Umxholo
- 1. Ukuhlala nabahlobo bakho kwisitulo esingasemva
- 2. Ngokubhengeza ubudlelwane
- 3. Ukunikela kakhulu ngokukhawuleza kakhulu
- 4. Isoyikiso sokuphelisa ubudlelwane kuwo wonke umlo
- 5. Ukungavumi ukuba wenze impazamo
- 6. Ukuthelekisa ubudlelwane bakho nabanye
- 7. Ukungabi nzulu
- 8. Ukuzincama ngamabhongo akho
- 9. Ukubambelela kakhulu
- 10. Ukurhuqa kulwalamano njengokubhubha
Iimpazamo ziyibhulorho phakathi kwamava kunye nenkqubo yokufunda. Impazamo yinto ebalulekileyo yokufunda, ukukhula kunye nokufumana nantoni na efanele ukuyikhumbula ebomini.
Sisoloko sithambekele ekukhumbuleni okokuqala sifumana into, ixesha lokuqala esiya ngalo esikolweni, okokuqala sihamba ngebhayisikile kwiivili ezimbini, umhlobo wethu wokuqala, umlo wokuqala osemthethweni nabazali bethu, ubuxoki bethu bokuqala.
Ubuhlobo bethu bokuqala bokuthandana
Yonke into esiyenzayo ebomini bethu, bekukho ixesha lokuqala layo. Elo xesha libalulekile kuba amaxesha amaninzi senza iimpazamo esizisola ngazo okwexeshana kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha sifunde lukhulu kuyo.
Njengoko sikhula, amava esifuna ukuqala ukwahluka.
Siqala ukukhulisa uhlobo lomtsalane othandana nabantu abathile ebomini bethu olunqabileyo kunokubangela ukudubula kwexesha elide, ubudlelwane obunempumelelo kwaye kuhlala kuphele kubuhlungu bentliziyo kwelinye okanye omabini amaqela abandakanyekayo.
Idemografi yomntu wonke, izizathu, kunye nendlela yobudlelwane iyahluka. Nangona kunjalo, kukho iimpazamo ezithile esizenzayo sonke. Iimpazamo ziphindaphindwa kangangokuba imeko inokwenziwa ngokujonga ubudlelwane bokuqala babantu abaninzi.
Ukuba unokwazi ukunxibelelana nenye okanye nangaphezulu, kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye ilungile. Esi siqwenga sokubhala senzelwe ukunceda abo banobudlelwane ekuqondeni apho baya khona ukuba benza iimpazamo ezifanayo kunye nabo banenjongo yokungena kubudlelwane ukunqanda ezi mpazamo kulwalamano olunempumelelo nolunentsingiselo.
Iimpazamo wonke umntu uzenza kubudlelwane babo bokuqala:
1. Ukuhlala nabahlobo bakho kwisitulo esingasemva
Sonke sifuna ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye neqabane lethu ngexesha lesigaba se "honeymoon" sobudlelwane- inqanaba apho kukho imvula kunye namabhabhathane, imibhalo emnandi imini yonke, ukuncoma okungapheliyo, izijekulo ezimnandi, iipeki ezincinci nayo yonke into entle.
Nangona kunjalo, ukushiya abahlobo bakho kwaye ungabaniki xesha okanye ubagcine bebandakanyekile kule khosi kunokuba yinto engathandekiyo kunye nesiyatha kwixesha elizayo.
Nokuba uziva njani eluthandweni, ufuna abahlobo bakho ukuba bakuncede kunye nolwalamano kunye nezinye iingxaki ekuhambeni kwexesha, kwaye ukuba uphulukene nazo ukuya ekuqaleni, awuzukubuyela mntu.
2. Ngokubhengeza ubudlelwane
Ukuxelela abahlobo bakho kunye nosapho kuyaqondakala kodwa ukubonakalisa uthando esidlangalaleni kunye nokuyazisa kuwo wonke amajelo eendaba kunokuba neziphumo ezibi.
