Umxholo
- 1. Yiba "inombolo yokuqala" omnye komnye
- 2.Lithande iqabane lakho
- 3. Yazi ukuba umntu ngamnye ngumntu ngamnye
- 4. Umtshato mawube phambili
- 5. Ukwabelana ngenzala kunye nobusuku bemini ziyimfuneko
- 6. Intlonipho ngawo onke amaxesha
- 7. Yabelanani ngexesha njengezithandani nanjengabantu ngabanye
- 8. Funda ukusombulula ingxaki ungavuthiwe kwaye uhloniphekile
- 9. Iindlela zokuzinyamekela ziyafuneka kwiqabane ngalinye
- 10. Umtshato olungileyo ubandakanya ixesha nomsebenzi
- 11. Ukuhlekisa kubalulekile kumtshato ophumelelayo
Xa umtshato ungazinzanga, xa ukusetyenziswa kotywala neziyobisi kuye kwaba yingxaki, naxa kukho ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwesondo, okanye ngokweemvakalelo, okanye ngokudibana, okanye xa ilizwi elinamandla ngaphakathi kuwe likhwaza, “Ndenze impazamo eyoyikekayo. ekukhetheni iqabane, ”ukubonisana nomqeqeshi oqeqeshiweyo kunye nelayisenisi kubaluleke kakhulu. Kukwabalulekile xa abazali besibini bengena ngaphakathi kwaye befuna ngenkani, oko kubangela ukungavisisani phakathi kwesibini abangenako ukusombulula, emva koko bajikelane.
Oko kwathethi, xa kukho umnqweno wabo bobabini amaqabane wokulungisa okubonakala ngathi kwaphukile okanye kulahlekile, kukho iimbono zomtshato ezenza lula kwaye ziphelise iingxabano ezininzi zomtshato ezibuhlungu, eziphazamisayo kwaye ezibonakala zikhokelela kungxabano ngakumbi.
Iindlela ezilishumi elinanye-iindlela ezivavanyiweyo zokujonga nokuphathana-ukugcina umtshato wakho ngokwakho. Ukutshintsha ngokwethu nokwamkela izimo zengqondo ezifanelekileyo kunokusebenza kakhulu ukugcina kunye nokuphucula umtshato. Kungakuhle ukuba amaqabane angafunda kwaye axoxe kunye.
1. Yiba "inombolo yokuqala" omnye komnye
Abanye abazali kunye nabayeni kunye nabafazi, ngakumbi kwimitshato eselula, banobunzima kolu tshintsho luyimfuneko lokunyaniseka. Oku akuthethi ukuba izibini zinelayisensi yokuba krwada kunye nokugxotha abazali. Oko kuthetha ukuba bafuna ixesha kunye nendawo yokuzikhethela ubomi babo.
2.Lithande iqabane lakho
Qonda umahluko phakathi "kokuthandana" kunye neqabane lakho kunye nokuthanda iqabane lakho. Ukuba "sothandweni" yimeko apho umntu adibana khona nomnye obonakala ngathi ugcwalisa iphupha, ithemba, ulangazelelo. Kukho ukuphakama okumangalisayo kwaye okukhulu xa ucinga ngomntu, uloyiko oluhlabayo lokuba umntu uya kulahleka, kunye nemvakalelo yokugcoba xa ukunye naye. Kodwa cinga ngako: Xa imeko yokuthandana isenzeka, omnye akayazi (ngesiqhelo) enye. Imvakalelo inento yokwenza nawe kuphela. Ngapha koko, umntu akanakuphila ngokungapheliyo kule bubble kwaye aqhubeke nokucinga, ukusebenza, ukucwangcisa kunye nokugxila. Itya kakhulu, iyadinisa! Uthando lukhula njengoko umntu esiya esazi, ehlonipha, kwaye ethemba iqabane njengoko kunye kunye niphuhlisa imbali yokunyaniseka, ubudlelwane,
Uthando lukhula njengoko umntu esazi, ehlonipha kwaye ethemba iqabane njengoko kunye kunye niphuhlisa imbali yokunyaniseka, ubuqabane, ukuxabisa, kunye nezinto enizithandayo. Kule yokugqibela, umntu usenamaxesha apho "ukuthandana" yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yonxibelelwano; kodwa ayisiyiyo, kwaye ayinakuba, yimeko engaguquguqukiyo yobukho.
