Umxholo
- 1. Ukungenzi ixesha lokwabelana ngesondo
- 2. Ukwabelana ngebhedi yakho
- 3. Akukho nzame zibekiweyo kubomi bezesondo
- 4. Ukungakhululeki ukunxibelelana
- 5. Uloyiko olukhulu lokuqalisa
- 6. Ukungazithembi komzimba
- 7. Ukubamba ngesondo
- 8. Umcimbi wangaphambili
- 9. Umtshato ongabelani ngesondo
Ukuxhalaba ngokwesondo okanye ukungahambelani neqabane lakho ngumcimbi omkhulu oqwalaselwa kakhulu ziingcali zomtshato ngexesha lokucebisa izibini. Imicimbi yokusondelana ngokomzimba yenzeka ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi ezinje ngoxinzelelo, ubudala, kunye notshintsho kwiimeko, njengokufumana umntwana omtsha. Ngaphandle kwezibonelelo zomzimba, ukuba nobomi obonwabisayo ngokwesondo kunye neqabane lakho komeleza unxibelelwano lwakho lweemvakalelo.
Akumangalisi ke ngoko ukuba uninzi lwabantu abathandanayo abathandanayo ngokwasemzimbeni bafumana ulwaneliseko oluphantsi kulwalamano kwaye bathambekele ekude kude omnye komnye. Le yinyani ebuhlungu enokulungiswa ngokulula xa omabini amaqabane efaka iinzame zokwenza ixesha lokwabelana ngesondo nokumamela iimfuno zomnye nomnye.
Nazi izinto ezi-9 zokusondelana ngokomzimba ezinokuchaphazela umtshato wakho:
1. Ukungenzi ixesha lokwabelana ngesondo
Iishedyuli ezixakekileyo kunye nokudinwa kakhulu kunokuba yindlela yokufezekisa iminqweno yakho yesini njengesibini. Ukungathathi ixesha lokwabelana ngesondo sesinye sezikhalazo ezinkulu ngexesha lokucebisa ngesondo. Eyona nto iphambili yile: ukuba uyayithanda into, uyakuyenza ixesha layo. Ngaba uyazilolonga okanye uyayidlala imidlalo izihlandlo ezininzi ngeveki, kodwa ungalenzi ixesha lokwabelana ngesondo?
2. Ukwabelana ngebhedi yakho
Ngaba ulala kunye nabantwana bakho okanye mhlawumbi nezilwanyana zasekhaya? Akuqhelekanga ukuba abantwana bazenzele ebhedini kunye nabazali babo kwiTV okanye ebusuku emva kobusuku.
Ungaziva ngathi luxanduva lwakho njengomzali ukuvumela umntwana wakho ukuba angene ebhedini yakho ukuba uyoyika okanye xa efuna ukuchitha ixesha kunye nawe, kodwa zama ukungazenzi umkhwa wakho. Ukwabelana ngebhedi yakho nomntu ongelilo iqabane lakho kunokwenza ukuba ukusondelelana kunqabile. Xa abantwana okanye izilwanyana zasekhaya zikwindawo yakho unethuba elincinci lokuncamisana, uphathaphathane, okanye ube nothando ebusuku.
3. Akukho nzame zibekiweyo kubomi bezesondo
Ukufumana inkqubo egqibeleleyo, ebhedini uziva umlingo xa uqala ukwenza ubudlelwane bakho ngokwesondo. Ngulo mzuzu apho zonke iindlela zakho zihamba ngokugqibeleleyo.
Uyazi kakuhle ukuba wenzeni ukukholisa iqabane lakho, ke uyenza ngalo lonke ixesha. Oku kuhle, ekuqaleni. Kodwa emva kweminyaka embalwa isenza into efanayo ngokwesondo, ingaqala ukusilela kwintlantsi okanye umdla. Uninzi lwabantu abatshatileyo babalekela kwimicimbi yokusondelelana xa beyeka ukubeka imizamo kubomi babo bezesondo ngokuzama izinto ezintsha okanye ukuzama ukurhwebelana.
4. Ukungakhululeki ukunxibelelana
Unxibelelwano lubalulekile phantse kuzo zonke iinkalo zobudlelwane bakho, kubandakanya nobomi bakho bobulili. Ukuba awukwazi ukunxibelelana neqabane lakho, baya kuzazi njani ezona ndlela zokukukholisa? Izibini kufuneka zikwazi ukuxoxa ngeemfuno zazo, iimfuno kunye neengcamango.
