Umxholo
- 1. Sitshate sisebancinci kakhulu kwaye sikhawuleze kakhulu
- 2. Unxibelelwano olubi
- 3. Umkhohlisi olandelwayo
- 4. Iindlela ezahlukeneyo
- 5. Akukho bomi besini
Asikaze sithande ukuyicinga xa siqala ebomini bethu bomtshato, kodwa amanani-manani akhoyo: Iipesenti ezingama-46 zemitshato eUnited States iphela kuqhawulo mtshato. Ayisiyo yonke imitshato ephela ngenxa yezizathu ezifanayo, ke sicinge ukuba siza kuthetha nabantu abathile abaqhawule umtshato ukuze baqonde ukuba yintoni eyonakalise ubudlelwane babo. Ibali lomntu wonke lahlukile, kodwa sonke sinokusinceda siqonde eminye yemingxunya esimele ukuyiphepha ukuze sonwabe emitshatweni ehlala ihleli.
1. Sitshate sisebancinci kakhulu kwaye sikhawuleze kakhulu
USusan, oqhawule umtshato eneminyaka engama-50, usixelela ngento eyenzeka emtshatweni wakhe. “Ndadibana noAdam xa wayesemkhosini; umntakwethu wayekuMkhosi woMoya kwaye wandimemela kweli theko ngesiseko. Sasisencinci kakhulu — kwiminyaka yethu yeshumi elivisayo, kwaye umtsalane ngephanyazo. Ndicinga ukuba nam nditsalelekile kwinto endiyaziyo ngobomi basemkhosini-ukuba ngokutshata no-Adam, ndiza kuba nobomi bokuhamba kunye noluntu. Ke xa wayesele eza kuthunyelwa emva kweeveki ezintandathu sidibene, ndamtshata. Yeyiphi impazamo.
Sasisebancinci kakhulu kwaye sasingaziwa.
Ewe, zonke ezo zinto zazinzima emtshatweni nakubomi bosapho, kodwa sasizibambele kunye abantwana. Kodwa ikhaya lethu lalizele yimilo nomsindo, kwaye xa abantwana bekhulile bemkile, saqhawula umtshato.
Ukuba bekufuneka ndiyenzile kwakhona, Ngendingazange nditshate ndisemncinci kangaka, kwaye ngendilinde ndaza ndadibana nomntu ubuncinci unyaka ukufumana ukuqonda ukuba ngoobani kanye kanye.”
2. Unxibelelwano olubi
Nantsi into awayithethayo uWanda ngomtshato wakhe. Asizange sithethe. Yiyo le nto eyonakalise umtshato wethu ekugqibeleni. Ndiya kuqhayisa kubahlobo bam malunga nendlela mna noRay esingazange silwe ngayo, kodwa isizathu esingazange silwe kukuba asizange sithethe konke.
URay wayevaliwe ngokweemvakalelo, uphephe ngokupheleleyo nawuphi na umxholo onokuthi umenze azive nto ithile.
Kwaye ndinesidingo esikhulu sokuvulela iqabane lam malunga nezinto-ezonwabisayo okanye izinto ezibuhlungu. Kwaphela iminyaka ndizama ukumenza azibandakanye nam ... ukuthetha ngemicimbi ebangela iingxaki emtshatweni wethu. Wayemane evala kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ashiye indlu.
Ekugqibeleni, andinakukwazi ukuyithatha. Ndifanele iqabane elikwaziyo ukuvula nam ngayo yonke into, eyayineemvakalelo. Ke ndiye ndafaka uqhawulo mtshato kwaye ngoku ndibona umntu omkhulu okwaziyo ukuba nolwalamano olusenyongweni. Wenze umahluko omkhulu! ”
3. Umkhohlisi olandelwayo
UBrenda wayesazi ukuba umyeni wakhe wayenobomi obusebenzayo bokuthandana ngaphambi kokuba bathembisane. Into awayengayazi, nangona kunjalo, yayikukuba wayenesidingo sokuqhubeka nokubona amaqabane amaninzi nasemva kokuba bebophe iqhina.
