Umxholo
- Yintoni ukuxhatshazwa?
- Ndazi njani ukuba luxhaphaza kwaye ayisiyiyo nje imizabalazo yesiqhelo?
- Ezinye izinto ekufuneka ziqwalaselwe
- Ungenzani?
Ukuthetha ngokuxhatshazwa, ngakumbi ukuphathwa gadalala ngaphakathi kweqhina elingcwele lomtshato, kunzima. Imeko nganye, umntu, kunye nobudlelwane bohlukile ngeendlela ezininzi. Kuhlala kunzima ukuthelekisa isimilo kunye nezenzo zabantu kubudlelwane obunye nakwezinye. Nangona kunjalo, kukho izinto ezithile eziqhelekileyo ezinokunceda ekuchongeni ukuxhatshazwa kubudlelwane bezothando.
Ukongezwa komtshato kunokwenza ukusondela kumxholo wokufikelela kude kube nzima ngakumbi. Umtshato sisivumelwano esisemthethweni kwaye siyabophelela kwaye uhlala usenza kubonakale kunzima ngakumbi ukwamkela uxhatshazo kunye neziphumo zalo. Eyona nto inzima ngakumbi ngumbono wokushiya ubudlelwane ngokupheleleyo. Eli nqaku liza kukunceda uphendule imibuzo enje ngokuba "ngaba umyeni wam uyahlukumeza?" Kwaye "ukuba ndinomyeni onobundlobongela ndenze ntoni?".
Yintoni ukuxhatshazwa?
Inkcazo elula yoxhatshazo yiyo nayiphi na indlela yokuziphatha okanye isenzo esikhohlakeleyo, esinobundlobongela okanye esenziwe ngenjongo yokwenzakalisa umntu. Nangona kunjalo, ngaphandle kokulula kwenkcazo, ukuqonda kunye nokuchonga uxhatshazo kunzima kakhulu. Rhoqo, imiqondiso ifihliwe emehlweni abonileyo kangangokuba abo banamava okuphathwa gadalala ixesha elide baqala ukuzichaza njengenxalenye yobomi obuqhelekileyo. Amashumi amahlanu eepesenti kwizibini ezitshatileyo kubudlelwane ziya kuba namava obundlobongela okanye obundlongondlongo ngexesha lolwalamano.
Malunga nekota ye ezo izibini ziyakufumana ubundlobongela njengenxalenye yesiqhelo yobudlelwane babo. Umngcipheko wokuziphatha gwenxa kunye nobundlobongela basekhaya uxhomekeke kwizinto ezahlukeneyo kodwa inye into eqinisekileyo: ukuphathwa gadalala kubudlelwane nasemitshatweni akubalulekanga kwaphela kuhlanga olunye, isini, okanye iqela leminyaka. Nabani na kubudlelwane lixhoba elinokubakho.
Impatho gadalala yahlulwe yangamacandelo amane ahlukeneyo: ezemvakalelo, ezengqondo, ezomlomo, kunye nezomzimba. Kukho ezinye iintlobo ezimbalwa, kubandakanya ukuphathwa gadalala ngokwesondo kunye nokungakhathalelwa, kodwa ezi zihlala zithathwa njengee-subtypes.
Izinto ezichongiweyo, nangona kunjalo, zenza ukuba kube nzima ukwahlula ngokucacileyo kuhlobo ngalunye lokuxhatshazwa.
Kuba uhlobo ngalunye lwabelana ngeempawu ezifanayo, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ubukho bohlobo olunye bunokubonisa ubukho beendidi ezongezelelweyo. Umzekelo, umntu ophethwe gadalala ngendlela yokunyanzelwa ngokwesondo okanye ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo kusenokwenzeka ukuba uyathukwa kwaye athethwe kakubi naye.
Ndazi njani ukuba luxhaphaza kwaye ayisiyiyo nje imizabalazo yesiqhelo?
Abasetyhini abahlukunyezwa ngamaqabane abo okanye amaqabane abo bafumana indlela efanayo yokuziphatha, abo banokuthi ngokufuthi baphazanyiswe njengenxalenye "yesiqhelo" yokukhula kubudlelwane. Bahlala bexoka okanye benamaqhinga kusapho nakubahlobo ukuze bakhusele umxhaphazi. Unxibelelwano phakathi komfazi kunye nomyeni wakhe ophethe gadalala esidlangalaleni okanye nosapho / nabahlobo zihlala zibi; wayenokuhlala ephantsi, egxekwa, esongelwa, okanye ehlazekile ngenjongo yokumonzakalisa ngokweemvakalelo. Ezi zezinye zeempawu zomyeni ophethe gadalala.
