Umxholo
- Ngaba ukuzithanda kukuzinyamekela?
- Ukuzinyamekela akwenzi ukuba abantu bazithande
- Ngaba uthando lwakho luyathandana?
- Sifunda njani ukuzithanda?
- Ukulungisa intetho yakho yangaphakathi
Uninzi lwabantu aluqondi ukuthanda kwakho-yinto ekhohlisayo kuba kunokuba nzima ukuba abantu bayenze. Ngoba? Ewe kuba ukuzithanda ngendlela engaqhelekanga (eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuzithanda- okanye ubuncinci kufanele ukuba) kubonakala kuyinto ekunzima kakhulu ukuba yenziwe ngabantu abaninzi.
Ngaba ukuzithanda kukuzinyamekela?
Endaweni yoko, abantu banokuhamba ebomini babo bezenzela iindlela ezimbalwa 'zokuzithanda' okanye 'ukuzikhathalela', uyazi, banokuzibekisela iinwele rhoqo njengonyango! Mhlawumbi banokubhukisha uthambiso okanye bathabathe uhambo, bafunde incwadi okanye bathathe ibhafu ende yokuphumla phantsi kwengcinga yokuba ezi zenzo 'zokuzikhathalela' kufuneka zincede ukuzenza uzive uzithanda, akunjalo?
Ukuzinyamekela akwenzi ukuba abantu bazithande
Amathuba awakho, ngekhe awuchukumise umphezulu, hayi ubuncinci kuba wonke umntu kufuneka akwazi ukuthatha ixesha lokucheba iinwele! Kodwa ngenxa yokuba kumzekelo ogqithileyo, umntu onesidima, onwabela ibhafu yokuphumla okanye ozipha ixesha lokufunda incwadi angakwazi ukonwabela loo mzuzu wexesha, kodwa ngaphandle komzamo izinto ezinjalo 'zokuzithanda' aziyi kuhamba ukutshintsha indlela avakalelwa ngayo umntu ngaye, okanye indlela abazibona ngayo ukuzithanda.
Ezi zinto zithandwayo zokuzikhathalela azinakuze zifikelele emphefumlweni womntu onexabiso eliphantsi ngokwaneleyo ukubanceda ukuba bafumane indlela yokuzithanda.
Kodwa ingxaki kukuba iindlela zokuzithanda eziqhelekileyo abantu abazisebenzisayo ukuzama ukuzenza bazive bhetele azide zifikelele emphefumlweni womntu 'oqhelekileyo' ongenayo imicimbi enesidima.
Ngaba uthando lwakho luyathandana?
Kuphantse kufane nokuba sikulungele ukulibala ukuzithanda, ukuzithiya endaweni yokuzithanda kwaye siziva sinentloni okanye sineentloni xa sizincoma, ngapha koko, ayisiyiyo narcissistic?
Impendulo nguhayi, ngendlela.
Ukuzithanda, ukuzithanda, nokuzincoma ayisiyoyanto yakwenza nokuzimela.
Kodwa luphawu olusilela kuninzi lwabantu.
Ukuzithanda wena kukuzithanda- ayingomsebenzi lowo
Ke, nangona amanqaku amaninzi afunyenwe kwi-Intanethi eza kubonisa iindlela 'zokuzithanda' sicebisa ukuba elona nyathelo libalulekileyo nelibaluleke kakhulu kwezi zinto kukuzithanda.
Sithetha ukuba uzithanda ngokwenyani, akukho sizathu sokuba umntu enze into oyifunayo kwimibandela enjalo hayi kuba indlela esizibona ngayo ukuba siyazithanda, okanye ithandwa kakhulu xa kuthelekiswa 'nokuzonda' kwenzeka ezingqondweni zethu nakwimizimba yethu. Iqala ke ukubonakalisa kumava ethu ebomini kwaye inyanzelise ukhetho lwethu lwengqondo nolomzimba.
Kungenxa yoko le nto iindlela zokuzinakekela njengehlobo lokuzithanda zingazukwenza nto ukunceda umntu ukuba afunde olona hlobo luthando lokutshintsha uthando ekufuneka silufumene.
Sifunda njani ukuzithanda?
Ukuziqhelanisa nothando lwakho kunye neyona njongo iphambili engqondweni kufuneka iqale ngombuzo 'ndizithanda njani? Lo mbuzo uya kubangela ukuba ingqondo yomntu ngamnye icinge malunga nokuba kutheni bengazithandi ngokwaneleyo, nto leyo ihlala isinceda ukuba sibone indlela yokusombulula ingxaki.
Kwakhona, ukuqaphela xa sisenza inzondo, okanye ukungaziniki amandla xa kufanelekile ukuba sizithande ikwayindlela elungileyo yokuqalisa ukwenza utshintsho. Ungabakho naphi na ebomini bakho, wenze nawuphi na umsebenzi ekufuneka uwenzile, kwaye ungazisa ulwazi lwakho kumaxesha xa uthatha isigqibo sokuba awonelanga kwaye ulungise le patheni.
Nokuba ucinga ngale mibuzo uya kuvusa into kwi-physiology yakho, ebonisa ukubonisa ukuba ezi ndlela zokuzithanda zenza umahluko, ngelixa ezinye 'iindlela zokuzithanda' onokuthi uzame ngazo ngaphambili ayizukutshintsha ngokwenyani impilo yakho yangaphakathi, ngaphandle kokukunceda uzive ukhululekile okanye ulungile okwethutyana.
Ukulungisa intetho yakho yangaphakathi
Ke, wenza ntoni xa uqaphela ukuba awuzithandi, ukuba uyazicaphukela, okanye uyazenza amandla.
Impendulo ilula!
Phinda engqondweni yakho ngokuphindaphindiweyo naziphi na ezi ngxelo (ngokuqinisekileyo qala ngeyokuqala nangona);
- ‘Ndanele,’
- 'Ndilungile,'
- 'Ndiyakwazi.'
- 'Ndiphelele.'
- 'Ndiyathandwa.'
- 'Ndinothando.'
- 'Ndinobubele.'
- 'Ndi _______ (faka naliphi na uhlobo oluthandayo onokuthanda ukuzenza kuwe.)
Vumela i-physiology yakho ukuba ibone imvakalelo yokuba 'yanele' nokuba ekuqaleni ungayenza ngomzuzwana omnye.
Kodwa unganikezeli kwaye ungayeki ukulila de kube kudlule imvakalelo yokungafaneleki.
Yenza lo msebenzi ngokuzimisela ngentliziyo iphela kwaye ujonge indlela ekukuphela kokuzithemba kwakho kunye nokuxabiseka okukhulayo kodwa nendlela ukuthembakala okumangalisa ngayo, okunika amandla kunye namava amangalisayo aqala ukuza ngendlela yakho.
Ngoku, le ndlela yokuzithanda isenokungabi yeyona nto iphambili, kodwa yenye yezona ndlela zisebenzayo zokuzilawula, umphefumlo wakho kunye nengqondo yakho ngoku.
Ukuzithanda yinto ekufuneka sonke siyivakalise kuthi; yinto esifanele sive ukuba ayisiyiyo amava nangona kunjalo-ukuzithanda yimeko yokuphila. Kwaye xa ufikile kuloo ndawo, apho uyeka ukungaziniki amandla kwaye uqala ukuthanda ngokwenyani kwaye wamkele ukuba ungubani akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokuzonwabisa ngamava amnandi 'okuzithanda' athandwa kakhulu kwezi ntsuku.
Kungenxa yokuba uyazithanda kwaye uyazamkela kwaye uyazi ukuba unelungelo lokufumana oko kuxolelwa!