Ingcali Roundup-Kwenzeka Ntoni Ekucebiseni ngomtshato

Umxholo

• Iimpawu zokucebisa ngomtshato
• Ukujikeleza ingcali ngokwenzekayo kwiingcebiso zomtshato
• Okokugqibela kususwe

Iimpawu zokucebisa ngomtshato

Ukuba umtshato wakho uphantsi kwamanzi angcolileyo, lixesha lokuba nidibane kwaye nithathe ixesha kwishedyuli enixakekile kwaye nijolise ekujonganeni neenkxalabo zomtshato.

Ukucebisa ngomtshato kungasebenza njengeqonga elihle kakhulu lokujongana nemiba ehlasela umtshato wakho.

Ikwaxhobisa ukuba nifumane into enivumelana ngayo ngeli lixa nihlala ninoxanduva kwaye nembeko omnye komnye ngoncedo lweengcali zemitshato.

Ukuba uziva ukuba ufikelele kwisiphelo sokufuna ukwakha umtshato owonwabisayo, ingcebiso ngomtshato ingangoyena ndoqo wokulamla ukujongana neengxaki kunye nokusombulula iingxaki ezikhoyo emtshatweni wakho kwaye uphucule ubudlelwane bakho.

Ukucebisa ngomtshato kunokunika isibini izixhobo ezifanelekileyo ukuqala ukuphucula unxibelelwano lomtshato.

Ikwanceda izibini ekusebenziseni ezi zixhobo kwaye zithathe indawo yemikhwa emidala, engenampilo kunye nemikhwa esempilweni ehamba indlela ende ekusombululeni ukungaqondani nokusombulula ukungavisisani.

Ukujikeleza ingcali ngokwenzekayo kwiingcebiso zomtshato

UMARIYA KAY COCHARO, LMFT Umtshato kunye neNyanga yoSapho
Ezona zinto zine zibaluleke kakhulu ezenzeka ekucebiseni ngomtshato:

• Ufumana ithemba. Okokugqibela, emva kokuzabalaza wedwa kwaye ujonge iingxaki zakho zisonakala, uncedo lusendleleni!
• Ufumana indawo ekhuselekileyo yokuthetha malunga nezinto ezinzima kunye nomqeqeshi okanye ugqirha oqeqeshelwe ngokukodwa ukukunceda uthethe kwaye umamele ngokunzulu.
• Ufumana ithuba lokusombulula ukungavisisani okuqhubekayo kwaye ungene kwiphepha elinye neqabane lakho.
• Okokugqibela, kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, uyalwenza nzulu unxibelelwano lwakho olusondeleyo.

Ingcebiso ngomtshato ikunika indawo ekhuselekileyo yokuthetha ngezinto ezinzima

UDAVID MCFADDEN, LMFT, LCPC, MSMFT, DMIN Umtshato kunye neNyanga yoSapho

• Unethuba lokuthetha ngezinto ezikukhathazayo.
• Unethuba lokumanyelwa.
• Iqabane lakho lingazenza zombini ezi zinto zingasentla.
• Abanyangi abalungileyo baya kusompempe banikhusele nobabini.
• Abanyangi abalungileyo balungisa unxibelelwano olungaqondakaliyo.
• Uya kufumana izixhobo / izikhokelo ukulungisa ubudlelwane bakho.

Ingcali elungileyo iya kusompempe kwaye ikhusele omabini amaqabane

IRAFI BILEK, LCSWC UMcebisi
Nazi ezinye zezinto oza kuzifunda ekucebiseni ngomtshato:

• Unokuthetha njani ngezihloko ezinzima ngaphandle kokuba ujika ube ziimpikiswano.
• Unganyuka njani xa izinto zishushu.
• Into eniyenzayo neqabane lakho ukuze nenze enye nenye nendlela yokuyiphepha.
• Iindlela zonxibelelwano neqabane lakho ngeendlela oya kuthi uve ngazo.

Uya kuchonga izinto ezikhokelela kwimpikiswano kwaye ufunde iindlela zokuphepha. Tweet oku

AMY WOHL, LMSW, CPT UMcebisi
Ukuqwalaselwa kwendlela onxibelelana ngayo. Ngaba uyathetha usuka "Mna ingxelo"? Kuba ndiziva ndivumela indawo ekhuselekileyo yokuba iqabane live elinye iqabane. 'Wena "awukhuselekanga; ibeka ityala, ihlazo, kunye nokunganaki kwelinye.

Ukufunda ukuba kubaluleke kangakanani ukuxabisa ngamazwi nokubonga kubalulekile ekwabelaneni nabanye.

