Umxholo
- Isifo esinganyangekiyo sibuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane
- Ungamelana njani nale meko?
- Nxibelelana
- Nciphisa iimvakalelo zoxinzelelo
- Chaza iimfuno zakho
Ngokutsho kweengcali, iipesenti ezingama-75 zemitshato apho esinye sezibini safumana ukugula okungapheliyo siphelela kuqhawulo mtshato. Izandi zinzima, akunjalo? Ukuba nesifo esinganyangekiyo esifana nesifo samathambo, isifo seswekile, okanye umhlaza kunokuthatha nolwalamano oluhle kakhulu, kungangokuba njengeqabane, umhlobo okanye usapho.
Kwenzeka ntoni apha xa umntu egula kakhulu kukuba umntu ogulayo angaziva ngendlela ebekade evakalelwa ngayo ngaphambi kokugula, kwaye umntu okufutshane nomntu ogulayo njengentsapho okanye iqabane lakhe usenokungazi ukuba kufuneka alusingathe njani olo tshintsho. Oku ekugqibeleni kukhokelela kuxinzelelo kubudlelwane nakubantu bobabini.
Ke, uzenza njani ezi zinto?
Ngomonde nokuzibophelela, zikhona iindlela wena kunye nabo bakungqongileyo abanokuthi bajongane noxinzelelo kwiindawo zokugula okungapheliyo kulwalamano lwakho. Yiyo loo nto, kusithiwa, funda ngakumbi eli nqaku ukwazi ukuba ungalusingatha njani olu hlobo lwesiganeko esibuhlungu ebomini bomntu.
Isifo esinganyangekiyo sibuchaphazela njani ubudlelwane
Phambi kokuba sithethe malunga nokuba umntu angamelana njani nomntu onesifo esinganyangekiyo, masiqale sijongane nokuba sibuchaphazela njani okanye sibuphembelela njani ubudlelwane kunye nokuba buphazamisa njani ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantu.
Ngenxa yokugula, iindlela zemihla ngemihla zinokutshintsha ngenxa yokunqongophala kwesigulana kwaye iimfuno zonyango zinokufuna ixesha elininzi elinokuthi ekugqibeleni zikhokelele ekukhathaleni komgcini kunokubangela ukudakumba kunye noxinzelelo kubudlelwane.
Ukongeza, uxinzelelo lunokuqokelelwa kuyo yonke le nkqubo kwaye kunokubangela ukuziva uziva unomsindo, lusizi, ukuziva unetyala, uloyiko kunye noxinzelelo. Esi sesona sizathu siphambili sokuba kutheni ezinye iibhondi zikhokelela kunqunyulo, kwaye ukuba kungomtshato, uqhawulo mtshato.
Ungamelana njani nale meko?
Okokuqala, kuba uxinzelelo ngoyena nobangela wolu xinzelelo, umntu makacinge ngendlela yokuphelisa uxinzelelo okanye ukumelana noxinzelelo lomntu.
Iyeza loxinzelelo linokuba lilungile kumntu ojongana nale meko yoxinzelelo ukuze ancede inkqubo yoxinzelelo kunye nokuthintela.
Oogqirha banokuyalela uluhlu lwamayeza anje ngeyeza lokuthomalalisa ukudakumba, ukuthomalalisa, kunye ne-beta-blockers esele isetyenziselwe ukunceda abantu ukuba bajongane noxinzelelo.
Amakhuphoni eziyobisi zoxinzelelo kufuneka abe nakho ukunceda ngemali ukuze angabi luxanduva kuhlahlo-lwabiwo mali losapho ngaphezulu. Ukongeza, ukuba ufuna iindlela zendalo zokujamelana noxinzelelo kunye nemithwalo, ungabi naxhala, kuba kuya kwenziwa njalo apha ukukunceda.
Nxibelelana
Unxibelelwano ngoyena ndoqo kulwalamano ngalunye nokuba umntu uyagula okanye cha.
Ke, ukuba ufuna ukumelana noxinzelelo ngenxa yeqabane lakho okanye ukugula kwelungu losapho, kuya kufuneka uvakalise iimvakalelo zakho ukuze unxibelelwano luhlale kuba ukunqongophala kwengxoxo kukhokelela kwimvakalelo yomgama nokusondelelana.
Inyathelo lokuqala kunxibelelwano olusebenzayo kukufumana iindlela zokuthetha ngokuphandle ngemiceli mngeni enijamelene nayo, oku kukhokelela kwiimvakalelo zokusondelelana kunye nokusebenzisana okuhle. Into ekufuneka uyikhumbule ekunxibelelaneni kukufumana inqanaba elifanelekileyo lonxibelelwano, kuya kufuneka ufumane umhlaba ophakathi.
Nciphisa iimvakalelo zoxinzelelo
Nabani na okwimeko enjalo uya kuziva elusizi kwaye azive enexhala ngenxa yesifo esinganyangekiyo. Kungenxa yoko le ndlela ilungileyo yokujongana noku kukuthatha ulawulo lweemvakalelo zakho ngokuchonga oyena nobangela wokukhathazeka kwaye ufumane iindlela zokujongana nazo.
Kukho iindlela zokunciphisa uxinzelelo kwiimvakalelo, ezinje ngokucebisa. Unokuhamba kunye nesigulana okanye ngokwahlukeneyo uyokufumana iingcebiso kunye nonyango, umphathiswa okanye abanye abaqeqeshiweyo ukukunceda ukumelana nokulawula iimvakalelo zakho.
Enye into elula ukuyenza kukukhathalela impilo yakho kunye nengqondo ngokucamngca okanye ngokwenza izinto ezinokukunceda uphumle.
Chaza iimfuno zakho
Ngokugula isigulana sihlupheka kunye noxinzelelo lweemvakalelo onokuthi ujongane nalo, ngubani onokufuna ukuqikelela ngeli xesha, akunjalo? Kungenxa yeso sizathu le nto bobabini kufuneka bexelile ukuba iimfuno zomntu kufuneka zicace kwaye zingqale ngqo malunga nezinto azifunayo ukusukela, ewe, iqabane lakho alifundanga ngengqondo.
Ukulinganisa ukutshintsha kobudlelwane, kuya kufuneka uthethe omnye nomnye malunga nendlela yokuthengisa imisebenzi kunye noxanduva ukuze ungatshisi iqabane lakho okanye ilungu losapho.
Ukwazi ukuba nobabini kule nto kunye kuya kunceda ukunciphisa umthwalo omnye umntu awuva kwaye le yindlela elungileyo yokuncedana.
Isigulo esinganyangekiyo sele sithatha isigulana kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba umongi okanye iqabane alichaphazeleki. Isenokungabi ngokwasemzimbeni, kodwa umthwalo weemvakalelo umntu awuphetheyo nawo ubalulekile, yiyo loo nto kuthatha ezimbini ukuya kwi-tango, okuthetha ukuba kuthatha zombini ukwenza ubudlelwane busebenze.