Umxholo
- 1. “Ndiyoyika ukuba kuya kwenzeka ntoni xa ndihamba.”
- 2. “Akukho nto imbi kangako, ngokwenene.”
- 3. "Kufuneka sihlale kunye silungiselela abantwana."
- 4. "Andinakuze ndibenemali ukuba ndingahamba."
- 5. “Ndisathemba ukuba izinto ziza kuphucuka.”
- 6. “Andinakujamelana nehlazo lokuqhawula umtshato.”
- 7. “Kuninzi kakhulu endifuna ukukulahla.”
Kanye njengokuthatha isigqibo sokutshata linyathelo elikhulu, ke isigqibo sokuwuyeka. Nokuba izinto azihambi ngendlela obuthembele ngayo kwaye uphuphe ngayo, ayisiyonto ilula ukwahlukana nokushiya.
Ke kwenzeka ntoni ukuba abantu bahlale kwaye bagcine ukuhlala kubudlelwane obungonwabisiyo okanye ugcine ukuhlala kumtshato ongonwabanga.
Wonke umntu ojikeleze esi sibini uyabona ukuba isibini sihlala kubudlelwane obungonwabisiyo, kodwa amaxesha amaninzi izibini ngokwazo zisenokukwazi ukufumana zonke izizathu zokuhlala, okanye mhlawumbi izizathu zokungasuki kubudlelwane obungonwabisiyo.
Eli nqaku liza kuthetha ngezizathu ezisixhenxe zokuba kutheni izibini ezingonwabanga zihlala kunye okanye kutheni abantu behlala kwimitshato engonwabanga.
Ukuba ulwalamano olungonwabisiyo, unokuziqonda ezinye zazo, kwaye mhlawumbi oku kungakunika ukucaca malunga nokuba ukuhlala kubudlelwane obungonwabisiyo kufanelekile kwaye nokuba izinto zinokuphucuka ngokuhamba kwexesha okanye hayi.
1. “Ndiyoyika ukuba kuya kwenzeka ntoni xa ndihamba.”
Isizathu sokuqala sokuba izibini zihlale kwimitshato engonwabisiyo "Uloyiko".
Uloyiko olucacileyo nolulula mhlawumbi sesona sizathu sokugcina abantu bevalelekile. Le yimvakalelo yokwenene kwaye isemthethweni, ngakumbi xa kufikwa kuloyiko lwento engaziwayo. Ukuba ishiywe ingakhange iqatshelwe, uloyiko lunokukhula kwinqanaba lokucacisa.
Kulabo bahlala kubundlobongela, kuyaziwa ukuba iqabane elinomsindo linokufuna ukuziphindezela, elinokuthi lixabise iqabane elibalekileyo ubomi balo. Ke bazifumana bekwimeko apho bakhoyo kumtshato ongonwabanga kodwa awukwazi ukushiya
Kuya kuhlala kukho umngcipheko obandakanyekayo xa ugqiba ubudlelwane, nokuba ungonwabanga kangakanani. Ke ngoko ayisiyo isigqibo sokuthathwa kancinci, kodwa ukulinganisa ngobunono ujonge ukhetho lwakho.
Chonga uloyiko lwakho nganye nganye kwaye uzame ukuvumela uloyiko lokuba kubudlelwane obungonwabisiyo ubomi bakho bonke lugqithe abanye.
2. “Akukho nto imbi kangako, ngokwenene.”
Ukukhanyela iqhinga olithandayo ukuba ufuna ukwazi ukuba uhlala kanjani utshatile xa ungonwabanga.
Ukuba wenza ngathi akukubi kangako, mhlawumbi uya kuziva ungcono. Kwaye ngapha koko, lonke ulwalamano lunengxaki ethile, ke mhlawumbi umtshato wakho uqhelekile kwaye awufani nezinye izibini ezitshatileyo ezingonwabanga?
Mhlawumbi ayisiyonto imbi kwimeko apho unokuqhubeka uqhubeka. Kodwa mhlawumbi kukho ilizwi elincinci kwindawo ethile ezantsi ngaphakathi, lizama ukuviwa njengoko lisithi 'ngokuqinisekileyo le ayondlela ekufanele ukuba yiyo?'
Ukuba uziva njalo, qala ukwenza uphando. Buza ujikeleze nabahlobo bakho kunye nabantu obaziyo ukuba ubudlelwane babo bunjani.
Mhlawumbi uyakumangaliswa kukufumanisa ukuba ezinye zezinto ezenzeka emtshatweni wakho aziqhelekanga, kwaye akumangalisi ukuba ungonwabi.
3. "Kufuneka sihlale kunye silungiselela abantwana."
Nokuba ungazama kangakanani ukuyiguqula, abantwana bakho baya kwazi ukuba awonwabanga njengesibini. Abantwana banolwazelelelo kakhulu kwaye banengqiqo, kwaye kubonakala ngathi baneradar ekhethekileyo yokuphucula ubumnene okanye uhanahaniso.
