Iimpawu ezingama-40 zokuLumkisa ngobuDlelwane obuNobungozi

Umbhali: Louise Ward
Umhla Wokudalwa: 5 Eyomdumba 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 1 Eyekhala 2024
Anonim
Iimpawu ezingama-40 zokuLumkisa ngobuDlelwane obuNobungozi - I-Psychology
Iimpawu ezingama-40 zokuLumkisa ngobuDlelwane obuNobungozi - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Buyintoni ubudlelwane obunetyhefu?

Ngaphambi kokuxoxa ngeempawu zobudlelwane obunetyhefu, masiqale siqonde ukuba buyintoni ubudlelwane obunetyhefu.

Ulwalamano olunetyhefu lulwalamano olubandakanya isimilo kwicala leqabane elinetyhefu elimoshayo ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasemzimbeni okanye eliyingozi kwiqabane lalo.

Oku akuthethi ukuba abantu abanetyhefu kubudlelwane obunetyhefu bayingozi ngokuthe ngqo emzimbeni kwaye basongela ubomi kubomi nakwimpilo yelinye iqabane.

Kodwa inokuba kunjalo elinye iqabane liziva lisoyikeka, lisongelwa, kwaye lisoyika ukwabelana ngezimvo zabo kuba benoloyiko kwaye boyika iimpendulo zomntu onetyhefu.

Iimpawu ze-40 zobudlelwane obunetyhefu

Nazi iimpawu ezilumkisayo zokuba unobudlelwane obunetyhefu.


1. Amandla angalunganga

Kubudlelwane obunetyhefu, Ufumana ixesha elininzi, unomsindo, kwaye unomsindo malunga neqabane lakho, elakha amandla amabi emzimbeni wakho, ezinokuthi kamva zikhokelele ekuzondaneni.

Ukungakhathali kunokukuhambisa kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi bakho. Ukungakhathali kukukhupha engqondweni, ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo. Sinyanzelwe ukuba sijongane noku kungakhathali, kodwa ulwalamano lwakho kufuneka lube sisiphumo kolo hlobo loxinzelelo.

2. Ubonakala ngathi akukho nto uyenzayo eyiyo

Ulwalamano olunetyhefu ukuba awubonakali ngathi wenza into elungileyo, nokuba uzama kangakanani ukuyenza ngokugqibeleleyo.

Umzuzu ofika kuwo apho uziva ngathi yonke into oyenzayo iyabacaphukisa okanye iyabacaphukisa, uziva ungonwabanga ngokwenza izinto ezijikeleze iqabane lakho, kwaye ujikeleza kubudlelwane bakho, kuya kufuneka uqonde ukuba awuyongxaki.

Amaxesha amaninzi, kukho into engonwabanga neqabane lakho, kwaye abayithethanga kuwe. Kude kube banyanisekile ukuba kutheni bekhathazekile kwaye bengonwabanga, akukho nto uyenzayo iya kubonakala ilungile.


Ngaba ubudlelwane obunetyhefu bunokulungiswa? Akukho siqinisekiso; Nangona kunjalo, amathuba anyuka ngokubonakalayo xa umntu ekulungele ukutshintsha.

3. Awonwabanga nje

Sonke siyazi ukuba akunakwenzeka ukonwaba kuwo wonke umzuzu wobudlelwane bakho, kodwa xa iyonke, iqabane lakho kufuneka likwenze wonwabe.

Kuya kufuneka zikwenze uzive uxhaswa, ubandakanyekile, wonwabile, kwaye unakho ukwenza nantoni na ofuna ukuyenza. Kuya kufuneka bakuncede ekwakhiweni ngokutsha kwaye bakunike ithemba lokuba izinto zinokuba ngendlela ocinga ukuba kufanele ukuba ziyiyo, ekwenza wonwabe.

Nje ukuba ungaziva wonwabile malunga neqabane lakho, luphawu lwesilumkiso lokuba usebudlelwaneni obunetyhefu.

4. Yonke into inomdla kakhulu

“Izibini ezininzi ziyaphumelela kwimidlalo ephezulu—Ukukhala, ukutyholwa, izandla namazwi, ”utsho ugqirha wengqondo uScott Haltzman, MD, umbhali wencwadi ethi The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity.


