Umxholo
- Ngaba ingqwalaselo ibalulekile kubudlelwane?
- Iziphumo zokungabikho kwengqwalaselo kubudlelwane
- 1. Ukuphulukana nonxibelelwano
- Ukungakhathali
- 3. Ukungazithembi nokuzithemba
- 4. Ukungabikho kobudlelwane obusondeleyo
- 5. Isesichengeni sokungathembeki
- Iimpawu zomlingane wakho zifuna ukuhoywa
- 1. Iqabane lakho lifuna ukusoloko likufutshane nawe ngalo lonke ixesha
- 2. Ukuziphatha kwabo kuguqukile
- 3. Bachitha ixesha elininzi emnxebeni
- 4. Bayekile ukwabelana ngeemfuno zabo
- 5. Abanamdla ekuhlaleni
- 6. Zibonakala zikude
- 6 Unobangela wokungahoywa
- 1. Iqabane lakho likhululeke kakhulu xa likujikelezile
- 2. Ukungalingani kobomi bobuqu nobungcali
- 3. Iqabane lakho liziva lingazithembanga
- 4. Impilo yengqondo yeqabane lakho ayintle
- 5. Iqabane lakho linobuntu obahlukileyo
- Kuthetha ntoni ukunikela ingqalelo kubudlelwane?
- Iindlela ezi-4 zokunika ingqalelo kwiqabane lakho
- 1.Qonda ukuba ngumzamo oqinisekileyo noqhubekayo
- Cwangcisa uhambo kunye
- 3. Yenza izigqibo kunye
- 4. Baqonde izikhalazo zabo
- Iindlela ezi-3 zokufumana ingqalelo yeqabane lakho
- 1. Musa ukuncama okwangoku
- 2. Benze bazive bexabisekile
- 3. Funa uncedo lweengcali
- Isiphelo
Luthini uluvo lwakho malunga nokungahoywa kubudlelwane?
Ngaba ucinga ukuba olu luhlobo nje lwentswelo okanye uphawu olusemthethweni lokuba umntu akufuneki ayikhathalele?
Ukuqwalaselwa kubalulekile, kwaye ayinamsebenzi nokuba sixakekile bubomi bethu obuxakekileyo, okanye sijolise kukonyuselwa, okanye sinokungqubana kwiishedyuli. Ukuba uyazi ukubaluleka konxibelelwano kunye nengqwalaselo, uyakufumana indlela yokwenza.
Ngaba ingqwalaselo ibalulekile kubudlelwane?
Satshata umntu esimthandayo kungekuphela kuba siye sathandana naye kodwa nangenxa yokuba sizibonile sisaluphala.
Kunye nezifungo zethu, siyakholelwa ukuba sele simfumene iqabane eliya kuba nathi ebunzimeni kwaye lingasokuze livumele ukuba sizive sinesithukuthezi okanye sisodwa, kodwa kuthekani ukuba ufumanisa ukuba ulangazelela iqabane lakho ukuba likuqaphele wena?
Abanye abantu banokuphosakela ukungabikho kwexesha kunye nokuqwalaselwa kubudlelwane njengokumangalisa ngokugqithileyo, njengabafazi bayayithanda ingqwalaselo kwaye abanakuhamba usuku ngaphandle kwayo, kodwa oko akuyonyani kwaphela.
Sonke sinqwenela ukuhoywa ngandlel 'ithile; ngokuqinisekileyo, kunqabile ukuba sibone amadoda ekhalaza “umfazi wam akandihoyi,” kodwa amadoda nawo afuna ingqwalaselo kuba ikwayindlela yokubonisa ukuba simthanda kangakanani umntu.
Ukuyibeka ngendlela ethe ngqo ngakumbi, ukuba siyamthanda umntu othile, siya kufumana indlela yokubonisa ukuba zithetha ukuthini kuthi, kwaye enye yeendlela ezilula zokwenza oku kukubanika ingqalelo.
Uthando kunye nengqwalaselo zilingana ngokuthe ngqo komnye nomnye kwaye zibaluleke kakhulu ekusindeni kobudlelwane.
Khumbula, ingqalelo ibalulekile.
Iziphumo zokungabikho kwengqwalaselo kubudlelwane
Ukuba elinye iqabane alifumani ngqwalaselo yaneleyo kwelinye iqabane, oko kunokubangela ukungqinelana kwaye kungakhokelela kwimpixano enkulu kubudlelwane. Musa ukudideka, kwaye ayisiyonto engenakusindiswa.
