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Umxholo
- 1. Ukuzithemba okuzukileyo
- 2. Ukungabikho kovelwano
- 3. Uyazithanda
- 4. Ukubonisa isimilo esikhohlisayo nesizisebenzelayo
- 5. Ukuqhayisa
- 6. Umtsalane kwaye upolishiwe
- 7. Uthanda izinto ezintle
- 8. Abancokolayo abangalunganga
- 9. Ubomi beendaba zosasazo ezisebenzayo
- 10. Zihombise ngamabali kunye nempumelelo
- 11. Iimfuno zakhe zingaphezulu kwezinye
- 12. Akukho mbeko kwimida yomntu
- 13. Akukho nikezela kwaye uthathe
- 14. Ukuguquguquka kobushushu
- 15. Uziphatha njengomntwana omncinane
- 16. Awunakufihla ixesha elide
- 17. Ubunzima obuphezulu
- 18. Andinakuma ngokugxekwa
- 19. Ungaze uthathe uxanduva
- 20. Ukulawula into engaqhelekanga
Iziphumo zokutshata nendoda engathandekiyo zinokuba zibi kakhulu. Ukuqala, ngumceli mngeni ngokwawo ukuqonda ukuba utshatile kwi-narcissist okanye hayi.
Ke ukukunceda kwiingxaki zakho zomtshato wokungaziphathi kakuhle kwaye uqonde ukuphathwa gadalala - nantsi imiqondiso engamashumi amabini ebonakalayo yokuba utshatile kwi-narcissist.
Bukela kwakhona: Ukunxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo ne-narcissist
1. Ukuzithemba okuzukileyo
Olunye lweempawu ezibonakalayo nezikhanyayo zomyeni okanye umfazi we-narcissist lelo liqabane lakho unexabiso elikhulu lokuzithemba.
Bazibona bephelele kwaye babalasele.
Bakholelwa ukuba yile ndlela usapho lwabo, abahlobo, oontanga babo kunye nabo badibana nabo kuba yile nto bazimisele ukuyenza.
2. Ukungabikho kovelwano
Olunye uphawu olucacileyo lokuba uneqabane elingumlingisi we-narcissist lolwabo yitsho ukungabikho kovelwano.
Uvelwano kukukwazi komntu ukuqonda iimvakalelo zomnye umntu kunye neengcinga zakhe. Unokuba yimfesane kwaye ungathandani nomntu.
Nangona kunjalo, ayifani enye indlela ejikeleze. Awunakho ukuba semathandweni okanye ubonakalise uthando xa ungenalo uvelwano.
Khumbula: Uthando alunakwenzeka ngaphandle kovelwano, kuba luvelwano olwahlula iimvakalelo zothando olusuka kuthando lokwenene.
Ukungabikho kovelwano kunokuba nzima ukubona, kodwa, kubonisiwe kwiindlela zokuziphatha ezinje ngokuthetha izinto ezimbi kuwe ngaphandle kokubetha iliso.
Ukuba utshatile kwi-narcissist, ngekhe babonakalise uvelwano ngakuwe okanye nakubani na omngqongileyo (nangona banokuba ngabalungileyo ngokuzenza ngathi).
3. Uyazithanda
Akukho narcissist ayithandayo ngaphezu kwakhe. Bayakuthanda ukuthetha ngeziqu zabo nangezinto abazithandayo. Bahlala bezama ukuqhuba incoko ngeenxa zonke.
4. Ukubonisa isimilo esikhohlisayo nesizisebenzelayo
Ngelixa oku kunokuba buthuntu ukutsho, kodwa ngelishwa, i-narcissist iyatshata kuphela kuba ingafumana into kuloo mtshato okanye loo mntu.
Ukuba uneqabane elithandanayo kwaye ubabuza, "niyandithanda kuba nindidinga, okanye nindifuna kuba nindithanda?"
Ukuba bebenyanisekile, bebenokukuxelela ukuba bayakuthanda kuba bayakudinga.
Kodwa ke, abayi kuyithetha loo nto kuba bayazi ukuba ayisiyiyo le nto ufuna ukuyiva kwaye ikugcine baya kukuxelela into ofuna ukuyiva. Basebenzisa iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokulawula ukulawula kwakho.
Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba utshatile kwi-narcissist, kufanelekile ukuba ujonge indlela yokuziphatha nokuzikhohlisa. Umzekelo woku kukuziva unetyala okanye uthelekiso olubi.
Besebenzisa amandla amagama, banokukuxelela, "Awuvuyi ukuba ndikutshatile?" (ityala-uhambo) Okanye "Awubi kakhulu ekuphekeni! Umntu wam wangaphambili wayebhetele kunawe ”(uthelekiso olubi).
Ukuba ukhe weva naliphi na kula mabinzana, okanye afana nawo kubudlelwane bakho, usenokutshata narcissist.
