Umxholo
- Uxela njani ukuba ubuxoki bakho buyatshabalalisa okanye akunjalo?
- Kutheni ubuxoki babo kubudlelwane
- 1. Ukuxoka kubudlelwane kunciphisa ukuthembana
- 2. Ubuxoki kubudlelwane bonakalisa ulwalamano olusondeleyo namava
- 3. Ubuxoki kubudlelwane kunokuba nzima ukubugcina
- 4. Ukukhuthaza i-paranoia kuwo omabini amaqabane
- 5. Ivumela ityala kunye nokuphepha okulandelayo ukuba kungene kulwalamano
- 6. Iintloni kunye nokusola kunokukhula
- 7. Ukulala kubudlelwane kunokubangela uxinzelelo lwengqondo
Ubuxoki obuncinci obumhlophe ukugcina iimvakalelo zeqabane lakho, okanye ukubakhuthaza ukuba benze into ofuna bayenze konke kulungile kwaye kulungile.
Obo 'buxoki bumhlophe' bahlala beyinxalenye eyimfuneko yonxibelelwano kunye nothethathethwano ngobomi bomtshato. Nangona kunjalo, izinto zinokujika zibe muncu xa isibini sifumana ubuxoki bokwenyani kubudlelwane babo okanye ubuxoki obuninzi obumhlophe.
Iziphumo zobuxoki kubudlelwane zinokuba nefuthe elinzulu nelonakalisayo kuwo omabini amaqabane nakubudlelwane ngokwabo.
Uxela njani ukuba ubuxoki bakho buyatshabalalisa okanye akunjalo?
Elula, umthetho olungileyo wesithupha kukucinga ukuba bonke ubuxoki kubudlelwane buyonakalisa.
Nokuba ubuxoki nokufihla malunga nendlela oyisebenzisa ngayo imali, apho wawukhona xa 'uphuma' nokuba uthembekile, uziva njani ngeqabane lakho, ubudlelwane, isini, abantwana kunye nobomi bemihla ngemihla.
Ukuxoka kubudlelwane, nokuba abamsulwa okanye abayi kuba nesiphumo.
Nokuba awuqapheli ziphumo zobuxoki kakhulu ngelo xesha. Ukuba iqabane lakho liyakuqonda ukuba uyaxoka, okona kulungileyo linokungakuthathi nzulu ngalo lonke ixesha, kwaye okona kubi kukukhokelela kwiipateni ezonakalisayo.
Kutheni ubuxoki babo kubudlelwane
Uninzi lwabantu luya kuthatha ukuba ubuxoki kubudlelwane buhlala buvela kwelinye iqabane ukukopela kwelinye, kodwa zininzi ezinye izizathu zokuba kutheni ubuxoki buvela kubudlelwane obufana;
- Iqabane elixokayo lixoki elinyanzelekileyo eliye lakhula ukusuka kumava abo adlulileyo ebomini.
- Iqabane elixokayo li-narcissist.
- Kukho ukukopela.
- Ukuxoka kunokwenzeka malunga nokukhetha kwakho ngokwesondo, iimfuno kunye neemfuno.
- Amaqabane anokuxoka malunga nendlela abaziva ngayo malunga namaqabane abo kunye nobudlelwane babo.
- Elinye iqabane lisenokungalungeli ngemali kunye nemicimbi yezemali njengomnye.
- Iindlela ezahlukileyo zokuba ngumzali.
- Ubuxoki kubudlelwane obukhoyo ukunqanda ukulawula okanye ukungaziphathi kakuhle kweqabane elinye.
- Iqabane elinye linendlela yokuphepha yokuthintela kunye nobuxoki bokuzenzela indawo.
Ngelixa ayiluluhlu olukhethekileyo, ungabona ukuba zininzi kangakanani iindlela ubuxoki obunokungena ngazo kubudlelwane.
Ubuxoki kubudlelwane butshabalalisa njani
1. Ukuxoka kubudlelwane kunciphisa ukuthembana
Njengomntwana, ngokuqinisekileyo wawunaso isifundo kubazali bakho okanye kootitshala malunga nokuba ukuthembana kuthabatha ixesha elingakanani ukwakha, kodwa ungaphulukana nako ngemizuzwana. Sisifundo sobomi esixabisekileyo, kunjalo. Kwaye iyinyani kubudlelwane.
Nabuphi na ubuxoki kubudlelwane buya kunciphisa amanqanaba okuthembela onawo njengesibini.
Ubuxoki obuncinci bunokungawenzi umohluko obonakalayo kwinani lokuthembela onalo kubudlelwane, kodwa uninzi lobuxoki obuncinci bunokunciphisa loo mali kwintliziyo.
Ubuxoki obukhulu, obutshabalalisayo buza kuyitshabalalisa iphuli yokuthembana kwangoko ikushiye kwimeko apho kuya kufuneka wenze umsebenzi omninzi, ngaphezulu kwexesha elide ukulungisa umonakalo obangelwe bubuxoki kubudlelwane, ukuba kunokwenzeka njalo.