Ukungabikho kwengqwalaselo kubudlelwane kuyafana nokusilela konxibelelwano. Zidibene.
Nazi ezinye zeempembelelo ukuba elinye iqabane liya kusilela ukuhlawula ixesha elipheleleyo kunye nokuqwalaselwa hayi kuphela neqabane labo kodwa nolwalamano ngokwalo.
1. Ukuphulukana nonxibelelwano
Sisiphumo esibonakalayo ukuba uyayeka ukunika iqabane lakho uthando kunye nemeko efanelekileyo.
Uya utyhalela kude. Iincoko eziqhelekileyo zasebusuku ngoku ziye zaba yinto eyenzeka kanye ngenyanga, kwaye kungekudala ayizukuphinda ibekho. Nilala ebhedini enye kwaye nihlala ndlwini-nye, kodwa ngoku niphambukile.
Ngaba kufanele ukuba ifike kwinqanaba apho kufuneka uve iqabane lakho libuza, "kutheni ndirhalela ukuhoywa" - ingqalelo nothando ekufuneka luhlale lubakho kubudlelwane bakho?
Phambi kokuba uphulukane nalaa bhondi ikhethekileyo, funda ukunikela ingqalelo kubudlelwane.
Ukungakhathali
Ukungabikho koqwalaselo kubudlelwane kuya kusenza singakhathali ngeendlela ezininzi. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, asizukuzibona iimfuno zeqabane lethu, iqhina ekufuneka silisebenzisile, kunye nosapho esizama ukulakha.
Nokuba unaziphi na izizathu ezibangela ukuba ungalibali iqabane lakho, ayifanele.
3. Ukungazithembi nokuzithemba
Ukuba iqabane lakho liqhele ukungahoywa, amathuba okuba angazixabisi kwaye azithembe. Iya kuchaphazela ngokubonakalayo iqabane lakho ngaphezu kokuqonda kwakho.
Baza kuqala ukucinga ukuba abafumani ngqwalaselo yaneleyo kubudlelwane, mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba bengakufanelekeli oko, kwaye loo mvakalelo inokwaphula nabani na.
Ukwazi indlela yokulungisa ukuzithemba kwakho ubukele le vidiyo:
4. Ukungabikho kobudlelwane obusondeleyo
Ukuba uyayityeshela iqabane lakho, ubuninzi obunokubakho, akukho lwalamano lubandakanyekileyo kubudlelwane bakho.
Ngaba kungenxa yokuba ungasabathandi? Ngaba kungenxa yokuba akasabonakali emhle? Okanye ngaba uxakekile nje?
Ukungabikho kobuhlobo obusondeleyo kubuhlungu, kwaye ngokuthe ngcembe kubutshabalalisa ubudlelwane bakho.
5. Isesichengeni sokungathembeki
Umntu ongakhathalelwanga liqabane lakhe kunokwenzeka ukuba asabele ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo.
Banokubonakala belusizi kwaye bexinezelekile ekuqaleni, kodwa ukungabikho koqwalaselo kubudlelwane bakho kuya kuvula iingcango ezintsha zabantu ukuba bathathe inyathelo kwiqabane lakho.
Kuyenzeka ukuba sihlale sikhumbula.
Umntu ongaziva efunwa usesichengeni. Umntu ongakhathalelwanga ixesha elide uyakuba notyekelo lwabantu abakulungeleyo ukubanika ixesha nengqwalaselo ongenakukwazi ukuyenza- oku kukhokelela kukungathembeki.
Iimpawu zomlingane wakho zifuna ukuhoywa
Nika ingqalelo kwindlela oziphatha ngayo iqabane lakho kuwe. Amathuba kukuba, sele bethumela imiqondiso yokuba bafuna ingqwalaselo yakho eyahlukileyo kubudlelwane.
Izibini ezininzi zahlukana kuba; Nokuba umfazi udiniwe kukucela ingqalelo kumyeni wakhe, okanye indoda ayifumani ngqalelo kubudlelwane. Ungazigcina ezakho ngokuqaphela ukuba iqabane lakho liziphatha njengomntu ofuna ingqalelo.
Olu luhlu luyakunceda ufumane umfanekiso ocacileyo ucela ingqalelo kubudlelwane.
