Iingcebiso ezi-7 zokuLawula ukungaboni ngasonye kunye nokuLwa ngokuLungileyo kuBudlelwane

Umbhali: Peter Berry
Umhla Wokudalwa: 19 Eyekhala 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 1 Eyekhala 2024
Anonim
Iingcebiso ezi-7 zokuLawula ukungaboni ngasonye kunye nokuLwa ngokuLungileyo kuBudlelwane - I-Psychology
Iingcebiso ezi-7 zokuLawula ukungaboni ngasonye kunye nokuLwa ngokuLungileyo kuBudlelwane - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Inxalenye yabo bonke ubudlelwane, nokuba bubuhlobo okanye ubudlelwane bothando, kubandakanya ukungavisisani. Inxalenye yemeko yomntu.Sonke sahlukile kwaye ngamanye amaxesha loo mahluko ufuna ukuxoxwa. Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokungavumelani neqabane lakho okanye nokuxabana.

Iingxoxo zenzeka kubo bonke ubudlelwane kwaye kukho iindlela ezisempilweni zokuphikisana ezinokusondeza kufutshane njengesibini kunokuba zikusundulule kude omnye komnye. Uninzi lwabantu abatshatileyo abafuna iingcebiso ngezibini bafuna ukuba bakwazi ukufunda ukunxibelelana ngcono. Bangena ngenxa yokuba bafuna inkxaso yokuva amaqabane abo nokumanyelwa liqabane labo.

Akukho mntu usifundisa ngokwenene ukuba kuthetha ntoni ukulwa nokulingana. Sifunda esikolweni ngokwabelana okanye sixelelwe ukuba akulunganga ukuthetha izinto ezithile ngabantu kodwa akukho klasi inene elisifundisa indlela yokunxibelelana nabanye. Ngoko ke, sifunda indlela yokunxibelelana nendalo esingqongileyo. Ihlala iqala ngokujonga indlela abazali bethu abaxabana ngayo kwaye njengoko sineminyaka yobudala siqala ukujonga olunye ulwalamano lwabantu abadala ukuze sifumane imikhombandlela yendlela yokulwa ngokufanelekileyo kunye nethemba lokuba sikwenza ngokuchanekileyo.


Eli nqaku liza kukunika izikhombisi ezimbalwa malunga nendlela yokulwa ngokufanelekileyo kunye nokuphepha ukonakalisa ubudlelwane bakho. Ndingathanda ukunika isikhalazo esincinci sokuba eli nqaku lijolise kwizibini ezinengxabano kodwa ezingabandakanyeki kubundlobongela basekhaya okanye naluphi na uhlobo lokuxhatshazwa.

1. Sebenzisa “iingxelo zam”

Iingxelo zam zezinye zeendlela eziphambili eziza kwaziswa ngumcebisi wesibini ekuqaleni kwengcebiso ngezibini.

Uluvo olusemva kokusebenzisa “I iingxelo” kukuba lunika umntu ngamnye ithuba lokuthetha ngendlela isimilo seqabane lakhe esimenza azive ngayo kwaye anike ezinye iindlela zokuziphatha. Yindlela yokubonisa iimfuno zakho ngaphandle kokufumana isityholo okanye umdibaniso. "Mna iingxelo" zihlala zinendlela efanayo: Ndiva __________ xa usenza _____________ kwaye ndingathanda ______________. Umzekelo, ndiziva ndikhathazekile xa ushiya izitya esinkini kwaye ndingathanda ukuba uzicoce ngaphambi kokuba ulale.


2. Lulumkele ulwimi olugqithisileyo

Amaxesha amaninzi kwenzeka ntoni kwiingxabano namaqabane ethu kukuba siqala ukusebenzisa ulwimi olugqithisileyo ukuzama ukungqina into yethu okanye kuba siqala ukuyikholelwa. Zama ukunqanda ulwimi olugqithisileyo njengo “soloko” okanye “ungaze” kuba amaxesha amaninzi loo magama ayinyani.

Umzekelo, "awusoze ukhuphe inkunkuma" okanye "sihlala senza unothanda" okanye "awuzange undimamele". Ewe kunjalo, ezi ziingxelo ezivela kwindawo yokukhathazeka kunye neemvakalelo kodwa aziyonyani. Kuninzi lwezibini, uyakwazi ukufumana iimeko apho ubukhe wakwazi ukwenza into oyifunayo.

Ke, ukuba uqaphela ulwimi olugqithisileyo lusetyenziswa thatha inyathelo ubuye umva kwaye uzibuze ukuba ingaba yinyani na leyo. Ukujonga kwakhona incoko "Ndizithethile" kuya kunceda ekupheliseni ulwimi olugqithisileyo.

3. Mamela ukuqonda, hayi uku phinda ulwe

Eli lelinye lamaqhekeza anzima ukulandela emzuzwini wengxabano. Xa izinto zinyuka kwaye iimvakalelo zethu zithatha indawo, sinokufumana umbono wetonela apho ekuphela kwenjongo engqondweni kukuphumelela impikiswano okanye ukutshabalalisa iqabane. Xa oko kusenzeka, ulwalamano luyasokola. Ukuba umamele iqabane lakho ukuze ufumane iziphene kwiingxelo zakhe okanye ukuphindaphinda inqaku emva koko sele ulahlekile. Injongo yengxabano kubudlelwane kufuneka ibe kukudala ubudlelwane obunempilo.


