Umxholo
- Thatha isigqibo ngamalungiselelo okuhlala
- Yenza imithetho ngokubanzi
- 1. Uqhakamshelwano
- 2. Wenzela ntoni ngokwenene?
- 3. Ngubani ekufuneka azi?
- 4. Uthini umgca wexesha?
- 5. Ukuthandana nabanye abantu?
Kuza umzuzu kweminye imitshato apho iimvakalelo zingenakonakala, amagama angenakutsho, kunye nezenzo ezibi zingenziwa.
Xa uthando luphulukene kwaye omabini la maqela efuna ukufumana indlela engcono yokuphila ubomi, ukwahlukana kuhlala kuyimpendulo yombuzo- "Senza ntoni ngoku?"
Kuxhomekeka ekubeni ukwahlukana kwakho kuya kuthetha ntoni emtshatweni wakho, indlela yakho yokwenza iya kwahluka. Ukuba usondela ekwahlukaneni ngendlela yokulingwa, uyakwenza izigqibo ezahlukileyo kunomntu osebenzisa ukwahlukana kwakhe njengenyathelo lokuqhawula umtshato.
Akukho sisombululo sigqibeleleyo xa umtshato wakho ubambelele ngentambo, kodwa ukwahlukana ubuncinci kukukhetha.
Ngenxa yokuba kuninzi onokucinga ngayo ngaphandle kwesiphango esineemvakalelo, kubalulekile ukuba ubuncinci wazi iziseko. Funda ukuze ujonge isikhokelo sethu sokwahlukana komtshato:
Thatha isigqibo ngamalungiselelo okuhlala
Ukuba wena neqabane lakho nikhetha ukwahlukana ngeendlela kwisilingo okanye ngokusisigxina, kuya kufuneka nibonisane ngemeko yokuhlala yomnye umntu ngexesha elifanelekileyo nangembeko. Chaza indawo oza kuhlala kuyo kwaye uxoxe ngokufikelela komnye umntu kule ndawo yokuhlala.
Abanye abantu abatshatileyo bahlukane ngokwemigaqo emikhulu, ke ngoko ukwabelana ngezitshixo kwiindawo zokuhlala ezintsha akunakuba kude kakhulu. Ezinye izibini ziyahlukana njengoko ubudlelwane babo bomtshato nobobuhlobo buya buvutha. Kwimeko apho, thintela ukunika isitshixo omnye komnye, kwaye ufumane indawo yokuhlala ekhuselekileyo apho uyazi ukuba unokufumana uxolo.
Nokuba ukhetha ntoni, ukufumana indlu okanye indlu entsha kuya kubaluleka ekuvumela ukwahlukana kwakho kuqhubeke. Ukuba ubonile umboniso bhanyabhanya Ukwahlukana kunye noVince Vaughn noJennifer Aniston, unoluvo lwento enokwenzeka ukuba abantu ababini bakhethe ukuhlala kunye emva kokwahlukana okanye ukwahlukana. Nika omnye nomnye indawo eyimfuneko yokuphilisa kuyo nayiphi na into efuna ukulungiswa.
Yenza imithetho ngokubanzi
Ukungavisisani kuhlala kubila kwinto enye kunye nakwenye into kuphela: unxibelelwano olungelulo okanye ukungabikho kokulindelweyo kubudlelwane. Esi isenokuba sisizathu sokuba uzive ukuba umtshato ubusematyeni kwindawo yokuqala. Eyona ndlela yokutshintshela kulwahlulo oluhloniphekileyo kukunyaniseka nokuphambili malunga noku kulandelayo:
- Niqhagamshelana kangaphi
- Yintoni injongo yokwahlukana? Ngaba niyasidinga isithuba okanye ngaba le yeyokuqala nje njengoko nobabini niya kuqhawulo mtshato?
- Uxelela bani ... kwaye nini
- Kude kube nini uceba ukuhlala uhlukane
- Ukuthandana nabanye abantu okanye akunjalo?