1. Iqabane lakho lifuna ukusoloko likufutshane nawe ngalo lonke ixesha
Ukuba iqabane lakho lihlala lifumana isizathu sokuba likufutshane nawe ngalo lonke ixesha kwaye lingaze likushiye wedwa, kuya kufuneka wazi ukuba ukungabikho kwengqwalaselo kubangela uloyiko lokushiywa.
Zama kwakhona: Imiba yokuShiya iMibuzo
2. Ukuziphatha kwabo kuguqukile
Ukwenza ukumba okukhohlakeleyo ngumqondiso ocacileyo womsindo ofihliweyo kunye nokungabikho koqwalaselo kubudlelwane. Iqabane lakho lisenokungonwabi ngokucinga rhoqo ngokuba kutheni ndirhalela ukuhoywa xa omnye umntu engenzi njalo.
Kuya kuba luncedo ukuba unokuthi uhoye ngakumbi iqabane lakho ukuze uqiniseke ukuba bonwabile.
3. Bachitha ixesha elininzi emnxebeni
Asinakukhanyela ukuba uninzi lwezibini zala maxesha zijongana neengxaki zazo ngokungazihoyi ixesha elide. Ukuba iqabane lakho liziva lihoyiwe nguwe, unokuxhomekeka kwitekhnoloji yokugcwalisa loo nto.
Abanye abantu bakhetha ukubukela iimovie kunye needrama, abanye bazibandakanya kwimidiya yoluntu, iindaba, kwaye abanye bayathuthuzeleka ngokuthetha nabanye kula maqonga eendaba kuba beziva bexhaswa.
Ukuba iqabane lakho lichitha ixesha elininzi kwifowuni kunawe, kuya kufuneka unike ingqalelo engakumbi kubo ukuze ugcine ubudlelwane bakho bomelele.
4. Bayekile ukwabelana ngeemfuno zabo
Cinga ukuba ucinga ukuba iqabane lakho liye lajika laba lijoni lomntu omnye. Bacinga ukuba bangaphatha nantoni na yonke into ebomini, kwaye bahlala benqaba ukuthatha nayiphi na inkxaso kuwe.
Yinto umqondiso ocacileyo ukuba kukho ukunqongophala ingqalelo kubudlelwane bakho. Bayakudinga ukuba ubekho ngakumbi kunaye, kwaye bayekile ukuba nethemba lokuba uza kuqonda. Lixesha lokuba uqaphele ukuba bafanelwe yingqwalaselo abayifunayo.
5. Abanamdla ekuhlaleni
Xa umntu engalufumani ulufaneleyo, baziva bengonwabanga kwaye bengafunwa. Iqela lenza ukuba bajonge kuwe njengomntu wasemzini kwaye bajongane nengxaki yokufumana ulwalamano olusenyongweni okanye ukwabelana ngesondo.
Luphawu olucacileyo lokuba kufuneka uchithe ixesha elinomgangatho wesibini ukunxibelelana kwakhona neqabane lakho.
6. Zibonakala zikude
Abanye abantu bayathanda ukubambelela ngakumbi kwaye bajikeleze amaqabane abo ngalo lonke ixesha, abanye bathanda ukwenza umgama kunye neqabane labo xa baziva bengahoywanga.
Zama ukuqonda ukuba babekufutshane nawe kuba baziva befunwa kwaye befuneka, kwaye ngoku abacingi ukuba uyakonwabela ukuba kunye nabo.
6 Unobangela wokungahoywa
Phantse akunakwenzeka ukukholelwa ukuba abantu abathandanayo bafuna ukulimaza amaqabane abo.
Abanye babo banokuba nobume obunetyhefu, kodwa uninzi lwabo lwenza oko kuba bengazazi iinyani ezibangela ukungabikho kwengqwalaselo kubudlelwane babo.
Uninzi lwexesha, abantu abawuboni umxholo wengxaki. Ngelixa izibini ezininzi zifuna ukusombulula nayiphi na imbambano kubudlelwane babo, ngelishwa, abayazi ukuba iphi na ingxaki.
1. Iqabane lakho likhululeke kakhulu xa likujikelezile
Ngamanye amaxesha xa abantu baziva bemkelwe kwaye bekhululekile, badla ngokulibala imigaqo esisiseko yobudlelwane; beveza izimvo zabo.
Xa siqala ubudlelwane, sibeka yonke imizamo emathanjeni ethu ukuba ibenze ukuba busebenze, kwaye nje ukuba ikhululeke, silibale ukubonisa uthando kunye nokuhoya.
