiphithiphithi, kwaye kwezinye iimeko bazibuze, okanye ubudlelwane babo.
Nazi ezinye zezizathu - ezinye zinokuthi zixhaphake kunezinye, kodwa nangona kunjalo, ukuba ufumana i-buzz, imfihlo, okanye ulonwabo, okanye uhlobo oluthile lokuqinisekisa ukuba uyathandwa kwaye uyaxatyiswa ngenxa yolwalamano lwakho, ke wena Mhlawumbi ndiya kudibana nesinye sezizathu zokuba ukonwabele ukungavisisani kubudlelwane bakho.
1. Ukungaziva ngokwaneleyo
Abanye abantu banokuba nemvakalelo yokuqina yokungalungeli ngokwaneleyo kangangokuba baye baqulunqa isicwangciso sokungazi nto sokutyhalela kude umntu. Bayakufezekisa oku ngovavanyo lwabo ngokuziphatha ngokuchaseneyo, ukutyhala amaqhosha amaqabane abo, okanye ngokonakalisa amava amnandi. Ngokwenza njalo, baqinisekisa ukuba abalunganga ngokwaneleyo.
Rhoqo kuvela kumava obuntwana, ezo ndlela zingancediyo zinokuvela kuhlobo oluthile lokungqubana kobudlelwane okubangelwa ngumona, ukugxeka, okanye ukubangela iimpikiswano nganto.
2. Amaqabane angahambelaniyo
Ewe kunjalo, ezinye iimbambano zobudlelwane zenzeka ngenxa yokuhlangana neqabane elingahambelaniyo, kwaye ngubani okhupha okubi kuthi.
Ezi ntlobo zobudlelwane zinzima kuba ngelixa kunokuba nokubaninzi uthando phakathi kwala maqela mabini, awahambelani kakhulu ekwakheni ubomi kunye. Kwaye kunokuba bhetele xa kuthintelwa ukungqubana okungakumbi kubudlelwane babo ngokuqhubeka. Umzekelo ogqibeleleyo wentetho ethi 'ukuba uthanda umntu, bayeke bahambe'.
3. Umsindo ongasonjululwanga, okanye iimvakalelo ezigqithileyo ezinje ngosizi okanye uloyiko
Izibini ezininzi ezifumana intlungu zisenokukufumanisa kunzima ukuhlala zisondele njengoko zizama ukulungisa usizi lwazo. Okungathandabuzekiyo kubangela ukungavisisani kubudlelwane, kunye nomgama phakathi kwamaqabane omabini kubudlelwane, ukuba kwezinye iimeko kunokuba nzima ukubuya kuwo. Ezinye iimeko zinokubonisa kulwalamano olunzima, apho umsindo ungamandla aqhubayo. Okanye kwimpikiswano eqhutywa ngumgama, kunye nokuzimela, kunokubangelwa kukudakumba.
Ukufuna ukusombulula iimvakalelo ezigqithileyo nezicinezelweyo kuyisombulula ingxaki ngokukhawuleza.
Jonga kwakhona: Yintoni ukungqubana kobudlelwane?
4. Ukungabikho kweendlela zokulwa
Ngamanye amaxesha, asazi ukuba sisingatha njani kwezona meko zilula. Njengokuthi 'kwakutheni ukuze athethe nentombazana engaqhelekanga kuloliwe?'. Ungathethathethana njani ukuba ngubani ojongana neyiphi imisebenzi kubudlelwane. Ungamphatha njani umntwana omtsha kunye nolunye uhlobo olufanayo lwengxaki yobudlelwane.
Ngokwesiqhelo, ingxaki ibakho ngenxa yokuba singakhange sifunde ukusingatha iimeko ezinje ngale yobuntwana bethu, kwaye ubuchule bethu bokuqonda, obusengqiqweni, okanye beemvakalelo bunokungaphuhliseki kwimeko leyo.
Oku kusonjululwa ngokulula, kodwa kuqala ngokwazi ukuba yintoni ebangela ukungavisisani kobudlelwane bakho. Ke ifuna umgudu obonakalayo wokufunda ukusingatha le meko ithile. Kwaye, ewe, iisayithi ezinje ngale, ziyindlela elungileyo yokuqala yokufunda kunye nokuphuhlisa izakhono ezinamandla zokujamelana nobudlelwane.
5. Ukuphazamiseka kokuncamathisela
Ukuphazamiseka kokubambelela kuvela ngenxa yendlela esikhuliswe ngayo njengosana.Ukuba sanikwa iqonga elikhuselekileyo lokufikelela kwaye sihlolisise umhlaba, kwaye zonke iimfuno zethu zalungiswa ngokugqibeleleyo kwaye ngokwendalo ngekhe sibe nolu phazamiso. Kule meko, isitayile sakho sokuncamathisela siya 'kukhuseleka'.
Kodwa ukuba umba othile wokukhulisa kwakho wawungalunganga, ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi ezinje; iimpazamo ezilula zokukhulisa egameni labazali bakho, abanye abantu bafundisa abazali bakho ingqeqesho engancediyo, ukusuka kuxinzelelo lwasemva kokubeleka, ikhaya elingazinzanga eligcwele ungquzulwano, kwaye ke, ukungahoywa kunye nokuxhatshazwa.
Kuxhomekeke kwinto onamava kuyo, ungahlakulela isitayile sokuncamathisela, isitayile sokugxotha, okanye isitayile esoyikisayo.
Ngokwesiqhelo, isitayile esigxothayo nesoyikisayo siya kubangela ukungaziphathi nokuzikhetha kubudlelwane. Uhlobo lokuxhalaba luya kuthi rhoqo lube nolwalamano ngomona kunye nokuzibandakanya kwindlela umntu ahambelana ngayo nomntu onesitayile sokuxhalaba. Kwaye njengoko unokucinga, oku kunokuba sisizathu sokungqubana kobudlelwane. Ezinokudityaniswa ngokulula xa singaqondanga sitsalela isimbo sokubambelela esinye okanye esahlukileyo.
Elona thuba lilungileyo ubudlelwane obunokuba nalo kule meko, ukusombulula ngokwendalo ukuba umntu omnye ukhuselekile kwisitayile sokuncamathisela kunye nokukwazi ukusombulula nakuphi na ukungqubana kobudlelwane okuvela kule meko.