Thatha wethu 'ngaba nditshatile kwimibuzo ye-narcissist' ukwazi ukuba ngaba utshatile na kwi-narcissist.
5. Ukuqhayisa
Enye yeempawu zomyeni 'wokuziphatha kakubi' okanye umqondiso weqabane elithandanayo isidingo sabo sokunyusa ukuzithemba kwabo ngokuzidibanisa nabantu ababalulekileyo okanye abanamandla kwaye beqhayisa ngokudibana kwabo nabo.
6. Umtsalane kwaye upolishiwe
Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane bakho, awungekhe uncede kodwa umyeke umyeni okanye umfazi wakho wangoku. Xa befika egumbini, bayokukhanyisa, kwaye ayinguwe wedwa oqapheleyo, kodwa wonke umntu wenze njalo!
Iqabane lakho ke beliya kuba linomtsalane kwaye likhazimlisiwe. Ndigqibelele! Ngaba ugqibelele kancinane, mhlawumbi?
Olunye uphawu olucacileyo lokuba utshatile kwi-narcissist kukuba bayathandeka kakhulu (okanye babekho ekuqaleni-xa babekuncenga).
Ngokuvavanya imeko yomtsalane, unokufumanisa ukuba utshatile na kumyeni we-narcissist. Bayekile ukuthandeka ngoku bakubambile?
Kodwa ngaba uyababona benomtsalane kwabanye abantu kwaye uzibuze ukuba yintoni etshintshileyo, okanye ude ubuye umva xa ubona ubungqina bokuba uqhele imikhwa yeqabane lakho. Le miqondiso yeklasikhi yokuba utshatile kwi-narcissist.
7. Uthanda izinto ezintle
Akukho nto ngaphandle kwezona zilungileyo. A Umlingane we-narcissistic unokuzibandakanya ekuthengeni iimpahla zexabiso kunye nezixhobo ukubonisa umntu oqaqambileyo. Ingakumbi umntu ongenazo izeti ezizodwa zezakhono.
8. Abancokolayo abangalunganga
Incoko ilungile xa kukho ukuhamba okumnandi, ukutshintshiselana ngeengcinga kunye neembono ekwabelwana ngazo phakathi kwabantu ababini okanye nangaphezulu.
Iba yincoko embi xa umntu ephazamisa omnye umntu kwaye efaka amabali abo ngokungathi abanye abantu abaseqeleni abekho.
Sonke silufumene olu hlobo lwencoko, kodwa ubusazi ukuba lo ngumqondiso wokuphazamiseka kubuntu?
Ewe kunjalo, akusoloko kunjalo ukuba uhlala nomntu ophuphuma yimincili ngenxa yento ethile okanye ukhathazekile kwaye ukhathazekile malunga nemeko abanokuthi bayisebenzise kakhulu loo meko ukukumamela, kodwa ipateni iya kuba yeyokwexeshana.
Ipateni yokuphazamiseka kunye ne-narcissist iya kuhlala ihleli.
Xa utshatile kwi-narcissist, lindela ukuba iincoko ziphulukane nokuhamba ngenxa yokuba iqabane lakho elithandanayo liza kubeka ingqalelo kubo, ngakumbi ukuba uyaphambuka ekunikeni ingqalelo.
9. Ubomi beendaba zosasazo ezisebenzayo
Ukuba nobomi beendaba zosasazo lwasentlalweni akuthethi ukuba umntu unokuba yi-narcissist, kodwa olu phawu lomyeni we-narcissistic sesinye isiqwenga sephazili.
10. Zihombise ngamabali kunye nempumelelo
Olunye uphawu lwendoda okanye inkosikazi ye-narcissistic yindlela ababelana ngayo ngamabali abo kunye nokuphumelela kunye (okanye kwimeko ye-narcissists) abanye.
Sukundilahlekisa; Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokuba noluvo lokufezekisa okuthile, kodwa, kumntu obalaselayo, la mabali kunye nempumelelo zihonjisiwe kangangokuba zinokubonakala zingakholeleki.
Ukuhonjiswa kwamabali kunye nempumelelo sisixhobo esikhohlisayo esisetyenziswa ngabantu be-narcissists ukwenza ukuba abantu babathande.
Kwinqanaba eliyingozi ngakumbi, Banokukusebenzisa ukukuqhatha ukuze ukholelwe ukuba uneenkumbulo ezingezizo, ebizwa ngokuba 'kukukhanya kwegesi.'
11. Iimfuno zakhe zingaphezulu kwezinye
Umtshato ngamaxesha amaninzi ulungelelwaniso apho ubeka amaqabane akho kwiimfuno zakho ngaphezulu kweyakho njengendlela yokubonisa uthando lwakho nokuzinikela kwabo kubo.
Nangona kunjalo, yonke into ebomini ye-narcissist ijikeleze iimfuno zakhe. Bonwabile okoko nje iimfuno zabo ziyafezekiswa. Nokuba oko kuthetha ukuba kuya kufuneka usokole okanye ungadeleli ngobomi bakho.
