Umxholo
- Inqanaba 1: Ukungahoyi okungathandekiyo
- Inqanaba 2: Ukungabinamdla
- Inqanaba 3: Ukurhoxa okusebenzayo
- Inqanaba 4: Iimfihlo
Xa sisiva igama elithi "ukungcatsha" ngaphakathi komtshato uninzi lucinga ngokukhawuleza ngokuthandana okanye ukungathembeki kubudlelwane. Ngelixa zombini ezo zinto ziluhlobo lokungcatsha, inyani kukuba zininzi izinto zokungcatsha emtshatweni- uninzi lwazo "izibini ezonwabileyo" ezenza omnye komnye rhoqo, nkqu mihla le.
Abantu abatshatileyo abafuna iingcebiso rhoqo kunokwenza oko ukunceda ukulungisa umtshato wabo. Ngokuthintela ngokukhawuleza la manyathelo alandelayo okungcatsha, izibini zinokusebenzela ukuthintela umonakalo kubudlelwane. Ukungcatsha kunokuqhekezwa ngokweendidi ezi-4: Ukungahoyi okungalunganga, ukungabi namdla, ukurhoxa okusebenzayo kunye neemfihlo.
Inqanaba 1: Ukungahoyi okungathandekiyo
Kulapho ukuqala kwesiphelo kuhlala kuqala khona. Xa izibini (okanye enye inxalenye yesi sibini) iqala ukufulathela enye ngabom, luphawu lokuqala lokungcatsha. Into elula njengokungaphenduli xa iqabane lithi "wow - jonga ke!" okanye "Ndinento enomdla eyenzekileyo namhlanje ...." Ukugquma okungapheliyo okanye akukho mpendulo iqala ukwahlula phakathi kwamaqabane kwaye inokwakha inzondo. Oku ukungahoyi ixesha loqhagamshelo kukhokelela kumnqweno omncinci wokunxibelelana oqhubeka ngakumbi kwaye onokudambisa ubudlelwane.
Kweli nqanaba amaqabane nawo anokuzifumana ethelekisa amaqabane awo ngokungafanelekanga kwabanye. Umyeni ka-Amy akaze akhalaze ngale nto ..... ”okanye" Umfazi kaBrad ubuncinane uzama ukuzilolonga. " Nokuba la magqabantshintshi abiwa ngomlomo neqabane, ukuba nothelekiso olubi kuqala ukwahlula isibini kunye nokwenza indlela yokucinga engalunganga omnye komnye. Ukusuka koku, ayilo nyathelo linzima ukufikelela kwinqanaba apho ukuxhomekeka komnye kuncipha kwaye kucingelwa ukuba enye ayikho xa ifunwa / ifuneka. Oku kungcatsha kuhlala kubonakala njengoluhlu lokuhlamba ngengqondo kweempazamo zeqabane. Ukuhlala ngokwengqondo "umyeni wam akanakukwazi xa kufikwa ekwazini ukuba ndibulinganisa njani ubomi bethu" okanye "unkosikazi wam akayazi into endiyenzayo imini yonke" kunokubonakala ngathi yindlela yokuqhuma umphunga kodwa eneneni kukungcatsha ulwalamano. Uninzi lweengcinga ezinjalo kunye nokuziphatha kukhokelela kukungcatsha okukhulu okufumaneka kwinqanaba 2.
Inqanaba 2: Ukungabinamdla
Xa ubudlelwane budibana nokuziphatha kwinqanaba 2, yindlela eqhubeka ngakumbi yokungcatsha. Eli nqanaba lifuna ukuba abantu baqale ukungabi namdla komnye nomnye kwaye baziphathe ngokufanelekileyo. Bayayeka ukwabelana nabanye kangako (okt impendulo ethi "ibinjani imini yakho" ihlala "intle" kwaye ayikho enye into.) Umnqweno wokwabelana ngexesha, iinzame kunye nokuqwalaselwa ngokubanzi kuyaqala ukwehla. Amaxesha ngamaxesha kukho utshintsho kumandla / kumandla kwaye endaweni yokwabelana nomlingane amandla afanayo / ingqalelo iqala ukuya kolunye ubudlelwane (okt ukubeka phambili ubuhlobo okanye abantwana ngaphezulu kweqabane) okanye ingqwalaselo inokuhamba kakhulu ekuphazamiseni (okt imidiya yoluntu. , izinto zokuzonwabisa, ukuzibandakanya kwenye indawo.) Xa izibini zibingelela kancinane, zisabelana kancinci kwaye zityala imali encinci enye nenye kuyindawo eyingozi ukubangathi ezi ndlela zokuqhawula izinto zinokuphindaphindeka kwaye zikhokelele ekurhoxisweni kobudlelwane.
