Umxholo
- Siyintoni isiseko somona?
- Izizathu zomona emtshatweni
- Ikhwele lesifo
- Indlela umona olutshabalalisa ngayo ulwalamano
- Ngaba umona ungafundwa?
Ngaba iqabane lakho linomona ngokungekho ngqiqweni? Okanye ngaba nguwe emtshatweni oziva enomona xa iqabane lakho ligxile kwabanye abantu okanye kwimidla? Nabani na obonisa le ndlela yokuziphatha, umona emtshatweni yimvakalelo enetyhefu ethi, xa ihanjiswe kakhulu, inokuwutshabalalisa umtshato.
Kodwa usenokuphazanyiswa yimpembelelo yemithombo yeendaba kwaye uzibuze, ngaba umona uphilile kubudlelwane, njengoko beyibonisa kumdlalo bhanyabhanya okanye kumabonwakude.
Ngokuchasene noko kuboniswa yimithombo yeendaba kwiimuvi zothando, umona awulingani nothando. Umona ubukhulu becala ubangelwa kukungazithembi. Iqabane elinomona lihlala lingaziva ngathi "lanele" kwiqabane lalo. Ukuzithemba kwabo okuphantsi kubenza babone abanye abantu njengezisongelo kulwalamano.
Nabo, bazama ukulawula iqabane labo ngokubathintela ukuba bangabinabuhlobo bangaphandle okanye ukuzonwabisa. Le asiyondlela yokuziphatha esempilweni kwaye inokuwutshabalalisa umtshato ekugqibeleni.
Abanye ababhali babona iingcambu zekhwele kwasekuqaleni ebuntwaneni. Kuyajongwa phakathi kwabantakwabo xa sikubiza ngokuba "kukubangisana ngabantakwenu." Ngelo xesha, abantwana bakhuphisana ngokuqwalaselwa ngabazali babo. Xa umntwana ecinga ukuba abafumani thando lodwa, iimvakalelo zekhwele ziyaqala.
Uninzi lwexesha, le mbono iphosakeleyo iyahamba njengoko umntwana ekhula kwaye efumana inqanaba elifanelekileyo lokuzithemba. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, iyaqhubeka ekugqibeleni idlulisele kubudlelwane bobuhlobo xa umntu eqala ukuthandana.
Ke, ngaphambi kokuba siqhubeke nendlela yokuyeka ukuba nomona kunye nendlela yokoyisa umona emtshatweni, masizame ukuqonda ukuba yintoni ebangela umona emtshatweni kunye nokungaqiniseki emtshatweni.
Siyintoni isiseko somona?
Imiba enomona ihlala iqala ngokungazithembi. Umntu onomona uhlala eziva engafanelekanga.
Iqabane elinomona lisenokulindela izinto ezingekho ngqiqweni ngomtshato. Basenokuba bakhule kwimfesane yomtshato, becinga ukuba ubomi bomtshato buya kuba ngathi babona kwiimagazini nakwiimuvi.
Banokucinga ukuba "Bashiye bonke abanye" kubandakanya ubuhlobo kunye nokuzonwabisa, nazo. Okulindelweyo malunga nolwalamano olungenasiseko ngokwenyani. Abayiqondi into yokuba kulungile emtshatweni ukuba iqabane ngalinye kufuneka libe nemidla yabo yangaphandle.
Iqabane elinomona liziva ngathi linobunini kunye nokuba nezinto kwiqabane lalo kwaye liyala ukuvumela iqabane ukuba likhululeke ngenxa yokoyika ukuba inkululeko iya kubenza bakwazi ukufumana "umntu olunge ngakumbi."
Izizathu zomona emtshatweni
Kunokubakho izizathu ezininzi zomona kubudlelwane. Imvakalelo yesikhwele iyanyuka iye emntwini ngenxa yezehlo ezithile kodwa inokuqhubeka ukwenzeka nakwezinye iimeko, ukuba ayifakwanga ngononophelo ngexesha elifanelekileyo.
Iqabane elinomona linokuba nengxaki ezingasonjululwanga ebuntwaneni zobutshaba bomntakwenu, amava amabi kunye nokungaziphathi kakuhle kweqabane kunye nokreqo. Ngaphandle kwemicimbi yobuntwana, kunokwenzeka ukuba amava amabi kulwalamano lwangaphambili ngokungathembeki okanye ukunganyaniseki kukhokelela kumona kolandelayo.
Bacinga ukuba ngokuhlala belumkile (benomona), banokuthintela imeko ukuba ingaziphindi. Endaweni yoko, ibangela ukungazithembi emtshatweni.
Abaqondi ukuba oku kuziphatha okungenangqondo kuyityhefu kulwalamano kwaye kunokubangela ukuqhuba iqabane lakho, eliba sisiprofeto esizimeleyo. Ukugula komona kudala imeko apho umntu oxhwalekileyo azama ukuyiphepha.
