Umxholo
- 1. Uzilile ngenxa yelahleko
- 2. Thatha okuhle kokulungileyo
- 3. Shiya abantwana ngaphandle kwayo
- 4. Hlala ungatshatanga okwethutyana
- 5. Jika uye kwimithombo elungileyo
- 6. Thatha usuku olunye ngexesha
Ukwahlukana neqabane lakho, nokuba kusemva kweminyaka emibini okanye engama-20 nitshatile, ngamava ahlala ebuhlungu kakhulu. Kuhlala kuzisa iimvakalelo zokungazithembi, ukudideka kunye nokuphulukana nokuzazi. Kuqhelekile ukuba abathengi bam bazibuze ngokuvakalayo, “Andisazazi ukuba ndingubani ngoku!”, “Ndiziva ngathi ndisilele”, “Ndiziva ndilahlekile kwaye ndibhidekile ... andazi ukuba ndithini” m kufuneka ndenze kwaye ndiyephi ukusuka apha! ”. Kukulahleka kobambiswano olwaluqhelekile, nangona kunokuba kuyityhefu kwaye kubuhlungu.
Okwangoku, kubalulekile ukuhlala ubekhona kwaye uqaphele inkqubo yangaphakathi yeemvakalelo zakho, ukuze ke ukwazi ukubona kunye nokufaka izixhobo ezifanelekileyo kunye nenkxaso onokuyifumana. Ndingathanda ukunika iingcebiso eziluncedo kunye neengcebiso zokwahlukana emtshatweni kubantu abatshatileyo abacinga ngokwahlukana, okanye kwabo basandula ukutshata emva kokuba bekunobudlelwane.
1. Uzilile ngenxa yelahleko
Into yokuqala endiyixelelayo kubaxumi bam abazahlukana namaqabane abo kukuba basentlungwini - babuhlungu kukusweleka kobudlelwane babo; ukulahlekelwa ngumtshato. Njengokusweleka komntu omthandayo, amaqabane kubudlelwane ahlala ehamba kumanqanaba amahlanu osizi, oko kukuthi- ukothuka, ukukhanyela, umsindo, ukuxoxisana kunye nokwamkelwa kokugqibela Yintoni i, kwaye sijonge phambili Intoni ingayi. Kuyanceda ukukhumbula le nkqubo kwaye uzithobe ngokwakho. Vumela ukuba usizi kwaye ube namava eemvakalelo ezihamba nokulila ngenxa yokuphulukana nobudlelwane, nokuba kukukhetha kwakho ukushiya umtshato okanye isigqibo sobabini.
2. Thatha okuhle kokulungileyo
Amaxesha amaninzi xa ubudlelwane bujika buba krakra, amaqabane athambekele ekukhumbuleni kuphela iimpikiswano zamva nje, ukungqubana okukhulu, ukwenzakala kunye neentlungu ezishiye incasa embi ezingqondweni zabo. Indlela eluncedo yokufumana ukuvalwa kubudlelwane bakho xa uthathe isigqibo sokwahlukana, kukujonga amaxesha amnandi kunye namaxesha angalunganga kubomi bakho kunye. Ukuzivocavoca kunceda ekwenzeni ingxelo yokwenyani yobudlelwane bakho, kwaye mhlawumbi ikunike ukuqonda malunga nepatheni yakho yobudlelwane, amandla engxabano yakho, nalapho uhlala unamathele ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane bakho.
3. Shiya abantwana ngaphandle kwayo
Izinto zinokuba nzima xa ukwahlukana komtshato kubandakanya abantwana kunye namalungiselelo okugcina. Zikhumbuze mihla le ukuba oku kwahlulwa kubhekisele kuwe nakwiqabane lakho, kwaye oku akuyitshintshi indlela eninxibelelana ngayo nabantwana. Ngamanye amaxesha, abazali baqala ukuziva benganqabisekanga malunga nokukwazi kwabo kunye nokufaneleka kwabo njengomzali, kwaye olu xinzelelo luthatha uhlobo lokubetha omnye umzali phambi kwabantwana. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba uhlala ubaqinisekisa abantwana ukuba bayathandwa nobabini kwaye oku kwahlukana ayilotyala labo nangayiphi na indlela. Abantwana kufuneka bazive bekhuselekile kwaye bekhuselekile kwaye banikwe isiqinisekiso sokuba baya kukhathalelwa ngaphandle kotshintsho kubazali. Abantwana bayaphumelela xa benezakhiwo ezicacileyo kunye nemida, kwaye xa okusingqongileyo kuyinto yokuhloniphana kwaye kuyimodeli yokuziphatha kakuhle.
