Umxholo
- Ngaba iba ngcono?
- 1.Cima bonke abafowunelwa
- 2. Yamkela iimvakalelo zakho
- 3. Yamkele inyaniso
- 4. Zihloniphe
- 5. Yithi hayi kwimbuyekezo
- Ukulungisa intliziyo yakho eyaphukileyo
Xa sithandana, asizilungiseleli ukusingatha ukwahlukana kuba sithandana ngokuqinisekileyo kwaye siyavuya. Imvakalelo yokufumana "omnye" iyavuya kwaye akukho magama okuchaza indlela uthando kunye nolonwabo olungayigcwalisa ngayo intliziyo yakho kodwa kwenzeka ntoni xa uvuka ephupheni kwaye uqaphela ukuba umntu omthandayo ayingoye "lowo" kwaye Asishiywanga nje ngentliziyo eyaphukileyo kodwa ngamaphupha awaphukileyo kunye nezithembiso?
Sigqibile kule nto kwaye into yokuqala ekufuneka siyibuze kukuba singayilungisa njani intliziyo yethu eyaphukileyo? Ngaba siyayazi ngenene ukuba masenze ntoni emva koqhawulo-mtshato?
Ngaba iba ngcono?
Omnye wemibuzo esiza kuyibuza yona "ingaba izakuba ngcono?" Inyaniso kukuba, sonke sifumene isabelo sobuhlungu bentliziyo kwaye sifuna nje ukwazi eyona ndlela ifanelekileyo yokwenza emva kokwahlukana okungalunganga.
Xa ujongene nokwahlukana okungalunganga, into yokuqala oza kuyiva kukungavumi kunye nokothuka kuba inyani yile; Akukho mntu ukulungeleyo ukuba buhlungu. Ngokwenene uziva ngathi umntu ugwaza intliziyo yakho kwaye inokuba sesinye sezizathu zokuba ukwaphuka kwentliziyo lixesha eligqibeleleyo kwinto esinokuziva ngayo.
Siqala phi xa umntu omnye ebesimthembile kangaka ezophule iintliziyo zethu kwaye uqala ukuva amazwi abuhlungu aphuma kubo?
Ufuna iingcebiso malunga nokwenza emva kokwahlukana kwabafana okanye amantombazana? U "qhubekela phambili" njani kwaye uqala phi? Ngaba ucima uthando lwakho xa uqaphela ukuba lonke olo thando, izithembiso, kunye namazwi amnandi ebengathethi nto?
Emva kwentliziyo-ewe, izinto ziya ziba ngcono kodwa ungalindeli ukuba zingangcono ngephanyazo.
Uthando lwakho lwaluyinyani kwaye lwaluyinyani ukuze ulindele ukuba uzakufuna ixesha lokuphilisa kwaye ngelixa kusenzeka, kukho izinto ekufuneka sizikhumbule ngokupheleleyo. Kufuneka siyazi ngentloko le nto ukuze sazi ukuba masenze ntoni emva koqhawulo-mtshato.
Yintoni omele uyenze emva kokuhlukana
1.Cima bonke abafowunelwa
Ewe oko kulungile. Ngokuqinisekileyo ungatsho ukuba ayizukusebenza kuba uyazi inombolo yabo yefowuni ngentliziyo kodwa iyanceda. Ngapha koko, linyathelo elinye ekubuyiseni kwakho. Ngelixa ulapho, ungasusa nantoni na eya kukukhumbuza ngobukho babo. Ayikrakra, iyaqhubeka.
Xa uziva unomdla wokuthetha okanye ubuncinci bokuvalwa kwaye ulingeka ukuba ufowunele okokugqibela- musa.
Endaweni yokuba ubize umhlobo wakho osenyongweni, udadewenu okanye umnakwenu - nabani na omaziyo anokukunceda okanye ajike nje ingqalelo yakho. Musa nje ukunxibelelana nesidala sakho.
2. Yamkela iimvakalelo zakho
Kufuneka wenze ntoni emva kokuba wohlukene nesoka okanye intombi? Ewe, vumela iimvakalelo zakho ungabikho kwi-ex yakho ungakhe uzame ukubabiza. Khala, khwaza okanye ufumane ibhegi yokubetha kwaye uyibethe kanzima kangangoko unakho.
