Umxholo
- Ukwamkela okuqhelekileyo
- Ukuphila ubomi bakho obudala kwakhona
- Ukuzivumela ukuba ube sentlungwini
- Ukufumana amathuba okukhula
- Ukugcina ixesha kunye
Xa iqabane lakho lifunyaniswa ligula kakhulu okanye likhubazeka, umhlaba wakho uyatshintsha. Ayisiyiyo kuphela ukuba ngamnye uchaphazeleke ngokukodwa ngokobu bunzima, kodwa umtshato wakho kufuneka uhambelane nenyani entsha. Iingcinga zakho malunga nekamva lakho kunye zinokuphela, zithathe indawo yezicwangciso zakho ziveze uloyiko kunye noxinzelelo. Ungafumanisa ukuba wena neqabane lakho nixinene yimeko yelimbo, imeko yokungaqiniseki.
Ukuba ngumkhathaleli womlingane kukubeka kwiklabhu ekungekho namnye kuthi ofuna ukujoyina, kodwa inyani kukuba uninzi lwethu luya kuthi ngexesha lomtshato. Iklabhu engazibandakanyi ayicaluli. Amalungu ayo ahlukeneyo ngokweminyaka, isini, ubuhlanga, ubuhlanga, ukuthanda isini, kunye nenqanaba lomvuzo. Xa iqabane lethu ligula kakhulu okanye ligula ngokungapheliyo okanye likhubazekile, umtshato unokuvavanywa ngendlela engazange icelwe mngeni ngaphambili. Nokuba kukugula ngokwasemzimbeni okanye isifo sengqondo, akukho mathandabuzo ukuba ukuphulukana neqabane lakho kwezempilo kunokuchaphazela zonke iinkalo zobomi bethu. Umsebenzi odakumbisayo kwaye ngamanye amaxesha umsebenzi wokukhathalela umntu esimthandayo ungasishiya sifuna ukhokelo lokusinceda sihambe kwiintlungu zethu siye kwindawo yethemba noxolo.
Ukwamkela okuqhelekileyo
Ukugula kakhulu kuhlala undwendwe olungafunekiyo xa kufikwa emnyango. Kodwa, ngokungamkeleki njengokungena ngaphakathi, kufuneka sifunde ukujongana nenyani yokuba kusenokwenzeka ukuba sihlale ithutyana, ukuba ayibikho ubomi beqabane lethu lonke. Le nyani iba yinto yethu entsha eqhelekileyo, into ekufuneka siyidibanisile ebomini bethu. Kangangendlela esinokuziva ngayo ukuba ubomi bethu bukhona, okanye kufanele ukuba bube, ekuphumleni, kuya kufuneka sive ukuba masisebenze kanjani naxa sikwindawo yokungaqiniseki. Eli xesha linokuhlala ixesha elide, ke ayisoloko iyinyani kuthi ukucinga ukuba sinokulinda isigulo seqabane lethu sibuyele kwindlela ebeziqhele ukuba ngayo. Siqhubela phambili njengesibini nangona sise-limbo, sibandakanya okuqhelekileyo kwesiqhelo kubomi bethu.
Ukuphila ubomi bakho obudala kwakhona
Nokuba samkela inyani entsha yobudlelwane bethu, sinezinto ezininzi zobomi bethu bakudala eziqhubekayo ukwenzeka. Sibhiyozela imihla yokuzalwa, isikhumbuzo, iiholide, imitshato kunye neentsana. Siya kwiminyhadala yentlalo, esikolweni, nasemsebenzini. Amanye amalungu osapho aneengxaki zabo zempilo okanye zobuqu kwaye sifuna ukubaxhasa. Kubalulekile ukuba singavumeli ukugula komlingane wethu kusihluthe uvuyo, iintlungu, imisebenzi kunye nolwalamano olusenza sibe yile nto siyiyo. Ukuba siphume ngokupheleleyo kubume bento yesiqhelo kwaye esiyiqhelileyo, siyakuphulukana nathi kwaye sifumanise ukuba ekuphela kwesazisi esishiyekileyo kuthi sesomkhathaleli kunye nesigulana. Ukubakho ebomini bethu kusinceda sigcine ukuqonda kwethu kwaye kusigcina sinxibelelana nabantu kunye neziganeko ezibalulekileyo kuthi.