Ikhwele lesifo
Inani elincinci lomona emtshatweni lisempilweni; uninzi lwabantu luchaza ukuba baziva benesikhwele xa amaqabane abo ethetha ngothando oludala okanye egcina ubuhlobo obungenatyala nabantu besini esahlukileyo.
Kodwa umona ogqithileyo kunye nokungazithembi emtshatweni kungakhokelela ekuziphatheni okuyingozi njengaleyo iboniswa ngabantu abanjengo-O.J. USimpson njengomyeni onomona no-Oscar Pistorius njengomthandi onomona. Ngethamsanqa, olo hlobo lomona we-pathological lunqabile.
Iqabane elinomona alinamona nje ngobuhlobo beqabane labo. Into yomona emtshatweni inokuchitha ixesha emsebenzini okanye ukuzibandakanya kwimidlalo yeveki okanye kumdlalo. Yiyo nayiphi na imeko apho umntu onomona engenakho ukulawula iimeko kwaye ke eziva esongelwa.
Ewe akukho ngqiqweni. Kwaye kuyonakalisa kakhulu, njengoko iqabane linokwenza okuncinci ekuqinisekiseni iqabane elinomona ukuba akukho sisongelo "apho."
Indlela umona olutshabalalisa ngayo ulwalamano
Umona omninzi kunye nemicimbi yokuthembana emtshatweni iya kuguga nakweyona mitshato mihle, njengoko igcwele kuzo zonke iinkalo zobudlelwane.
Iqabane elinomona lifuna ukuqinisekiswa rhoqo ukuba isoyikiso ekucingelwa asiyonyani.
Iqabane elinomona lisenokubhenela ekuziphatheni ngokunganyaniseki, njengokufaka isitshixo-kwi-keyboard yeqabane, ukuqhekeza iakhawunti yabo ye-imeyile, ukuhamba ngefowuni yabo kunye nokufunda imiyalezo, okanye ukubalandela ukubona ukuba baphi "ngokwenene".
Banokujongela phantsi abahlobo, usapho, okanye abo basebenza nabo. Ezi ndlela zokuziphatha azinandawo kubudlelwane obuphilileyo.
Iqabane elingenamona lizifumana likwimeko eqhubekayo yokuzikhusela, kufuneka liphendule ngayo yonke intshukumo eyenziweyo xa ingekho kwiqabane labo.
Bukela le vidiyo:
Ngaba umona ungafundwa?
Kuthatha ixesha elininzi kunye nomzamo ukujongana nomona emtshatweni. Kodwa, ungathatha amanyathelo afanelekileyo ukungafundi kunye nokuphazamisa iingcambu ezinzulu zomona.
Ke, ungajongana njani nomona emtshatweni?
Zininzi izinto onokuzenza ukunqanda umona ekuthinteleni umtshato wakho. Inyathelo lokuqala kukuthetha. Ungazama ukuthembela kubudlelwane bakho kwaye uthuthuzele iqabane lakho malunga nemicimbi ebakhathazayo.
Kwakhona, ukuba uziva ingathi nguwe obangela umona emtshatweni, kufuneka uzame ngazo zonke iindlela ukunqanda iimvakalelo zakho. Ukuba umtshato wakho usemngciphekweni, kufanelekile ukungena kwiingcebiso ukunceda ekunciphiseni iingcambu zomona.
Iindawo eziqhelekileyo apho ugqirha wakho uya kusebenza kuzo zibandakanya:
- Ukuqonda ukuba umona wonakalisa umtshato wakho
- Ukuzibophelela ekuqondeni ukuba isimilo sokuziphatha asisekelwanga kuyo nayiphi na into eyenzekayo emtshatweni
- Ukuyeka isidingo sokulawula iqabane lakho
- Ukwakha kwakhona ukuqonda kwakho kokuzixabisa ngokuzikhathalela kunye nokuzilolonga kuyilelwe ukukufundisa ukuba ukhuselekile, uyathandwa kwaye ufanelekile
Nokuba wena okanye iqabane lakho lihlangabezana nenqanaba elingaqhelekanga lomona emtshatweni, ikhwele elisengqiqweni, okanye umona ongenangqondo, njengoko kuchaziwe kwiYunivesithi yase-Georgia State, kuyacetyiswa ukuba ufune uncedo ukuba ufuna ukugcina umtshato.
Nokuba uziva ukuba umtshato ungaphaya kokugcina, ukufumana unyango kunokuba licebo elilungileyo ukuze kuhlolwe kwaye kunyangwe iingcambu zokuziphatha okungalunganga. Naluphi na ulwalamano lwexesha elizayo onokuba nalo lunokuba lolusempilweni.