Umxholo
- Ngubani ogqibezela ukubuyela emva kokungathembeki?
- Amanqanaba okuphulukana nokungathembeki
- 1. Umcimbi
- 2. Ukufumanisa kwakhona ubudlelwane bakho
- 3. Ukutyhila imiba enzulu
- 4. Ukujongana nentlungu kunye nokuqonda ulawulo lwentlungu
- 5. Ukwenza umda wexesha
- 6. Uxolelo kunye nenkqubo yokuphilisa
- 7. Ingcebiso ukuba unabantwana
- 8. Uqhubeka njani
Amanqanaba okuphulukana nokungathembeki luhlobo lonyango oluyilelwe ukukunceda ukuba usebenze ngokwenzakala ngokweemvakalelo okulandelayo emva kokuya kulwalamano lwakho. Iimvakalelo zinokukongamela ukungazithembi, unxunguphalo, unxunguphalo, iintlungu kunye nokungathembeki kulandela ukungathembeki. Oku kunokuba nzima ukusebenza ngokwakho kwaye kunokubangela umonakalo weemvakalelo kwiminyaka ezayo.
Ukufuna ingcebiso kubuchwephesha kunokukunceda kakhulu ungatshatanga okanye njengesibini. Amanqanaba okubuyisela ukungathembeki ayilelwe ukusebenza ngemicimbi yakho, unxibelelane kwakhona nawe okanye iqabane lakho, wenze umda wexesha, kwaye wenze isicwangciso sendlela yokuqhubela phambili. Eli nqaku lijonge amanqanaba okuphulukana nokungathembeki kunye nendlela abanokukunceda ngayo.
Ngubani ogqibezela ukubuyela emva kokungathembeki?
Nokuba kwenzeka ntoni na, ukukopa lelinye lawona mava abuhlungu onokuhamba kuwo. Ke ngoko, le nkqubo inokwenziwa yodwa njengendlela yokusebenza ngeemvakalelo zakho okanye neqabane lakho njengendlela yokucebisa ngomtshato.
Ukuba nitshatile, le nkqubo inokukunceda ufunde ngokuqhubela phambili kunye okanye ngokwahlukeneyo. Ukuba ushiye iqabane lakho, ukubuyela kwimeko yokungathembeki kunokukunceda ujongane nokubuyela umva komcimbi kunye nemicimbi enokuthi ibangele ebomini bakho njengemvakalelo yokungathembani, ukungcatshwa kunye nokuthandabuza.
Nokuba zithini na iimeko zakho, uya kukufumanisa kuluncedo ukuba ube neengcali ecaleni kwakho njengoko usebenza kulo mcimbi.
Amanqanaba okuphulukana nokungathembeki
Njengezinye iindlela ezininzi zokucebisa ngomtshato, unyango lokungathembeki lwenziwa ngokwamanqanaba, eyilelwe ukukwazi wena neqabane lakho ngcono. Oku kuyakunceda ugqirha wakho ukuba aqonde imeko yakho kwaye akuvumele ukuba uzazi kunye neemfuno zeqabane lakho nakwinqanaba elahlukileyo. Nazi izigaba eziqhelekileyo zonyango lokunganyaniseki.
1. Umcimbi
Kuba esi sizathu sokuba ulapha, unyango lokungathembeki luya kugubungela amanqanaba obuhlobo bakho, kubandakanya nokuthandana. Oku kunokungena nzulu kwiinkcukacha ukwenzela ukuba omabini amaqela anyaniseke ngokupheleleyo kungekuphela malunga nokuthandana kodwa oko kunokuba kukhokelele ekuqhawukeni kothando nonxibelelwano phakathi kwesi sibini.
Eli inokuba linyathelo elibuhlungu kakhulu kumanqanaba okuphulukana nokungathembeki, kodwa kunyanzelekile.
2. Ukufumanisa kwakhona ubudlelwane bakho
Ukuba injongo yakho kukuhlala kunye, inqanaba elinye lokuchacha liya kuba kukuzifumanisa kwakhona kunye neqabane lakho. Emva komtshato, kunzima kakhulu ukuphinda uqalise ubudlelwane bakho bangaphambili njengoko wawunjalo ngaphambili. Kungenxa yoko le nto kubaluleke kangaka ukugxila ekwakheni entsha ngokudibeneyo. Ingcali yakho iya kukunceda ikunike isixhobo oza kusidinga ukubeka elidlulileyo ngasemva kwakho kwaye uphinde unike ingqalelo ekufumaneni okuhle kulwalamano lwakho.
