Umxholo
- Ubudlelwane obuxhomekekileyo abufanelanga nakubani na
- 1. Unesidingo esinamandla sokufuna 'ukulungisa' iqabane lakho
- 2. Uqala ukugcwalisa izikhewu njengoko iqabane lakho libuyela umva
- 3. Ubingelela kwaye ulahlekelwe yimida yakho yonke
- 4. Usoloko ufuna ukucela imvume kuyo yonke into encinci
Uthando luyinto entle. Imnandi kwaye iyonwabisa ngokukodwa xa abantu ababini abathandana ngokwenene bethandana kunye. Nangona kunjalo, kukho amaxesha apho olu thando luxhatshazwa kwaye lutshatyalaliswe yimfuno ezingenakwenzeka kwaphela.
Cinga ngemeko yabantu ababini abaneempawu zobuntu ezingasebenzi kakuhle abenza umtshato. Into ethi qatha engqondweni mhlawumbi sisiphithiphithi. Kodwa, isenokungabi sisiphithiphithi ngqo. Yiyo ke indlela ekwaziswa ngayo ubudlelwane bokuxhomekeka.
Kwenzeka ntoni kuxhomekeko yimeko yomntu omnye okanye iqabane elincama ngaphezulu ukuxhasa ubudlelwane kunaye omnye.
Kwaye, kwiimeko ezininzi kubandakanya ubudlelwane bezothando, elinye iqabane lifuna ukunakekelwa okugqithisileyo kunye nenkxaso yengqondo, ekunokwenzeka ukuba idityaniswe nokugula okukhoyo okanye umlutha obangela ukuxhomekeka.
Ubudlelwane obuxhomekekileyo abufanelanga nakubani na
Izibini zingena kuyo kuba enye okanye zombini zinobuntu obungasebenzi nto leyo ethi ekugqibeleni ibenze bobabini ubomi bube mandundu.
Umzekelo weklasikhi wobudlelwane obuxhomekeke kwimeko yabantu ababandakanyekayo kwii-narcissists. Abantu abanjalo baya kuzikhelela ekunikeni nasekunikeni, okungaze kukhule ukoneliseka kuba elinye iqabane liqhubeka nokutshintsha iiposti kwaye lenze amabango angekho ngqiqweni.
Iziphumo zokugqibela lixhoba litshisiwe ngokupheleleyo.
Ubudlelwane obuphilileyo bubonelela ngemeko apho kukho ulungelelwaniso phakathi kokukwazi ukuzimela kweqabane ngalinye kunye nemfuno yokuncedana.
Umzuzu wokulinganisela ukhutshiwe, izinto ziyaxakaniseka. Ke, yintoni enokubonisa ubukho bobudlelwane obuxhomekekileyo?
Apha ngezantsi kukho imiqondiso yethu emi-4 yokuxela ukuba kunokwenzeka uxhomekeke kwikhowudi:
1. Unesidingo esinamandla sokufuna 'ukulungisa' iqabane lakho
Ekuphela kwendlela yokwazi okanye yokuvavanya ukuba oku kuyenzeka kuwe kukujonga oku kulandelayo:
- Wenza konke ukuzincama ukuxhasa iqabane lakho
- Unemvakalelo eyomeleleyo yokuba ulahlekile kwaye ufuna imvume yeqabane lakho ukuze uzive uphilile.
Xa uqaphela oku kungasentla kuya kuba bubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla, kuya kufuneka kukhala intsimbi engqondweni yakho malunga nokuxhomekeka.
Ubudlelwane obusempilweni bukhula ngokuthembana, ukuhloniphana nokunyaniseka phakathi kwamaqabane emanyano.
Kwimeko yokuxhomekeka kwikhowudi, iqabane okanye bobabini banobuntu obubaqhuba ukuba babe ngabantu-abakholisa. Baziva bonwabile kuphela ngokunceda abanye okanye ngamanye amaxesha ukuhombisa iingcinga zokuba bakwazi ukulungisa abanye.
Ukuxhomekeka kweekhowudi kuya kuqhuba umntu ukuya kuthi xhaxhe ngokungakwazi ukuzinakekela kwaye endaweni yoko abakhathalele abanye, okanye, abaqinisekise ukuba ukuzixabisa kwabo kuxhomekeke kubo.
