Umxholo
- Ukujongana nomceli mngeni okhethekileyo
- Ukuba kwiqela elinye
- Sukufaka isibaso emlilweni
- Yondla ubudlelwane
- Phuthuma ulwalamano obelufuna
Ubudlelwane bexesha elide kunye nomtshato ziphawulwe ngemiceli mngeni kunye nezoyikiso kubambiswano. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, sikhona isizathu sokuba "ekuguleni nasempilweni ... nokuba kokulungileyo nokuba kokubi" kube yinxalenye yotshintsho lwesithembiso somtshato.
Nangona eminye imiceli mngeni ivela kwilizwe elisingqongileyo, njengoqoqosho olubi okanye intlekele enkulu, ezinye zivela kubambiswano okanye- umceli mngeni omkhulu nangakumbi- kumntu ophakathi kolwalamano.
Kubonakala ngathi imbi kakhulu, ukonzakala kwe-neurologic ukwenzakala kwengqondo kuhlala kwenzeka ngokuzenzekelayo kwaye ngaphandle kwesiphoso naliphi na iqabane.
Nangona ubudlelwane emva kokulimala kwengqondo okubuhlungu bujamelene nemiceli mngeni emitsha. Kodwa le miceli mngeni ayinakoyiswa, kwaye ukuba ihamba ngendlela eyiyo inokuzisa ubudlelwane phakathi.
Ukujongana nomceli mngeni okhethekileyo
Kubalulekile ukuqaqambisa ukuba iziganeko zonyango kunye noxilongo zahlukile kwezinye izoyikiso kubudlelwane. Nangona singenakuyiqonda kwinqanaba lokuqonda, ukwenzakala kwengqondo kunokubeka uxinzelelo olwahlukileyo kulwalamano olunikezwe indawo yalo yemvelaphi.
Uqoqosho olonwabisayo okanye intlekele enkulu ivela kwihlabathi elisingqongileyo, lisenza uxinzelelo olubi kubudlelwane obuvela ngaphandle.
Nangona iyamkeleka into yokuba uxinzelelo, iziganeko ezivela ngaphandle zinokuba nefuthe lokusondeza iqabane kunye.
Kwiimeko ezinjalo, ukuxhasa iqabane lakho, kufuneka "ubiyele iinqwelo" okanye "ungene" unyamezele ubunzima ekwabelwana ngabo obubekwe lilishwa phezu kwabo.
Njengomsizi oguqulwe waba yidayimani ngobushushu noxinzelelo, amaqabane asebenza kunye ukoyisa umceli mngeni anokuvela ngokuphumelela kwaye omelele kuwo.
Nangona iziganeko zonyango kunye nokuxilongwa kunesifo esifanayo, indawo yokuvela kwezinto iyazenza nzima izinto.
Ihlabathi elijikeleze ubudlelwane alikho ityala; Uxinzelelo olungalindelekanga yimeko yonyango yeqabane elinye kubudlelwane. Ngequbuliso loo mntu angangoyena usweleyo kwaye angabinakho ukufaka isandla.
Ngaphandle kwemizamo yomntu wonke, loo nto inamandla inokuvelisa iimvakalelo zenzondo. Kubalulekile ngaloo mizuzu ukukhumbula ukuba amaqabane akwiqela elinye.
Ukuba kwiqela elinye
Ukwamkela nokwazi imiceli mngeni eyahlukileyo yomtshato okanye ubudlelwane emva koxinzelelo sisiqingatha sedabi. Enye into ebalulekileyo yokwenza amaqabane ekuxhaseni ngokugula kunye nempilo kukufumana kunye nokuhlala kwiqela elinye.
Okumangalisayo kukuba, ubuchopho bethu bomntu obuntsonkothileyo bunokukwenza kube nzima oku.
Uyabona, njengabantu, kuyindalo yethu ukwahlulahlula izinto. Ukuziphatha ngokwendlela yokuhlelwa ngokwasemacaleni kuyimveliso yokhetho lwendalo, kuyasinceda ukuba siphile ngokungxama ekuthathweni kwezigqibo, kwaye siyayibona ivela kwangoko ebuntwaneni.
Into inokukhuseleka okanye ibe yingozi; isilwanyana sinokuba nobubele okanye sikhohlakele; imozulu isenokuhlala kamnandi okanye ingonwabisi; umntu unokunceda okanye aphazamise iinzame zethu kulonwabo.
Njengoko sikhula, sifunda umhlaba, kwaye uninzi lweempawu zalo zingwevu kunokuba "mnyama nomhlophe," kodwa ithuku lokuhlela lihleli.