Inqanaba 3: Ukurhoxa okusebenzayo
Ukuziphatha kokungcatsha ukusuka kwinqanaba lesithathu zezinye zezona zinto zonakalisa ubudlelwane. Eli nqanaba limalunga nokurhoxa kwiqabane. Ukuziphatha komnye nomnye kuhlala kubalulekile okanye kuyazikhusela. Uninzi lwabantu lunokuchonga esi sibini- ngaphandle kokuba ngabo. Isibini esikhuselayo nesigxekayo siyakhawuleza ukugwebana, sifutshane, bonisa ukukhathazeka ngokukhawuleza kwaye bahlala bethetha okanye ngokwasemzimbeni babonisa ukucaphuka kunye nezinye izinto ezilula ezingafanelanga impendulo abayifumanayo kwesi sigaba.
Amaqabane aziva enesithukuthezi kwibakala 3 nkqu nabanye njengoko unxibelelwano luye lwaba nzima kangangokuba kunzima ukunxibelelana kwakhona. Kukho ukusondelelana okulinganiselweyo ngeli nqanaba ... kwaye umnqweno wokuqalisa nantoni na yothando ayikho. Enye yezona zinto zixhaphakileyo kwesi sigaba "kukuphosa" iqabane kwabanye. Ayisiyiyo kwaphela eyokungabi nantlonelo kodwa esidlangalaleni yabelana ngokuqhekeka komtshato, ikhuthaza abanye ukuba bakhethe amacala kwaye bavumelane nesimo sengqondo esingalunganga kwaye baziphose kumlo. Amaqabane kweli nqanaba kunokwenzeka ukuba agcine iimpazamo zomnye nomnye, azive elilolo ade aqale nengqondo yabo ibhadule ithi “Kazi ingaba ndingonwaba ndedwa na .... okanye nomnye umntu ....” Kwaye nini iingcinga ezinjalo kunye nokungcatsha kungena kubudlelwane, inqanaba 4 alikho kude.
Inqanaba 4: Iimfihlo
Inqanaba leeMfihlo kuxa isiphelo sikufuphi. Ukungcatsha kuye kwaba yindlela yokuphila kulwalamano. Inxalenye enye okanye omabini amaqabane agcina iimfihlo kwelinye. Izinto ezinjengekhadi letyala enye engazaziyo okanye enerekhodi zayo, ii-imeyile ezingaziwayo, iiakhawunti zosasazo zasekuhlaleni, isidlo sasemini ngaphandle, umntu osebenza naye / umhlobo obaluleke ngaphezu kokuba kufanelekile, imisebenzi imini yonke, ixesha elichithwa kwi-intanethi, ngokwezemali okanye noogxa. Okukhona amaqabane esabelana kancinci- kokukhona ukungcatsha kwakha. Oku kuyinyani nokuba ukungathembeki akukangeni kubudlelwane. Njengoko iingcingo ezincinci zemfihlo zakhiwe kwaye ukuhlala kubudlelwane obucacileyo kuya kuba nzima, ubudlelwane buhamba bokubamba iimfihlelo ezincinci ukuya kwezona zibalulekileyo- kwaye ukungcatsha kuyakha.
Ingene kwinqanaba le-4, kulula kakhulu ukuba iqabane liwele imida lingene kolunye ubudlelwane. Ngokwesiqhelo, umcimbi awukho malunga nokufumana uthando kwelinye iqabane kodwa endaweni yokufumana umphulaphuli, uthando, unxibelelwano olunobubele kunye nokuphumla kwimpikiswano yomtshato. Xa amanqanaba okungcatsha engene ngaphakathi kulwalamano, ukuwela imida ukuya ekungcatshweni ngakumbi phantse inyathelo elisengqiqweni kumaqabane.
Ngelixa amanqanaba edweliswe ngokulandelelana kunokwenzeka ukuba izibini / abantu ngabanye batsibe kuwo onke amabakala ngokuziphatha kwabo. Ukuthathela ingqalelo kulo naliphi na inyathelo lokungcatsha- nokuba lithini inqanaba- kubalulekile kwimpumelelo yobudlelwane. Okukhona ukungcatshwa kuthintelwa kulwalamano, kokukhona kuya komelela! Ukuthathela ingqalelo indlela oziphethe ngayo kunye neqabane lakho kubalulekile. Ukuzazi nokuzimisela ukuxoxa ngokunyanisekileyo xa bekukho ukungcatsha (okanye umbono omnye) kuphela kwendlela yokuzikhusela ekungcatshweni okuzayo kwaye unqande isenzo ekuqhubekeni ngamanyathelo.