3. Ukutyhila imiba enzulu
Imicimbi emininzi yenzeka ngaphandle kwesizathu konke konke ngelixa ezinye zinokuthi zehle zibe yimveliso yoxinzelelo, ukungabikho kothando okanye uthando kubudlelwane obukhoyo ngoku, ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi, okanye ukwenzakala okudlulileyo. Ukuba ugqirha wakho ufumanisa nayiphi na le micimbi njengesona sizathu sokungonwabi kubudlelwane baya kuqala ukujongana nale nxalenye yesicwangciso sonyango.
4. Ukujongana nentlungu kunye nokuqonda ulawulo lwentlungu
Kuba i-Therapist yingcali eqeqeshiweyo baya kukunceda ujongane nayo nayiphi na intlungu kunye nentlungu ozivayo. Banokukwazi nokubona iimpawu kunye neziphumo ebezingalindelekanga ezibangelwa kukuthandana okukufayo, njengaleyo inxulumene ne-PTSD okanye umothuko. Kananjalo baya kuba nakho ukukunceda kulawulo lweentlungu ezingokweemvakalelo kwaye bakuncede usebenze kwintlungu oziva unayo.
5. Ukwenza umda wexesha
Amanye amanqanaba okuphulukana nokungathembeki kubandakanya ukwakha umda wexesha. Ngeli nqanaba uyakunikwa umda wexesha, yithi inyanga, ukufumanisa ukuba uyafuna ukuhlala kunye okanye ukwahlukana. Sebenzisa eli nqanaba ukwakha uluhlu lwenyani / lokuba ukuhlala kunye kuya kuba yinzuzo kuwe okanye akunjalo. Kubalulekile ukuba uvuleke kwaye uthembeke kuwe kunye neqabane lakho ngeli xesha kwaye ungaze usingxamele isigqibo sakho. Ekupheleni kwenyanga uya kuthi uxelele ugqirha wakho ukuba uhlala kunye okanye niyaqhekeka.
6. Uxolelo kunye nenkqubo yokuphilisa
Imicimbi ngamava abuhlungu kubo bobabini ababandakanyekayo. Ngenxa yokungathembeki, ukuziva unetyala, ukungathembani kunye nomsindo kunokuhamba kulwalamano lwakho nokuba uzama okona kunzima ukuxolela iqabane lakho. Ezi mvakalelo zingqubanayo kunokuba nzima ukuzilawula. Umgqirha wakho unokukunceda kwinkqubo yokuphilisa. Oku kubandakanya ukudala isicwangciso samanyathelo ngendlela yokuqhagamshela kwakhona njengamaqabane athandanayo kunye nabahlobo, indlela yokwakha ukuthembana omnye nomnye, kunye nendlela yokuphinda uzinikezele kubudlelwane obubonakala buphukile.
7. Ingcebiso ukuba unabantwana
Ukuba unabantwana kunye ugqirha wakho uya kubandakanya loo mbandela wobudlelwane bakho kwiseshoni yakho yokucebisa ngexesha elinye okanye kwelinye. Baza kumamela iinkxalabo zakho ngokubhekisele kubantwana bakho, umcimbi, kunye nokhetho lwakho lokuba ungahlali kunye okanye baya kuba nakho ukukuyalela ngeyona ndlela ingcono yokuba ngumzali kunye ngelixa uhamba ngeli xesha linzima.
8. Uqhubeka njani
Ekupheleni kwexesha olikhethileyo, kuya kufuneka wazise umcebisi wakho malunga nokuba uthathe isigqibo sokuhlala kunye okanye hayi. Ukusuka kweli nqanaba ungaqhubeka nonyango lwezibini ukuba usathandana malunga nobume bakho bobudlelwane, okanye ushukume kwiiseshoni zonyango ezizodwa ukunceda ukuzazi ngcono.
Nokuba ukhetha ntoni, ugqirha wakho uya kuba nakho ukukunceda uthathe ikhosi malunga nendlela yokuqhubeka nobomi bakho kunye okanye ngokwahlukeneyo ukuze uqhubeke nokuphila ubomi bakho kunye nokwenza inkqubela phambili kwiinjongo zakho.
Eyona njongo iphambili yonyango lokungathembeki kukufunda ukuxolela. Le ndlela yokuphilisa ayikhawulezi kwaye iza ngokwamanqanaba amaninzi, kodwa izibonelelo zibudlula kude ubunzima. Abantu abatshatileyo okanye abangatshatanga abajongana nengxwabangxwaba yomoya ngenxa yokuthandana kwabo baya kuxhamla kakhulu kule ndlela yokufumana iingcebiso.