Umxholo
- Sithini isitayile sokuncamathela esingakhuselekanga?
- Iindidi ze-attachment engakhuselekanga
- 1. Ukuqhotyoshelweyo okungahambi kakuhle
- 2. Ukuqhotyoshelwa okungakhuselekanga
- 3. Ukuncamathela kulungelelwaniso olungakhuselekanga
- Yintoni ebangela ukunamathela okungakhuselekanga?
- 1. Ukuphathwa gadalala nokungakhathalelwa
- 2. Ukonzakala nokulahleka
- 3. Ukungabikho komzali ophendulayo
- Imizekelo yokuziQhoboshela iziQhoboshelo
- Imizekelo yokuziQhoboshela ekuziphatheni kwabaNtwana
- Imizekelo yokuziQhelanisa nokuziphatha okuQhelekileyo kuLuntu oluDala
- Ukuncamathela kokungakhuselekanga kubuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane ebudaleni
- Iindlela ezi-3 zokoyisa isitayile sokuncamathela
- 1. Unxibelelwano
- 2. Unyango lomntu ngamnye
- 3. Unyango lweZibini
- Isiphelo
Uninzi lwabantu abanomdla kwinzululwazi yeengqondo zivile ngezibonelelo zoncamathiselo. Iphuhliswe ngugqirha wezengqondo uJohn Bowlby, ithiyori yokuncamathisela ithi abantwana abancinci bakhulisa iziqhotyoshelwano nomntu omnye omdala onika intuthuzelo xa besoyika, besesichengeni okanye bekhathazekile.
UMary Ainsworth kamva wachaza iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zokuqhotyoshelweyo, enye yazo isitayela sokunamathisela esingakhuselekanga. Ngaphantsi kwale sambrela, kukho iindlela ezintathu zokuncamathisela ezingakhuselekanga, zikhokelela kwiingxaki kubudlelwane babantu abadala.
Sithini isitayile sokuncamathela esingakhuselekanga?
Uhlobo lokuncamathisela olungakhuselekanga luchaza ipatheni yokunxibelelana kubudlelwane apho umntu abonisa uloyiko okanye ukungaqiniseki. Ngokuchasene nokuncamathiselwa okukhuselekileyo, apho umntu eziva ekhuselekile kwaye ethuthuzelwa liqabane lakhe ngexesha loxinzelelo.
Abantu abafumana ukhathalelo olungaguquguqukiyo kunye nokukhulisa njengabantwana bakhuselekile kwizincamathiselo zabo.
Kwelinye icala, abantu ababonisa iipateni zokuncamathela ezingakhuselekanga banamanqanaba aphezulu oxinzelelo kubudlelwane babo kwaye abaziva beqinisekile ukuba amaqabane abo aya kuzihlangabezana neemfuno zabo.
Oku kunokukhokelela kungxabano kubudlelwane kunye nobunzima bokwakha ubudlelwane obusondeleyo nabanye. Akumangalisi ukuba uphononongo lophando lubonise ukuba abantu abangaqinisekanga kubudlelwane banamanqanaba asezantsi okwoneliseka kubudlelwane babo.
Iindidi ze-attachment engakhuselekanga
Ukuncamathiselwa okungakhuselekanga ligama lesambrela elichaza abantu abasondela kubudlelwane noloyiko kunye noxinzelelo, kodwa kukho iindlela ezininzi zokungazithembi.
1. Ukuqhotyoshelweyo okungahambi kakuhle
Kubantu abakule ndlela yokuncamathisela, indlela yokuziphatha engakhuselekanga izibonakalisa ngohlobo lokuncamathela.
Umntu ongakhuselekanga-othembekileyo uya kufuna ukuqinisekiswa rhoqo kwiqabane lakhe, kwaye banokoyika ukushiywa. Olu hlobo lokuncamathisela ngamanye amaxesha lubizwa ngokuba kukuncamathela okunganyangekiyo.
2. Ukuqhotyoshelwa okungakhuselekanga
Isimbo sokuncamathisela sinxulunyaniswa nokuziphatha okugxothayo kubudlelwane.
Umntu onolu hlobo lokuncamathisela uya kuluthintela ulwalamano kunye nobunzima bokukhulisa ubudlelwane obusondeleyo neqabane okanye ukuba sesichengeni neqabane.