1. Uqhakamshelwano
Ngaba uya kulunqumamisa unxibelelwano ngokupheleleyo okanye uhlale unxibelelana? Oku akubonakali ngathi yinto enkulu, kodwa ukuba nemithetho yokuzibandakanya emva kokuba ukhethe ukwahlula iindlela kuya kuba kubalulekile kwimpilo yobudlelwane, nokuba kukho amathemba okuvuselela okanye hayi. Ukuba oku akuxoxwa ngako, ngokuqinisekileyo umntu uya kufikelela kwaye omnye angaphenduli, eshiya umntu ofikelele ekubeni sesichengeni nasenzakalisweni. Oku kuyakudibanisa ukwahlula okukhulu phakathi kwala maqela mabini. Yazisa omnye nomnye ukuba ufuna ukuthetha kaninzi kangakanani kwaye kufanele kulindelwe ntoni njengoko ningena ngokwahlukana.
2. Wenzela ntoni ngokwenene?
Ngaba uthabathe nje ixesha uvumele izinto zipholile, okanye ngaba ukwahlukana kwakho lilitye elicacileyo lokuqhawula umtshato? Ukuba wena neqabane lakho anikho kwiphepha elinye apha, izinto zinokuba mbi. Qiniseka ukuba uhlala phantsi, uthethe uphume, kwaye usiqonde kakuhle isizathu sokwahlukana. Sukungena kuyo ucinga ukuba isisombululo sethutyana kwiingxaki zakho zomtshato ngelixa iqabane lakho langaphambili sele unonyawo olunye uphume ngalo. Zikhusele kunye nemeko yobudlelwane bakho ngokuthi ucace kangangoko kunokwenzeka kwasekuqaleni.
3. Ngubani ekufuneka azi?
Kwihlabathi lanamhlanje kumajelo asekuhlaleni, apho nabani na angathumela nantoni na nangaliphi na ixesha, wena neqabane lakho nimele nicinge ngenqanaba lenu labucala ngethuba lokwahlukana. Ngaba uza kuthi uxelele iintsapho zakho? Ngaba uza kuxelela nabani na? Le mibuzo ifuna ukuphendulwa ngaphambi kokuba umntu angene kuFacebook kwaye athumele konke malunga nemicimbi yomtshato wakho, ngubani owenze ntoni, ngubani othethe ntoni, njl.
4. Uthini umgca wexesha?
"Ukulinda ukubona okwenzekayo" sisicwangciso esibi. Ukuba ungena ekwahlukaneni nale mindset, iya koyisa yonke injongo; ngakumbi ukuba unethemba lokubuyela kunye emva kwexesha elithile nihlukene. Akufunekanga ubeke isiphelo esipheleleyo kule meko, yiba nembono yokuba nizimisele ukwahlukana nobabini ngaphambi kokuba nithathe inyathelo lokuqhawula umtshato okanye ukubuyela kunye. Ukwahlukana kunokuba yindawo yokuhlanjululwa komtshato ukuba akukho xesha libekiweyo. Ungahlukana, "linda ubone ukuba kwenzeka ntoni", emva koko ungenzi nto malunga nayo kangangeminyaka emi-5. Thatha isigqibo malunga nobude bokwahlukana ngaphambi kokungena nzulu kakhulu.
5. Ukuthandana nabanye abantu?
Khumbula, nakuphi na ukungavisisani kunokubuyiselwa emntwini ongakhange ahlangabezane nolindelo lweqabane lakhe (nokuba lichazwe ngokucacileyo okanye akunjalo). Nangona kuya kuba nzima ukuxoxa ngombono wokuba nobabini nibone abanye abantu, kubalulekile ukugcina ubudlelwane obuhle kunye nomntu owahlukane naye. Yenza ulindelo lwakho lucace kwaye umamele iqabane lakho. Ukuba nezi ncoko zinzima ngoku kuya kukhokelela kwiintloko ezingaphantsi kwendlela.
Ubudlelwane kunye neemeko zakho zahlukile kuwe nakwiqabane lakho, kodwa ezi zikhokelo ziya kukunceda kakuhle njengoko uhamba emanzini amdaka okwahlukana.
Yenza ulindelo lwakho lucace, uyazi ukuba ufuna ntoni ngokwahlukana, kwaye wazi ukuba kuya kufuneka wenze eyona ilungeleyo wena