Sesinye sezona zinto zibangela ukungabikho kwengqwalaselo kubudlelwane.
2. Ukungalingani kobomi bobuqu nobungcali
Ewe kubalulekile ukuba ujolise ekukhuleni kwekhondo lomsebenzi wakho, uxanduva kwezentlalo, kunye nezinye izinto zasekuhlaleni. Okwangoku, abanye abantu bayalibala ukugxila kubomi babo ngelixa besenza njalo.
Awunakuqonda ukuba uxakeke kakhulu emsebenzini wakho, ubomi bezentlalo kangangokuba uqale ukungahoyi oyena mntu ubalulekileyo ebomini bakho.
Olu hlobo lokuziphatha ngokuqinisekileyo luya kwenza iqabane lakho liziva linqongophele luthando kunye nokuqwalaselwa.
3. Iqabane lakho liziva lingazithembanga
Xa abantu bengaziva mnandi ngeziqu zabo, bacacisa ukungazithembi kwabo ngeendlela ezininzi. Kuya kunceda ukuba ufumanise ukuba ukuzithemba kwabo kuphantsi okanye baziva beqinisekile.
Eso sesinye sezizathu zokuba bangazivezi iimvakalelo zabo okanye bakuhoye. Kuya kufuneka uthethe neqabane lakho ukuba abaqinisekanga ngeziqu zabo kwaye baqale ukusebenza kubudlelwane bakho ngokukhawuleza.
Ukuziva bengakhuselekanga kunokubakhokelela ekubeni bakhathalele ukubonakalisa uthando lwabo.
4. Impilo yengqondo yeqabane lakho ayintle
Ukuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo nangokwengqondo kunokubonakala ngathi ayingombandela ekuqaleni, kodwa kungonakalisa ubudlelwane bakho nexesha.
Jonga nayiphi na imiqondiso yoxinzelelo, ukuphazamiseka emva koxinzelelo, uxinzelelo, okanye i-OCD. Ukuba nayiphi na le miqondiso yempilo yengqondo iyabonakala, eyona nto iya kuba kukuthetha ngayo ngayo.
Qiniseka ukuba ubaxelela ukuba ubakhona, kwaye ukuba baphantsi nzulu kuloo ndlela, bafumane uncedo lobuchwephesha.
5. Iqabane lakho linobuntu obahlukileyo
Mhlawumbi ungomnye wabo bantu bathanda ukuveza iimvakalelo zabo okanye baqiniseke ukuba iqabane labo liyazi ukuba uyintloko phezu kwezithende uthandana nabo.
Kodwa abanye abantu abayilungelanga le nto, kwaye, enyanisweni, baziva bengakhululekanga ukubonakalisa uthando lwabo. Oko akuthethi ukuba abalithandi iqabane labo, kodwa abanakho ukubonelela ngokungaqwalaselwanga kubudlelwane nakumaqabane abo.
Umahluko wobuntu unokubangela imvakalelo yokunqongophala koqwalaselo kubudlelwane.
Kuthetha ntoni ukunikela ingqalelo kubudlelwane?
Ukuba ufuna ukwazi ukuba ngoyena unikela ingqalelo ngakumbi, thintela iingxabano, ukukhula ngokwahlukeneyo, kunye nenzondo kunye neqabane lakho, kuya kufuneka ube liqabane elinomdla kwasekuqaleni. Kodwa, ungaqala ngokukhawuleza nje ukuba uqaphele ukuba uyasilela.
Zininzi iindlela onokuluvuselela ngazo ulwalamano lwakho kwaye umamele. Ukuqala, ungaqala ukumamela iqabane lakho ngaphezu kokuba wenze. Yiqonde into abayithethayo, uze ubuze imibuzo ngayo.
Ibonisa ukuba unomdla kule nto bakuxelela yona, kwaye baziva bethandwa ngakumbi. Buza malunga nomhla wabo, ukuba baziva njani, ukuba umsebenzi wabo uqhuba njani, lusenza njani usapho lwabo, kwenzeka ntoni ebomini babo, njl.
Yonke le mibuzo iya kubenza bazive bethandwa kwaye bazalise indawo kubudlelwane bakho. Ukubuza malunga nobomi beqabane lakho kunye nobomi bobuchwephesha yeyona ndlela ibalaseleyo yokuqwalaselwa ngakumbi.
