Umxholo
- 1. Ziqaphele iimpawu eziqhelekileyo zempilo yengqondo
- 2. Thetha ngokuphandle nangokunyanisekileyo
- 3. Musa ukuyiphazamisa incoko.
- 4. Yiza uzilungiselele ngemibuzo
- 5. Baqinisekise ukuba uyabathanda kwaye ubakhathalele
- 6. Thetha nengcali yezempilo yengqondo ufune unyango
- 7. Qonda ukuba kuthatha ixesha ukuba ngcono
- 8. Qhubeka nencoko
Inxalenye yento eyenza imiba yezempilo yengqondo icelomngeni kukuba zihlala zingabonakali.
Xa wena okanye umntu obathandayo bephila ngengxaki yempilo yengqondo, akunakubakho zimpawu zibonakalayo zomzimba. Endaweni yoko, iimpawu zangaphakathi kwaye zifihliwe ngaphantsi komphezulu.
Ngesi sizathu, kuhlala kunzima kubahlobo okanye kusapho ukuba baqonde imeko yokugula okanye kutheni kunokuba buthathaka.
Ngenxa yoko, kunokuba nzima okanye ukhululeke ukuthetha ngempilo yengqondo, nkqu neqabane lakho. Nangona kunjalo, awuwedwa.
Ukugula ngengqondo kuqhelekile kunokuba abantu abaninzi banokucinga. Ngokutsho kweZiko leSizwe lezeMpilo yeNgqondo, umntu omnye kwabahlanu kubantu abadala base-US uhlangabezana nengxaki yempilo yengqondo kunyaka othile, uninzi lweemeko zixhalabile, zilandelwa luxinzelelo.
Nokuba uhlala nomlingane onesifo sengqondo, okanye wena ngokwakho uyasokola, kubalulekile ukuba uthethe ngempilo yengqondo. Kusenokubonakala kungekho lula ekuqaleni, kokubini ukuyichaza nokuyiqonda.
Ke, ungamnceda njani umntu onesifo sengqondo? Ungathetha njani ngokugula ngengqondo okanye impilo yengqondo?
Nazi iingcebiso ezininzi zokukunceda ukuba uqale ngokuthetha ngempilo yengqondo kunye neqabane lakho.
1. Ziqaphele iimpawu eziqhelekileyo zempilo yengqondo
Ekuqaleni, iqabane lakho lisenokungakuxeleli ngokungqalileyo malunga nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo. Ngamanye amaxesha, banokungayiqondi nokuba impilo yabo yengqondo iyabandezeleka.
Ukuba uqala ukubona utshintsho kwindlela abaziphethe ngayo kwaye ucinga ukuba banokuba besigula ngengqondo, zama ukuqaphela ezi mpawu zilandelayo:
- Ukutshintsha kwemood okuqhubekayo
- Ukukhala rhoqo
- Ukuxhalaba okugqithisileyo kunye nokungenakwenzeka ngokungenanto okanye akukho ncazelo
- Ukungakwazi ukugxila okanye ukugqiba imisebenzi emsebenzini okanye esikolweni
- Ukunqongophala kwamandla
- Ukungakwazi ukonwaba ngezinto ebomini
- Utshintsho olungachazwanga kwiipateni zokulala okanye iimvakalelo zokudinwa
Ngelixa iimpawu zokugula ngengqondo zahlukile, zonke ezi ziimpawu eziqhelekileyo zoxinzelelo, uxinzelelo kunye nokunye ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo.
Ukuba umntu wakho omthandayo ubonakalisa iimpawu ezininzi ngaphezulu kweentsuku okanye iiveki, inokuba lixesha lokuba uxoxe ngalo mbandela kwaye ube nengxoxo malunga nempilo yabo yengqondo.
2. Thetha ngokuphandle nangokunyanisekileyo
Nokuba uthetha ngempilo yakho yengqondo okanye yeqabane lakho, ukuthembeka kubalulekile.
Kungangonwabi kwaye kube nzima ukuvula, kodwa ukufihla iimvakalelo zakho kulowo umthandayo kuya kubangela ingozi enkulu kwixesha elide.
Nobabini kufuneka nivumele omnye nomnye ukuba athethe ngokukhululekileyo kwaye angahlali egweba.
Okukhona nithetha ngokuphandle omnye komnye, kokukhona niya kukwazi ukuqonda. Ukuqonda okungcono, emva koko, kuya kukunceda nobabini ukujongana nesifo sengqondo kunye nokunciphisa uxinzelelo kubudlelwane bakho.
3. Musa ukuyiphazamisa incoko.
Hloniphanani kwaye ninike iqabane lakho ixesha elifunekayo lokuthetha. Le yingxoxo enentsingiselo, ecela umngeni.
Enye yezinto zokuqala ekufuneka uzenzile ngelixa uthetha ngempilo yengqondo, zibekele bucala ixesha elaneleyo lokuba nengxoxo epheleleyo.
Nobabini nidinga ixesha lokuqonda iimvakalelo zomnye nomnye kwaye nibonakalise indlela wena okanye impilo yeqabane lakho oluchaphazela ngayo ubudlelwane bakho.
Nokuba kukho ikhefu okanye ixesha lokuthula ngexesha lencoko, sukuziva isidingo sokugcwalisa oko cwaka. Vumelana ixesha lokuphicotha iingcinga.
Ukuba iqabane lakho linengxaki yengqondo, unokuziva unyanzelekile ukuba ucofe inqaku, ufumane iimpendulo, okanye "ulungise" imeko yabo ngelo xesha.
Nangona kunjalo, kuthatha ixesha ukuba ngcono, kwaye ukutyhala incoko kunokuba nemiphumo emibi. Endaweni yoko, mamela iqabane lakho, yiba nomonde, kwaye ubanike ixesha abalifunayo.
