Umxholo
"Ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo yinto yokunxibelelana phakathi kwabantu eyahluka ngokwamandla ukusuka kolunye ulwalamano ukuya kolunye kwaye ihluka ukusuka kwelinye ixesha ukuya kwelinye, kufana nokusondelelana ngokomzimba."
Ukwakha ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kunokuba kubaluleke ngakumbi kunokugcina ukusondelelana ngokomzimba emtshatweni. Ngokwenyani, ubudlelwane ngaphandle kobudlelwane obusondeleyo ngokweemvakalelo buza kuphelelwa buze buphele.
Ke, kutheni le nto nokuba ulwalamano olusenyongweni lubaluleke kangako ekusindeni komtshato, indoda iyakuthintela ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kwaye ikufumanise kunzima ukubandakanyeka ngokwasemoyeni nabafazi babo.
Eli nqaku libelana ngemizekelo yokwenyani yamadoda angakhange afumane amandla kunye nesibindi sokuxoxa ngokusilela kwabo ngokweemvakalelo nabafazi babo, okukhokelele ekuqhawukeni ngokweemvakalelo emtshatweni wabo.
Bukela kwakhona: Iimpawu ezi-7 uyoyika ukusondela.
Imicimbi yokuthandana ngokweemvakalelo yamadoda
Indoda engatshatanga enemicimbi yokusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo iya kuba nezizathu zokuba kutheni ingafuni ukuzibophelela kubudlelwane okanye emtshatweni.
Nangona kunjalo, indoda etshatileyo inoxanduva komnye umntu. Imicimbi yakhe ayisiyiqatshelwa kuba unomfazi omthandayo, othanda, kwaye omjongileyo. Imicimbi yakhe yimicimbi yakhe.
Indoda etshatileyo kunye nendoda engatshatanga inokuba nemicimbi efanayo yeemvakalelo, kodwa ukuba indoda etshatileyo ayisebenzi kwiingxaki zayo, ezo ngxaki zinokuchaphazela ubudlelwane bakhe kwaye ekugqibeleni, nomtshato wakhe.
Imithwalo yobudlelwane bangaphambili, ukwaliwa, amabhongo, kunye nokuqhuba ngesondo esisezantsi zezinye zezona zinto zixhaphakileyo kwiimvakalelo zokusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo emadodeni.
Wonke umntu unokujonga emva kubudlelwane obudlulileyo kunye namava emvakalelo ngokungathi bekuyizolo xa, enyanisweni, amava ayenzeka kwiminyaka eyadlulayo.
Ngelishwa, ukuba ishiywe ingakhange ikhangelwe kwaye ingasombululwa, imicimbi yokuthandana ngokweemvakalelo yamadoda kunye namava amabi aya kuchaphazela ubudlelwane obutsha kakubi.
Amava amabi abuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane obutsha
1. UTimothy uyamthanda umfazi wakhe, uAngela. Uyavuya ukuba akaphelanga nesithandwa sakhe samabanga aphakamileyo esabaleka nomhlobo wakhe osenyongweni.
Kwakubonakala ngathi yayizolo; Wadana kakhulu xa umhlobo wakhe osenyongweni emxelela ukuba ngoku batshatile, kwaye bebengazimiselanga kumvisa ubuhlungu.
Wayengenalo nofifi lokuba babethandana. Ngaba wayelivili lesithathu kwimihla awayecinga ukuba yeyakhe?
Sele kuyiminyaka engamashumi amabini esiqingatha sitshatile; UTimothy akakwazi ukulawula ngokufihlakeleyo ukulandela umfazi wakhe, u-Angela, ukuqinisekisa ukuba uthetha inyani malunga nokuba uphi xa engekho kunye naye.
Ngaba uza kusebenza? Ngaba ngokwenene udibana namantombazana? Wayejongeka elungile kule ntsasa ukuya evenkileni. Ngaba uzama ukudibana nomnye umntu? Ezi ayizizo iingcinga ezilungileyo.
UTimoti uyazi ukuba ubudlelwane babo bungangcono kakhulu ukuba angamvumela amthembe.
Uhlala emxelela ukuba uziva ngathi akazinikelanga kuye ngokupheleleyo yonke le minyaka. Ukuba ubanjwe elandela u-Angela, uyazi ukuba baya kuba nomlo omkhulu.