3. Ukuncamathela kulungelelwaniso olungakhuselekanga
Ukuziphatha okungakhuselekanga ngolu hlobo lwesimbo sokuncamathisela kunokuba yinto ephosakeleyo.
Umntu ononcamatheleko olungalungelelaniswanga unobunzima ekumelaneni noxinzelelo kwaye akasayi kuba nayo ipateni yokwenyani ehambelana nokuncamathisela.
Ezi ntlobo zintathu zingasentla zokungazithembi zinokukhokelela kubunzima kubudlelwane bezothando kunye nokunxibelelana ngokusondeleyo nabanye.
Yintoni ebangela ukunamathela okungakhuselekanga?
Ithiyori yokuncamathela engakhuselekanga ibonelela ngezikhokelo zezizathu zokungazithembi kubudlelwane, kwaye uninzi lwezi zizathu luye lwavavanywa ngabaphandi.
Umzekelo, kuye kwachazwa ukuba ukunamathela kuqala ebuntwaneni, kwaye ezi zinto zilandelayo zinokubangela ukunamathela okungakhuselekanga:
1. Ukuphathwa gadalala nokungakhathalelwa
Ngokuya kuphononongwa kwizifundo ezahlukeneyo, ukuphathwa gadalala okanye ukungahoywa njengomntwana kunxulunyaniswa nokukhulisa isincamathiselo esingakhuselekanga.
Ngapha koko, abantu abadala abaphethwe gadalala kukuxhatshazwa kwabantwana okanye ukungahoywa banamathuba angama-3.76 amathuba okuba balwe nokungazithembi kwezothando.
Zama kwakhona: Uvavanyo lweemvakalelo zokuKhathalela abantwana
2. Ukonzakala nokulahleka
Iingcali zikwachaze ukuba ilahleko engasonjululwanga kunye noxinzelelo kunokubangela ukungazithembi izitayile zokuncamathisela kubantu abadala ukongeza ekuphathweni gadalala kwabantwana kunye nokungahoywa.
Ukuphulukana nomzali, ukwahlulwa kubazali, okanye ukubonakaliswa zizigigaba ezibi ezifana nemfazwe, ubundlobongela bemigulukudu, okanye ubundlobongela basekhaya kungakhokelela kwisitayile sokuncamathela. Ukuphathwa gadalala ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwesondo nako ziindlela zoxinzelelo.
Kunokubakho iinkcazo ezahlukeneyo zokuba yintoni ebangela ukungakhuseleki kubudlelwane, kodwa ubukhulu becala iyehla ibe ngamava kubudlelwane obudlulileyo, ikakhulu ezo zinomzali okanye umntu okhathalela abantwana.
Ukuncamathiselwa okukhuselekileyo kukhula ukuba abanonopheli babeshushu, bekhuliswa, kwaye behlala befumaneka kwaye bephendula kwiimfuno zomntwana. Ukuncamathiselwa okungakhuselekanga kuyenzeka xa olu hlobo lokhathalelo lusilela, nokuba kungenxa yokuxhatshazwa, ubundlobongela, ukungahoywa, okanye ukungabikho ngokweemvakalelo.
3. Ukungabikho komzali ophendulayo
Abantwana abanabazali okanye abanonopheli abaphambili bebengaphenduli ngokungaguquguqukiyo okanye babaxhase banokubangela abantwana babo ukuba bakhulise ukunamathela okungakhuselekanga, ekugqibeleni kukhokelele kwimicimbi yokuncamathisela ebudaleni.
Umzekelo, ukuba umzali akakho ngokwasemzimbeni kubomi bomntwana okanye akakho ngokweemvakalelo, umntwana unokuhlakulela iipatheni zokuncamathela ezingakhuselekanga. Umzali onengxaki yokugula ngengqondo okanye umlutha usenokuphendula kancinci kwaye anyuse umngcipheko wokungaqiniseki ngokuncamathiselwa ebantwaneni.
Kwangokunjalo, ukuba ngamanye amaxesha umzali uyaphendula kwiimfuno zomntwana okanye umtyekele emntwaneni ngexesha lokubandezeleka, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kungabi njalo, umntwana unokungaqiniseki ukuba iimfuno zabo ziyafezekiswa na, oko kukhokelela kukungazithembi.