3. Yazi ukuba umntu ngamnye ngumntu ngamnye
Yazi ukuba wena neqabane lakho ningabantu ababini abahlukeneyo, hayi umntu omnye. Kubalulekile ukuba ungalindeli ukuba iqabane lakho lihlale lisecaleni kwakho ngexesha lasimahla, okanye kwisivumelwano rhoqo kuzo zonke izifundo. Oku kuthethiwe, nceda ufunde uqhubeke.
4. Umtshato mawube phambili
Izinto ezintathu eziyimfuneko zenza ulwalamano lomtshato: umntu ngamnye kunye nobudlelwane bomtshato ngokwawo. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba izibini zijonge ubudlelwane bazo njengezinto eziphilayo, ekufuneka zondliwe, zijongwe, kwaye kutyalwe imali kuzo. Oku akunakwenzeka ngaphandle kwexesha kunye nokuzinikela.
5. Ukwabelana ngenzala kunye nobusuku bemini ziyimfuneko
Kukwabalulekile kwizibini ukuba zenze izinto kunye abazonwabisayo bobabini, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha bathathe inxaxheba kunye kwimisebenzi umntu ayonwabele ngakumbi kunenye. Nanini na xa kunokwenzeka ubusuku ngokuhlwa ngeveki ezinikele omnye komnye, ubusuku obuqhelekileyo bomhla, kubaluleke kakhulu kwaye buyazalisa. Ewe, kunzima ebantwaneni ekhaya, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha akukho lula ukwenza uhlahlo-lwabiwo mali. Nangona kunjalo, ezinye izibini zixhomekeke kumalungu osapho abakwaziyo ukukhathalela abantwana babo kwezi yure. Kananjalo, uninzi luphuhlisa uthungelwano lwabahlobo abakhathalele abantwana babanye kwaye ngale ndlela banika ikhefu kubazali abadiniweyo abafuna ixesha lokuphinda banxibelelane.
6. Intlonipho ngawo onke amaxesha
Kububulumko ukuba abantwana bafunde ukunkqonkqoza ngaphambi kokungena kwigumbi lokulala labazali babo, kwaye njengoko bekhula, abantwana bafanelwe yintlonelo efanayo. Esi ayisosikhokelo sibalulekileyo sokhuselo lwabucala (kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo luyimfuneko phakathi kwabantu abatshatileyo). Ngamava abalulekileyo okufunda: Ngale ndlela abantwana bafunda ukuba umntu ngamnye kusapho ngumntu ozimeleyo, kwaye baqala imfundo eyimfuneko malunga nokuhlonipha abanye abangaphandle kosapho lwabo.
7. Yabelanani ngexesha njengezithandani nanjengabantu ngabanye
Oku kubaluleke kakhulu ukuzalisa umtshato. Ukuhlwa kunye nezinye izibini kunika ukuphumla, ukuvuselela, kunye nekhefu kuxanduva. Kwakhona, okoko nje kukho ukuthembana phakathi kwesi sibini, ngokuhlwa kunye nabahlobo abazimeleyo banokunika ukuphumla kunye nekhefu kuxanduva. Oku kuthethwe, ukuba iqabane liqala ukonwabela umhlobo ngaphezu kokuba wonwabele iqabane lakhe, olu tshintsho lufuna ingcebiso.
8. Funda ukusombulula ingxaki ungavuthiwe kwaye uhloniphekile
Le yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yomtshato ophumelelayo. Abantu ababini abanakuhlala bevumelana, kwaye ukungavisisani emtshatweni akunakuphepheka. Kwaye umntu ngamnye uyafuna ukuba ulungile. (Zama ukukhumbula into eyakhe yandixelela umhlobo osisilumko: Nokuba iwotshi emisiweyo ichanekile kabini ngemini.) Ekuthethathethaneni nasekusebenziseni izimvo ezahlukileyo umntu ngamnye kufuneka avunyelwe ukuba athethe ngaphandle koloyiko kwaye ngaphandle kokuphazanyiswa.