Ukuba uzama ukubafundisa ukuba "umtshato ulungile kwaye wonwabile" ngelixa uhlala, "Ndiyakucaphukela ukuba kunye nomnye umzali wakho, kwaye ndiyayikhupha" musa ukulindela ukuba bafumane umyalezo.
Ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo bazakufumanisa ukuba “yonke imitshato ayonwabanga, kungoko nam ndinganikezela ngelinye ixesha.”
Phinda ujonge ngononophelo nokuba izibonelelo zomzimba, ezisebenzayo kunye nezemali ezinokufunyanwa ngabantwana bakho ukuba uhlala kunye aziphazanyiswa okanye zonakaliswe kukuswela uthando lokwenene kunye nomoya wobutshaba ekhayeni lakho.
4. "Andinakuze ndibenemali ukuba ndingahamba."
Ezezimali sesinye sezizathu ezibangela ukuba izibini ezingonwabanga zihlale kunye. Ukuba uyemka, kuyakufuneka uthobe umgangatho wakho wokuphila, kwaye awusayi kuphinda ukwazi ukonwabela indlela yokuphila oqheleyo.
Mhlawumbi iqabane lakho belisoloko lingumboneleli ophambili wengeniso, kwaye ukushiya kuya kuthetha ukuba kuya kufuneka uphinde ungene kwimarike yomsebenzi emva kweminyaka emininzi yokwenza ikhaya.
Eli lithemba eliyinyani ngokwenene elinokubangela ukuthandabuza okukhulu. Okanye mhlawumbi sele uhlawula isondlo kunye ne-alimony kuqhawulo-mtshato lwangaphambili, kwaye ngekhe ubenakho ukufumana enye ibhetshi efumaneke ngaphezulu kwelo.
Ezi zezona nkxalabo zokwenyani ekufuneka ziqwalaselwe ngononophelo.
5. “Ndisathemba ukuba izinto ziza kuphucuka.”
Kuhle kakhulu ukuba nethemba, kwaye yile nto esigcina sihamba kwiindawo ezininzi ezinzima. Kodwa ukuba unyanisekile kwisiqu sakho, ngaba uyayibona ngokwenyani imiqondiso, nokuba incinci kangakanani, yotshintsho olulungileyo kubudlelwane bakho?
Okanye ngaba usilwa iimfazwe ezifanayo niziphindaphinda? Ngaba ukhe wambona umcebisi okanye ugqirha? Okanye iqabane lakho liyala ukuya kufuna uncedo kuba nguwe ofuna ukutshintsha, hayi bona?
Izakuthatha ntoni yiza ne ukuphucula ubudlelwane bakho, kwaye uzimisele ukulinda ixesha elingakanani ngelixa uhlala kubudlelwane obungonwabisiyo?
6. “Andinakujamelana nehlazo lokuqhawula umtshato.”
Ukuba uvela kwimvelaphi yolondolozo apho igama elithi 'uqhawulo-mtshato' liphantse libe sisithuko, ke ingcinga yokuba uqhawula umtshato ngokwakho inokubonakala njengeyona nto imbi inokwenzeka.
Ngandlela thile unokucinga ukuba xa uqhawula umtshato, kuvela 'iD' ebomvu enkulu ebunzi ebhengeza kulo lonke ihlabathi ukuba umtshato wakho awuphumelelanga.
Oku akuyonyani, kwaye ngombulelo kule mihla Ibala lokuqhawula umtshato liyaphela ngokukhawuleza.
Ewe kunjalo, uqhawulo-mtshato ngamava athobisa kwaphela, kodwa xa usazi ukuba uyenzela wena, akunamsebenzi ukuba abanye bazakucinga ntoni okanye bathethe ntoni.
7. “Kuninzi kakhulu endifuna ukukulahla.”
Lo ngowona mbuzo usezantsi ofuna ukuwuzinzisa engqondweni yakho. Thatha iphepha uze uzobe umgca usezantsi.
Kwikholamu yokuqala, yenza uluhlu lwezinto oza kuphulukana nazo ukuba uyahamba, kwaye kwikholam yesibini, dwelisa izinto oza kuphulukana nazo ukuba uyahlala. Ngoku jonga ngononophelo kwiikholamu ezimbini kwaye ubone ukuba leliphi icala elinobunzima.
Ayimalunga nenani lamagama okanye ungeniso. Ngapha koko, inokuba inye kuphela into engenayo kwikholamu yesibini ethi 'ingqondo yam iphilile.' Kuxhomekeka ekubeni zeziphi iindlela iingcebiso zesikali, kuya kufuneka wenze isigqibo.
Emva koko qhubela phambili ngolweyiseko nangokuzimisela, kwaye ungajongi emva.