Kutheni unokubuza?
Ewe, kungenxa yokuba iimvakalelo zakho zibuhlungu kwaye ukuba uyikhuphe yonke, iya kukunceda.
Eyona mpazamo ixhaphakileyo siyenzayo kukufihla iintlungu kwaye loo nto yenza mandundu.
Kutheni le nto kufuneka uyenze kwasekuqaleni? Ke, kufuneka wenze ntoni emva koqhawulo-mtshato?
Zivise iintlungu- mamela iingoma zothando ezibuhlungu, khala, bhala zonke iimvakalelo zakho ephepheni uze uzitshise. Khwaza, bhala igama labo ulifake kwingxowa yokuhluza kwaye ulibethe ngokungathi ukwindawo yemidlalo yamanqindi. Lilonke, mayikhuphe yonke kwaye uyijongise intlungu ngoku.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Indlela Yokumelana Nokwahlukana
3. Yamkele inyaniso
Siyazi ukuba iphelile akunjalo? Siyayazi le nto ngaphakathi kweentliziyo zethu, kutheni ke kufuneka sibambelele kwizithembiso zabo? Kutheni unika izizathu zokuba yenzekile? Kwenzekile kuba yenzekile kwaye i-ex yakho ibinezizathu zabo kwaye bayasithemba, bayawazi kakuhle umonakalo.
Yamkele into yokuba iphelile ngoku kwaye endaweni yokwenza izicwangciso zokuba uzuze njani umlingane wakho wangaphambili; yenza izicwangciso malunga nendlela onokuqhubeka ngayo.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Ufumana njani umntu omthandayo
4. Zihloniphe
Yintoni ongayenzanga emva koqhawulo-mtshato? Sukucenga umntu wakho wakudala ukuba acinge kwakhona okanye ubacele ukuba baphinde bazame. Zihloniphe.
Nokuba kunzima kangakanani, nokuba kubuhlungu kangakanani, nokuba awunayo into evaliweyo, kufuneka uzihlonele ungaceli umntu ongasakufuniyo.
Ingabonakala inzima kodwa iyinyani ekufuneka uyivile. Ufanelwe ngaphezulu koku - yazi ixabiso lakho.
5. Yithi hayi kwimbuyekezo
Abanye banokucebisa ukuba uzifumanele omnye umntu wokulibala kodwa uyazi ukuba oku akulunganga kwikota nganye.
Uyazi ukuba awungaphezulu kwe-ex yakho, ke uya kuba usebenzisa lo mntu ubuyileyo kwaye uya kugqiba ukubenzakalisa ngendlela efanayo owonzakele ngayo.
Awufuni ukuyenza loo nto andithi?
Ukulungisa intliziyo yakho eyaphukileyo
Ukulungisa intliziyo eyaphukileyo akukho lula. Udinga lonke uncedo onokulufumana kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, olona tshaba lubi yintliziyo yakho. Ngamanye amaxesha iba yinto enganyamezeleki ngakumbi xa iinkumbulo zibuya okanye wakube ubona umntu wakho wangaphambili onwabile nomnye umntu. Yinto eqhelekileyo ukuziva unomsindo, uqaqanjelwa kwaye unenzondo.
Singabantu kwaye siziva iintlungu kwaye akukho mntu ubalayo ukuba ungachacha ngokukhawuleza kangakanani-ke fumana kwakhona ngexesha lakho kwaye wamkele yonke into kancinci.
Sukuziva ngathi ubuthathaka xa ulila kwaye ungabi nosizi xa uziva ulilolo. Khumbula ukuba kukho abantu abakuthandayo kwaye baya kukuxhasa.
Ngaphandle kwaleyo, vumela nje intliziyo yakho ukuba ilungise.
Ukwazi ukuba wenzeni emva koqhawulo-mtshato kulula kodwa ukwenza lo ngumceli mngeni wokwenyani kodwa okoko nje uyazi into ekufuneka uyenzile kwaye unabantu obathandayo kunye nabahlobo bakho ukuba babe lapha kuwe. Uya kuba nayo yonke into oyifunayo ukuze uqhubeke kwaye uqale ubomi obutsha.