Ukuzivumela ukuba ube sentlungwini
Sidla ngokucinga ukuba buhlungu njengento esiyenzayo xa kusweleke umntu. Kodwa ukugula kungazisa ilahleko ezininzi, kwaye kusempilweni ukukuvuma nokuziva. Le ayisiyonto ufuna ukuyenza ngokukhululekileyo neqabane lakho, kodwa ukugula kakhulu okanye ukukhubazeka kuzisa usizi olufanelekileyo kwaye akuncedi ukuziphepha ngokupheleleyo okanye ukuzikhupha ezo mvakalelo zinzima. Inokuba nemveliso kakhulu ukubiza ngokuthe ngqo ilahleko yakho. Umzekelo, ukuba umhlobo wakho ukuxelela ukuba uceba ukuhamba ngenqanawa kunye nomyeni wakhe kunyaka olandelayo, unokukhathazeka ukuba awunakukwazi ukuceba iholide kwikamva elibonakalayo. Ukuba iqabane lakho alikwazi ukuya emsebenzini okanye ukwenza imisebenzi ejikeleze indlu, ungalusizi ngokulahleka kwalo. Usenokuba lusizi ngokuphulukana nolindelo lwakho kwikamva, ukuphulukana nethemba, ukuziva unqabisekile. Le nkqubo ayifani nokukhathazeka kuba uzivumela ukuba uqaphele kwaye uqinisekise ilahleko yokwenene eyenzeka ebomini bakho.
Ukufumana amathuba okukhula
Xa ujongene nokugula kweqabane lakho, ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba ngathi kuyimpumelelo ukuphuma nje ebhedini kusasa kwaye ujongane nemisebenzi eyimfuneko yosuku. Kodwa ngaba zikhona iindlela onokukhula ngazo? Izinto onokuzifunda? Mhlawumbi ufumana uxabiso olutsha ngokukwazi kwakho ukuba nesibindi, ukungazicingeli, ukuba novelwano, nokuba namandla. Kwaye mhlawumbi uzibona usolula ngaphaya kwento owawukhe wayicinga ukuba ikuluhlu lwakho. Xa sisingatha imeko enzima kakuhle okanye xa silwa nokudinwa kunye noloyiko lokunyukela kwinqanaba lethu lokusebenza, sinikwa ithuba lokubonelela ngobomi bethu ngeyona ntsingiselo iphambili kunye nokwenza unxibelelwano namaqabane ethu anyaniseke ngakumbi kunangaphambili ingxaki yezempilo. Eli nqanaba lokwazisa lisenokungabikho rhoqo okanye rhoqo, njengoko ukhathalelo lusenokuba lusizi kwaye luxakeke ngokwenyani. Kodwa xa ukwazi ukuqaphela awona maxesha agqithisileyo, kunokuba yinto eyonwabisayo kwaye ikhuthaze.
Ukugcina ixesha kunye
Rhoqo kukuxakeka kwemihla ngemihla kubomi bemihla ngemihla, sibathatha kancinci abantu abakufutshane kuthi. Oku kunokwenzeka ngakumbi kumaqabane ethu kwaye sizifumana sibeka phambili abanye abantu kunye nemisebenzi, sicinga ukuba singasoloko sihlala namaqabane ethu ngelinye ixesha. Kodwa xa ukugula kuhlasela, ixesha kunye linokubaluleka ngakumbi. Sinokuziva singxamisekile ukusebenzisa elona xesha lichithayo kulwalamano lwethu. Ukunyamekela ngokwalo kunokusinika ithuba lokuxhuma ngendlela esingakaze sibe nayo ngaphambili. Nangona sinokufumanisa ukuba ukuxhasa iqabane lethu ngexesha lokugula kunamaxesha aphazamisayo kunye nabuhlungu, kunokubakho ukuqonda ukuba into esiyenzayo inentsingiselo kwaye inefuthe. Ngamanye amaxesha ukutya okumnandi, irabha yomqolo, okanye ibhafu efudumeleyo konke oku kufuneka ukuze iqabane lethu likhululeke okanye livuseleleke. Kwaye kungaziva kumnandi ukuba ngumntu onikezela ngesiqabu kwiqabane lethu ngexesha lakhe lobunzima.
Zininzi ezinye iindlela zokuzondla, iqabane lakho, kunye nomtshato wakho ngexesha lokugula. Kule nqaku, ndikwazi ukubamba ezimbalwa. Kwincwadi yam yakutshanje, Ukuhlala eLimbo: Ukudala uLwakhiwo noXolo xa Umntu Omthandayo egula, ebhaliweyo kunye noGqirha Claire Zilber, sixoxa ngezi zihloko kunye nezinye ezininzi nzulu. Kwabo benza le nkqubo yokunyamekela iqabane lakho, ndinqwenela ukuba nomelele, ukomelela kunye noxolo.