Ukuqonda ukuba "ityala, iintloni, kunye nokungakhathali" kunxibelelwano lonakalisa ubudlelwane kunye nendlela eyonakalisa ngayo le ndlela yonxibelelwano ekubeni neqabane lingaziva "likhuselekile" emtshatweni.

Ususa isidingo sokuba "ulungile." Unokuba ulungile, okanye unokuba kubudlelwane. Uyabona ukuba akunamveliso ukujonga kaninzi kwisipili esingasemva. Khangela phambili kwizinto ezininzi ezintle kwaye ufunde kwixesha elidlulileyo.

Uya kuhlakulela umkhwa wokuxabisa ngamazwi nokubonga yonke imihla

UJULIE BINDEMAN, PSY-DIphe Ingcali yengqondo
Kwenzeka ntoni kwingcebiso ngomtshato? Ngokwesiqhelo nolu luhlu lufutshane lwento endiyibonileyo:

• Amathuba
• Ukuvulelana omnye nomnye kunye neembono ezintsha
• Umdibaniso
• Ukuqonda
• Intlungu
• Uthando

Wakha ukuvulelana omnye nomnye kunye neembono ezintsha ngelixa uqinisa unxibelelwano

GERALD SCHOENEWOLF, PH.D. Ingqondo yengqondo
Unxibelelwano olwakhayo ngundoqo. Zonke izibini ziqala ngokucebisana ngomtshato ngendlela eyonakalisayo. Unxibelelwano olwakhayo ngabantu abatshatileyo abathembekileyo kwiziqu zabo nakumaqabane abo. Injongo kukusombulula iimbambano ngokuthatha uxanduva kunye nokwenza uhlengahlengiso olufunekayo ukufezekisa uxolo. Yenza uthando hayi imfazwe.

Uya kubenza ubugcisa bonxibelelwano olwakhayo. Tweet oku

UESTER LERMAN, UMFT UMcebisi
Iindlela ezininzi ezahlukeneyo zonyango lwezibini! Nantsi indlela endihlala ndiyenza:

• Xoxa ngembali yobudlelwane.
• Xoxa ngembali yengxaki yokubonisa.
• Jonga ukuba yintoni "imithwalo" nganye ezisa kulwalamano.
• Oku kuqala eyona nkqubo ibaluleke kakhulu yonyango: Ukuphuhlisa uvelwano omnye komnye.
• Ukuququzelela iincoko ezinyanisekileyo, ezingasoli sisebenzisa izakhono zonxibelelwano ezisisiseko.
• Ukujonga indlela ephindaphindayo yokunxibelelana okungalunganga kunye nendlela yokuyiphazamisa.
• Ukuba izinto ziye zaphucuka, kwaye isibini siziva silungile, unyango luyifezile injongo yalo.

Uyakuziqonda iipatheni eziphindaphindayo zonxibelelwano olubi. Tweet oku

EDDIE CAPPARUCCI, MA, LPC UMcebisi
Ndicinga ngokucebisa ngomtshato njengenkqubo yokuba izibini zikhulise ukuqonda ngakumbi malunga nomnye. Inceda abantu abatshatileyo ukuba baqonde indlela ocinga ngayo, ulindelo, iminqweno, iimfuno kunye neendlela zonxibelelwano ezahlukeneyo. Kwaye akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokwahluka. Kodwa xa sisiqonda ngcono isizathu sokuba iqabane lethu lenze into ethile, lisenza sikwazi ukuba novelwano, umonde kunye nokuqonda okungcono.

Uya kuphuhlisa ukuqonda ngakumbi komnye nomnye

IKAVITHA GOLDOWITZ, MA, LMFT Ingcali yengqondo

Kwenzeka ntoni ekucebiseni ngomtshato?

• Nika indawo ekhuselekileyo yokujonga iinjongo zeqabane ngalinye kulwalamano
• Bhiyozela iindawo zamandla kunye nokuzithemba
• Chonga ukungqubana okunamandla kunye nokuxinana kubudlelwane
• Qonda iimfuno kunye nokwenzakala kweqabane ngalinye
• Funda iindlela ezintsha zokunxibelelana neminqweno kunye noloyiko
• Funda ngendlela yokusebenza njengeqela ukunqanda imigibe efanayo
• Yenza amasiko amatsha oxhulumaniso
• Bhiyozela inkqubela phambili kunye nokukhula kubudlelwane

Uya kuqalisa ukubhiyozela iindawo zomelele kunye nokonwaba

UKERRIANNE BROWN, uLMHC UMcebisi
Ukucebisa ngomtshato kunokunceda ekuguquleni ngokwenyani ubudlelwane busuka kobo buzaliswe kukukhathazeka kunye nokudelelwa bube bobonelisayo, bothando, kwaye buqhagamshelene ngokunzulu. Nazi ezinye izinto ezenzekayo ekucebiseni ngomtshato:

