Ngaba Ufanele Uhlale okanye Ufanele Ushiye Ubudlelwane?

Umxholo

• Ukufuna ukubonwa, ukuviwa, ukuqondwa kwaye ngaphezu kwako konke, ukuthandwa
• UShelley, 59, waphelisa ubudlelwane beminyaka eli-10 emva kweminyaka yokuziva engakhathalelwanga
• UPhilip, 51, uphelise umtshato wakhe weminyaka engama-25 emva kweminyaka eli-15 engabelani ngesondo
• UKristiana, 32, wayenomlingane owayehlukumeza ngokweemvakalelo

Ngamanye amaxesha kulula ukwazi ukuba ubudlelwane buphelile kwaye kufuneka ubuphelise.

Kukho ulwaphulo lwentembeko okanye ubundlobongela ngokwasemzimbeni. Kunokubakho ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi okukulimazayo kunye nentlalo-ntle yabantwana bakho. Iziyobisi zomlingane wakho azisanyamezeleki ke ngoko ukuphelisa ubudlelwane ngokucacileyo yeyona nto ilungileyo kuwe.

Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha ukuphelisa ubudlelwane akulula kangako. Akukho mntu ucacileyo, ongenakoyiswa owenza ukwahlula ukhetho olusengqiqweni. Ngelixa iimvakalelo zakho omnye komnye zingasafani nokuba zazinjalo kwiintsuku zokuqala, akukho nzondo okanye ubutshaba phakathi kwenu nobabini.

Kodwa anisathethi malunga nayo nayiphi na into enentsingiselo, kwaye nobabini nihlala kakhulu njengabantu enihlala kunye kunesibini esithandanayo. Okwangoku, ixesha ngalinye ucinga ngokuphelisa ubudlelwane uyathandabuza.

Ukufuna ukubonwa, ukuviwa, ukuqondwa kwaye ngaphezu kwako konke, ukuthandwa

Awuqinisekanga ukuba uza kutsala iqabane elingcono, kwaye awazi ukuba unayo kuwe ukuze uphume kuyo yonke into yokuthandana kwakhona.

Makhe sive kwabanye abantu abaye bathatha isigqibo sokuphelisa ubudlelwane babo obungenampilo okanye ukungazalisekisi ubudlelwane babo.

Babuphelisile ubudlelwane obungabuphuculiyo ubomi kwaye bathatha umngcipheko wokubona ukuba banokufumana iqabane elitsha, elinokubenza bazive bebonwa, beviwe, beqondwa kwaye ngaphezu kwabo bonke, bethandwa.

UShelley, 59, waphelisa ubudlelwane beminyaka eli-10 emva kweminyaka yokuziva engakhathalelwanga

“Emva koqhawulo-mtshato, xa ndandihamba ndisiya esidlangalaleni malunga nendlela elihlala limphoxa ngayo iqabane lam, abantu bandibuza ukuba kutheni ndingabuphelisi kwangoko ubudlelwane.

Ndikholelwe, ndizibuza umbuzo omnye ngalo lonke ixesha. Ndichithe iminyaka emihlanu yobomi bam. Ndiyathetha ukuba iminyaka emihlanu yokuqala yobudlelwane bethu yayilungile, nokuba yayimnandi ngamanye amaxesha. Kodwa emva koko, wandithatha nje kancinci. Wayelindele ukuba ndenze yonke into ndedwa, ndingaze ndiye nam ukuyokuthenga ukutya okanye ukuya kumdlalo webhola ekhatywayo womntwana.

Wahlala nje endlini, ebukele itv okanye edlala kwikhompyuter yakhe. Ndizama ukumxelela ukuba ndiziva ndililolo kwaye ndingonwabanga kodwa yonke into ebeyokuthi "yile ndlela ndiyiyo. Ukuba awuyithandi, sukuhlala. ”

Ndithetha ukuba ngubani lo utshoyo?

Kodwa andisifumani isibindi sokuphuma, hayi kule minyaka yam. Ndiza kujonga abanye abantu abangatshatanga, abaneminyaka ephakathi kwaye ndicinge ukuba ubuncinci ndinomntu, nokuba ebengenguye owoyikisayo.

Kodwa ngenye imini ndandinayo nje.

Bendisazi ukuba kufuneka ndiyiphelisile le meko ibulala ubomi. Ndifanele ngcono.

Ndabona kungcono ukuba ndindodwa ukuze ndibenomntu ozicingela yedwa.