4. Hlala ungatshatanga okwethutyana
Xa ungatshatanga okokuqala ebomini bakho emva kweminyaka emininzi, kuyindalo ukuba uzive ulahlekile kwaye ungazithembanga. Rhoqo, abathengi abasandula ukwahlukana namaqabane abo baxela ukuba baziva beneentloni, iintloni, umsindo, ukungazithembi nokudideka malunga nokuba bathini kufanele yenza ngoku. Imithombo yeendaba ayincedi nokuba kuboniswe rhoqo ukuba yintoni enqwenelekayo (uphumelele, mhle kwaye unobuhlobo) kwaye yintoni engafunekiyo (ihlwempuzekile, ayithandeki kwaye ayitshatanga). Ingcebiso yam kukucima imithombo yeendaba engenangqondo kunye nokuzonwabisa kunye nokungena ngaphakathi-mhlawumbi ugcine umkhwa wejenali yemihla ngemihla, ukwaba ixesha lokucingisisa nzulu kunye nokulungisa iingcinga, iimvakalelo kunye neemfuno zakho. Xa ukhawuleza ungene kubudlelwane obutsha, njengokulungisa ngokukhawuleza kwintlungu yokungatshati, ivula ibhokisi yePandora yeengxaki ezintsha. Ngaphandle koko, uphoswa lithuba elixabisekileyo lokuhlala kwaye uthathe isitokhwe ngobomi bakho, uvavanye okuhle kunye nezinto ezimbi kunye neendawo zokukhula komntu.
5. Jika uye kwimithombo elungileyo
Ukukunceda unyamezele uxinzelelo kwangoko lokungatshati, kubalulekile ukuba uzingqonge nabahlobo kunye nosapho olunefuthe elihle nelincedisayo. Yenza umgudu wokufikelela kubahlobo bakho kwaye wenze izicelo ezithile zezinto ezinokuba luncedo kuwe. Ngamanye amaxesha, abahlobo baziva bengonwabanga kwaye bemathidala ukucebisa ngemisebenzi okanye abanokwazi ukuba bangakuthuthuzela njani. Kodwa, bahlala befuna ukubakhona, kodwa bayoyika ukuba bangathetha okanye benze into engeyiyo. Eminye imisetyenzana ethile onokuthi ucebise ukuba uyenze nabahlobo bakho enokuba yeyonyango - kukuhamba uhambo, isidlo sangokuhlwa okanye imovie; ukucwangcisa i-potluck ekhaya; ukuya kwiklasi yokwenza umthambo kunye.
6. Thatha usuku olunye ngexesha
Khumbula ukuhlala okwangoku kwaye uthathe usuku olunye ngexesha. Kungokwemvelo ukuba ingqondo itsaleleke kwiingcinga ezinganiki themba ezinje, "yile ndlela ndizakuziva ngayo ubomi bam bonke!". Ezinye zezinto onokuzenza ukuzikhathalela kwaye ubekho yonke imihla kukuqala kokucamngca imihla ngemihla ukuze uzenzele, wenze umkhwa wokuzilolonga yonke imihla, njengoko kusisiqabu kwindalo, ukuzibandakanya neqela lenkxaso kubantu abasandula ukwahlukana , kunye nokufuna uncedo lobuchwephesha ngohlobo lonyango lwengqondo ukunceda ukuqhubekeka noxinzelelo lweemvakalelo.
Ke, phefumla nzulu, kwaye uzikhumbuze ukuba awuwedwa kulo mzabalazo. Thatha isitokhwe esifanelekileyo sayo yonke into ephantsi kolawulo lwakho, hlala ukhoyo kwaye ukhumbule, kwaye usebenzise izixhobo ezifanelekileyo ezikhoyo ukunceda ukuqonda intlungu yakho kunye nokubandezeleka.