Zama kwakhona: Isitayile sokuncamathisela
Imizekelo yokuziQhoboshela iziQhoboshelo
Ukuncamathiselwa okungakhuselekanga kunokukhokelela kwiindlela ezithile zokuziphatha njengoko umntu ezama ukujamelana noxinzelelo kunye nokungaqiniseki ngokubhekisele kunxibelelwano olusondeleyo nabanye.
Ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zinokubonakala zahlukile ngokusekwe kubudala bomntu. Umzekelo, ukungazithembi kokuziphatha komntwana kunokubonisa ukwahluka kancinci kunokuncamathisela kubantu abadala.
Ezinye zeempawu zokuziphatha ezingakhuselekanga zokuncamathisela ebantwaneni zezi zilandelayo:
- Ukuthintela abazali / abagcini babakhathaleleyo
- Ukuhlala urhala ngokungathuthuzelekiyo
- Ukuncamathela kakhulu kubazali / kubanonopheli
- Ukufihla iimvakalelo
- Ukuphaphazela xa wohlulwe kumzali
- Ukwala ukujonga imeko-bume
- Kunzima ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho
- Ukuza uzimele geqe xa umntwana enqwenela ukuhoywa
Abantu abadala abanezincamathelisi ezingakhuselekanga bahlala bebonisa ezinye zeendlela zokuziphatha ezilandelayo kubudlelwane babo:
- Ukuzijongela phantsi
- Ukwala ukucela uncedo
- Ukutyhala abanye kude, endaweni yokubavumela basondele
- Ukoyika ukushiywa
- Ukunikezela ngokubambelela ngokukodwa kubudlelwane bezothando okanye ubuhlobo
- Ukufuna rhoqo isiqinisekiso sokuba yonke into ilungile kubudlelwane
- Ukuzimela geqe
- Ukuthandabuza ukuba nolwalamano nabanye abantu
- Umona kubudlelwane
Ukuziphatha okungakhuselekanga kubudlelwane babantu abadala kwenzeka ngenxa yokuba umntu esoyika ukuba iqabane lakhe liza kubashiya okanye basilele ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zabo.
Kumntu onesinamathiselo esingathandekiyo, oku kukhokelela kuxinzelelo kunye nokuncamathela ukuthintela ukulahlwa.
Ngokwahlukileyo koko, umntu onesimbo sokuthintela ukunamathela uya kuyeka ukusondela kwabanye, ke abaphoxeki okanye babuhlungu xa belahliwe, okanye iqabane labo lingazifezekisi iimfuno zabo.
Ukuncamathela kokungakhuselekanga kubuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane ebudaleni
Ngelishwa, kuyaziwa ukuba isitayile sokuncamathisela esingakhuselekanga esikhula ngexesha lobuntwana sinokuba neziphumo ezihlala zihleli, siqhubekeka kubudlelwane babantu abadala.
Xa umntu ene-attachment engakhuselekanga, umzekelo, banokuba noxinzelelo kubudlelwane kangangokuba bafuna ukuchitha lonke ixesha labo kunye neqabane labo, bangaze bavumele iqabane ukuba libenexesha lodwa.
Ukuziphatha okuncamathelayo kunokuba kukujika kwaye kutyhalele kude amaqabane anokubakho. Kwelinye icala, umntu onesimo sokuncamathela engakhuselekanga unokulwa nesizungu ngenxa yokoyika ukusondela kwabanye.
Banokudibana njengabandayo nabangakhathaliyo kubudlelwane babo, nto leyo enokubangela ungquzulwano.
Uphando lujonge kwiziphumo ezithile zokuncamathela kwezonxibelelwano kubudlelwane babantu abadala. Olunye uphononongo lufumanise ukuba abantu abanokuphepha okanye ukunganyangekiyo kwezitayile zokuncamathisela bathambekele ekusebenziseni iindlela zokuzikhusela xa benxibelelana nabanye.
Umzekelo, banokuthi bathambekele ekucinezeleni iimvakalelo zabo okanye baveze uloyiko kunye noxinzelelo lwabo kwabanye. Oku kuyaqondakala ukuba yingxaki kubudlelwane, kodwa ngumzamo wokuzikhusela ekonzakalisweni ngabantu abanesitayile sokuncamathela.
Okunye uphando icebisa ukuba ubudlelwane bokuncamathela ngaphakathi bunokukhokelela kwezi ndlela zokuziphatha zilandelayo:
- Xa umntu onesitayile sokuncamathisela ekubandezelekeni edakumbile, ngekhe bafune ukuthuthuzelwa liqabane labo, kwaye abayi kumthuthuzela neqabane elikhathazekileyo.