Kwimeko yokwahlukana, ngoku ilizwe liphela lifuna ukwazi ukuba ngubani olahle ngubani kwaye yeyiphi eyona chai iyiyo.
3. Ukunikela kakhulu ngokukhawuleza kakhulu
Ukungxamela kubudlelwane kunye nokutyhila ngokukhawuleza kakhulu kunokususa kwinto yothusayo kunye nokuveza kade.
Njengamazwi athi "ukuqhelana kuzala indelelo" kuthetha ukuba wakube usazi okuninzi ngomntu ngexesha elifutshane kakhulu, awukulungelanga yonke imithwalo abayizisayo ekhokelela kuqhekeko lwaphambi kwexesha.
4. Isoyikiso sokuphelisa ubudlelwane kuwo wonke umlo
Ubudlelwane yinto enobuzaza kwaye isoyikisayo ukuba iza kuqhekeka kwimpikiswano nganye okanye umlo kunokubangela ukuba iimvakalelo zokwenzakala zibekho.
Iqabane lakho linokuziva ukuba uluthathe ulwalamano kunye nabo ngokungakhathali kwaye banokuluqhawula ngokwabo kuba bengaboni themba kubudlelwane.
5. Ukungavumi ukuba wenze impazamo
Ukugcina i-ego yakho ingaphezulu kobuhlobo bakho sesinye sezizathu eziphambili zokuqhekeka kule mihla nakweli xesha langoku.
6. Ukuthelekisa ubudlelwane bakho nabanye
Bonke ubudlelwane buhlukile njengabantu abakuyo kwaye ke, ukujonga abanye kunye nokuthelekisa ubudlelwane bakho nabo kunokubuchaphazela ulwalamano lwakho.
Asiziboni iingxaki abanye abantu abahlangabezana nazo kwaye boyise.
Jonga kwakhona: Ungaziphepha njani iimpazamo kubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo
7. Ukungabi nzulu
Ukulinganisa ukuthanda amaqabane akho ngesixa semathiriyeli ophuma kuso sesona sizathu sokuba ubudlelwane obuninzi buphele.
Iringi yedayimane, ifowuni entle okanye iimpahla ayingomlinganiso wothando. Ngokwengcinga leyo, ngabantu abazizityebi kuphela abaya kuba nakho ukuthanda amaqabane abo.
8. Ukuzincama ngamabhongo akho
Ngelixa ubeka phambili ubudlelwane bakho kubalulekile, ukuncama iimfuno zakho, iinjongo kunye nemigaqo kwinkqubo inokukwenzakalisa ekuhambeni kwexesha.
Jolisa kwikamva lakho kwaye ungavumeli nantoni na ize endleleni yeenjongo zakho zexesha elide.
9. Ukubambelela kakhulu
Ukuncamathisela kungokwemvelo kulo naluphi na ulwalamano kodwa ukuphefumla kwintamo yeqabane lakho kunye nokufuna ingqalelo 24/7 kunokuqhuba iqabane lakho lisuke kuwe.
Sonke sidinga eyethu indawo kunye nexesha, kwaye kuyacetyiswa ukuba sikuqonde ukukhululeka kweqabane lakho.
10. Ukurhuqa kulwalamano njengokubhubha
Ngamanye amaxesha, yonke imiqondiso imi phambi kwamehlo ethu, kwaye siyasilela ukuyiqonda. Ukuba ulwalamano lwakho luziva ngathi luxanduva ukuba akukho luthando, inkxaso, uncamathiselo kunye nokuqonda kungcono ukulugqiba kunokuba urhuqele ngaphandle kokungaphumeleli kungenjalo kunokuba bubudlelwane obunetyhefu kwaye obungenampilo.
Ezi ngcebiso zili-10 ngokuqinisekileyo ziya kunceda ubudlelwane bakho buhlale ixesha elide nangona ungenawo amava angaphambili wokuba kubudlelwane.