• Ingcali yonyango isebenza ukwakha umanyano namaqabane omabini kunye nokuseka iinjongo ezicacileyo zokunceda esi sibini sifezekise iziphumo zabo ekuvunyelwene ngazo.
• Indawo ekhuselekileyo yenziwa apho omabini amaqabane aziva eviwa kwaye angagwetywa. Ayisiyo indima yonyango ukukhetha amacala.
• Umgqirha usebenza njengesikhokelo ekubancedeni ukuba bahambe kwiindlela zokuziphatha ezibagcina bebambelele kwiindlela zokuziphatha ezikhuthaza ukusondela, ukusondelana kunye nokuzaliseka okukhulu

Umgqirha usebenza ekwakheni ubudlelwane kunye namaqabane omabini

UGqr DORI GATTER, PSYD UMcebisi
Abantu abaninzi bayoyika ukucetyiswa ngemitshato kuba becinga ukuba ngandlel 'ithile bayakugxekwa benziwe ukuba "babi" okanye ngoyena uneengxaki kubudlelwane. Ukucebisa kakuhle ngomtshato kuthetha ukuba akukho bantu babi okanye umntu omnye onazo zonke iingxaki. Akukho zingelosi kwaye akukho ziDemon ekucebiseni ngomtshato. I-ajenda ekucebiseni ngomtshato yile: Uyaqonda ukuba azikho iingelosi kwaye akukho ziDemon ekucebiseni ngomtshato.

• Ingaba niyazana kangakanani okanye niyazana kangakanani? Umntu ngamnye kufuneka aziqonde yena kunye neqabane lakhe ngcono kwaye akhe ukuqonda malunga nokuba wena neqabane lakho nisebenza kwaye nisebenza njani kubudlelwane. Ngokudibeneyo uya kwenza umbono owabelwanayo wobudlelwane bakho.
• Ngaba ulwa kangakanani? Ukusonjululwa kwembambano.

Sifuna isicwangciso sabantu abatshatileyo malunga nokuba bazakuza njani kwaye basombulule ukungavisisani ngendlela efanelekileyo nefanelekileyo. Kuhlala kukho umntu omnye othanda ukuthetha ngayo yonke into kunye nomntu omnye othintela ukungqubana, kwaye ekucebiseni, kufuneka sijongane kwaye senze ukuba iqabane ngalinye likhululeke ngesicwangciso sendlela yokusombulula ukungavisisani.

• Ukufunda indlela yokukhathalelana kunye nokufumana iimfuno zakho ezifanayo.

Ngaba uyazi ukuba iqabane lakho lifuna ntoni kwaye lifuna ntoni kuwe? Ugqibele nini ukubuza? Sikhalaza kakhulu ngento esingayifumaniyo, ke ekucebiseni ngomtshato, sikufundisa ukuba ungazichaza njani ngokucacileyo iimfuno zakho kunye nezicelo zakho kunokuba ukhalaze kwaye ubeke ityala.

• Sithetha ngabaphuli bezinto. Zonke izibini zinee-breakers ezifana nokuqhatha, ukuthembana, indlela yokuphatha usapho okanye imali. Sithetha ngayo yonke into kwaye sifumanisa ukuba iphi na imida yeqabane lakho kunye neesivumelwano malunga nokuzama ukuxoxa, ke iqabane ngalinye liziva likhuselekile kwaye liviwa.
• Ukuphilisa iintlungu ezindala.

Sonke siza emtshatweni kunye neentlungu zakudala ezivela kwangaphambi kokuba sidibane neqabane lethu, kwaye sihlala sihlangabezana nezinye iintlungu kubudlelwane. Kwingcebiso ngomtshato, sihlela ukuba zeziphi iintlungu kwaye sisebenze ekuphiliseni zonke iintlungu zakudala nakubudlelwane njengoko bunxibelelene.

Ukucebisa ngomtshato kusebenza ekunyangeni konke okubuhlungu okudlulileyo nakulwalamano

MICHELLE SCHARLOP, MS, LMFT Umtshato kunye neNyanga yoSapho
Ukucebisa ngomtshato lixesha elibekelwe bucala ukuba ligxile kwaye libeke phambili kuwe, kwiqabane lakho, nakubudlelwane bakho. Umntu ngamnye wabelana ngombono wakhe malunga nezinto ezenzekayo emtshatweni kunye nezinto abanqwenela ukuba umtshato wabo ubonakale ngoku nakwixesha elizayo. Ingcali yonyango ikhokela esi sibini kwincoko, kwimisebenzi, kunye nokuzilolonga ukuze esi sibini sikwazi ukufikelela kwiinjongo zaso. Izibini ezininzi ziyasokola kunxibelelwano. Ngoba? Kuba asimamelanga ukuqonda, endaweni yoko, simamele ukukhusela. Ekucebiseni ngomtshato, esi sibini siya kufunda indlela eyahlukileyo yokunxibelelana. Esi sibini siya kuqala ukumamela ukuva, ukuva ngokwenyani, ukuqonda, kunye nokuqinisekisa. Xa uvelwano luziswa kwincoko, unxibelelwano lubonakala lwahlukile.

