Umxholo
- 1. Ukufunda ukufumana okulungileyo kukungafezeki kweqabane lakho
- 2. Ukuba noxanduva lokuphendula kwizenzo zeqabane lakho
- 3. Qaphela izinto ezimbini ezintle ezenziwa liqabane lakho ngosuku
- 4. Ukufunda ukwamkela ukungafezeki kwakho
- 5. Ukufunda ukuba ngumntu ogqibeleleyo hayi umntu ogqibeleleyo
Ayisoloko ukuba umbono onamandla okutshintsha ubudlelwane unegama elimnandi ukutsho.
Wabi-sabi (wobby sobby) ligama laseJapan ekunzima ukulithetha ngaphandle kokuncuma elichaza indlela enzulu yokujonga ubudlelwane kunye nesiqu sakho, nabanye abantu kunye nobomi ngokubanzi. URichard Powell umbhali we I-Wabi Sabi elula ichaze njenge, “Ukwamkela umhlaba ungafezekanga, ungagqitywanga, kwaye udlulile, emva koko ungene nzulu kwaye ubhiyozele loo nyani.”
Ilifa elidluliselwe kwisizukulwana ukuya kwisizukulwana lixabisekile, hayi ngaphandle kweempawu zokuyisebenzisa, kodwa ngenxa yalawo manqaku. Akukho mntu wakha wathi uLeonard Cohen, uBob Dylan, okanye uLead Belly baziimvumi ezinkulu ngokwendlela eqhelekileyo yelizwi, kodwa baziimvumi ezibalaseleyo ezivela kumbono wababi-sabi.
Nazi izinto ezi-5 ezibalulekileyo zokuthatha ubudlelwane ukusuka kumbono weWabi-sabi
1. Ukufunda ukufumana okulungileyo kukungafezeki kweqabane lakho
Ukuze ube wabi-sabi kubudlelwane nomnye ungaphezulu kokunyamezela ukungafezeki kweqabane lakho, kukufumana okuhle kwezo zibizwa ngokuba ziziphene.
Kukufumana ukwamkelwa hayi ngaphandle kokungafezeki, kodwa ngenxa yabo. Ukuba wabi-sabi kubudlelwane kukuyeka ukuzama "ukulungisa" loo mntu, okuvula ixesha elininzi kunye namandla okuba kunye nembambano encinci.
Ubudlelwane buhlala buhamba ngamanqanaba. Eyokuqala ihlala intabatheko okanye "iyathandana." Omnye umntu kunye nesibini esenziweyo sibonwa phantse ngokugqibeleleyo. Inqanaba lesibini kuxa elinye okanye elinye lamalungu esi sibini siqonda ukuba izinto, zithetha omnye umntu, azifezekanga kwaphela. Ngokwazi oku, abanye abantu bayaphuma ngaphandle kwebudlelwane ukuba baphinde bafune loo mntu ugqibeleleyo, iqabane labo lomphefumlo, eliya kubagqibezela. Kodwa ngethamsanqa, uninzi lwabantu luthatha isigqibo sokuhlala kubudlelwane babo kwaye basebenze izinto.
Ngelishwa, oko kuhlala kuthetha ukuzama ukutshintsha omnye umntu abe ngaphezulu ngendlela "ekufuneka" eyiyo. Izibini ezininzi zichitha bonke ubomi bazo kumzabalazo wokutshintsha enye.
Abanye abantu ekugqibeleni bayabubona ubuyatha bokuzama "ukulungisa" omnye umntu kubudlelwane kodwa baqhubeke benomsindo wokuba umntu wabo amthandayo engatshintshi. Inzondelelo ivela kwiingxabano kodwa ayisombululeki. Ukanti, abanye bayakwazi ukufikelela kwinqanaba lokunyamezela iziphene zothandiweyo wabo ngaphandle kwenzondo.
2. Ukuba noxanduva lokuphendula kwizenzo zeqabane lakho
Zimbalwa izibini eziphumelelayo ukufikelela kwinqanaba apho ziqala khona ukubona izinto ezenziwa ngomnye umntu / iingcinga / iimvakalelo zakhe hayi njengokubonakaliswa kokuxabiseka kwabo, kodwa njengamathuba okuzibonakalisa. Amalungu ezi zibini zinqabileyo ngabo bathatha indawo; "Ndinoxanduva lwe-100% kolu lwalamano lwam." Esi simo sengqondo asithethi ukuba omnye unoxanduva lwento eyenziwa ngomnye umntu ngama-50%, kodwa oko kuthetha ukuba umntu unoxanduva olupheleleyo ngendlela umntu asabela ngayo kwizenzo zomnye umntu.
3. Qaphela izinto ezimbini ezintle ezenziwa liqabane lakho ngosuku
Enye indlela yokukhuthaza ubudlelwane obonwabisayo kukutshintshiselana ebusuku apho umntu ngamnye ethatha uxanduva ngempazamo kwaye athathele ingqalelo izinto ezimbini ezintle ezenziwa ngomnye umntu ngala mhla.
Umlingane 1- "Inye into endiyenzileyo namhlanje enciphise ukusondelelana kwethu bekungakubizi ngelixesha besivumelene ukuba ndiza kubiza. Ndiyaxolisa ngalonto. Inye into oyenzileyo ukuphucula ukusondelelana kwethu xa wawundixelela ukuba wenzakele kwaye unomsindo wokuba andikubuyisanga ungakhange ukhale, kodwa watsho ngokuzolileyo. Into yesibini oyenzileyo ephucule ukusondelelana kwethu namhlanje yayindibulela ngokuchola indawo yokucoca eyomileyo. Ndiyathanda xa uphawula ukuba ndenza ntoni ngezivumelwano kwaye uyandibulela. ”
4. Ukufunda ukwamkela ukungafezeki kwakho
Ukujonga ukungafezeki komntu endaweni yokujonga omnye umntu ngelixa ujonga izinto ezintle ezenziwa ngomnye umntu utshintshe indlela yokunxibelelana naleyo ihlala ifunyanwa kubudlelwane obuphikisanayo apho umntu ngamnye eyingcali kwinto ayenze kakuhle kananjalo ingcali kwinto engalunganga eyenziwe ngomnye umntu.
5. Ukufunda ukuba ngumntu ogqibeleleyo hayi umntu ogqibeleleyo
Mhlawumbi olona celomngeni kunzima kulo ukuziqhelanisa ne-wabi-sabi kukunye nawe. "Iziphene zethu zomlinganiso," kunye "nokusilela" zezinto ezisenze saba yile nto siyiyo namhlanje. Zilingana ngokwasemoyeni, ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasemoyeni imibimbi, amabala, kunye nemigca yokuhleka kwimizimba yethu.
Asisoze saba ngabantu abafezekileyo, kodwa sinako ukuba ngabantu abagqibeleleyo. Njengoko uLeonard Cohen ebethisa ingoma yakhe ye-wabi sabi Umhobe, “Kukho ukuqhekeka kuyo yonke into. Singena njalo ke isibane. ”