Ukuba impixano ibandakanya ukuchitha ixesha, izibini ezikhulileyo ziyafunda ukuba ngamanye amaxesha ziyenye indlela, ngamanye amaxesha iyenye; kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kukho ukulalanisa. Ukuba ungquzulwano lubandakanya imiba yokusondelelana ("Awusoze wasivumela ukuba sisondele. Uhlala undityhala"), ulawulo ("Yonke into mayibe yindlela yakho okanye uhola wendlela") kunye nokungazalisekisi, unxibelelwano oluphazamisayo ("Awuyi Ndivumeleni ndithethe. Awuyi kuvuma ixesha lokuba sixoxe ngezinto. Imiba emibini abantu abatshatileyo abahlala bephikisana ngayo yimali kunye nokwabelana ngesondo. Xa ubunzima kunye nokuphazamiseka kwezi ndawo kungenako ukusonjululwa nokusonjululwa kunye, ingcebiso okanye unyango luyimfuneko. Kuyimfuneko ukuba kukho ukungavisisani malunga neenqobo ezisemgangathweni kunye neenqobo ezisesikweni.
9. Iindlela zokuzinyamekela ziyafuneka kwiqabane ngalinye
Ngale ndlela amandla agcinwa kwaye impilo entle yeemvakalelo kunye neyasemzimbeni iyakhuselwa. Kutshanje ndigqibe iminyaka emi-6 yophando malunga nokudinwa nokuzikhathalela. Umntu uyatshiswa xa ethwele umthwalo ongaphaya kwaye engakwazi ukwenza iindlela zokuzikhusela kwiindawo zomzimba (kubandakanya ukuphumla, ukuzilolonga, kunye nexesha lokuphumla), ubuqu (ukuqonda, ubukrelekrele, ngokomoya, kunye neemvakalelo zobomi bomntu), ubungcali (ukhuseleko, ukucebisa, ukwanelisa, njl. njl.) kunye nentlalo (ubudlelwane obusondeleyo, ubuhlobo, njl.
Indlela yokhathalelo olusebenzela enye ayizukusebenzela enye, kuba ngamnye wethu wahlukile. Ukufunda ukucinga ngamacebo “angaphandle kwebhokisi” kuyakhuthaza, kuyakhuthaza kwaye kuyonwabisa. Nangona incwadi yam, "Ukudinwa nokuzikhathalela kuMsebenzi weNtlalontle" eyavela kolu phononongo yabhalelwa abaqeqeshi bezempilo yengqondo ukubavumela ukuba bahlale emsebenzini abazinikele kuwo ngaphandle kokuphelelwa ngumsebenzi, iziphumo zifanelekile kuthi sonke . Kwiindibano zocweyo nase-ofisini yam sijonga izicwangciso-qhinga ezahlukeneyo ezisekwe kubungqina kwindawo nganye echazwe apha ngasentla kwaye sidibanisa isicwangciso sokuZinyamekela esinokuba yinxalenye yobomi obuqhubekayo. Unokufumana ngakumbi ngokuya ku www.sarakaysmullens.com.
10. Umtshato olungileyo ubandakanya ixesha nomsebenzi
Lukhetho. Umtshato ngamnye uneentsuku ezinzima kunye namaxesha anzima. Ubomi buza kubonelela ubunzima, ubunzima kunye nemiceli mngeni. Ukudibanisa kunye nobomi obugcweleyo kuya kuhlala kuhlangana nabanye abantu abanomdla, ababalulekileyo. Nangona kunjalo, umtshato owanelisayo apho ababini beqonda uvuyo lokukhusela uthando, imbeko kunye nokuzinikela sesona sipho sihle onokucinga ngaso. Sisipho izibini ezipha esinye, kwaye ziyatyetyiswa nganye nganye kwaye yonke imihla.
11. Ukuhlekisa kubalulekile kumtshato ophumelelayo
Mhlawumbi uyayazi ingoma emnandi ethi, "Send In Clowns," eyabhalwa nguStephen Sondheim ngomculo wakhe wowe-1973, "A Little Night Music." Umgca wokugqibela uthi, "Sele belapha." Singoonobumba ngasinye ekufuneka sifunde ukuhlekisa ngobuyatha bethu kunye nokuzithemba, ukuqonda ukuba kulula kangakanani ngababini abathanda ukuphulukana nonxibelelwano kwaye baphose omnye nomnye. Isibini esonwabileyo, esonwabileyo, ebesikunye ngaphezulu kweminyaka engama-50, bandixelele ukuba umtshato wabo uphumelele kuba ntsasa nganye, ngamnye kubo uzijonga esipilini kwaye athi, “Andizukuthenga nto. Ndinethamsanqa nje kumlingane endimkhethileyo ofuna ubomi nam. ”