Ngalo lonke ixesha, kubakho impikiswano eshushu, idrama, kunye nokutshintshiselana ngamagama ashushu, nto leyo eyenza ukuba ungonwabi ukuba nazane qho.

Isenokungabi kukuhlaselwa ngokwasemzimbeni; isenokuba kukuziphatha kwabo. Oku kuthathwa njengenye yeempawu zobudlelwane obunetyhefu.

Bukela le vidiyo inengqiqo ngokuphepha umdlalo weqonga ongafunekiyo:

5. Konke ukungavisisani lithuba lokufumana amanqaku

Inkqubo ye- ubudlelwane bamakhadi olwalamano akhula ngokuhamba kwexesha kuba elinye iqabane okanye omabini amaqabane asebenzise ukungalunganga okudlulileyo ukuthethelela ubulungisa bangoku.

Awuphambuki kumcimbi okhoyo ngoku, kodwa uzisa ityala kunye nobukrakra bexesha elidlulileyo lokusebenzisa iqabane lakho ukuba lizive liphosakele nakweyiphi na impikiswano ekhoyo okanye ukungavumelani. Oku kuthathwa njengenye yeempawu zobudlelwane obungenampilo.

6. Awuthethi ngokuya phambili kubudlelwane

Abalingane kufuneka bathethe malunga noku-ayina izinto ezininzi ezibalulekileyo kubudlelwane-hayi ukuba bafumane i-sushi okanye i-pizza xa bethatha okanye banxibe.

Masithi iqabane lakho liyala ukuthetha ngezihloko ezibalulekileyo zobudlelwane, njengokufumana nini umntwana okanye ukuthenga ikhaya okanye nokuba uza kutshata nini. Kwimeko apho, usebudlelwaneni obunetyhefu.

Ukuba kuphela kwento iqabane lakho elithetha ngayo zizikhuthazi ezingayi kukhulisa ukukhula kobudlelwane, ke iqabane lakho likudibanisa ngamatye, ebonisa ukuba unobudlelwane obunetyhefu.

7. Awunxibelelani ngokufanelekileyo

Iqabane elinetyhefu liya kufuna ukuba ufunde ngokuzenzekelayo iingqondo zabo ukuze ufumane oko bakufunayo.

Umlingane onetyhefu uya kulindela ukuba uqikelele xa befuna ukwanga okanye ukuncokola; xa befuna umbala obomvu hayi omhlophe; xa befuna ewe, hayi uhayi.

Olu lolunye lweempawu zobudlelwane obungenampilo obangela uxinzelelo olubalulekileyo ngenxa Imfuno engagungqiyo yokulindela kunye nokwenza uqikelelo oluchanekileyo.

8. Uqala ukuphulukana nabahlobo

Ulwalamano olunetyhefu luyakungcolisa.

Ngelixa usazama ukuqonda kwaye ulungise okungalunganga kubudlelwane bakho obunetyhefu, abahlobo bakho baxakekile bezibuza ukuba yintoni engalunganga kuwe.

Ukuba ulwalamano lwakho luyakutshintsha, kuya kukwenza ube luhlobo olungcono lokuba ungubani.

Ukuba uziva ngathi ulahlekelwa nguwe kunye nabahlobo bakho okanye awusazazi ukuba ungubani na, luphawu lwesilumkiso sobudlelwane obunetyhefu.

Ukuba ujonga le miqondiso ingentla kubudlelwane bakho, ubudlelwane bakho bunetyhefu, kwaye bunokuba yingozi kuwe ngokwasemoyeni, emzimbeni nasengqondweni.

9. Akukho mbuyiselo okanye ulungelelwano kubudlelwane

Ukuze ukuphindaphinda kusebenze, omabini amaqabane kufuneka asebenzisane kwaye aqonde kwaye amkele ukuxhomekeka kubudlelwane.

Ukuphindaphinda akusayi kusebenza kubudlelwane apho elinye iqabane likholelwa ukuba liphezulu okanye lilawula.

Iqabane elikhuphisana kakhulu liya kuba nengxaki yokuqonda kunye nokudala ukuphindaphinda. Khangela ezinye iimpawu zomtshato onetyhefu ngokunjalo.