4. Yiza uzilungiselele ngemibuzo
Inokukunceda ukuba ungene kwincoko elungiselelwe ngemibuzo. Ukubuza imibuzo kunokukunceda uyiqonde ngcono indlela oziva ngayo kwiqabane lakho.
Ngaphandle koko, Imibuzo ingabonisa ukuba ubathatha ngokungathí sina kwaye unomdla kwimpilo yabo yengqondo. Ukuba iqabane lakho linengxaki ekunxibelelaneni, imibuzo inokukunceda ukukhokela incoko.
Imizekelo yemibuzo onokuyibuza ibandakanya:
- Ungayichaza indlela oziva ngayo?
- Kude kube nini uziva unje?
- Ngaba ikho into eyenzekileyo ngaphambi kokuba uqale ngale ndlela?
- Ndingakunceda njani?
Nika iqabane lakho ixesha abafuna ukucinga ngalo nokuphendula. Ngokufanayo, ukuba iqabane lakho likubuza imibuzo, khumbula ukuba awunyanzelekanga ukuba uphendule yonke imibuzo.
Ngamanye amaxesha usenokungazi ukuba ubaphendule njani, okanye usenokungabi nayo impendulo.
5. Baqinisekise ukuba uyabathanda kwaye ubakhathalele
Xa uhlala nesifo sengqondo, kunokuba lula ukuziva ngathi ungumthwalo kwabanye ebomini bakho, ngakumbi iqabane lakho.
Ukuba iqabane lakho liqala ukuthetha ngempilo yabo yengqondo, Enye yezinto zokuqala onokuzenza kukubaqinisekisa ukuba uyabathanda kwaye bakho baxhase.
Ukuqinisekiswa kunye nenkxaso kunokuhamba umgama omde ukunceda iqabane lakho liziva likhululekile ukuba lingene kunxibelelwano oluvulekileyo noluthembekileyo kwixa elizayo.
Ukongeza, ukubonisa uthando lwakho kunye nenkxaso kunokubanceda boyise nakuphi na ukukhathazeka okanye ukuthandabuza ukufuna unyango lwempilo yabo yengqondo.
6. Thetha nengcali yezempilo yengqondo ufune unyango
Ukunyamekela impilo yakho yengqondo sele kunokuba ngumceli mngeni, kodwa kuye kube nzima ngakumbi xa uhlala nesifo sengqondo. Ngethamsanqa, wena neqabane lakho anisodwa.
Kukho iindlela zokhetho ezikhoyo, kubandakanya unyango, amayeza, okanye ukudityaniswa kwazo zombini.
Ukufuna uncedo ekuqaleni kunokuba ngathi kungumsebenzi otyhafisayo, kodwa ukuzifumanela unyango wena okanye iqabane lakho linyathelo lokuqala lokuba ngcono. Thatha ixesha lokuthetha kunye malunga nonyango kunye nendlela onokuthi ulixhase ngayo iqabane lakho kuyo yonke le nkqubo.
Kunokuba luncedo ukuya kunyango kunye neqabane lakho, ngakumbi kwimeko apho impilo yengqondo ibeka uxinzelelo kulwalamano lwakho. Ngamanye amaxesha, kunokuba yimfuneko ukufuna izibini okanye unyango lomtshato.
Bukela le vidiyo ukuze uqonde ukubaluleka kokuthetha ngempilo yengqondo.
7. Qonda ukuba kuthatha ixesha ukuba ngcono
Ukuthetha ngempilo yengqondo akukho lula njengoko kubonakala ngathi. Ukugula ngengqondo kunokuba nezizathu ezininzi, kwaye kungakuthatha ixesha elide ukucacisa esona sizathu.
Ngamanye amaxesha imeko, njengokutshintsha okukhulu kobomi okanye ukulahleka komntu omthandayo. Ngamanye amaxesha, kukho imbali yosapho yokugula ngengqondo, kwaye oyena nobangela yimfuza.
Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu, kuthatha ixesha ukuba ngcono. Ukuba wena okanye iqabane lakho nifuna unyango, kungathatha ixesha ukufumana amayeza afanelekileyo okanye unyango.
Nangona kunokuba lula ukuziva ukhathazekile, kufuneka ube nomonde kwaye uxhase.
Ukufumana unyango oluchanekileyo kuhlala kuthatha ixesha kunye nesilingo esincinci kunye nephutha. Kubalulekile ukuba ungazami ukukhawulezisa inkqubo yokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo.
Ukuba iqabane lakho liyanyangwa ngaphandle kwempumelelo yokuqala, oku akuthethi ukuba uyasilela nangayiphi na indlela. Qhubeka nokuhlala unika inkxaso kwaye ujonge kubo rhoqo.
8. Qhubeka nencoko
Incoko yakho yokuqala neqabane lakho ibalulekile ekwakheni umoya wokuthenjwa kunye nenkxaso, kodwa ingxoxo kufuneka iqhubeke njengenkqubo yonyango.
Sukuyeka ukuthetha ngempilo yengqondo neqabane lakho. Rhoqo ujonge iqabane lakho malunga nempilo yengqondo kunye nonyango.
Ngelixa kubalulekile ukubanika indawo abayifunayo, ukuzibandakanya kunyango lwabo kunceda ukubonisa inkxaso yakho.
Kukwabalulekile ukwazi ukuba iqabane lakho linokuza kuwe ngokwalo xa lithetha ngempilo yengqondo.
Yenza konke okusemandleni akho ukuba uvuleleke koku kwaye ufumaneke. Inokukunceda nokucwangcisa amaxesha okuthetha kwikamva.