Umxholo
Kubonakala ngathi ngumbuzo osisiseko xa umntu ebuza, buyintoni ubudlelwane, akunjalo?
Inyani yile, yiyo ngu umbuzo osisiseko. Kodwa impendulo inzima ngakumbi. Abantu bebethandana, bethandana, betshata, kwaye beqhawula umtshato iminyaka, kodwa ababaninzi kuthi abemi kwaye bacinge malunga nokuba yintoni ngokwenene kuthetha ukuba kubudlelwane obuphilileyo. Sivame ukuhamba kwiimvakalelo rhoqo kunokuba kungenjalo, singafundi lukhulu kunxibelelwano ngalunye esilenza nomnye umntu.
Inyani yile, sinqwenele ukuba sinxibelelane nabanye. Sinqwenela ubuqabane kunye nokusondelelana nabanye abantu, ke kulomdla wethu ukuba sibeke isikhokelo sokwenza ngokuchanekileyo.
Akululanga njengomthetho wegolide: yenza kwabanye njengoko unqwenela kwenziwe kuwe.
Zininzi izinto eziguquguqukayo ezisebenzayo ezenza ifomula yolwalamano olusemgangathweni ukuba ibenzima kunokuba ibonakala. Nangona kunokuba nzima ngokubanzi, ngokuqinisekileyo kukho ezinye iintsika ukuba lonke ulwalamano olukhulu esakha saziwa lubonakalisile. Masikhe sithathe umzuzu sixoxe ngokweenkcukacha ngeentsika, kwaye siyathemba ukuba ukuba sinokuzicofa, siyakuba nefoto ebomini bethu bothando.
Unxibelelwano
"Eyona ngxaki inkulu kunxibelelwano kukukhohlisa ukuba kwenzeke".
-George Bernard Shaw
Kwaye unayo. UMnu. Shaw utyhile enye yezona zithintelo ziphambili kubudlelwane obulungileyo, kwaye ukwenze oko ngesivakalisi esinye esifutshane. Sihlala sicinga ukuba sivulekile kwaye sinyanisekile kwezinye izinto ezibalulekileyo, kodwa enyanisweni, siyabamba. Asibonisi elona cala linzulu kuthi kuba siyoyika ukuba umntu ohleli ngaphesheya kuthi uyakufumanisa ukuba mibi.
Ukuzibamba ngolu hlobo kusibangela ukuba sizibambe kwezinye iindawo zobudlelwane okanye umtshato, nathi. Ubuxoki obumhlophe apha, ukushiywa apho, kwaye ngequbuliso kukho izikhewu ezenziweyo kwinto owawukhe wacinga ukuba bubudlelwane obuthembekileyo nobuthembekileyo. Ngokuhamba kwexesha ezi zikhewu ziyanda, kwaye unxibelelwano okholelwa kulo alukho ngokwenene.
Vuleka. Nyaniseka. Bonisa iqabane lakho icala lakho elibi. Yiyo kuphela indlela yokwenza ulwalamano lwakho luyinyani kwinto ocinga ukuba iyiyo.
Ithemba
Ngaphandle kokuthenjwa, awunanto. Ubudlelwane kufuneka ibe likhaya lakho leemvakalelo, into onokuyithemba ngentuthuzelo. Ukuba awumthembi iqabane lakho, uya kuziqhuba (kwaye mhlawumbi nabo, nabo) baphambane nebali emva kwebali olenzileyo ngaphandle komoya omncinci. Ukuba awuziva ngathi ungamthemba iqabane lakho ngentliziyo nangomphefumlo wakho, ukwindawo engalunganga.
Bathi uthando aluboni, kwaye xa kuziwa kuthembela, kufanele ukuba njalo.Ungatsho ukuba kuya kufuneka ungazi nto okanye unje, kodwa wena kufanele ukwazi ukukholelwa ukuba wena neqabane lakho nihlala nisebenza ngendlela enizihloniphayo nobudlelwane bakho, ngaphandle kwezilingo ezinokubakho.
