Umxholo
- Ufanele ulinde ixesha elingakanani ngaphambi kokuba ulale ngesondo?
- Ngaba isondo ngomhla wokuqala lukhetho olufanelekileyo?
- Ixesha elifanelekileyo lokulala ngesondo emva kokuba ndidibene?
Uninzi lwezibini ezitsha zisenokuzibuza lo mbuzo: nini ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuqala ukulala ngesondo kubudlelwane?
Indoda nomfazi kunye kubudlelwane ngaphandle kwesondo yingcinga engenakuqondakala, kodwa lide kangakanani ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuhlangana okokuqala ukuba kwenzeke?
Nangona isenokuba ngumbuzo onenkohliso, impendulo ilula ngokwaneleyo, kwaye ngolwazi esiza kwabelana ngalo nawe kweli nqaku, uya kunikwa ukuphela kwayo njengesikhokelo esikhokelela ekusombululeni le ngxaki indala.
Ufanele ulinde ixesha elingakanani ngaphambi kokuba ulale ngesondo?
Xa lo mbandela uvela, uninzi lwamadoda awukhathali kangako ngawo. Iyasebenza, nangona kunjalo, ibambe ukubaluleka kwayo kubo xa kufikwa kwixesha elibekiweyo; umzekelo, ukuba isondo senzeka kwakamsinya (ngomhla wokuqala), amanye amadoda anokuwagweba amaqabane abo njengamampunge.
Kwabafazi abathile, Ukwabelana ngesondo ngokukhawuleza isenokubonakala ngathi yingcinga elungileyo, kodwa abanye bakhetha ukuyilinda ixesha elide de bafumane "umzuzu ogqibeleleyo."
Uninzi lwabasetyhini bafumanisa ukuba "isini" siyinto efanayo "nothando", kwaye musa ukwehlisa izithintelo zabo kubudlelwane obusondeleyo ngokulula.
Ukuba sibuthuntu, enyanisweni, akukho mzuzu ugqibeleleyo, kuba konke kuya kukhetho lomntu kunye nemeko. Abanye banokuba nomtsalane ngakumbi kukoneliseka ngokwesondo kwaye abanye banokukhangela uthando.
Nokuba yeyiphi imeko, masithethe ngakumbi ngesondo ngomhla wokuqala.
Ngaba isondo ngomhla wokuqala lukhetho olufanelekileyo?
Njengokuba besesitshilo ngaphambili, Kufuneka ulinde ixesha elingakanani ukulala ngesondo ngumbandela ozikhethele wona kunye nemeko.
Ukuba neentlobano zesini kwakamsinya ayisiyombono imbi, kuba ungadibana nomntu oqonda kuye ukusuka kumzuzu wokuqala ukuba unemagnethi enamandla, eyenzeka emzimbeni phakathi kwenu nobabini.
Ufanele ukulala nini okanye nini ulungile ukuba ube neentlobano zesini imibuzo ephendulwa emva kokuqala kokuqala: ufuna ntoni?
Ukuba ujonge ukonwaba, yiya nokuhamba; kodwa, ukuba ujonge into ebaluleke ngakumbi kwindalo kwaye uqhagamshele komnye umntu, thatha ixesha lakho udlale amakhadi akho.
Ixesha elifanelekileyo lokulala ngesondo emva kokuba ndidibene?
Kufuneka uye nini ngesondo? Ewe, uninzi lwabantu luhamba nomgaqo wemihla emithathu. Ithetha ntoni le nto? Ewe, umthetho uthi umhla wesithathu ngumtsalane onethamsanqa njengexesha elifanelekileyo xa ulala ngesondo.
Ukuba neentlobano zesini kunye nesoka lakho nentombi yakho kungekudala akuthethi ukuba ulula okanye unqwenela. Ekugqibeleni uza kugqiba ukwenza le nto, kutheni ungayihambi kwangoko?
Ukuba ukusondelelana kulibazisekile ixesha elithile, iqabane lakho linokuphulukana nomdla kuwe, okanye liqale ukuziva ngathi kutheni le nto isenzeka. Ke, Kude kube nini ukulinda ngaphambi kwesondo?
Kulula kakhulu ukuzisa isondo kwimeko yokwakha ubudlelwane kunye nomntu, kodwa abanye abantu basetyhini bakhetha ukungcungcuthekisa amaqabane abo ngokuwavavanya kuvavanyo lweenyanga ezintathu okanye ezine!
Oku kuyaqondakala, ngandlela thile, malunga nokuba uza kuthatha ixesha elingakanani ngaphambi kokuba ulale nomntu obhinqileyo, kuba ukuba indoda inokunyamezela kuvavanyo lwelo xesha, ngokucacileyo iyathandana naye, kwaye iyamxabisa kwezinye iimbono ngaphandle kwesondo umnqweno.
Ukwabelana ngesondo nomntu omthandayo sesinye sezona zipho zixabisekileyo umntu anokuvuzwa ngazo ebomini, kwaye ukuba neentlobano zesini kunye nesoka lakho okanye intombi yakho emva kokuthandana ixesha elide kungangqina ukuba ngamava abukhali.
Liliphi ixesha elifanelekileyo lokwabelana ngesondo kwaye kufuneka ulinde ixesha elingakanani ngaphambi kwesondo kwaye, ekugqibeleni, iimpendulo oya kuthi ufumane impendulo ngazo mzuzu ulungileyo?
Iinyanga ezintathu ukuya kwezine kukude kangakanani ukuthandana ngaphambi kwesondo ukuba uzimisele ngomntu kwaye ufuna ukumvavanya, kwaye ukulala nomntu omthandayo, njengokulala nomntu othandana naye okanye intombi yakho, ngamava awodwa.
Ukwabelana ngesondo sisixhobo, kwaye umntu ngamnye kuthi angasisebenzisa ngokwenjongo yakhe. Konke kuxhomekeke kwinto oyifunayo kunye nokukhangela.