Umxholo
- Kuthetha ntoni ukuthembeka kubudlelwane?
- Iindlela ezili-10 zokuba ngumntu othembekileyo
- 1. Unxibelelwano olunenjongo nolwazelelelo
- 2. Khetha ukuthanda iqabane lakho yonke imihla
- 3. Yenza imida kubudlelwane bakho
- 4. Yiba selubala
- 5. Fundani kwaye niziqhelanise iilwimi zothando omnye komnye
- 6.Ungavumeli ubudlelwane bakho bube ngumthombo wolonwabo lwakho
- 7. Jongana nemiceli mngeni endaweni yokuphepha
- 8. Wonge umzuzu ngamnye neqabane lakho
- Thatha uxanduva ngezenzo zakho
- 10. Xabisa ubudlelwane bakho
- Isiphelo
Ungasabela uthini xa ufumanisa ukuba iqabane lakho belizenza ngathi lingengabo? Kwabanye abantu, kuya kwaphula iintliziyo zabo ukufunda ukuba bebekwi-equation engafezekisi amaphupha abo okukhulisa ubudlelwane bokwenyani.
Esinye sezizathu zokuba kutheni abantu bebeka ingxelo yabo ekhethiweyo ngaphambi kokungena kubudlelwane kungenxa yokuba boyika ukuba amaqabane abo akazukubamkela. Umbono wokunyaniseka kuwe kubudlelwane unokuvakala woyikisa, kodwa wakha ukusondelelana kunye nothando lokwenene.
Ulwalamano oluchanekileyo luyilwe ukuze lume ukuvavanywa kwexesha kuba omabini amaqabane akulungele ukwabelana ngamacala abo alungileyo, amabi kunye namabi ngokwawo ngaphandle koloyiko okanye ukuthanda.
Kuthetha ntoni ukuthembeka kubudlelwane?
Ukunyaniseka kubudlelwane kwenzeka xa omabini amaqela ethembekile kwaye enyanisekile omnye komnye. Omabini amaqabane ayaqonda ukuba akukho mntu ugqibeleleyo, kodwa bakulungele ukwamkela iimpazamo zomnye nomnye kwaye bafumane iziqhamo kunye nolungelelwaniso oluqinisekileyo.
Okubaluleke ngakumbi, uphononongo lubonisa ukuba ubunyani kubudlelwane yenye yeendlela zokuphuhlisa umanyano lokwenene phakathi kwamaqabane amabini. Ngapha koko, ubudlelwane bokwenyani abunaloyiko nokungazithembi kuba omabini amaqabane ayathandana ngentliziyo iphela, kwanaxa benxibelelana nokuba sesichengeni.
Iindlela ezili-10 zokuba ngumntu othembekileyo
Ukubonisa ukunyaniseka yinto ebalulekileyo yobudlelwane. Ukuba unyanisekile kuwe kubudlelwane kunye neqabane lakho lilandela ngokufanelekileyo, iba bubudlelwane obusempilweni, obomeleleyo nobunyanisekileyo.
Ukuphuhlisa olu phawu kunye nokugcina ubudlelwane bokwenyani, Nazi ezinye zeendlela zokuqalisa:
1. Unxibelelwano olunenjongo nolwazelelelo
Ukuzimisela nokuba nolwazelelelo xa unxibelelana kwenza iqabane lakho liqonde ukuba uzikhathalele iimvakalelo zabo. Xa iqabane lakho likhankanya iimfuno zabo kuwe, kubalulekile ukuba ungenzi malunga nawe endaweni yoko. Ulwalamano Umqeqeshi uRichard E. Hellen ubona unxibelelwano ngokuthe ngqo phakathi kokuzimisela kuzo zonke iinkalo zobudlelwane bakho nokuba nomtshato ophumelelayo.
Xa kufikwa kwisenzo sokunyaniseka, ngenjongo, kunye nolwazelelelo, unxibelelwano yenye yeendlela eziphambili zokulinganisa. Kubalulekile ukukhankanya ukuba olu hlobo lonxibelelwano luyindlela-mbini, njengoko kubandakanya ukuthetha, ukumamela, kunye nokuchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni ukuqonda iimbono zomnye umntu.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Ukuphucula unxibelelwano emtshatweni
2. Khetha ukuthanda iqabane lakho yonke imihla
Ukuthanda iqabane lakho kubalulekile ukuze ube ngumntu othembekileyo. Kuyimfuneko ukuba uxele ukuba amaqabane athatha isigqibo sokuthanda ngenkuthalo nangokuqonda ayakwazi ukuba nobudlelwane obuyimpumelelo kunabo bangenalo.