Iindlela ezi-4 zokunika ingqalelo kwiqabane lakho
Ukuba ucinga ukuba awunikeli ingqalelo kwiqabane lakho abalicelayo, kwaye konakalisa ubudlelwane bakho. Unokufuna ukufunda ukusebenza nzima kubudlelwane bakho.
Ukuba awuqali ukunika ingqalelo kwiqabane lakho, kungekudala baya kuba kude, kwaye emva koko nobabini niziva ukunqongophala kwengqwalaselo kubudlelwane benu.
Nazi ezinye zeendlela ezinokukunceda ukhokele ngeendlela zokunika ingqalelo kwiqabane lakho.
1.Qonda ukuba ngumzamo oqinisekileyo noqhubekayo
Xa intlantsi iqala ukuphela kubudlelwane, abantu baqala ukujonga kude kumaqabane abo kwaye baqwalasele izinto ezahlukeneyo.
Qonda ukuba ubudlelwane obuluqilima bufuna ingqwalaselo engafaniyo kuni nobabini, kwaye ukufezekisa oko, kuya kufuneka unike ingqalelo iqabane lakho yonke imihla.
Cwangcisa uhambo kunye
Ngamanye amaxesha ishedyuli exakekileyo inokukhokelela kwingxaki yokungabikho kwengqwalaselo kubudlelwane. Ukuba ucinga ukuba ufuna ukwenza iqabane lakho lizive likhethekile kodwa lingenaxesha laneleyo, Cwangcisa uhambo.
Elinye ixesha lodwa linokwenza iqabane lakho lizive lixabisekile.
3. Yenza izigqibo kunye
Ngamanye amaxesha, ubomi obungathandekiyo bunokukwenza uzive ungalunganga kubudlelwane bakho okanye ukungabikho kwengqwalaselo.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba utshintsha indlela yesiqhelo yemihla ngemihla kwaye uqala ukwenza izinto kunye, inokuphula isoyolo kwaye ikusondeze kwiqabane lakho.
Qala ngokwenza izigqibo zemihla ngemihla kunye, kwaye niyakufumanisa ukuba nobabini nigqiba ukwenza phantse yonke into kunye.
4. Baqonde izikhalazo zabo
Ingabonakala ngathi iqabane lakho lihlala lihleli, kodwa kuya kufuneka uqonde iimvakalelo zabo. Kungangcono ukuba umbe nzulu ekubeni kutheni besenza oku.
Qonda ukuba sele besiva ukungabikho kwengqwalaselo kwicala lakho, kwaye ukuba uyayikhupha imicimbi yabo, kuya kwenza izinto zibe mbi ngakumbi.
Iindlela ezi-3 zokufumana ingqalelo yeqabane lakho
Ungalifumana njani iqabane lakho ukuba likuhoye?
Ngumsebenzi oqhubekayo, kodwa obu budlelwane bakho; uya kuba uzimisele ukusebenza kuyo.
1. Musa ukuncama okwangoku
Sukuncama iqabane lakho kodwa khumbula indlela yakho. Ukuba iqabane lakho lixakekile, unokufuna ukubacela ixesha labo lasimahla okanye bathethe.
Musa ukufuna; endaweni yoko, zama ukuqonda iqabane lakho. Esona sizathu siqhelekileyo sokuba abantu bakhethe ukungawahoyi amaqabane abo kukuba bazama ukukrokrela, nto leyo engayi kunceda.
2. Benze bazive bexabisekile
Ukuba ucinga akwanele, zithululele kulwalamano kancinci.
Pheka ukutya okhethekileyo kwaye ubanike umyalezo kwaye uzame ukuthetha.
3. Funa uncedo lweengcali
Ukuba nobabini ninemicimbi ethile ekufuneka niyisombulule, kutheni ungaqwalaseli ukucela uncedo lobuchwephesha? Iya konga ixesha kunye, kwaye iziphumo ziya kuba zintle!
Ukufuna uncedo lokugcina ubudlelwane bakho akusoze ube neentloni ngazo. Yinto onokuzingca ngayo kuba nobabini nisebenzela ukugcina ubudlelwane.
Isiphelo
Ukungabikho kwengqwalaselo kubudlelwane kunokuba yingxaki eqhelekileyo namhlanje, ngakumbi xa sixakekile kwaye sinoxinzelelo.
Qiniseka ukuba unake iqabane lakho kuba uthando, ingqalelo, kunye nentlonipho ziya kwenza ubudlelwane bakho bomelele.