Yiba lilitye
Uyazi ukuba umama okanye utata wakho wakuthatha njani xa wawa xa wawusengumntwana? Xa ukhula kwaye umdala ngokwaneleyo ukuba ungaya emhlabeni, usadinga olo hlobo lwenkxaso engapheliyo. Abazali bakho baya kuhlala bekho ngandlela thile, kodwa indima "yelitye" ebomini bakho iya kuwela kwenye yakho ebalulekileyo.
Wena neqabane lakho kufuneka nizimisele kwaye niphefumlelwe ukuba nithandane xa omnye uziva uphantsi. Ukuba kusweleke umntu kusapho lwabo, kuya kufuneka ubeligxalaba labo ukulila. Ukuba bafuna inkxaso ekuqalekeni kweshishini, kuya kufuneka ukuba ube loloncumo olubabulisayo xa izinto zigqibile ukuphuma kuloliwe.
Ayikhethi, iyafuneka. Kuya kufuneka ubengumntu obathwalayo ngeentsuku zabo zobumnyama, kwaye kufuneka bazimisele ukubuyisa ubabalo.
Umonde
Njengabantu, sithambekele ekuziphatheni kakubi. Ukungafezeki kwakhelwe kwi-DNA yethu. Ukuthatha isigqibo sokuchitha ubomi bakho nomnye umntu yindlela yokuthi "ndiyakwamkela njengoko unjalo, iziphene kunye nazo zonke."
Kwaye nentsingiselo.
Kuya kubakho amaxesha okukuqhubela ukuba uphambene.
Kuya kubakho amaxesha apho baya kukhathaza iimvakalelo zakho.
Kukho amaxesha apho bayakulibala ukwenza into abathembise ukuba bayakuyenza.
Ngaba ufanele ubayeke bahambe? Hayi akunjalo kwakona. Kodwa njengoko uzama ukwenza uxolo emva kokuba besaphule isithembiso okanye bethetha into ebuhlungu, kuya kufuneka ube nomonde kubo. Banokuphinda bayenze kwakhona, kodwa amathuba alungile ukuba angathethi ukukukhathaza kwinkqubo.
Abantu balunge ngokwendalo. Kodwa abafezekanga. Ndiyathemba ukuba umntu othi uyakuthanda akabi ngolunya. Kholelwa ukuba bathambekele ekwenzeni iimpazamo ezizizimumu, njengawe.
Yiba nomonde kwiqabane lakho, kuphela kwendlela izinto eziza kuhlala ngayo.
Phila ngaphandle kwebali lakho lothando
Vumela iqabane lakho kunye nawe ukuba nenze izinto ngaphandle kobudlelwane benu. Zimele omnye nomnye ngelixa sithandana ngokunzulu.
Umtshato uhlala usithi kulapho abantu babini baba mnye. Nangona ilungile intetho, akufuneki ilandelwe ngokucacileyo.
Yiba nomdla wokuzonwabisa ongenanto yakwenza nabo, kwaye ubakhuthaze ukuba benze njalo. Ayisiyiyo into yokuba ufuna ukuzinyanzela ukuba uchithe ixesha ungahlali nalo, kungenxa yokuba usenza indawo yeminqweno yakho kubudlelwane bakho isempilweni kakhulu. Ikuvumela ukuba uchithe ixesha elithile ungahlali, kwaye ulonwabele ixesha owabelana ngalo nabanye.
Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uchithe lonke ixesha lokuvuka kunye. Qiniseka ukuphuma kwakho ngaphandle kwentsomi yakho kwaye ubuye womelele.
Isiphelo
Ukudala ubomi obunothando not isayensi, kufana nobugcisa; umdaniso. Kukho iintsika ezithile ezinje ngezi sisiseko sento ekhethekileyo. Kodwa nje ukuba uzifumane, ulwalamano lwakho lolwakho ukuba udale. Akukho mtshato okanye ubudlelwane bufanayo, ke danisa kwisingqi sedrama yakho wakube ufundile la manyathelo asisiseko.