Umxholo
- 1. Iingcebiso ziya kuphucula unxibelelwano
- Inokukunceda ukuba usebenze kumava abuhlungu
- 3. Intuthuzelo ngomtshato ilungile ekumiseleni iinjongo
- 4. Ungafunda ukuba nobuhlobo obusondeleyo neqabane lakho
- 5. Ababini bafuna "ubushushu bomtshato" babo
Ukuqala kwakho ukutshata, ngethemba ngaphambi kokuba utshate, ubhalisele iiseshoni zokucebisa ngaphambi komtshato. Izibini ezitshatileyo zingazonwabela izibonelelo zokucebisa ngomtshato kwaye zifumane ukuqonda okungcono malunga nendlela ubomi bomtshato obufanele ukuba bube ngayo, kumqeqeshi onamava womtshato.
Ngapha koko, kukho izizathu ezininzi zokuba kutheni iyinto eluncedo kubantu abatshatileyo ukuba bayenze. Inokukunceda ukuba ubuqonde ngcono ubungakanani bokuzibophelela oza kukwenza. Kananjalo, iingcebiso ngezithandani zinokubonelela ngezixhobo ezithile ekufuneka uzilungiselele ikamva.
Ukongeza, inokukunceda wena kunye neqabane lakho ukuba niphonononge imiba enje ngolawulo lwemali, ukukhulisa abantwana, kunye nendlela yokulinganisa ubudlelwane bakho nabazali bakho.
Ngamafutshane, ukucebisa ngaphambi komtshato okanye ukucetyiswa kwabantu abatshatileyo ngaphambi komtshato yindlela yokwenza ukuba kube lula ukwenza ubomi obulula emtshatweni.
Nangona kunjalo, impazamo enye uninzi lwabantu abatshatileyo abathanda ukuyenza kukucinga ukuba emva komtshato, ukucetyiswa akusafuneki; ngaphandle kokuba bakwingxaki enkulu kwaye / okanye bacinga ngoqhawulo-mtshato, akukho sidingo sakubonana nomcebisi ngemitshato.
Kodwa inyani kukuba ukucebisa ngomtshato kukwaluncedo nasemva kokuba nonwabile emtshatweni. Yindlela yokuhlala isebenze ngomtshato wakho kunokuba esebenzayo kwiingxaki ezinokuvela ngaphakathi kuyo.
Ukuba utshatile okwangoku, kodwa awuzange uye kwiseshoni yokucebisa ngomtshato ngaphambili, nazi izizathu ezintlanu (ezinye) okanye izibonelelo zokucebisa ngomtshato ukukunceda uqonde ukuba kutheni ingagqibela ngokuba lolona tyalo mali lubalaseleyo yenza kubudlelwane bakho neqabane lakho.
Usebenza kangakanani umntu ocebisa ngomtshato?
1. Iingcebiso ziya kuphucula unxibelelwano
Nangona uninzi lwabantu lusenokucinga ukuba ukungathembeki okanye iingxaki zezezimali zezona zinto zikhokelela kuqhawulo mtshato, kukho izifundo ezibonisa ukuba esona sizathu sikhulu kunxibelelwano olubi phakathi kwamaqabane.
Xa izibini zingaziniki ixesha lokumamelana, ziveze iimvakalelo zazo ngendlela ecacileyo, kwaye zibonise intlonipho ngeemvakalelo zamaqabane abo, ekuhambeni kwexesha, oko kungakhokelela kwingqumbo enokubangela ukuba zonke iindonga zinyuke.
Umcebisi womtshato uqeqeshelwe indlela yokubonelela ngezakhono eziza kukunceda wena kunye neqabane lakho ukuba nidibane ngokwenyani ngendlela eya kuthi ekugqibeleni isondelelanise nina nobabini.
Kodwa, ukucebisa ngobuhlobo kubandakanya ukuba bobabini amaqabane kufuneka anyaniseke ngexesha leseshoni, kungenjalo ngekhe uzonwabele ngokwenyani izibonelelo zomtshato.
Inokukunceda ukuba usebenze kumava abuhlungu
Ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kuba kuhle ukuba abantu abatshatileyo abenzanga iimpazamo.
Kodwa kuba wonke umntu ungumntu, kunokubakho amaxesha apho izinto ezenzakalisayo zisenzeka. Kunokubakho ukuthandana (ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngokweemvakalelo). Kunokubakho uhlobo oluthile lokusebenzisa gwenxa iziyobisi okanye utywala. Okanye, kunokubakho olunye uhlobo lweziyobisi, ezinje nge-porn, ukungcakaza okanye ukutya.
Nokuba ungaba yintoni umceli mngeni, ngamaxesha obumnyama emtshatweni, kunokuba sisiqinisekiso sokuba nomlamli ofanelekileyo. Umntu onokubonisa wena kunye neqabane lakho indlela yokusinda kula maxesha anzima.