10. Ukugxekwa rhoqo

UJohn Gottman uchonge ukugxekwa njengesiqhelo sobudlelwane obunetyhefu kunye nesalathiso sokuqala soqhawulo mtshato okanye ukwahlukana. Oku, ewe, oko akuthethi ukuba uza kwamkela zonke iimpawu kunye nemikhwa yeqabane lakho, leyo oyibona imbi.

Ujoliso kwindlela ezi zikhalazo zivakaliswa ngayo.

Ukuba iqabane lakho lisoloko likugxeka endaweni yokucinga ngendlela yokusebenzisana, thetha nalo, ucebise ngenye indlela.

Bacele ukuba bakhumbule indlela abathetha ngayo nawe.

Endaweni yokuthi: “Uhlala ushiya ubumdaka, ekufuneka ndiyicoce emva. U-sloppy, uyonqena kwaye awukhathali. ”, Buza ukuba bangabambela endaweni ka“Ingathetha lukhulu kum ukuba unokucoca wakugqiba. Ndingayenza le nto / ndiyenza ukusukela esiphelweni sam. ”

Xa uqaphela lo mqondiso, cinga ngokuzibuza ukuba uza kuphuma nini kwaye njani kubudlelwane obunetyhefu ngaphambi kokuba ukuzithemba kwakho kutshatyalaliswe ngenxa yegalelo elininzi elibi.

11. Umoya wobutshaba

Ubundlobongela, ngandlela thile, buqhelekile kuninzi lwethu.

Inokuvela kwenye indawo, hayi intsebenziswano kuphela. Uxinzelelo, iingxaki emsebenzini, imiba enomntwana, iingxaki zemali kunye nezempilo zinokuba zizinto zangaphandle ezichaphazela amaqabane ukubonisa umsindo komnye.

Nje ukuba inyuke, kunokuba ngumceli mngeni ukuxolelana, ukusombulula imbambano, kunye nokudlulela phambili.

Kubudlelwane obunetyhefu, amaqabane awawusingathi lo mbandela okanye awufihle ngesivumelwano somphezulu. Oku kubangela inzondo ngakumbi kunye nokwanda kobutshaba.

Ubundlobongela buhlala apho, bulinde ukuqhuma, kubangele imeko yemfazwe ebandayo kunye nomtshato onetyhefu.

12. Ukunqongophala kokuthembeka

Ukunyaniseka ngumqolo wokuzinza kobudlelwane.

Ukufika emva kwexesha kwizifundo, ukungaphenduli kwiminxeba kunye neetekisi zezinye zeendlela zokuziphatha ezicaphukisayo. Ezinye iindlela zokuziphatha zinokukhokelela kwimvakalelo yokungakwazi ukuxhomekeka kwiqabane lakho konke konke.

Iqabane elingathembekanga liyakukukhwaza, lingavumi ukuthetha, kwaye liphume ngaphandle kwegumbi, likushiye uhlangabezana nemvakalelo yokulahlwa.

Ukungathembeki kunokuzibonakalisa ngohlobo lokungaqiniseki nako. Ukungazi ukuba iqabane lakho liza kusabela njani kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo kuyakwenza ukuba ufune ukuzikhusela nokuzikhusela.

Jonga ubuntu obunetyhefu obunokukwenza uzive uwedwa kunye neqabane kunokuba ungatshatanga.

13. Ukuphepha kunye nokucaphukisa

Rhoqo, Ukungabikho konxibelelwano olusebenzayo kukhokelela kukucaphuka kunye nokuphepha. Xa ungayazi indlela yokubeka izinto ngamagama, kulula kakhulu ukungahoyi isihloko okanye iqabane.

Ukungabikho konxibelelwano olusebenzayo kunokukwenza ukuba ucinge ukuba iqabane lakho alifuni ukuqonda ukuba uhlangabezana nantoni na.

Ngapha koko, oku kungakhokelela kukucaphuka okwakha ngokuthe ngcembe kwinzondo. Ke, ulungisa njani ubudlelwane obunetyhefu?

Inyathelo elinye ngexesha! Qala ngonxibelelwano oluhlala luyenye yezona zinto zibalulekileyo ezinegalelo kulwaneliseko emtshatweni.