2. Ubuxoki kubudlelwane bonakalisa ulwalamano olusondeleyo namava
Ngaphandle kokuthembana ungalufumana njani ulwalamano? Ungabuthathaka njani ngokwaneleyo kwiqabane elixokayo ukuze ubathembe ukuba uza kuba nomdla kuwe, okanye ukwazi ukubonisa ukungafihli kwakho nokuba sesichengeni kwabo?
Impendulo, awukwazi. Ukuphulukana nokuthembana kunye nolwalamano olusenyongweni olubambe ubudlelwane kunye lujika lube luthuli.
3. Ubuxoki kubudlelwane kunokuba nzima ukubugcina
Ubuxoki kunokuba nzima ukukhumbula, ekuhambeni kwexesha iqabane elixokayo liyakulibala ukuba baxoke ngantoni kwaye yintoni abangayenzanga- ukushiya imikhondo kwiqabane labo eliya kuqala iintsimbi zabo zokukhala.
Ezi ntsimbi ze-alamu ziya kubangela ukuba iqabane elingaxokiyo likrokre, ukuthembana nokusondelelana kulwalamano kuya kuncipha, kwaye iqabane elixokayo ngoku liza kuba ngasemva ngasemva ngaphandle kokuba benyuke bachaze ngokunyanisekileyo okanye baqhubeke nokudala ubuxoki obuninzi. ukuzomba emngxunyeni omkhulu kakhulu.
Ngokufanelekileyo, ukuba uzifumana ukule meko, esona sisombululo sisiso kukuba, ukunyaniseka - ungaqhubeki nokuxoka!
4. Ukukhuthaza i-paranoia kuwo omabini amaqabane
Iqabane elixokayo lixhalabile malunga nokubanjwa kunye neendawo zokungcebeleka ukuze uzotywe, uzikrokrele kwaye ungazithembi; Iqabane elinyanisekileyo liyaxhalaba malunga nokuba kutheni zineentsimbi ezihlaba umkhosi kuyo yonke indawo.
IParanoia inokuzala kwaye ibangele ukuba omabini amaqela azive enexinzelelo, enexhala kwaye engonwabanga kodwa inye kuphela iqabane eliya kusiqonda isizathu sokuba liqhubeke nokudibanisa iparanoia elihlangabezana neqabane elingaziyo.
5. Ivumela ityala kunye nokuphepha okulandelayo ukuba kungene kulwalamano
Iqabane elixokayo liqala ukuhlakulela imvakalelo yokuziva linetyala malunga noko bakwenzileyo kubudlelwane babo kunye neqabane labo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha banokujikela kwindlela yokuziphatha enokuphepha ukuphikisa ubuxoki babo nokuzikhusela.
Ukuziphatha okungaphephekiyo kunokuba ndlongondlongo okanye kungabikho mntu, umzekelo, iqabane elixokayo lizama ukufihla ukuxoka ngokubangela iimpikiswano zokuphepha ukubanjwa kubuxoki.
Ezinokuphinda zizale ityala kwiqabane elinyanisekileyo njengoko zinokuthatha uxanduva lwazo kwimpikiswano- xa yayingelotyala labo kwaphela.
6. Iintloni kunye nokusola kunokukhula
Vumela le meko ukuba ikhule ngokuhamba kwexesha, kwaye ngoku iqabane elixokayo lisemngciphekweni wokuziva lihlazo ngento abayenzileyo, nangendlela abaphathe ngayo iqabane labo, hayi ngenxa yobuxoki kodwa ukungaziphathi kakuhle, ukuba ndlongondlongo, ukungaziphathi kunye noxinzelelo ngokungathandabuzekiyo ikho nakwiqabane elinyanisekileyo.
Iintloni zinokujika zibekek 'ityala, kwaye imeko ekhokelayo isikhokelela kwinqanaba lethu lokugqibela.
7. Ukulala kubudlelwane kunokubangela uxinzelelo lwengqondo
Akukho sidingo sokuchaza ukuba sifike njani kweli lizwe xa ucinga ngokufihlakeleyo, ukusola, ukuziva unetyala, iintloni, uxinzelelo kunye nokulahleka kobuhlobo, ukuthembana kwanentlonipho.
Ubuxoki ngoku bembile umngxunya ongenasiphelo kulwalamano esele liwele kuwo omabini amaqabane.
Ithuba lesibini lokubaleka kukuba iqabane elixokayo liqala ukuchitha iti!
Xa ufunda iziphumo zokuxoka kubudlelwane, uyabona ukuba nokuba bubuxoki obubodwa okanye obubini bunokuba yingozi kangakanani. Kulula kakhulu ukujongana nemicimbi yakho yobudlelwane, okanye iimfuno zakho zobuqu ngqo kunye neqabane lakho ukuze nobabini nibe nethuba lokusebenza kunye kunye - ngendlela esempilweni engenakonakalisa.