Ke, xa umntu esimthandayo esokola okwexeshana okanye ngokusisigxina kwisigulo sonyango, ukuthanda kwethu ukwahlulahlula ngokwamacandelo kunokwenza impambano ekhohlakeleyo, simhlelele umntu esimthandayo "njengomntu ombi" ngendlela yolonwabo lwethu.
Oku kunokwenzeka ngenxa yokuba icandelo lokusinda lokuhlelwa ngokwamacandelo lisifundisa-ukusukela kwiminyaka yobudala-ukuba usukele kokuhle kwaye ushiye okubi.
Kubudlelwane emva kokonzakala kwengqondo ebuhlungu, Imiceli mngeni kunye noxanduva luvela kwiqabane elingonzakalanga. Kodwa ixhoba alibenzi bunzima-ukwenzakala kwengqondo yabo kunjalo.
Ingxaki kukuba ukwahlula ingqondo yethu kunokujonga kuphela ixhoba, hayi ukwenzakala kwengqondo. Ixhoba, ngoku lifunwa ngamandla kwaye linganako ukwenza igalelo, ngempazamo linokuhlelwa njengababi.
Kodwa okubi kukwenzakala kwengqondo, hayi ixhoba eliyixhasileyo. Kwaye ke kulele into exakayo: Ingozi yengqondo ichaphazele ixhoba, kodwa ngokuguqula indlela yokuziphatha okanye ubuntu bexhoba, inokubangela ukuba iqabane lenze ingqondo kwi-ixhoba.
Nangona umntu omnye efumene ukulimala kwengqondo, kuyacaca ukuba ngoku ubudlelwane buqhubekile.
Amaqabane anokukhumbuzana- kunye nabo ngokwabo-ukuba ukulimala kwengqondo ngumntu ombi angoyisa "mna ngokuchasene nawe" ukuba ukwahlulwa ngokwendalo kungadala ngempazamo.
Endaweni yoko banokufika kwicala elinye lomlo "thina ngokuchasene nokwenzakala kwengqondo". Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha inokufezekiswa ngesikhumbuzo esilula: "Heyi, khumbula, sikwiqela elinye."
Sukufaka isibaso emlilweni
Inkalo ebonakalayo yokuba kwiqela elinye yile ayisebenzi ngokuchasene neenjongo zeqela.
Abadlali bebhola ekhatywayo abayikhabi ibhola ukuya kumagoli abo, emva kwayo yonke loo nto. Kubonakala kulula ngokwaneleyo, kodwa xa iimvakalelo ezinje ngokudana okanye inzondo zithatha indawo kwaye zikhokela indlela esiziphatha ngayo, sinokwenza izinto ezenza imeko ibe mandundu.
Sukubambeka kwezi mvakalelo kwaye wongeze umlilo emlilweni.
Kwabasindileyo, hlala umva ngokuchasene neemvakalelo zokungabi namsebenzi okanye ixhoba.
Enye yezona zinto zimbi umntu asindileyo anokuzenza - kubudlelwane babo emva kokonzakala kwengqondo-kukudibanisa nombono wokuba lixhoba okanye alunamsebenzi.
Kuyinyani, ixhoba lisenokungakwazi ukwenza izinto ezithile kunangaphambili, kodwa ukujonga ngokungagungqiyo kubuchule obulahlekileyo kwenza kube nzima ukubona amandla aseleyo.
Kumaqabane angakhange aqhubeke nokwenzakala kwengqondo, musa ukulikhupha okanye ulixhase ixhoba.
Ukusinda ekonzakaleni kwengqondo kunye nokuchacha kuyo kunzima ngokwaneleyo ngaphandle kokwenza ukuba uzive usizelwe okanye ukhululwe liqabane lakho. Kwaye ukuba injongo yeqela kukubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo ixhoba, ubuntwana buhambisa ibhola kude nenjongo.
Kwakhona, musa ukoyika ukubonisa ukuba sesichengeni. Amaqabane angonzakalanga anokuziva ngathi anyanzelekile ukuba abonakale ngathi "anayo yonke into ephantsi kolawulo," kodwa oko kuhlala kungenjalo, kwaye i-façade ihlala ingaqinisekisi.
Ngenye indlela, ukwamkela kunye nokwabelana ngeemvakalelo zokuba sesichengeni kunokuqinisekisa ixhoba ukuba ayinguye yedwa ojamelene notshintsho.
Yondla ubudlelwane
Kubudlelwane emva kokonzakala kwengqondo ebuhlungu, amaqabane kufuneka azame ukungasebenzi ngokuchasene neenjongo ekwabelwana ngazo, kodwa kwakhona akwanele.
Naluphi na ulwalamano oluthandanayo kufuneka londliwe endleleni ukuba luya kuhlala. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, nditsho nesityalo esikhuselweyo kwindlu - sikhuselwe kwizinambuzane nakwizinto ezirhabaxa zangaphandle- sisaya kubuna kwaye sife xa singanikwanga manzi, ukutya, kunye nelanga elifanelekileyo.