Kuya kunceda ukuba ubucingile kwindlela oziphatha ngayo kwaye uthetha neqabane lakho. Ukuba uxelela iqabane lakho ukuba uyalithanda kwaye ulikhathalele, kufanele ukuba libonakalise kwinto obenzela yona kwaye ubenzele yona. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, izenzo zithetha kakhulu kunamazwi.
Ukukhetha ukuthanda iqabane lakho yonke imihla kuyanceda ukuba ubaphathe njengeyona nto iphambili. Iqabane lakho liya kuziva likhuselekile kuba ubathanda ngabom, kwaye bayayibona kwizenzo zakho. Izenzo zemihla ngemihla zinceda ukwenza unxibelelwano olululo njengoko izibini zifunda ukuthembana.
3. Yenza imida kubudlelwane bakho
Amaqabane kufuneka enze imida kwaye avume ukungawanqamli ukuze anyaniseke kubo. Kukho izinto ongazithandiyo ezinokuba buhlungu kuwe xa iqabane lakho lizenza. Ngaphandle kokuba ulwalamano, unobuntu bakho, kwaye akufuneki ukuba ulalanise.
Kubalulekile ukuseta imida kuba umonakalo omkhulu unokwenziwa kulwalamano xa loo migca iwele. Ukuhlonipha imida kubandakanya ukuhloniphana kunye nokuthembana omnye nomnye kwaye uthathe isigqibo sokungabonakalisi ubudlelwane ngokwenza into uyayazi eyonzakalisa iqabane lakho.
Jonga le vidiyo ukuze ufunde ngakumbi ngokuseta imida kubudlelwane:
4. Yiba selubala
Abantu abaninzi bakufumanisa kunzima ukungafihli nto kubudlelwane kuba abanakuyithwala ingcinga yokuba amaqabane abo azi ezinye iimfihlelo malunga nabo. Ubudlelwane obuchanekileyo bakhelwe elubala kuba omabini la maqela aya kuzinikezela ekwabelaneni ngeemvakalelo, izimvo, kunye nokwenza kwabo ngaphandle kokufihla kwanto.
Ukungafihli nto kwiqabane lakho kubandakanya ukwabelana ngezinto oziva uneentloni ngazo xa usabelana nabanye abantu. Inyani yile, uyakube utyhila ubuthathaka bakho, kodwa ubeka ubunyani ekuhambeni kwexesha.
5. Fundani kwaye niziqhelanise iilwimi zothando omnye komnye
Ngokwincwadi yeNgcali yoBudlelwane uGary Chapman enesihloko esithi Iilwimi Ezintlanu Zothando, zintlanu iindlela ngokubanzi apho abatshatileyo abathandanayo bebonakalisa uthando omnye komnye. Ezi lwimi zihlanu zezi:
- Ukubamba ngokomzimba
- Izenzo zenkonzo
- Ixesha elibalulekile
- Amagama okuvuma
- Ukunika izipho
Ukuze ube nokunyaniseka kubudlelwane, kuya kufuneka ufunde iilwimi zothando lweqabane lakho ngokunyanisekileyo. Ukuba nolu lwazi kukunceda ubathande ngendlela abanqwenela ngayo ukuthandwa. Kwelinye icala, ukuthatha isigqibo sokungazi iilwimi zothando lomlingane wakho kunokucebisa ukuba awunanjongo malunga nokuba ulwalamano lokwenyani.
Zama kwakhona: Loluphi uLwimi lwam loLwimi?
6.Ungavumeli ubudlelwane bakho bube ngumthombo wolonwabo lwakho
Akukho mntu kufuneka anyanzelwe ukuba avumele ubudlelwane babo bube kuphela komthombo wolonwabo lwabo. Ngaphambi kobudlelwane, ufumene uvuyo lwakho ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Kwaye nangona kufuneka wenze uhlengahlengiso kubudlelwane, kubalulekile ukuba ungalahli isazisi sakho.
Ukuphuhlisa ukuthembeka, kuya kufuneka ulungelelanise ubudlelwane bakho kunye nezinye iinkalo zobomi bakho. Inyaniso yile, ubudlelwane bakho kufuneka bube ngomnye wemithombo yolonwabo kwaye hayi ekuphela komthombo. Ngokuzikhathaza ngokuphindaphindiweyo, inzondo kunye nokudelela kunokuqala ukungena kwi-dynamics kunye neqabane lakho.