- Abantu abanendlela engakhuselekanga yokuthintela isincamathiselo bathambekele ekufuneni ukunxibelelana ngokwasemzimbeni kunye nokuziqhela kumaqabane abo xa bohlukana, njengaphambi kokuba iqabane liye kuhambo kwisikhululo seenqwelomoya.
- Umntu onesitayile sokuncamathela engakhuselekanga unokuba noxinzelelo olukhulu xa exoxa ngengxabano kunye neqabane lakhe, kwaye bathambekele ekujongeni ubudlelwane babo kakubi ngexesha loxinzelelo.
- Umntu onesitayile sokuncamathisela unokuthintela amaqabane akhe ngexesha loxinzelelo. Ngokwahlukileyo, umntu onesimbo sokuncamathisela esingaqondakaliyo okanye esinganyangekiyo uya kuhlala eziphatha ngendlela engalunganga, onakalise ubudlelwane.
Isishwankathelo, iindlela zokuncamathisela ezingakhuselekanga kubudlelwane zinokwenza ukuba kube nzima kubantu ukulawula ukungqubana, ukunxibelelana namaqabane abo, kunye nokuziva bekhuselekile kubudlelwane.
Ngapha koko, iipateni zokuncamathisela eziqala ebuntwaneni zihlala ziba mdala ukuba akukho nto yenziwe ukuzitshintsha.
Umzekelo, umntwana ofunda ukuba akanakho ukuthembela kubazali ukuba bamnike inkxaso yokhuseleko kunye nokhuselo uya kumelana nokuthembela kwiqabane elithandanayo, ke abajongi kumaqabane abo ukuze bafumane uncedo kunye nonxibelelwano, olulindelwe ngokubanzi kubudlelwane .
Ngaphandle kokubangela ukonakala kubudlelwane, ukungazithembi izitayile zokuncamathisela kubantu abadala kunokubangela ukuba uzixabise, uxinzelelo kunye neminye imiba yezempilo yengqondo.
Iindlela ezi-3 zokoyisa isitayile sokuncamathela
Uhlobo lokuncamathisela olungakhuselekanga ngesiqhelo lunengcambu ebuntwaneni, kodwa kukho iindlela zokoyisa imiba evela kulwalamano lokungazithembi:
1. Unxibelelwano
Ukuba usebudlelwaneni obuzinikeleyo, kuya kufuneka unxibelelane neqabane lakho malunga nakuphi na ukungaqiniseki onako kunye nalapho banokuthi bakhule khona.
Ukunyaniseka kwiqabane lakho malunga neemfuno zakho kunokunceda bobabini ukuba bafike kwiphepha elinye, ukuze baqonde ukuba isimilo sakho sivela phi.
2. Unyango lomntu ngamnye
Ekugqibeleni, unokufuna unyango ukuze uncede uphuhlise iindlela zokujamelana noxinzelelo kunye neengxaki zobudlelwane.
Kuyanceda ukufunda iindlela zokoyisa imiba yobuntwana enokuthi yenze isitayile sokuncamathisela esingakhuselekanga.
3. Unyango lweZibini
Wena kunye nomnye wakho obalulekileyo ninokuxhamla ngokuya kunyango kunye, ukuze bafunde ngakumbi ngemeko yakho kwaye bafunde indlela yokukuxhasa njengoko ujonga imiba yokuncamathisela.
Isiphelo
Isitayile sokuncamathisela esingakhuselekanga sinokubonakala ngokungathandabuzekiyo / ukumelana, ukunqanda okanye ukungalungelelani.
Ezi ndlela zineengcambu ebuntwaneni xa abantu bekhulisa iziqhoboshelo ezikhuselekileyo kunye nabo babakhathaleleyo okanye bafunda ukuba abanakuthembela kubagcini ukuba bababonelele.
Ukungqinelana, inkxaso eyaneleyo kunye nokhuseleko, okukhokelela kukuncamathela kokungaqinisekanga. Ezi patheni zokuncamathisela ukusuka ebuntwaneni zihlala zilandela abantu ukuya ebuntombini, kodwa kukho iindlela zokujongana nazo ukuze isitayile sokuncamathela esingakhuselekanga singonakalisi ubudlelwane bakho.