Umxholo
- 1. Ukubakho kwiimfuno zabo zeemvakalelo
- 2. Ukunxibelelana ngentlonipho
- 3. Ukuchukumisa okungaphezulu komzimba
- 4. Bekani umtshato wenu kwindawo yokuqala
- 5. Khupha isixhobo
Ayenzeki ngobusuku obunye. Kufana nenkqubo ende, ecothayo, ecekeceke kangangokuba ungayiqondi ukuba iyenzeka. Kodwa ngenye imini, uvuka, kwaye ukho: ukhona uziva unqanyuliwe kubudlelwane bakho.
Kufika ixesha kuwo wonke umtshato apho unxibelelwano olomeleleyo oziva ngalo kwiqabane lakho lubonakala linciphile, okanye lungekho kwaphela. Kwenzeka njani oku? Kwaye, okona kubaluleke kakhulu, zeziphi ezinye iindlela zokudibanisa kwakhona neqabane lakho?
Ubonakala njani ukwahluka ngokwasemphefumlweni?
Ukuziva umgama kubudlelwane kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Ihlala ikwimo: umsebenzi wakho uthatha ixesha lakho elininzi kwaye ugxile, okanye abantwana babeka ibango koovimba bakho beemvakalelo ukuze kungabikho nto incinci iqabane lakho.
Yonke imitshato iya kuba namava okuhla kwaye iqukuqele kwiimvakalelo zonxibelelwano iqabane ngalinye liziva lisiya kwelinye, ngamaxesha okuziva kunxibelelwano olugqithisileyo ukuya kumaxesha apho uziva unqongophele kunxibelelwano lweemvakalelo kulwalamano.
Kubalulekile ukugcina umkhondo wokuqhawulwa kweemvakalelo emtshatweni kuba awufuni ukuba imvakalelo yokunqanyulwa kwiqabane lakho ukuba nzulu kwaye uthathe ingcambu. Thatha inyathelo ngaphambi kokuba yenzeke, kwaye kuya kuba lula kuyo xhuma kwakhona nomyeni wakho.
Unganxibelelana njani kwakhona neqabane lakho
Libala izijekulo ezikhulu zosasazwa yimidiya: uthando alukho malunga nezipho ezibizayo kunye neentyatyambo zeeveki ezibomvu zeeroses. Ixesha elide izibini ziyazi ukuba unxibelelwano lokwenyani, oluhlala luhleli lwakhiwe kwimizuzwana encinci kodwa rhoqo yothando lokwenene.
Ezi zihlandlo zisondeleyo, zemihla ngemihla zibalulekile ekudaleni (nasekuvuseleleni) unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo apho ubudlelwane obonwabileyo nobusempilweni bukhula khona.
Iindlela ezincinci zokunxibelelana kwakhona kunye neqabane elinefuthe elikhulu
Uzilibele zonke izinto ezincinci obuzenza kwasekuqaleni emtshatweni wakho ukunxibelelana nomyeni wakho? Makhe sijonge ezinye zezi:
1. Ukubakho kwiimfuno zabo zeemvakalelo
Ithetha ntoni le nto? Kuthetha ukuba xa iqabane lakho liza kuwe linengxaki, uyamngena, kwaye umamele. Umnika ingqalelo yakho epheleleyo.
Awuyijongi ifowuni yakho ngelixa usithi, “Uh-hum. Kunene. Qhubeleka." Uguqula umzimba wakho ubonise kuye ukuba utyale imali kule nto ayithethayo. Uziva evile. Kwaye oku kucaphukisa imvakalelo yonxibelelwano ngokweemvakalelo. Okonyusa nokwandisa ubudlelwane bakho bothando.
2. Ukunxibelelana ngentlonipho
Ukunxibelelana kwakhona neqabane lakho kufuna ukunxibelelana ngentlonelo. Mhlawumbi ngaphezulu kweminyaka yomtshato wakho, uqokelele umsindo ngenxa yento iqabane lakho elityeshela ukuyenza, ngokuqhubekayo.
Mhlawumbi veki nganye, kuya kufuneka umkhumbuze ukuba asebenzise ukurisayikilisha kwakhona kumanqwanqwa. Umcele ukuba enze oku veki nganye, ke isicelo sakho siyaphuma, "Ungakhe ukhumbule ukukhupha ukuphinda kusetyenziswe kwakhona?"