Umbuzo ekufuneka uzibuze wona ngowokuba "ndingenza ntoni ukuqinisekisa ukuba ndivakalisa iimfuno zam ngelixa ugcina olu lwalamano luhleli". Indlela yokuqinisekisa ukuba umamele ukuze uqonde iqabane lakho endaweni yokuphinda-phinda kukuphinda ubuye oko kuthethwe liqabane lakho. Endaweni yokuphendula ngempikiswano, phendula ngokuthi “ke into oyifunayo kum i ____________. Ngaba ndiyive kakuhle? ” Kuyamangalisa ukuba ukuphindaphinda into ethethwa liqabane lakho kunokuyinyusa imeko kwaye kunokunceda nina nobabini nibe kwisivumelwano.

4. Musa ukuphazanyiswa zezinye izihloko

Kulula ukuphazamiseka kunye nezinye izihloko xa ukwitreyini yengxoxo ofuna ukuyiphumelela. Uqala ukuzisa amanqaku amadala okubangisana okanye imicimbi yakudala engazange isonjululwe. Kodwa ukwenza ingxabano kunye neqabane lakho ngale ndlela kuya kulimaza ubudlelwane; ungancedi. Ukuzisa iingxoxo ezindala ngale mizuzu akuyi kunceda nina nobabini nize kwisisombululo kodwa endaweni yoko kuyakuyandisa ingxabano kwaye kuyicime. Naliphi na ithuba lokuza kwisisombululo sesihloko esikhoyo liza kunyuka xa uzibona uphikisana malunga nezinye izinto ezi-5 ebezikhankanyiwe nje kuba omnye okanye nobabini ninomsindo kangangokuba nilahlekelwe ngumkhondo wento ebaluleke ngalo mzuzu. ; ubudlelwane hayi wena.

5. Ixesha lempikiswano

Abantu abaninzi baya kukuxelela ukuba ungabambi nantoni na kwaye uthethe nje into ethi qatha engqondweni yakho xa isenzeka. Ukunyaniseka omnye komnye ngamaxesha onke. Kwaye ndiyavumelana naloo nto ukuya kwinqanaba elithile kodwa ndicinga ukuba ixesha lokuthetha into libalulekile ekukwazini kwakho ukuzithetha kwaye kubaluleke ngakumbi, kubuchule beqabane lakho lokukuva. Ke khumbula ixesha lokuzisa into owaziyo ukuba iya kubangela impikiswano. Kunqande ukuzisa izinto esidlangalaleni apho uza kuba nabaphulaphuli kwaye apho kuya kuba lula ukuba i-ego yakho ithathe indawo kwaye ufuna ukuphumelela. Qaphela ukuzisa izinto xa unexesha elaneleyo lokuxoxa ngayo yonke into kwaye iqabane lakho alizukuziva lingxamile. Qaphela ukuzisa izinto xa wena neqabane lakho nizolile kangangoko. Amathuba akho okuchaza izinto ezikuxhalabisayo kunye nokufumana isisombululo kunye aya kwanda kakhulu xa ulikhumbula ixesha.

6. Thatha ixesha lokuphuma

Kulungile ukucela ikhefu. Kukho izinto ezithile esithi asinakho ukuzibuyisa. Kwaye uninzi lwamaxesha, siyazisola ngokuthetha ezo zinto yakuba impikiswano iphelile. Singaweva amazwi omsindo abila ngaphantsi komphezulu kwaye ngequbuliso siyaqhuma. Kukho iimpawu zokulumkisa ezithi zivele phambi kokuba uqhushumbe (umzekelo, ukuphakamisa ilizwi lakho, ukubangisana, ukubiza amagama) kwaye ezo ziiflegi ezibomvu ezithunyelwa ngumzimba wakho ukuba zikuxwayise ukuba ufuna ukuphuma; Ufuna ixesha ukuze uphole. Ke yicele. Kulungile ukucela ixesha elili-10 lokuphuma kwingxabano ukuze wena neqabane lakho nipholile, zikhumbuze ukuba ibiyintoni kanye kanye lempikiswano, kwaye nibuyele omnye komnye ngethemba lokuqonda okukhulu kunye nendlela ezolileyo.

7. Ziphephe izoyikiso zokungamkelwa

Le yeyona nto inkulu ukuyiphepha ngelixa uphikisana. Ukuba awucingi ngokushiya ulwalamano lwenu xa nobabini niziva nizolile sukuzisa esoyikiso kwingxabano. Ngamanye amaxesha siyaphazamiseka ziimvakalelo kwaye sifuna nje ukuphelisa impikiswano okanye sifuna nje ukuphumelela kangangokuba siphele sisongela ukushiya ubudlelwane. Ukoyikisa ukushiya okanye ukugrogrisa ngoqhawulo-mtshato yenye yeendlela ezinkulu onokuthi ulonakalise ngayo ulwalamano lwakho. Nje ukuba esoyikiso senziwe, sidala imvo yokungazithembi kubudlelwane obuza kuthatha ixesha elininzi ukuphola. Nokuba uphume ngumsindo, nokuba ubungazimiselanga, nokuba usitsho nje ukuphelisa impikiswano, ngoku usoyikisile ukuba uza kuyishiya. Ngoku unike iqabane lakho umbono wokuba le isenokuba yinto obukade ucinga ngayo. Ke, sukuyithetha ngaphandle kokuba uyinyanisile xa uziva uzolile.

Ndiyathemba ukuba ezi ngcebiso zincinci ziya kukunceda kubudlelwane bakho kunye neengxoxo zakho neqabane lakho. Khumbula ukuba kungokwemvelo ukuphikisana kwaye kuyindalo ukungavisisani. Kwenzeka kuthi sonke. Yintoni ebalulekileyo kukuba uzilawula njani ezo zinto zingavisisaniyo ukuze ubudlelwane bakho buhlale busempilweni kwaye buqhubeke nokukhula nokuba awuvumelani neqabane lakho.