12. Akukho mbeko kwimida yomntu
Umtshato unemigaqo, kwaye le mithetho yenza ukuba abantu ababini bakhululeke (kuvakala kuyinto engacacanga), kodwa xa ucinga ngako, kuyinyani.
Ukuba utshatile nendoda exambulisayo, akukho mithetho, kwaye ngenxa yokuba uyayithanda, baya kusebenzisa olu thando onalo ukuze bazikhulule kuyo nayiphi na imigaqo okanye imida yobuqu onayo kuba, ngapha koko, "ingaphezulu" yiyo.
Ukungayihloniphi imida yakho lolunye uphawu lokuba utshatile kwi-narcissist.
13. Akukho nikezela kwaye uthathe
Ngenxa yokuba I-narcissist iwutyeshela owona mthetho-siseko 'wokulalanisa' emtshatweni, Banokuswela uvelwano lokulungisa imibingelelo yakho.
Kubo, akukho kunikwa kunye nokuthatha ubudlelwane bakho, kwaye kuya kufuneka ukuba babe sisiseko sayo yonke ingqalelo.
14. Ukuguquguquka kobushushu
Ngaba uziva utsaliwe kwaye utyhalelwe kude liqabane lakho rhoqo? Ukuba uphendule ngokuthi 'ewe,' ungatshata nomntu othanda izinto ezingekhoyo.
Ukuziphatha okushushu nokubandayo yindlela yokukukhohlisa kwiindlela zabo zokuzixhasa.
Iqabane lakho lisenokukuthanda-ngebhombu namhlanje, nangomso, abayi kuyithatha ifowuni xa ubabiza.
Ukuba uyakuqaphela oku okanye iipateni ezifanayo, iqabane lakho likuthobela ukomeleza okomzuzwana, okwenza ukuba uthande, ufune, kwaye ubathande nangakumbi.
15. Uziphatha njengomntwana omncinane
Njengoko sikhula kwaye siqonda ngakumbi ngokusingqongileyo, sifunda ukuziqamba. Olu phawu luyangqinwa, ngakumbi xa singakufumani oko sikulangazelelayo.
Kumntu obhala iziyobisi, nangona kunjalo, yonke into yeyam. Baya kuhamba nakweyiphi na ubude, baphose umsindo, badlale, okanye benze indawo ukuba abafumani nto bayifunayo okanye ukuba awuvumelani nabo.
16. Awunakufihla ixesha elide
Umtshato kukuzibophelela okunzulu kangangokuba nkqu narcissist okrelekrele kakhulu ngekhe akwazi ukufihla imeko yabo yokwenyani.
Ukuba umtshato wakho ubonakalisa naluphi na ulwalamano lobuhlobo, ekuhambeni kwexesha, luya kubonakala elubala. Ke, kulungile ukuthatha ixesha lakho kwaye ungagxeki kwiqabane lakho kwakamsinya.
Banike ixesha, kwaye ekugqibeleni, uya kwazi ukuba ngoobani obucinga ukuba bangabo.
17. Ubunzima obuphezulu
Andiqinisekanga ukuba wazi njani ukuba utshatile kwi-narcissist? Ewe, bayakholelwa ukuba bangcono kunaye wonke umntu?
Ukuba ewe, emva koko unokutshata ne-narcissist.
Banxulumana ngamandla nomntu onengqondo ephezulu kunabanye abakungqongileyo.
Nangona banokusikelelwa ngobulumko obuninzi, kodwa bayakucaphuka xa abantu bengabathathi njengomntu ongaphezulu kwabo.
18. Andinakuma ngokugxekwa
Ngenxa yokuba i-narcissist ine-ego edumbileyo, ukukwazi kwabo ukwamkela ukugxekwa kuya kuba yinto encinci kuye. Naluphi na uhlobo lokugxeka alunamkelwa nguye, kwaye ukuba umntu uyamgxeka, lusenokumenza abe nomsindo kakhulu.
19. Ungaze uthathe uxanduva
Kumntu owenza iziyobisi 'ayilotyala lakhe'. Ungalindelanga ukuba iqabane lakho elithandanayo lithathe uxanduva ngezenzo zabo.
Nokuba kungumcimbi emsebenzini, kunye nomhlobo, okanye nasekhaya, baya kuya kubude obukhulu ukuze bangaxolisi kwaye babenazo iimpazamo zabo.
20. Ukulawula into engaqhelekanga
Ukubiza iqabane lakho 'ukulawula' ngexesha lokuxabana yinto eninzi eyenzileyo; Nokuba ayiyonyani, asihlali siqonda ukuba ngexesha leengxabano zethu.
Nangona kunjalo, ngendoda ye-narcissistic okanye inkosikazi ye-narcissistic, eli gama linyani ngokukhawuleza okukhulu. Ubume bokulawula kweqabane elithandanayo linokukhokelela kubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo ekhaya.