Esi sesinye sezizathu zokucinga ngokuya kwiingcebiso zomtshato ngaphambi komtshato ukuze uhlale uzilungiselele okanye uzisebenzise izibonelelo zonyango lwezibini xa kuvela iingxaki emva komtshato.
Iyacetyiswa Ikhosi yangaphambi komtshato
3. Intuthuzelo ngomtshato ilungile ekumiseleni iinjongo
Uyayazi intetho ethi: "Ukusilela ekucwangciseni, cwangcisa ukusilela." Xa abantu ababini betshatile, kubalulekile ukuba bathathe ixesha lokucinga malunga nezinto abafuna ukuzenza njengeqela.
Ngaba uyafuna ukuthenga indlu? Ngaba uyafuna ukuhamba ngaphezulu? Mhlawumbi nobabini nicinga ukuqala ishishini kunye.
Ekuqaleni, usenokungacingi ukuba ingcebiso yomtshato sisimo esifanelekileyo sokuba nezi ntlobo zeencoko. Kodwa isizathu sokuba kube luncedo kakhulu kukuba abacebisi baqeqeshelwe ukubuza imibuzo ethile. Kwaye baqeqeshelwe ukubonelela ngemibono ethile eya kuthi ikhokelele wena nezakho kwisisombululo esona silungileyo.
Ke, uyazibuza ukuba uza kuya nini na kwiingcebiso zomtshato? Ngokufanelekileyo, eli lixesha elifanelekileyo lokutyelela umqeqeshi womtshato kufutshane nawe kwaye ufumane uncedo kwizibonelelo ezingachazwanga zokucebisa ngomtshato.
4. Ungafunda ukuba nobuhlobo obusondeleyo neqabane lakho
Ngaba ukululekwa ngomtshato kuyasebenza? Njengoko bekutshiwo ngaphambili, izibonelelo zokucebisa ngomtshato azinamda. Kodwa kukho iimeko apho kuphela ngumcebisi onamava onokukukhokelela kwindlela elungileyo.
Makhe sibone ukuba njani!
Sonke siyazi ukuba isondo kubalulekile emtshatweni. Kodwa, nasiphi na isibini esitshatileyo ngaphezulu kweminyaka emihlanu okanye siyakuxelela ukuba isini siyatshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha.
Umzimba wakho uhamba ngotshintsho. Ishedyuli yakho iba yerhafu ngakumbi. Imfuno zemihla ngemihla zomsebenzi, abantwana kunye neminye imisebenzi inokufumana indlela. Ngapha koko, kukho malunga neepesenti ezingama-20 zabantu abatshatileyo ngaphakathi eUnited States kuphela abatshatileyo ngaphandle komtshato (balala ngesondo kali-10 okanye amaxesha ambalwa ngonyaka).
Khange ubhalisele iqabane lakho ukuba lihlale nalo. Baya kuba liqabane lakho lobomi, umhlobo kunye nesithandwa sakho. Ukuba unemicimbi xa kufikwa kubudlelwane, le yenye yeendawo apho umcebisi womtshato anokuba luncedo khona.
Banokunika iingcebiso zokukunceda ubuyisele ubomi bakho bothando kumkhondo.
5. Ababini bafuna "ubushushu bomtshato" babo
Ke, kuthekani ukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo emtshatweni wakho? Ukuba kunjalo ngenene, okokuqala, ukuvuyisana! Kwaye uyazi ntoni? Enye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokuqinisekisa ukuba ihlala ihleli kukujonga umcebisi womtshato kanye okanye kabini ngonyaka ukonwabela izibonelelo zokucebisa ngomtshato.
Banokuvavanya ukuba ngaba nayiphi na imimandla inokukhokelela kwimicimbi yendlela. Kwaye banokucebisa ngendlela yokwenza umanyano lwakho lube ngcono.
Ewe, abantu abatshatileyo kufuneka bafumane iingcebiso ngaphambi komtshato. Kodwa ukuba uye wema kude neengcebiso ngaphambi komtshato, kufuneka uqonde ukuba ungalufumana nini na ululeko ngomtshato.
Endaweni yokuzibuza, ‘ingaba ingcebiso ngomtshato iyasebenza nyani,’ umntu makazame ukonwabela izibonelelo zokufumana iingcebiso emva komtshato. Ngapha koko, utshatile; kufanelekile ukuba ube nexesha, umzamo kunye nemali ukuze ungene kwiiseshoni zokucebisa ngomtshato!
Akuyi kuwonakalisa umtshato wakho; Endaweni yoko, uya kufumana umbono omtsha malunga nobomi emva komtshato, ngokupheleleyo. Yiya ke!