Imitshato emininzi ichithakele ngenxa yemicimbi yokuthembana kunye nomona. UTimothy akasazi ukuba kutheni evumela ixesha elidlulileyo ukuba limenzakalise ngaloo ndlela.
Ucinga ukuba ayizukukhathaza ukubona umntu oqeqeshiweyo, kodwa ephindaphinda, uyehluleka ukuthatha amanyathelo afanelekileyo ukuze aphumelele kuloyiko.
2. UMichael uyamthanda umfazi wakhe, uCindy, kodwa banemicimbi yokulala kuba uziva engonelanga kukonwabisa umfazi wakhe. Woyika ukwaliwa ngokweemvakalelo emtshatweni.
Ngenye imini, uCindy wayeka ukubeka ingxelo malunga "nobungakanani ayinangxaki" kuba uyamthanda. UMichael akazange azi ukuba uCindy wayemchonge njengobukhulu "ayinamsebenzi into yomntu."
Ngaba wayezenzela lonke eli xesha? Mva nje, kunzima kuye ukuba abe nolwalamano olusenyongweni naye kuba uhlala ezibuza ukuba uyafikelela na.
UMichael akakwazi ukuyiphelisa ingcinga yokuba angonelanga kuye, ke ngoko wenza izizathu zokuphepha lonke ulwalamano, imvakalelo kunye nomzimba.
Waziva esengozini kwaye wayezibuza ukuba angamenzakalisa nini ngeengcinga zakhe.
Wayeziva ukuba ukuthembela emtshatweni wabo kusemngciphekweni, kwaye nangona amaxesha amaninzi, evakalelwa ngathi wenza okuninzi kakhulu, kodwa akanako ukuzizisa ukuba agqithe uloyiko lwakhe olonakalisa umtshato wakhe.
3. UJimmy uqeqeshela iNdebe yeHlabathi yoMdlalo wamanqindi obunzima. Uyamthanda umfazi wakhe, uSandra.
Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, uzibona ekuthintela ukusondelelana naye kuba isini sikhupha amandla akhe xa eqeqeshwa.
Ukwabelana ngesondo akuvumelekanga ngexesha loqeqesho iiveki ezintandathu. Uyazi ukuba uyayiqonda kodwa akonwabanga ngayo. Nje ukuba aphumelele, uyazi ukuba kuya kufaneleka.
UJimmy uyaqonda ukuba amabhongo akhe amenza ukuba aphephe ukusondelelana ngokwasemzimbeni nenkosikazi yakhe, kwaye ukungakwazi kwakhe ukuxoxa elubala ngalo mbandela kuthintela unxibelelwano lwabo lweemvakalelo.
Ukuba akaphumeleli, uza kuphuma emdlalweni kuba umtshato wakhe uthetha lukhulu. Kwelinye icala, ukuba uyaphumelela kwaye uqhubeke nezinto azenzayo, kuya kufuneka babenendlela yokuqinisa unxibelelwano lwabo lweemvakalelo.
4. UJack, otshatele kuVicky, uyazi ukuba kufuneka abonane nogqirha malunga nesondo lakhe eliphantsi kodwa akakwazi ukuzizisa ukuba ayenze.
Okwangoku, uVicky unyanzelisa ukuba afumane uncedo. Wenza amadinga kodwa uyarhoxisa xa ilixesha lokuhamba. Akakaze abe nesondo esiphakamileyo kodwa wayengazi ukuba yingxaki de watshata.
UVicky ngumfazi omhle kwaye kufanelekile ukoneliseka ngumyeni wakhe, kwaye uJack uyakhunjuzwa ngale nto kaninzi, emenza ukuba aphephe kuphela ukuthandana ngokwasemzimbeni kodwa ngokweemvakalelo nenkosikazi yakhe.
Lilonke, Imiba evela kubudlelwane obudlulileyo, ngakumbi ukuthembana kunye nomona, inokuchaphazela ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane okanye emtshatweni.
Ukongeza, amabhongo kunye nokuqhuba ngesondo esisezantsi yimicimbi ebangela ukuba amadoda aphephe ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo nabatshati.
Ke, ungayinceda njani indoda ngemicimbi yokusondelelana? Konke kuqala ngonxibelelwano.
Unxibelelwano ngundoqo ekusombululeni iingxaki zokusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo emtshatweni. Nokuba oko kuthetha ukuba ngamanye amaxesha, isibini kufuneka siphume ngaphandle komtshato siye kumntu esisithulu okanye kwingcali ukuze sifumane uncedo abaludingayo.