Ndemka ke. Ndichithe unyaka omnye kunyango, ndizisebenza. Ukuchaza into endiyifunayo kwaye andizukuzinza kubudlelwane. Emva koko ndaqala ukuthandana kwakhona. Ekugqibeleni ndadibana nendoda emnandi ngokusebenzisa indawo yokuthandana, kwaye ngoku sibhiyozela unyaka-1 wethu.

Ndonwabile ukuba ndizihloniphile kwaye andihlalanga kolu lwalamano luphakathi. Ndilindelwe yinto ebhetele! ”

UPhilip, 51, uphelise umtshato wakhe weminyaka engama-25 emva kweminyaka eli-15 engabelani ngesondo

Kwakungekho lula isigqibo kum. Ndandimthanda umfazi wam. Ndibathanda abantwana bethu kunye neyunithi yosapho.

Ukusuka ngaphandle, wonke umntu wayecinga ukuba sisibini esifanelekileyo. Kodwa sayeka ukulala ngesondo malunga ne-15 kwiminyaka edlulileyo. Ekuqaleni uthando lwethu lwentlobo luyancipha kubuninzi bayo. Ndifumanise ukuba yinto eqhelekileyo leyo. Ndithetha ukuba abantwana bebethatha amandla omfazi wam kwaye bendiqonda ukuba udiniwe ebusuku.

Kodwa 'isini esincinci' saya 'akukho kwesini'.

Ndizamile ukuthetha nomfazi wam ngale nto kodwa wandivala umlomo. Ude wandixelela ukuba ndingaya kubona ihenyukazi ukuba ndifuna ukulala ngesondo, kodwa ebengenamdla kwaphela kuleyo yomtshato wethu. Ndihleli ke kuba bendenze isifungo sokulunga nokubi.

Kodwa ke, xa ndijika i-50 ndazixelela ukuba andinayo eminye iminyaka emininzi ukonwabela ukwenza uthando. Emva kokuzama kaninzi-ninzi ukuze umfazi wam abone umntu osebenza ngesondo kunye nam, nokwala kwakhe ukwenza njalo, ndawuyeka umtshato ndibuhlungu kakhulu.

Emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa, abahlobo bam bandibeka kunye nomfazi omkhulu. Umfazi onomdla wesondo ufana nowam. Uyayithanda indawo ebonakalayo kulwalamano lwethu kwaye ndiziva ngathi ndingumntu okwishumi elivisayo kwakhona. Isigqibo sam sokuphelisa ulwalamano lwam lwangaphambili kwakungelula, kodwa ndiyavuya kuba ndisenzile.

Ubomi bufutshane kakhulu ukuba uhambe ngaphandle kwesondo.

UKristiana, 32, wayenomlingane owayehlukumeza ngokweemvakalelo

`` Ukutshata kwam noBoris, ndandisazi ukuba ngamanye amaxesha wayekhe abe rhabaxa, kodwa andikaze ndijonge kuye ukuba abe ngumntu oxhaphazayo ngokweemvakalelo namhlanje.

Ngaphezulu kweminyaka elishumi sitshatile, uye wandigxeka ngakumbi, inkangeleko yam, ukuthanda kwam, kwanosapho lwam kunye nenkolo yam. Undithimbile kuwo wonke umntu endimthandayo, engandivumeli ukuba ndiye kubona umama notata eBulgaria naxa umama egula.

Undixelele ukuba abandithandi, kwaye akukho mntu uza kundithanda njengaye.

Ngokusisiseko, wandenza ukuba ndicinge ukuba andixabisekanga. Undixelele ukuba ndingaze ndimshiye, andisoze ndifumane omnye umntu, ukuba ndimbi kwaye ndisisidenge. Kodwa ngenye imini ndandifunda amanqaku e-intanethi awayejolise kwabasetyhini abaxhatshazwayo ngokweemvakalelo kwaye ndaziqonda.

Kwacaca gca,Kwafuneka ndibuphelise obu budlelwane bunetyhefu isitayile = "ubungakanani befonti: 400;">. Ndifanele iqabane elingcono.

Ndizilungiselele ngokufihlakeleyo ndaza ndaqhawula umtshato. Oo, uBoris wayenomsindo, kunjalo, kodwa ndema ndiqinile. Kwaye ngoku ndiziva njengam kwakhona. Ndikhululekile. Ndithandana namadoda alungileyo, kwaye, okona kubaluleke kakhulu, andiselulo usapho kunye nabahlobo. Ndiziva ndirhabaxa! ”

Ukufunda ngakumbi malunga nokuba ubuphelisa nini ubudlelwane, funda eli nqaku liluncedo.