Kubudlelwane bokwenyani, omabini amaqabane agcina ukuqonda kwabo nangona bethandana, kwaye abayisebenzisi ngobuqhetseba ukuze bahlale bonwabile. Xa usebenza ukufezekisa iinjongo zakho kunye nokuhlakulela umdla wakho, uya kufumana ulonwabo kwinto oyenzayo, kwaye iya kuba luncedo kubudlelwane.
7. Jongana nemiceli mngeni endaweni yokuphepha
Imiceli mngeni ayinakuphepheka, kwaye eyona ndlela yokuphumelela kukoyisa endaweni yokuphepha. Kubudlelwane obuyinyani, imiceli mngeni iyenzeka, kwaye omabini amaqabane anokugqitha kwezi ngxaki kuba bayaqondana ngaphakathi ngaphandle.
Bafikelela kwinqanaba lokuzazi kunye nolwalamano olusenyongweni olubavumela ukuba basombulule nayiphi na ingxaki abajongane nayo ngokulula. Kwaye bayaqonda ukuba ubudlelwane babo buye baba sisixhobo esibalulekileyo ekuncedeni ukukhula kwabo.
8. Wonge umzuzu ngamnye neqabane lakho
Ukuseka unxibelelwano lokwenyani, kuya kufuneka uqaphele kwaye ucwangcise ngobuchule. Kubalulekile ukuchitha ixesha elininzi usabelana ngeenjongo zakho, amabhongo, iimvakalelo kunye neengcinga kunye neqabane lakho. Ixesha lomgangatho kunye linokunceda iqabane lakho ukuba libone oyinyani kwaye liqonde ngcono ukuba ungubani.
Lixabise ixesha elinje kuba liya kungqina amaxesha obudlelwane. Kubudlelwane obuyinyani, omabini amaqabane achitha ixesha elaneleyo lokuba neengxoxo ezinzulu ezibanceda baqonde ngakumbi iqabane labo. Ukongeza, benza ixesha lokonwaba kwaye baphumle kuba libenza babe nolwalamano olungcono.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Imisebenzi yesiBini yokuDibanisa ukomeleza ubudlelwane
Thatha uxanduva ngezenzo zakho
Ulwalamano oluchanekileyo alunakuhlala ukuba uyaqhubeka usola iqabane lakho ngezenzo zakho ezingalunganga. Ngelishwa, abanye abantu baneentloni ekwamkeleni ukhetho lwabo kuba bengafuni ukuhlala neempazamo zabo. Ke, bakhetha ukubeka ityala komnye umntu, becinga ukuba oko kuya kuba yinzuzo kuye.
Ukuba uyaqhubeka nokuthintela uxanduva endaweni yokuzibophelela, awuphuhlisi ubunyani, kwaye ubudlelwane bunokuqhubeka nokubandezeleka. Kubalulekile ukuba utshintshe indlela ocinga ngayo kwaye unyukele kwimeko leyo ngokufumana izisombululo kwaye uxhomekeke kwiqabane lakho ukuze lixhase.
10. Xabisa ubudlelwane bakho
Kuyimfuneko ukukhankanya ukuba ubudlelwane bokwenyani buyimveliso yabatshatileyo ababuxabisileyo ubudlelwane babo kwaye benze konke okusemandleni ukuze kugcinwe kusebenza. Ukwaneliseka kuzala ukungakhathali kunye nokungazithembi kubo nabuphi na ubudlelwane, kwaye ke kufuneka kwenziwe iinzame mihla le ukunqanda loo nto.
Izifundo ezenziwa kwizibini ezitshatileyo kubudlelwane bexesha elide zibonakalise ngokucacileyo unxibelelwano ngokuthe ngqo phakathi kobunyani kubudlelwane kunye nokuncamathiselwa kwezothando, kunye nokunakekelwa kweqabane.
Kuya kufuneka ubudlelane ngezizathu ezifanelekileyo kuba ibeka ubungakanani bexabiso obeka kulo nakumaqabane akho. Ubudlelwane obuyinyani bubonelela ngamathuba okuba wena neqabane lakho nixabisane omnye nomnye ngaphandle kobunzima.
Isiphelo
Musa ukuphulukana nokulala kuba ulwalamano lwakho alukho kwindawo eyiyo ngoku. Ukuqonda ukuba usebenza njani ekusekeni ubudlelwane obuyinyani kwaye buyinyani kunokubonakala kunzima. Kodwa ukuba wena neqabane lakho nizimisele ukubeka umzamo kwaye nilandele amanyathelo akhankanywe apha, nawe unokufika apho.
Qalisa ukusebenza kulwalamano lwakho kunye kwaye ubudlelwane bakho buya kuba ngcono.