14. Ukunqongophala kwenkxaso

Ngokufanelekileyo, esinye sezona zibonelelo zibalulekileyo zokuba kubudlelwane kukuyonwabela inkxaso yeqabane lakho.

Olo hlobo lwenkxaso alunakufunyanwa naphina, njengoko izihlobo, usapho, kunye noogxa bakho bengenakusondela kuwe njengeqabane lakho. Iqabane lakho liya kukuvuyisa xa uphantsi, umamele iingxaki zakho, kwaye ubonelele ngokwasemzimbeni kunye nokuthuthuzela ngokweemvakalelo.

Le yinxalenye ebaluleke kakhulu kubo nabuphi na ubudlelwane obuphilileyo. Ulahlekile kakhulu ukuba iqabane lakho alisenovelwano kwaye awuziva ungazityand 'igila okanye ubhenele kuncedo.

Ukuba oku kuhambe ixesha elide kwaye kungekho tshintsho lwenzekileyo, le meko inokukwenza ucinge ukuba ayikufanelanga inkxaso nenkathalo.

15. Ukuziva ungaphantsi

Abantu abanotyekelo lokuziphatha kakubi bakholelwa ukuba bangaphezulu kwabanye kwaye bahlala belahla ngokupheleleyo iimvakalelo zabanye abantu.

Xa ukunye ne-narcissist, kunokuba ngathi ulwalamano lubaluleke kakhulu kwicala elinye.

Emva kokubonakaliswa kokuzithemba kunye nokugqwesa, ii-narcissists zinomngcipheko wokuzithemba kunye nokuzigxeka kwiziphumo ezigwenxa nezingazinzanga.

Ukuba uhlala uzifumanisa uneentloni ekwabeni nayiphi na ingxelo engalunganga, unokuba kubudlelwane obungenampilo.

Ukuziva ungafaneleki

Ukuba iqabane lakho likwenza uzive ngathi kufuneka uthule kwaye uvumeleke ngelixa uhlala ubeka iimfuno zabo kuqala - unobudlelwane obunobungozi.

Xa iimfuno zethu kunye neminqweno yethu ingakhathalelwanga ixesha elide, siqala ukuziva ngathi asinalungelo lokufuna kwaphela.

Xa uhlala ixesha elide kakhulu kubudlelwane obunetyhefu, uqala ukuzibuza ukuba ufanelekile ngakumbi kwaye nokuba ulifanelekile uthando. Mhlawumbi ubambelele kolu lwalamano, ucinga ukuba akekho omnye umntu oya kufuna ukuba nawe.

Cinga kwakhona!

Esi sisiphumo kuphela sokuhluthwa kunye nokujongelwa phantsi ngumntu oneembono ezibaluleke kakhulu kuwe. Ungabushiya njani ubudlelwane obunetyhefu?

Cinga emva kokuba wawunjani phambi kobu budlelwane kwaye ungaphela njani ucinga ngawe kwiminyaka emihlanu ukusukela ngoku.

17. Ukubanjiswa kobudlelwane

Kwiimeko ezininzi, imvakalelo yokungena kubudlelwane kungenxa ye- ukuxhomekeka phakathi kwamaqabane. Mhlawumbi omnye wenu unengxaki kwezonyango kwaye uxhomekeke komnye?

Ukucinga ngokushiya kunokubangela ityala elininzi eligcina sithimbe kubudlelwane.

Mhlawumbi uzibona ubotshelelwe kunye emalini. Abanye abantu bakhetha ukuhlala kubambiswano olungathandekiyo kunokuba baphulukane nayo yonke imali. Xa sihlala kuphela kuzinzo lwezezimali, sinokuziva ngathi inkululeko yethu ibiwe kunye nesazisi.

18. Iimvakalelo ezinganyanisekanga

Ukunyaniseka yenye yeentsika zobudlelwane obusempilweni.

Ngaphandle kothando olungenamiqathango nolokwenene, ubudlelwane baba lurhwebo.

Izinto ziba nemeko- andinako ukukunika ngaphandle kokuba undinike into ngembuyekezo. Intsebenziswano iba ngumanyano lwezoqoqosho lwabantu ababini abajonge ukufumana iimfuno zabo kuqala.