"Ndandimthanda kakhulu umyeni wam omhle, omnandi, wesilwanyana-esilwanyana," usitshela. “UPhilip wayengubomi bepati, kwaye bonke abahlobo bam bandixelela indlela endandinethamsanqa ngayo ngokuba umyeni wam wayenomtsalane kwaye enentlalontle.
Andizange ndikrokre ukuba uyasebenza ekujongeni ii -apps kunye neewebhusayithi ndide ndifumane umyalezo kuFacebook ovela komnye umfazi endazisa ukuba umyeni wam ebethandana naye kule minyaka mibini idlulileyo.
Enjani yona into yokuvuka! Andinalwazi kodwa ndiyaqikelela ukuba bubungozi bazo zonke iisayithi ezisekwe kwi-intanethi-mfo wakho unokuba nobomi obumbaxa kwaye abufihle ngokulula. Ke ndiye ndadibana naye ndaye ndaqonda ukuba le yinxalenye yobuntu bakhe kwaye ngekhe itshintshe. Ndafaka uqhawulo mtshato kungekudala emva koko. Ndine-boyfriend enkulu ngoku, engakhange ibonakale intle okanye intlalontle njengoFilipu, kodwa ngubani othembekileyo kwaye ngekhe azi ukuba yeyiphi into yokuthandana! "
4. Iindlela ezahlukeneyo
UMelinda usixelela ukuba yena nomyeni wakhe bahlukana nje. Kubuhlungu kakhulu kuba engqondweni yam umtshato ngowobomi. Kodwa njengokuba sikhula, umdla wethu kunye nendlela yethu yokuphila yahamba yaya kumacala ahlukeneyo. Ndiyacinga ukuba besinokusebenza nzima ukuxabisa iimfuno zomnye nomnye, kodwa bendifuna umyeni wam “omdala” abuye, umfana owayengoyena mhlobo wam usenyongweni, endandihlala naye nje xa sasingasebenzi.
Malunga neminyaka eli-15 sitshatile, yonke le nto yatshintsha. Uchithe impela-veki esenza eyakhe into — nokuba kukucoca indawo yakhe yokusebenzela okanye uqeqesho lomnye umdyarho. Ezi zinto azindinamdla kokuncinci ke ndiye ndavelisa eyam inethiwekhi yabahlobo, kwaye wayengeyonxalenye yalonto.
Uqhawulo-mtshato lwethu besisigqibo sobabini. Kwakungekho ngqiqweni ukuhlala kunye ukuba asabelani nantoni na.
Ndiyathemba ukuba ndizakufumana umntu ofuna ukuxhamla ubomi bam, kodwa okwangoku, ndenza nje eyam into, kwaye nomntu wam wangaphambili wenza eyakhe.
5. Akukho bomi besini
UCarol usixelela ukuba ukungabikho kobomi ngokwasemzimbeni, obusondeleyo yayingumququ owaphula umqolo wenkamela kwaye wakhokelela ekutshatyalalisweni komtshato.
Umtshato wethu siwuqale kamnandi ngesondo. Kulungile, kwakungazange kube yiglue eyayisibambe kunye, kwaye i-ex yam yayingenayo inqanaba lomnqweno endalenzayo, kodwa sasiza kulala ngesinye kanye ngeveki, ubuncinci.
Kodwa njengoko iminyaka yayihamba, oku kwancipha kwaba kanye ngenyanga. Kungekudala siza kuhamba iinyanga ezintandathu, unyaka omnye, ngaphandle kwesondo.
Xa ndibetha i-40, kwaye ndandikhululekile kulusu lwam, i-libido yam yayisemlilweni. Kwaye i-ex yam yayingenamdla. Ndazixelela ukuba kuzofuneka ndimqhathe okanye ndimyeke. Ndandingafuni ukuba neentlobano zesini — wayengafanelekanga — ndaza ke ndamcela ukuba aqhawule umtshato. Ngoku unomntu ohambelana ngakumbi (akanamdla kwisini, ngokutsho kwakhe) nam ke kunjalo. Zonke izinto ziphela kakuhle! ”