Ingcali yonyango ikhokela esi sibini ukuba sihlangabezane neenjongo zesibini

IXESHA R SEARS, MS, OMC UMcebisi
Inkqubo yokunikwa kwengcebiso yahlukile kwisibini ngasinye. Nangona kunjalo ndinomgaqo oqhelekileyo endiwulandelayo kwisibini ngasinye endisibonayo. "Iplani" iyafana kuba iinjongo eziphambili ziyafana. Ezi njongo kukuseka ukhuseleko, unxibelelwano kunye nenkolelo yokuba amaqabane abo anomdla kubo. Ukuba ezi azikho kwisiseko somtshato wabo, akukho zixhobo baziphuhlisayo ziya kusebenza. Le “Blueprint” ibandakanya oku kulandelayo:

• Ukuthatha uxanduva lomntu siqu ngeengcinga zabo, izenzo, isimo sengqondo kunye neemvakalelo.
• Ukuchonga uloyiko lwabo olucaphukisayo ngexesha lengxabano.
• Ukufumanisa kunye nokwabelana "ngamabala amdaka" kunye neendawo zokulimala.
• Ukuqonda nokuhamba kwinkqubo yoxolelo lokwenene.
• Ukukhanyisa umjikelo wentshabalalo wokunxibelelana okwahlukileyo kubo kunye nendima yabo ekubangeleni nasekuqhubekeni kwalo mjikelo kunye nendlela yokuwunqanda.
• Ukufunda malunga ne "bids" kunye ne "cues" yokuzibandakanya - indlela yokuziqonda nokuziphendula.
• Ukuphuhlisa izakhono zokuphendula ngokukhawuleza kumaxesha okusika.
• Ukuphuhlisa ukuqonda okungcono kwendlela "yokupakisha" uthando kumaqabane abo ngendlela eya kwenza ukuba kube lula ukufumana.

Uchonga uloyiko olusisiseko olucaphukisa ngexesha lengxabano

UMICHELLE UVULE, MFT Ingcali yengqondo
Umntu ngamnye wabelana ngombono wakhe ngokubhekisele kwinto enzima njengabantu abatshatileyo. Umntu ngamnye uyakhuthazwa ukuba abelane nabanye ngeendlela abanokuthi zibe negalelo kuzo naziphi na iipateni zoxinzelelo. Umgqirha ujonga esi sibini, kwaye umntu ngamnye unxibelelana.

Unikwa ukuqonda kunye nezixhobo zokukunceda ukufikelela kwiinjongo zakho zobudlelwane. Tweet oku

UMARCIE SCRANTON, LMFT Ingcali yengqondo
Isethingi yonyango yindawo ekhuselekileyo yokunyaniseka kubudlelwane bakho neqabane lakho. Xa sichaza iimvakalelo kunye neentsingiselo eziphantsi kweempikiswano, izibini zinokudlula ekuphumeleleni-kuphulukana namandla kwaye zibuyele kwindawo yovelwano, inkathalo kunye nenkxaso. Kunyango lwezibini, sifunda ukuqonda iimvakalelo eziyinyani, ezingathethwanga kwaye sifumane inkxaso ekuzivakaliseni. Ukusuka apho, siphuhlisa iindlela zokujongana nazo

• Okulindelweyo kunye neenjongo
• Ezezimali nasekhaya
• Ukunxibelelana neyantlukwano
• Ukuhambahamba kwiintsapho
• Ukusombulula iingxabano
• Ukuba ngumzali
• Ukusondelelana

Uyazibona iimvakalelo eziyinyani, ezingathethwayo kwaye ufumana inkxaso ekuzivakaliseni. Tweet oku

Okokugqibela kususwe

Ukucebisa ngomtshato kuphonononga oko kwenza ukuba ngamnye wenu ahluke njengabantu ngabanye, indlela enxibelelana ngayo njengabantu abatshatileyo, kunye nendlela imeko ebanzi yosapho, abahlobo kunye nomsebenzi onempembelelo ngayo kubudlelwane bakho.

Eyona ndlela yokuhlangabezana nezithintelo kwindlela eya kukonwaba emtshatweni nokomeleza umtshato wakho, kukufuna iingcebiso zomcebisi womtshato.