19. Ukungalingani kokuzimela

Xa amaqabane exinezeleke kakhulu ngenxa yoloyiko lokuphulukana nenye ebalulekileyo, banokufuna inkululeko yabo.

Ngamanye amaxesha, akukho luvo lokuba ngokwakho ngelixa uhlala nomntu, okanye uziva ukuba ukubaluleka kwakho kuxhomekeke ekubeni kunye nabo. Ezi inokuba ziimpawu zokuzimela, ukungalingani, kunye nokuxhomekeka kwikhowudi kubudlelwane. Oku kunokuziva ngathi uhlala usilwela ukuphefumla inkululeko okanye ngokuqhubekayo ucela umanyano ngakumbi.

Oku kungalingani kukhokelela ukungoneliseki okuqokeleleka kwinqanaba lokuqhuma.

20. Ukwamkelwa kwemigangatho eyayikade ingamkelekanga

Utshintsho kunye nokulalanisa kwenzeka kulo nabuphi na ubudlelwane.

Nangona kunjalo, xa isanda, kwaye silalanisa kwiinqobo ezisemgangathweni kunye neenkolelo zethu, siba ngumntu esingamthandiyo okanye esimazi esipilini.

Olu tshintsho kunokuba sisisombululo okanye ukukhuselwa kwiqabane elikuhlukumezayo esisilelayo okanye elile ukwamkela oko.

Ukukhanyela ukuba sibe ngumntu oza kuba kunye neqabane elixhaphazayo kusibamba ekuthetheni ngaphandle nasekuqhubekeni.

Ukuba ayinguye lo mntu ukunye neqabane elinobundlobongela, ukuxhatshazwa akwenzeki. Ukuba iyenzeka, kufuneka siyamkele inyani engathandekiyo malunga nathi nokhetho lwethu, olunokuba lusizi njengokuxhatshazwa ngokwako.

21. Ukukhupha okona kubi omnye komnye

Olunye lweempawu zobudlelwane obunetyhefu kukhupha okona kubi komnye nomnye kwaye kungabi nakho ukugqitha.

Ngaba uyakuqaphela ukulahleka komsindo okanye ukugxeka rhoqo xa ujikeleze omnye nomnye ngelixa ukwazi ukuba nomonde kubasebenzi kunye nabahlobo?

Ngaba sele uqale ukungamthandi umntu onguye xa ukunye neqabane lakho?

Ukuba awukwazi ukubabona abantu osele unguye, kwaye akukho nto iyaphucuka, mhlawumbi lixesha lokuba uzibuze, "Zeziphi ezinye iindlela ezikhoyo"?

Ukucebisa ngokuqinisekileyo sisisombululo esinokubakho. Inokukunceda usombulule ingxaki okanye ukhanyise ukuba awulunganga.

Nokuba yeyiphi indlela, uya kuba nomfanekiso ocacileyo kunye nezikhokelo ezingcono zenyathelo.

22. Ungaze ufikelele kulindelo lwabo

Ngaba iqabane lakho lisebenzisa ixesha lokuzithemba okuphantsi kwaye lisebenzisa amathuba ukukujongela phantsi, iinzame zakho, ukubukeka kunye nempumelelo?

Ngaba uxinzelelo lweqabane lakho awuyi kuba yinto ngaphandle kwabo? Ukuba kunjalo, ukunye nolwalamano olukhohlisayo noluyingozi.

Kwintsebenziswano apho elinye icala lisebenzisa ubuqhetseba kunye nokuphatha kakubi ngokweemvakalelo, elinye liza kuthi ekugqibeleni liziva lungalufanelanga uthando nengqwalaselo. Ukuyeka ubudlelwane obunetyhefu kuya kukunceda ukuba uqonde kwaye uxabise ukuzimela namandla akho.

23. Ikhwele lesifo

Umona yinto engokwemvelo kwaye isempilweni eyilelwe ukukhusela abantu esibathandayo kwabo banokuchasana nabo.

Ngokwesiqhelo, umona ubonakalisa ukuphendula kwangoko, okunokugxothwa ngokuqiqa nathi.