2. Uqala ukugcwalisa izikhewu njengoko iqabane lakho libuyela umva
Kulula kakhulu ukuqikelela ubukho bokuxhomekeka kubudlelwane xa ubona iqabane lizama ukuthatha uxanduva lokunxibelelana nokugcina unxibelelana.
Oku kuyaziveza xa elinye iqabane libuya umva okanye lirhoxisa ixesha lalo, umgudu kunye nokhathalelo ekufuneka belinikile, banyanzela elinye iqabane ukuba lixhoba lokuxhomekeka ukuze lihambe umgama owongezelelweyo kwaye lisebenze nzima kakhulu ukugcwalisa izikhewu ukuze ubudlelwane buhlale.
Ngokukhawuleza, ubudlelwane buhamba buye kwicala elingalunganga lokuxhomekeka kwikhowudi.
3. Ubingelela kwaye ulahlekelwe yimida yakho yonke
Imida iphilile kakhulu ukuba nayo kuwo onke amanqanaba obomi. Nangona kunjalo, kumntu oxhomekeke kwikhowudi, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ligama elingengcwele abangakwaziyo ukulixhasa.
Olunye uphawu oluxhaphakileyo phakathi kwabantu abaxhomekekileyo kukuba abanamida.
Baxhalabile kakhulu kwaye banoxanduva kwabanye.Abantu abanjalo banokubeka ubuso obomeleleyo, kodwa ingxaki kukusilela kwabo kwemida. Baphosa yonke into enxulumene nabo kwaye banxibe isihlangu somnye.
Kulungile ukuba bangahlonitshwa kuba balixabisile ibali lomnye kunesifundo sabo kwaye bakulungele ukulahla yonke imida yabo. Abantu abaxhomekeke kwiikhowudi abanayo imida okanye abanalwazi malunga nesidingo sokuba nemida eqinileyo nakubantu ababakhathaleleyo.
Ukuba uzifumanisa ukule phakheji, ngokuqinisekileyo ukwisibambiso sokuxhomekeka.
4. Usoloko ufuna ukucela imvume kuyo yonke into encinci
NgokukaCatenya McHenry, Umbhali we “Utshatile kwiNarcissist,” ukusoloko unesidingo sokucela imvume okanye ukuvunywa kwiqabane lakho lobudlelwane ukwenza izinto ezisisiseko zemihla ngemihla kwaye unemvakalelo eyomeleleyo yokuba awunakwenza nesigqibo esilula ngaphandle kokubonisana neqabane lakho, kubonisa iimpawu eziqinisekileyo zokuxhomekeka.
Enye indlela yokuzivavanya kukujonga amanqanaba okuzithemba kwakho ngaphambi nasemva komanyano. Ukuba kukho ukungangqinelani kwaye ufumanisa ukuba uzele kukungathandabuzeki malunga nawe, ukuzixabisa kwaye awunakuthatha zigqibo, kukho amathuba amakhulu obudlelwane bokuxhomekeka emtshatweni wakho.
Kananjalo, ukuba nasemva kokuba wohlukene neqabane elilawulayo usaziva kwaye uyakholelwa ukuba uyabafuna, uyaxhomekeka kwikhowudi.
Uluhlu lwebhonasi
Oku kungasentla zizimpawu eziqinisekileyo zokuxhomekeka.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuxhomekeka kwikhowudi kuyaziveza ngeendlela ezininzi abanye abantu abanokungaqondi xa bekunye. Apha ngezantsi luluhlu olufutshane olongezelelekileyo lwamazwe anokukucebisa malunga nokuba kubudlelwane obuxhomekekileyo.
- Uziva ungenabomi bazimeleyo
- Uphulukene nonxibelelwano nosapho lwakho okanye abantu ababekade bebaluleke kakhulu kuwe kwaye bengashukunyiswa ixesha elide
- Uhlala ujonge ukuqinisekiswa kuyo yonke into encinci malunga nawe kwiqabane lakho
- Iqabane lakho linemikhwa engafanelekanga, kwaye uyajoyina okanye ulonwabise ngezizathu zakho
Ukuxhomekeka kwi-Codific imeko eyoyikekayo kwaye ayikhuthazwa nakubani na. Ukwahlukana nayo kufuna ukuba uqale uyazi ukuba ibonakalisa njani. Le ingentla yindawo ebalaseleyo yokuvavanya ubudlelwane bakho.
IiAdios kunye nobudlelwane obonwabisayo.