Xelela iqabane lakho zonke izinto ozithandayo abazenzayo, kunye nezinto abanokuzenza ngakumbi okanye ngaphantsi phakathi kwamashiti. Ukuba awuyichazi iminqweno yakho yesini, ubomi bakho bobulili buya kuziva bunganeliseki. Le micimbi yokusondelelana ngokomzimba inokubangela ukungathandeki ngokubanzi ekubeni neentlobano zesini neqabane lakho okanye kungakhokelela nakwinto enithandanayo.
5. Uloyiko olukhulu lokuqalisa
Izibini ezininzi ziye zaziphosa kwindima ezithile ngaphakathi nangaphandle kwegumbi lokulala. Umzekelo, indoda inokuphoswa "njengomqalisi", ishiye umfazi engaqinisekanga ukuba uza kuthetha njani ngomnqweno wakhe wesini. Ezinye izibini zinokungaziqondi iimpawu zamaqabane abo. Abanye basenokoyika kakhulu ukuba bangaqala boyike ukwaliwa.
6. Ukungazithembi komzimba
Imicimbi yokusondelana ngokomzimba inokuvela ngenxa yokungazithembi.
Abasetyhini, ngakumbi, baboniswa kaninzi kwimithombo yeendaba, kwiintengiso, nakwimiboniso bhanyabhanya yabantu abadala ukuba abantu basetyhini kufuneka babe bubungakanani okanye imilo ethile ukuze bafumaneke benomtsalane. Banokuziva beva amabele, isisu, kunye nezinye iindawo zomzimba wabo ukuba bajonge ngendlela ethile. Oku kunokubenza bazive bethandabuza, baneentloni okanye bengakhululeki ukubandakanyeka kwizenzo zesondo, nokuba bayawathanda kwaye bayalithemba iqabane labo.
Ukungazithembi kwigumbi lokulala akuyongxaki yabafazi kuphela. Amadoda amaninzi anexhala lobungakanani nolwaluko kunye nokuba amaqabane abo angacinga ntoni ngomzimba wabo.
7. Ukubamba ngesondo
Abanye abatshatileyo, kunye nabafazi ngokukodwa basebenzisa isondo njengesixhobo okanye njengomvuzo. Elinye iqabane linokungavumi ukuphumelela iingxoxo okanye ukohlwaya iqabane labo. Omnye unokusebenzisa isondo njengawe ungasebenzisa ukuphatha ukuqeqesha inja. Zombini ezi ndlela zokuziphatha ziindlela ezinetyhefu ezenza umbono ogqwethekileyo wento efanele ukuba sisenzo sothando.
8. Umcimbi wangaphambili
Ukujongana nokuthandana yenye yezona zinto zimbi onokuthi uhambe nazo kubudlelwane. Ayithumeli kuphela, ngesiqhelo amaqela omabini, kukuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo, kodwa inokonakalisa nobomi bakho ngokwesondo. Ukwabelana ngesondo kuba nzima emva kokuthandana.
Ingcinga yokuba neentlobano zesini neqabane lakho emva kokuthandana inokubonakala inganyamezeleki. Iqela elonzakeleyo lisenokuzibuza ukuba bathelekiswa njani "nomnye" umntu. Kusenokubakho ingqumbo ehlala ihleli kubo bobabini abatshatileyo emva komtshato okungabenzi bazive benomdla kakhulu okanye bethandana.
9. Umtshato ongabelani ngesondo
Unjingalwazi wezentlalontle kwiDyunivesithi yaseburhulumenteni yaseGeorgia uDenise A. Donnelly wenze isifundo ngomtshato ongabelani ngesondo kwaye wafumanisa ukuba i-15% yabantu abatshatileyo khange babelane ngesondo kwiinyanga ezi-6 ukuya kwezi-12 ezidlulileyo.
Ukuba neentlobano zesini rhoqo kukwenza uzive wonwabile, ukhuselekile, kwaye uthandana ngakumbi neqabane lakho. Iyakudibanisa ngokwasemzimbeni nasengqondweni kwaye yomeleza ubudlelwane bakho.
Xa isondo lilahlekile emtshatweni kunokubangela amaqabane azive enenzondo, engazithembanga kwaye engahoywanga. Ukuba kumtshato ongabelani ngesondo sesinye sezona zizathu zibangela ukuba abantu bafune ukuthandana ngaphandle komtshato.
Imicimbi yokwabelana ngokwasemzimbeni ichaphazela umtshato wakho ngeendlela ezininzi. Ngokubamba isondo, ungenzi ixesha lamaxesha osondeleyo, kwaye ungabinako ukunxibelelana malunga nobomi bakho bezesondo kunye neqabane lakho, uzibekela ukungaphumeleli kwigumbi lokulala. Ziqhelise ukuvuleleka kwaye uthembeke malunga nezinto ozifunayo kunye neemfuno zakho zokubuyisela unxibelelwano ngokwasemoyeni nangokwasemzimbeni kwiqabane lakho.