Umxholo
Ngaba uziva udiniwe kwaye ukhathazekile yimicimbi efanayo yobudlelwane enokuthi ivele kuwo wonke umtshato wakho? Ngaba uziva unqanyuliwe kwiqabane lakho okanye kwiqabane lakho lobuhlobo kunye nawe, kukushiya uzive ulahlekile kwaye uwedwa? Mhlawumbi uyakhula kwaye awufumani ukuzaliseka kwakho ngaphambili kubudlelwane bakho. Ezi meko zinokubangela ukuba uphulukane nenkuthazo yokuphila.
Mhlawumbi uziva ukuba ukwi-umtshato ongalunganga kwaye awazi ukuba ungayenza njani ingcinga yeengcinga eziphikisanayo entlokweni yakho. Mhlawumbi izizathu zokuba utshatile azisebenzi kwakhona kwaye yonke into malunga nendlela ophuphe ngayo ibikushiye ukwimeko yokudideka kunye nokudana.
Ingcali yonyango inokukunceda ukuba uqonde indlela oziva ngayo, zithini iimfuno zakho kunye nendlela onokuhamba ngayo kubunzima bobomi. Ngaphandle kwezixhobo zovakalelo, unokuziva ungalawuleki, ungenathemba kwaye ungaphumeleli kwelona candelo libalulekileyo ebomini bakho, umtshato wakho okanye ubudlelwane obubalulekileyo.
Unxibelelwano lunokuba nzima ngamanye amaxesha
Unokuziva unyanzelekile ngemiyalezo eyomeleleyo yoluntu ukuba kufuneka uhambisane nomnyango olandelayo kaJones okanye uhlale ubonakala ubuso obonwabileyo phambi kwabanye. Kunokuba nzima ukuthetha ngeyona ntlungu yakho inzulu okanye ukudideka kulowo umthandayo. Enyanisweni, akukho nto enjengobudlelwane obugqibeleleyo, kwaye imeko yakho yomtshato ayifanelanga ukuba ichonge ukuba uziva njani na. Ndingakunceda uhlakulele ukuzixabisa ngakumbi kwaye ufunde indlela yokuhamba ngomtshato okanye ubudlelwane obuzukisayo kunye neqabane lakho okanye iqabane.
Unokuziva ngathi ubambekile uphinda iipateni ezifanayo zobudlelwane amaxesha ngamaxesha. Ukuba kunjalo, inokuba sisalathiso sendlela yokuphilisa iintlungu kunye noxinzelelo onokuba uhlangabezana nalo.
Amaxesha amaninzi iingxaki zethu ebomini zisuka kwiinkumbulo zethu zokuqala. Ngokujonga indlela abazali bethu abaziphethe ngayo okanye abantu abasikhathalelayo, sifunda indlela yokuziphatha kubudlelwane. Abanye banethamsanqa lokumodareyitha emva kwemeko esempilweni, ezolileyo kwaye abanye bafunda ukuba isiphithiphithi kunye nomzabalazo yinxalenye yendalo yokuba kubudlelwane. Into eyaziwayo ngokubanzi yinto ephindaphindwayo.
Kukangaphi uvile ngomntwana oxhatshaziweyo okhula esiba lixhoba leqabane elihlukumezayo okanye abe ungumxhaphazi kubudlelwane? Kunokubakho ukuziva ubanjiwe kwaye abantu ebomini bakho bayaqhubeka ukukungcatsha. Mhlawumbi abo bakukhathaleleyo khange bathethe ngeemvakalelo, zikushiye uziva ungaziwa okanye ungaviwa liqabane lakho okanye isithandwa sakho. Ungakholelwa kwibali elenziwe xa wawusemncinci kwaye ngokuhamba kwexesha, la mabali aye azizalisekisa.
Kukho ithemba noncedo kuwe
Kukho ithemba kuye nabani na onqwenela ukoyisa imiba enzima yomtshato okanye ubudlelwane. Kuyenzeka ukuba wenze ubudlelwane obutsha kunye nawe kunye neqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho. Ukusuka kwiminyaka yam yoqeqesho kunye namava, ndibone indlela abathengi abasuka ngayo kwixhoba ukuya koyisi, ukusuka ekubambeleleni kubudlelwane ukuya ekufumaneni izixhobo kunye nokuqonda okufuneka kwenziwe kumtshato wabo nakubomi babo. Indlela yam inceda abathengi baphilise ngaphakathi nangaphandle. Xa uphilisa okudlulileyo, unokutshintsha umbono wakho kwaye ufumane isisombululo. Ndiququzelela utshintsho kwindawo engagwebanga, enovelwano. Ndiyayihlonipha inkqubo yakho kwaye ndikufundise ukuba uzihloniphe njani, uzimele kwaye wenze imida esempilweni ekhokelela kwikamva elinamandla, elinothando.
Ndingakunceda:
- Phuhlisa iindlela zokuhlala unyanisekile kuwe nakwimilinganiselo yakho emtshatweni wakho nakulo lonke ulwalamano ebomini bakho.
- Suka ekusebenzeni kwakhona uye kumpendulo ekrelekrele, ekwaziyo ukuze ukwazi ukunxibelelana ngokufanelekileyo neqabane lakho nakulo lonke ubudlelwane bakho obubalulekileyo.
- Khulula kwaye uguqule uloyiko, ityala kunye neentloni ezinokukugcina uphile ubomi obuphuphayo.
Ndisebenzisa iindlela ezininzi ezixhasa ingqondo / imizimba enokukunceda ukusombulula imiba yakho kwinqanaba leselula. I-Neuroscience ibonakalisile ukuba kukho inkqubo emiselweyo yokunxibelelana phakathi komzimba nengqondo. Ngokuthumela imiyalezo elungileyo kwingqondo, unokwenza iindlela ezintsha ze-neuropathways ezitshintsha indlela ocinga ngayo ngawe kunye nolwalamano lwakho. Ingqondo eyaziwayo iluncedo kwizinto ezinje ngokwenza izigqibo kwaye umzimba weemvakalelo uluncedo kwizinto ezinje ngokufumana iimpendulo kwiingxaki zakho. Umsebenzi endiwenzayo kukunceda uhambe kumandla axhonyiweyo agcinwe emzimbeni, ke ukuqonda okutsha kunye nokukhetha okuhle kunokufikeleleka.
Inkqubo yokuphefumla
Enye indlela endiyenzileyo enokuba luncedo yinkqubo ebizwa ngokuba kukuphefumla. Umxube wam wobunini ubizwa ngokuba yiSoul Centered Breathwork kwaye kukuphinda kufunyanwe iindlela zempuma zakudala ezivula iingcango kwiindawo ezingaqhelekanga zokuqonda. Ingcambu yegama lokuphefumla 'ngumoya'. Ukuphefumla kunika amandla kwi-psyche, kusebenze igqirha lethu langaphakathi kunye nobulumko. Kwiseshoni yokuphefumla, ndidibanisa uGestalt Therapy kunye nomsebenzi wokuphefumla kwaye ndikukhokele kuhambo lokutyhila imeko yakho yendalo, ubuchule kunye nobuchule obunokuzisa isisombululo kwimiceli mngeni kubudlelwane nakubomi.
Ukwazi ixabiso lakho lokwenyani lolona lwalamano lubaluleke kakhulu kuzo zonke kwaye uhlala kwi-self yakho eyiyo, ubomi obutsha bunokuvela kwaye lonke uloyiko lwento engaziwayo lunokwandisa amathuba okuvela kokuthembana kunye nolwalamano lwenene (kwi-me-see).