Kuba abasindileyo, fumana iindlela zokusebenzisa. Fumana iintshukumo ezithile kwaye uzibophelele ukuzenza, uhlala usukelo olwabelwayo kubudlelwane ekuvuseleleni.
Abasindileyo kufuneka baxhase amaqabane abo kuxanduva olutsha. Abalingane banokuthatha uxanduva olutsha ababekhe baba ngabo basindayo (umzekelo, ukupheka, umsebenzi weyadi).
Abasindileyo banokuwanceda amaqabane abo ngokwamkela olu tshintsho kunye neemvakalelo eziza nalo, banike uncedo kunye nokukhokelwa (ngakumbi ukuba endaweni yokugxekwa okunje "ayiyondlela endandisenza ngayo oko.")
Okokugqibela, amaxhoba angacela abahlobo kunye nosapho ukuba bancede amaqabane abo.
Amaqabane angonzakalanga anokuziva emathidala ukufuna uncedo kuba baziva ngathi "kufuneka bakwazi ukuphatha izinto" bebodwa.
Nangona kufanelekile ukusebenza ngalo naluphi na ulindelo olungenangqondo, isiqabu esikhawulezileyo sinokuhanjiswa ukuba ixhoba licela uncedo kubahlobo, kusapho nakwabanye abaxhasi.
Kuba amaqabane, ncedani iqabane lakho lifumane iindlela ezintsha (okanye zilungelelanise iindlela ezindala) ezinokusetyenziswa.
Ukuba amaqabane ayayeka ukucinga ukuba amaxhoba asenokuninzi ekufuneka enegalelo kuwo, edibanisa nombono wokuba banzima okanye balungisa into abangakwaziyo ukuyenza, kuyakubanzima kakhulu ukuba amaxhoba abe negalelo.
Phuthuma ulwalamano obelufuna
Umntu unokuhlela ezinye zezindululo zingasentla njengokunciphisa umonakalo kubudlelwane obubangelwa kukonzakala kwengqondo. Nangona kungenathemba, olo luhlu aluchanekanga kwaphela.
Masibe nobulungisa kwaye samkele inyani ebuhlungu: ngento eguqula ubomi njengokwenzakala kwengqondo, into elungileyo elandelayo kukulawula umonakalo. Kodwa ulawulo lomonakalo akufuneki lube kukuphendula kuphela.
Njengoko kuchaziwe kumhlathi wokuqala wale kholamu, ukwenzakala kwengqondo kuzisa ucelomngeni ngawo nawuphi na umgangatho. Kodwa ngokuguquguquka kwengqondo okuncinci, sinokuyichonga njengethuba.
Abalingani kubudlelwane emva kokulimala kwengqondo okunyanzelekileyo baphoqeleka ukuba baphinde bavavanye apho bemi khona kwaye kubalulekile kubo.
Ukuba unqwenela, ngokwenza isenzo kunye nokukhokelwa ngamaxabiso abelwanayo, inokuqhubela phambili ukukhula kunye nokuziphendukela kwemvelo ngokubhekisele kwiinjongo ekwabelwana ngazo ngamaqabane.
Unoko engqondweni, kwaye njengoko iindima, imisebenzi, kunye nolindelo luguquka, kufanelekile ukuzama ukuya kulwalamano olufunayo-ukulimala kwengqondo okanye hayi.
Ke, hlala unomhla wobusuku ukuba awukhange uye ngaphambi kokulimala kwengqondo.
Onke amaqabane kufuneka akhulise ubudlelwane bawo kunye nexesha alichitha yedwa. Elo xesha lidibeneyo ngokulinganayo, ukuba akubalulekanga ngakumbi, kunaphambi koxinzelelo olongeziweyo kubudlelwane emva kokonzakala kwengqondo.
Cinga ngokucebisa izibini kunye nengcali yezentetho.
Ukucebisa izibini kunokunceda ukuququzelela uthethathethwano phakathi kwamaqabane, ichonge imithombo ephindaphindayo yongquzulwano, kwaye inike iingcebiso ezakhayo okanye inike izixhobo kunye nezixhobo.
Kwaye ukuba kufanelekile, jonga unyango ngesondo ngengcali yomsebenzi okanye enye ingcali.
Ngenxa yeempembelelo ezahlukeneyo zokonzakala kwengqondo (ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwasengqondweni), kwaye ngenxa yokuba ukusondelelana ngokomzimba kuyinto ebalulekileyo kuyo nayiphi na ubudlelwane bezothando, ingcali inokuthi ikwazi ukunceda izibini ekuxhaseni okanye ekubuyiseni ulwalamano ngokwesondo kubudlelwane babo.