Umona ogqithileyo awunamida kwaye awunakuqiqwa nawo. Ngenxa yokungaqiniseki okanye ukujongela phantsi, umntu uya kuqesha nawaphi na amanyathelo okukugcina ecaleni kwabo.

Ezo mvakalelo zikhuliswa ngakumbi luloyiko lokuswelekelwa ngumntu omthandayo zinokukhokelela iqabane ekubeni nobundlongondlongo kwaye libe yingozi. Okwangoku, ukushiya ubudlelwane obunetyhefu kuya kuba lolona khetho lukhuselekileyo.

24. Ukungabikho kwembeko

Ukungabi nantlonelo kuza ngeendlela ezininzi. Ingaziveza njengokubeka eyabo kwaye ingakhathaleli iimvakalelo zakho kunye neemfuno zakho.

Ukucoca iingcinga kunye nezimvo zakho, umzekelo, yenye yeempawu zokungahloniphi kulwalamano.

Ukulibala izivumelwano ezibalulekileyo okanye ukusoloko ufika emva kwexesha kubonisa ukuba bazikhathalele kangakanani izibophelelo ezenziwe kuwe. Ukuba bahlasela indawo yakho kwaye bakwenza uzive umncinci, ungakhohliswa.

Ukuba kufuneka uzibuze rhoqo, "Ngaba ndim okanye kukungabi nambeko?" unayo impendulo yakho.

25. Ukuziphatha ngendlela eyingozi

Ukuziphatha ngendlela enobungozi kunokwahluka kubukhulu kunye nomxhuzulane. Inokwahluka ngokungacingeli kunye nokuthatha isixa semali ngaphandle kokubonisana, ekurhoxisweni kweemali ezininzi, kunye nokuyalela ukufikelela kwimali edibeneyo.

Ukuba nespender kwiqabane lakho elingakhathaliyo ngeziphumo zokhetho lwabo lwezemali kuwe yindlela elula yokuqonda ubudlelwane obunetyhefu.

26. Ukungazigcini izithembiso zokutshintsha

Ithemba lisweleke okokugqibela. Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba ukwimeko yethemba engagungqiyo uthethelela ukuba kutheni, kwakhona, iqabane lakho lingakwazanga ukwenza oko bakuthembisileyo, unokuba kubudlelwane obunetyhefu. Nokuba emva kwezithembiso ezininzi zokwenza iinzame notshintsho, abakhange bazilandele.

Asinakuphila ngaphandle kwethemba, okanye kuphela kulo.

Ukuba iqabane lakho lihlala lisithi liza kwenza ngcono kwixesha elizayo kwaye litshintshe, inokuba lixesha lokuba uqale ngokubuza imibuzo enzima. Ndifuna ukulinda ixesha elingakanani ndide ndiqiniseke ukuba abazukutshintsha, okanye ndizimisele ukuqhubeka ndiphila ngoluhlobo?

27. Ukuhamba phezu kwamaqokobhe amaqanda

Ukuba indlela yokuziphatha kweqabane lakho ibingalindelekanga kwaye ishenxa kangangokuba kufuneka unyathele kancinci yonke imihla, uku "ubudlelwane begobolondo lweqanda."

Isenzo esinye okanye amagama ambalwa aphume kukukhathazeka okanye umsindo awenzi umntu abe yityhefu. Nangona kunjalo, ukubonakaliswa okungaguqukiyo kokuziphatha okutshabalalisayo kunye nokungakhathali kuya kubonisa ukuba usebudlelwaneni nomntu onetyhefu.

28. Ukungahoyi iimfuno zakho

Xa uthetha ngobudlelwane, akunakuphepheka ukuthetha malunga neemfuno zomntu kunye nolindelo. Omnye uya kufuna iqabane lakhe ukuba lihlekise okanye libe ngumcebisi othembekileyo. Abanye banokucela amaqabane abo ukuba anike inkxaso kunye nokuqinisekisa.

Nangona ungalindelanga ukuba bahlangabezane nazo zonke iimfuno zovakalelo, ezinye zazo ziyimfuneko ukuze kuhlangatyezwane nazo ukuze ubudlelwane buqhubeke. Kubudlelwane obungenampilo, iqabane liyala ukubakhona kwaye alibonisi gumbi lokulalanisa.