Isicelo esenziwe ngale ndlela sinokubangela inzondo kunye nokuqhawuka phakathi kwakho. Kodwa ukwenza izicelo ngentlonipho kuya kukuvuza ngeendlela ezimbini: kunokwenzeka ukuba ufumane umyeni wakho akunike isicelo ngaphandle kwengxabano okanye umsindo, kwaye uyakube unceda ukwakha unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo.
Ezinye iindlela zokunxibelelana kwakhona neqabane
Yinto eqhelekileyo kumtshato wexesha elide ukulibala ukwazisa kunye nokubulela iqabane lethu ngezinto zemihla ngemihla abazenzayo ukugcina izinto zihamba kakuhle kubudlelwane. Ke ungathini malunga nokuhoya "enkosi" kunye nezincomo?
Ezi ziindlela ezifudumeleyo zokunxibelelana kwakhona neqabane lakho. "Enkosi kakhulu ngokukothula esi sixhobo sokuhlambela izitya ngale ntsasa," kunenza niziva kamnandi nobabini. "Ndiyayithanda indlela onceda ngayo umsebenzi wasekhaya wabantwana," ibonisa umyeni wakho uyalivuma igalelo lakhe ekukhuliseni abantwana kwaye uyamkhuthaza ukuba aqhubeke.
Ezi zizinto ezincinci ezingabizi mali, kodwa hamba indlela ende ekomelezeni unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo nendoda.
3. Ukuchukumisa okungaphezulu komzimba
Ukuwola, ukwanga, isandla kumqolo ongezantsi, ukuthambeka kwegxalaba. Ukunxibelelana ngokwasemzimbeni kuhamba ixesha elide ekuphuculeni unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo.
4. Bekani umtshato wenu kwindawo yokuqala
Beka, ufuna ukubeka phambili umtshato wakho ngaphezu kwayo yonke enye into. Oku akuthethi ukuba awubahoyanga abantwana.
Kuthetha ukuba unxibelelwano lwakho lothando, ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo, sisiseko apho usapho lwakho lonwabe lwakhiwe. Thatha ixesha lobusuku bomhla, ukuhenda, kunye nokwabelana ngesondo. Oku kuya kugcina unxibelelwano lwakho lweemvakalelo lomelele kwaye ludlamkile
5. Khupha isixhobo
Sonke singamakhoboka ee-smartphones zethu, iNetflix, iipodcast zethu. Oku kuyabuchaphazela ubuso nobuso kunxibelelwano neqabane lethu. Xa ufika ekhaya ngokuhlwa, vula iplagi yakho. Ngaphandle kwezikrini zethu, sinokubakho ngakumbi omnye nomnye.
Ndiziva ndinqanyuliwe kumyeni wam. Ngaba ndimele ndikhathazeke?
Ukuba uhamba ngelinye lala maxesha apho uziva ukuba uxhulumaniso lweemvakalelo emtshatweni wakho alukho, ungaqala ngokuzibuza imibuzo ethile:
- Ngaba kukho into eyenzekayo emsebenzini ethatha ubungakanani bebhendi yam yeemvakalelo?
- Ngaba ndinengxaki yokulungelelanisa iimfuno zabantwana bam kunye neemfuno zomyeni wam?
- Ndiqumbele umyeni wam, ukuba kunjalo, zithini izizathu?
- Kude kube nini le mvakalelo yokunqanyulwa kumlingane wam iqhubeka?
Ngoku ukuba uzibuze imibuzo ethile, kungaluncedo ukuhlala phantsi neqabane lakho nibuze ukuba baziva njani. Ngaba nabo, baziva beqhawulwe kubudlelwane? Nikela ixesha elithile kule ncoko; fumana umzuzu ozolileyo apho kungekho namnye kuni ophazamisekileyo.
Misela inqanaba lengxoxo ethembekileyo ngomtshato wakho. Bhukisha umntu ogcina umntwana uphume. Rhoqo ukuthatha ixesha lokuthetha ngokusuka entliziyweni omnye nomnye kwanele qala ukudibanisa kwakhona nomyeni wakho.