Umxholo
Xa yonke into ihamba kakuhle kubudlelwane, amaqabane awanothanda lokucinga kakhulu kunye nokuhlalutya izinto kwaye ayithathi yonke into. Nangona kunjalo, ukusukela ngethuba lokuqala lokuvela kweengxaki zokuqala, baqala ukuzibuza imibuzo. Oku kuqhelekile kubomi bothando kubo bonke abantu abatshatileyo.
Ngaba bakufumene oko bakulindeleyo emtshatweni wabo? Ngaba zingunobangela wezi ngxaki? Ngaba iqabane labo lifanelekile?
Oku kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye ukuzibuza yinto ekufuneka uyenzile rhoqo emva kwexesha ukuba ufuna ukuphucula ubudlelwane bakho kwaye ube ngumntu ongcono.
Umtshato wanamhlanje
Iyintoni intsingiselo yokwenene yomtshato?
Umtshato lelinye lawona maziko abalulekileyo kodwa ngoku, uphelelwa ngamandla ngokukhawuleza.
Nangona kunjalo, akuqhelekanga ukuva amabali malunga nabatshatileyo abashiye amaqabane abo, into eyayinqabile ngaphambili. Uluntu alugwebi kulo mkhwa kubomi bothando kwisibini ngasinye esitshatileyo.
Nangona kungafanelekanga ukuba siyityeshele into yokuba kubonakala ngathi izibini ezininzi zisebenzisa uqhawulo-mtshato njengesisombululo nangona kukho indawo yokuphucula. Umtshato noqhawulo-mtshato zithathe indawo entsha kwaye njengoko umhlaba utshintsha, utshintsho lwamkelwa sisibini sanamhlanje.
Ukongeza, abantu bayitshintshile imbono yabo- kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba abantu abancinci ababini bahlale kunye ngaphambi komtshato kwaye bafunde ngakumbi ngomnye nomnye. Lo ngumgaqo-nkqubo omnye womtshato owamkelwa phantse kuyo yonke indawo.
Ngapha koko, uthando lukhona, nokuba sithetha ngeqabane, umzali, okanye uthando olunobuhlobo, yinto efanele umzamo.
Kule mihla, xa abantu abaninzi bephantsi koxinzelelo lweengxaki zemihla ngemihla, ikakhulu ezo zikhona, umtshato kunye nobudlelwane zihlala zingakhathalelwanga. Uninzi lukholelwa ukuba indima yothando emtshatweni kunye nobudlelwane bexesha elide yinto yendalo. Kodwa, ngaba kunjalo?
Izigaba zobudlelwane
Kukho izigaba ezininzi apho lonke ubudlelwane buhamba khona.
Isigaba sokuqala kuhlala kuchazwa njengothandana okanye umntu onothando. Kubomi bothando kwisibini ngasinye esitshatileyo, eli linyathelo lokuthandana kunye nomtsalane.Ngamanqanaba aphezulu e-dopamine, i-oxytocin, kunye ne-norepinephrine, kunokubakho iziphumo ebezingalindelekanga kwezi khemikhali njengokulala okanye ukuphelelwa ngumdla.
Ividiyo engezantsi ichaza imichiza yothando kunye nendlela ezilawula ngayo indlela esivakalelwa ngayo.
Kukho imvakalelo yovuyo kwinqanaba lokuqala lolwalamano. Le yimvakalelo abantu abanayo ekuqaleni kobudlelwane xa bekholelwa ukuba ekugqibeleni balifumene iqabane elifanelekileyo.
Isigaba sesibini Inqanaba lobunzima bolwalamano. Kweli nqanaba, yonke into iyacaca kakhulu kulwalamano. Kukho umahluko phakathi kwenqanaba lokuqala nelesibini lobudlelwane.
Kweli nqanaba, baqala ukubuza imikhwa abayenzileyo ngeli xesha lifutshane. Umzekelo, undwendwela abazali beqabane labo, uqaphele ukuba iqabane lisebenza kakhulu, njl.
Kwelinye icala, elinye iqabane liza kuqala ukwenza imikhwa ebeliqhelisile ukuyenza ngaphambili njengokuthanda ubudlelwane, ukukhathalela ukuthanda kwabo, njl. Lo ngumzuzu xa ubudlelwane buba bukhulu kwaye eli lixesha elihlala likhokelela emtshatweni.
Isigaba sesithathu Lixesha lokusebenza kwesi sibini sifumana ukulingana kubudlelwane. Kukho uxolo, ukuzola, kunye nokwamkeleka kubudlelwane.
Kweli nqanaba, nobabini niyakwamkelana ngokupheleleyo kwaye niyazi ukuba nisebenza njani niziphene. Ubomi bothando kwisibini ngasinye esitshatileyo kweli nqanaba bufikelela kwinqanaba lasekhaya. Niyazi kakuhle nobabini kwaye niyifumana imvisiswano omnye komnye.
Isigaba sesine Inqanaba lokuzibophelela xa nobabini nizuze into engaqhelekanga. Nobabini niyayiqonda eyona ntsingiselo yothando. Apha, ubudlelwane bufikelela kwinqanaba elikhulu apho ukuzibophelela kuvela entliziyweni nasengqondweni.
Ujonge uhambo olutsha lwezinye iinjongo zobudlelwane, ikhaya, kunye nabantwana.
Isigaba sesihlanu isigaba sokwenene sothando. Kwesi sigaba, nobabini niyasebenza kwaye niqinisekile ngothando kubomi bomtshato. Ubomi bothando kwisibini ngasinye esitshatileyo siyatshintsha kwesi sigaba njengoko siqala ukujonga phambili kwizinto ezingaphandle kolwalamano lwabo.
Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba ubenothando ngonaphakade?
Baninzi abantu abadida uthando nomtshato.
Yintoni uthando emtshatweni? Ungalubonisa njani uthando emtshatweni?
Uthando yimvakalelo esentliziyweni kunye nentsebenziswano kuhlala kuyinto ekufuneka uyenzile ukugqibezela “imisebenzi” efana nokucoca, ukupheka, ukukhathalela amatyala, ukufundisa abantwana, ukuthandana, njl njl. .
Ewe kunjalo, oku akuthethi ukuba ubomi bothando kwisibini ngasinye esitshatileyo yinto engekhoyo. Uthando lubaluleke kakhulu emtshatweni. Kodwa kuyamangalisa ukuba bangaphi abantu abangaphumeleliyo ukuqonda ukuba uthando luthetha ntoni emtshatweni kwaye bonakalisa imitshato yabo.
Umzekelo, abantu bahlala bedibanisa uthando kunye nezinto. Akukho nto igwenxa ukuba elinye lamaqabane liya kumdlalo webhola ekhatywayo okanye umboniso wefashoni kunye nabahlobo bawo. Kukwakho neemeko apho elinye lamaqabane lithembele kakhulu kwelinye iqabane. Kunzima kakhulu ukuba umntu omnye “athwale ubunzima” babantu ababini.
Ubomi bothando kwisibini ngasinye esitshatileyo yinto ekufuneka igcinwe kwaye ixatyisiwe. Kukho izinto ezithile ezinjengonxibelelwano oluhle, ukunxibelelana ngokwasemzimbeni, kunye nokuphuma kwesiqhelo rhoqo emva kwexesha elinokuphucula ubomi bothando kwizibini ezonwabileyo emtshatweni kwaye zenze ubomi obunempumelelo emtshatweni.