29. Intlekisa engamkelekanga

Impixano yinto eqhelekileyo kwaye ilindelekile nakweyiphi na ubudlelwane. Oko, nangona kunjalo, oko akuthethi ukuba iqabane lakho linokukugculela, likubize ngamagama, likujongele phantsi okanye likuthobe.

Ngokukodwa ukuba kukho omnye umntu okhoyo ngoku, oku kubandakanya nakuphi na ukubizwa ngamagama okunokukwenza uzive ungafani kwaye ugxothiwe.

30. Ngaphandle kwamehlo, ngaphandle kwengqondo

Ukuncamathela ngokweemvakalelo kwiqabane lethu kuya kuthetha ukuba iqhina liphuhlisiwe liya kuhlala liphelele ngelixa iqabane lingabikho ngokwasemzimbeni.

Ukungabikho akufuneki kubonise ukulahlwa okanye ukungabinamdla. Ukungabikho luphawu lobudlelwane obusempilweni logama nje izuzisa omabini amacala kwaye ayisosiphumo sokungakhathalelani omnye nomnye.

Ukuba iqabane lakho liyanyamalala ixesha elongeziweyo kwaye akukho mdla ubonisiweyo ekunxibelelaneni kwakhona okanye ukungena, inokuba sisalathiso sokudlula ngokweemvakalelo.

31. Ukungabikho koxabiso

Ngaba iqabane lakho alibonisi mdla kwiiprojekthi zakho, kwizinto ozithandayo, okanye kwezinye izinto ezibalulekileyo?

Mhlawumbi bayagweba ngokubaluleka kwemisebenzi yakho kunye negalelo ngokusekwe kwiikhrayitheriya zabo, ukungahoyi ukuba zibaluleke kangakanani na kuwe.

Eminye yemizekelo inokubandakanya: "Izinto ozithandayo zodongwe yinkcitha xesha!" okanye "Ke uza kuthini ukuba uyitshintshile iklatshi emotweni? Mhlawumbi umoshe nje imali. ”

Imbono yabo yotyalo-mali lwamandla okwenza into kubo bobabini igqwetheke kakhulu, izukisa iinzame zabo kwaye ikwenze uzive ungaxatyiswanga kwaye unganikeli ngokwaneleyo.

32. Ukusilela kwexesha lokwabelana kunye nendawo

Ngaba bayasilela ukuza xa kulindeleke kwaye abanakho okanye abayi kunika nkcazo yokulibaziseka?

Ngaba bayarhoxisa ngomzuzu wokugqibela kwaye benze izicwangciso nabanye abantu, ababonakala ngathi abafumaneki kangako kwaye kunzima ukuhlanganisa nabo?

Ixesha elichithwe kunye liba lincinci xa kuthelekiswa nexesha labo lodwa okanye ixesha nabanye abantu. Ukongeza, abakulungelanga ukwaba naziphi na iinkcukacha malunga nokungabikho.

33. Inkani kunye nokwala ingxelo

Inkani luphawu olonakalisayo, oluzise ubudlelwane obuninzi ekonakaleni. Umntu onenkani uya kuthi angavumeli naliphi na igalelo, okanye iya kusetyenziselwa ukwenza uluvo lwabo.

Iqabane elinenkani liya kuba nezimvo kwaye Ukuchaswa phantse kuyo nayiphi na ingxoxo okanye ingcebiso. Ukuphelisa ubudlelwane obunetyhefu kuhlala kuphela kwendlela yokunyanzela iqabane ukuba liziqonde iziphoso zabo.

34. Ukuthelekisa okungathandekiyo

Ngaba iqabane lakho lihlala likuthelekisa nabanye abantu, ligxininisa ukongama kwabo ngaphezu kwakho kwezinye iimpawu?

Amanye amaqabane anengxaki yokuzalisekisa iimpawu zakho kwaye aqhubeke noxinzelelo lweendawo ekufuneka uphucule kuzo.

Ukuqonda uphawu, bafumana umtsalane kwabanye abantu ngokuzenzekelayo kubenza ukuba banike izimvo ngokungabikho kwakho. Oku kuhlala kukhokelela kwi ukwenza iqabane lizive lingafanelekanga okanye lingafunwa.

35. Ukulalana ngenkani

Ukunyanzelwa ngokwesondo lulo naluphi na uhlobo loxinzelelo olungasetyenziswanga ukunyanzela ukuba uthathe inxaxheba nakweziphi na izenzo zesondo.

Ukuba uziva kwaye uchaze ngokucacileyo ukuba awukho kwimeko kwaye iqabane lakho lisaqhubeka, le iflegi ebomvu yolwalamano oluba nokuhlukumeza umda.

"Ukuba ubundithanda, ubuya kuyenza" yenye yeendawo ezivulekileyo, ukuzama ukwenza ukuba ukholelwe ukuba awulilo iqabane elifanelekileyo ukuba uyala.

Ukuphuma kubudlelwane obunetyhefu kuya kuba lukhetho lwakho oluphambili ukuba unxibelelwano kunye nokuseta umda akufikisi ndawo.

36. Ukoyika ubundlongondlongo bomzimba

Iqabane elikhathazekileyo, elingasenazo ezinye iindlela zokunyanzelisa ukuthanda kwabo, banokubhenela ku Ukubonisa ubundlongondlongo bokunyanzela ukongamela nokunyanzela ukubhida.

Ngelishwa, oku akupheleli kwisini somhlaseli. Ukuba uqaphela ukuba awuthethi ingqondo yakho ngenxa yokoyika impendulo yabo, lixesha lokuba ukhathalele ukhuseleko lwakho kuqala kwaye ushiye ubudlelwane obunetyhefu.

37. Ukuqhula okungafanelekanga ngokukrexeza okanye ukushiya

Uninzi, ukukrexeza nokushiya ezinye zezinto zokungcatsha kunye noloyiko. Ukuqhula kwezi zihloko kunokuba nefuthe lokuncipha elibekiweyo kwikamva lakho njengesibini.

Ukuba iqabane lakho liyazingisa ekwenzeni ulwaphulo-mthetho emva kokuba uchazile indlela ekuchaphazela ngayo, lixesha lokuba ubuze ukuba kutheni bekhethe ukukwenzakalisa ngenjongo? Oku kunokuba yintlekisa kubo, kodwa asiyonto yakho.

Ukwazi ukuba iimvakalelo zakho zonzakele kwaye zingayeki ngokuziphatha okulimazayo kuthetha umbono wabo kunye nokuzimisela ukutshintsha.

38. Ukupheliswa kwemfihlo

Sonke sifanelwe inqanaba elithile lokuba ngasese, kwaye kubudlelwane obuphilileyo, oku ngekhe kusetyenziswe gwenxa.

Ukuba iqabane lakho liqhubeka nokujonga apho ukhoyo, uhamba ngefowuni kunye nezinto ezizezakho, emva koko iqabane lakho liwele imida kwaye yahlasela indawo yakho yobuqu.

39. Ukuphepha ixesha nabahlobo bakho kunye nosapho

Iqabane elinothando liza kwamkela ngamanye amaxesha ukwenza izinto ezibalulekileyo kuwe, nangona bekhetha ukwenza enye into.

Ukuba iqabane lakho ngokuqhubekayo liyakuphepha ukuchitha ixesha nabantu bakho, musa ukuthandabuza ukubuza ukuba kutheni. Iimpendulo zalo mbuzo zinokukunceda ukuba ububudlelwane obuyityhefu okanye hayi.

Ukukhetha ukungakwenzi nje ngenxa yokuphazamiseka ngelixa usazi ukuba kuthetha ntoni kuwe kubonisa ukuthanda kwabo ukutyala imali kwizinto ezibaluleke kuwe.

40. Ukuthetha nawe esidlangalaleni

Enye yezona ndawo zisebenzayo ukubonisa ukongama ngaphezu kweqabane liphambi kwabanye abantu. Inokukhathaza kakhulu kwaye ikwenze ube neentloni kwaye ube neentloni.

Ubudlelwane obuyityhefu buye bakhelwe kwiqabane elinye elizibanga njengelona liphezulu kwaye "liphezulu" kwaye lisebenzisa naliphi na ithuba ukubonisa oku, kubandakanya nokuthetha nawe esidlangalaleni.