Umyeni ophethe gadalala uhlala ezikhusele kakhulu de angene. Kuya kufuneka ayazi ukuba iphi inkosikazi yakhe ngalo lonke ixesha kwaye anganyanzelisa imithetho engqongqo kunye nokusikelwa umda malunga nexesha elichithwe engekho ekhaya kwaye eli xesha lichithwa nabani. 'Kutheni uchitha ixesha elininzi nomntu uX', 'umhlobo wakho ukukhuthaza ukuba umoshe ubudlelwane bethu, awuzukuthetha naye' -ezinye zezinto ezithethwa ngumyeni ohluphayo.
Ukongeza, abasetyhini abaxhatshazwayo banokuzithemba okuphantsi okuya kusiba kubi; abaninzi baya kuqala ukukholelwa izinto ezoyikisayo ezithethwa ngabaxhaphazi babo ngabo.
Ngelixa ezinye iindlela zokuziphatha ezingalunganga ziya kubakho ngexesha elinye okanye elinye kubudlelwane obuninzi okanye kwimitshato, kubalulekile ukuba ukwazi ukwahlula phakathi kokungasebenzi kakuhle kunye nokuxhatshazwa. Ukungasebenzi kakuhle kwenzeka xa ukukwazi ukunxibelelana phakathi kwamaqabane kunqunyelwe okanye konakele. Njengoko bekutshiwo ngaphambili, ubuncinci isiqingatha sabo bonke abantu abatshatileyo baya kuba namava obundlobongela ebomini bolwalamano lwabo.
Oku kuyenza hayi kuthetha ukuba isimilo siqhelekile okanye senzeka rhoqo. Ngokwesiqhelo ezi ntlobo zezehlo ziye zamkelwe kwangoko kwaye ixesha loxolelwaniso noxolelo lwenzeka.
Ukufunda okuhambelana: Iimpawu zoMfazi oGwenxa kunye nendlela yokujongana nayo
Ezinye izinto ekufuneka ziqwalaselwe
Ukuba owasetyhini uphathwa gadalala, eyona mpendulo ixhaphakileyo kubantu ababukeleyo yile, "Makahlukane naye!" Oku, nangona kunjalo, akubonisi izizathu ezininzi zokuba umfazi angakhetha ukuhlala nendoda enobundlobongela. Okokuqala nokuphambili, umfazi uhlala ethanda umxhaphazi wakhe, ngaphandle kwendlela yokuziphatha enogonyamelo, kwaye ekholelwa ngokwenyani ukuba uyakwazi ukutshintsha.
Ezinye izizathu zisenokuba kukoyika kwakhe into enokwenzeka ukuba angakhetha ukushiya, ukungabikho kwenkululeko yezemali, iintloni, ukoyika ukungabi namakhaya, okanye ukuba nabantwana nomxhaphazi wakhe.
Kunzima ngokukodwa kwabasetyhini abaxhatshazwa ngamadoda; Indoda abatshatele kuyo ifanele ukuba ibe ngumkhuseli othembekileyo, oxhasayo, hayi lowo wenzakalisa.
Ungenzani?
Ke ungenza ntoni xa wena okanye umntu omthandayo efumana umtshato onje? Esinye sezona zakhono zibalaseleyo onokuzisebenzisa kukukwazi ukumamela kwaye uvumele umfazi abelane nentliziyo yakhe. Usenokuba ngaphakathi ucela umntu ukuba abuze ukuba unjani. Unokuba ukulungele ukuchitha ibali lakhe kumntu amthembileyo. Kwaye isenokungakulungeli ukuthetha kodwa ikhangele umntu okulungeleyo ukumamela.
Yaziswa ngoluphi ukhetho anokulufumana kwindawo ahlala kuyo; ncedisa ekwenzeni ukumba ukufumana izibonelelo zasekhaya ukuba uhlala kwesinye isixeko okanye ilizwe. Kulungele ukuhamba umgama ongaphezulu- ukuba uyabuza -Kodwa shiya isigqibo kuye. Ukuba ufuna ukuphuma emtshatweni wakhe ungamnceda ekuqhawuleni umyeni oxhaphazayo. Ukushiya iqabane elihlukumezayo kunokuba ngumceli mngeni omkhulu.
Ungamnceda ukuba anxibelelane nomcebisi onokuthi aphendule imibuzo efana ‘nendlela yokushiya indoda ekuhlukumezayo’ okanye ‘indlela yokujongana nendoda ephethe gadalala’ njalo njalo.
Indawo yokuhlala, imigca yeengxaki, igqwetha lezomthetho, iinkqubo zokufikelela kuluntu, kunye neearhente zoluntu zineminyango evulekileyo kwabo bafuna uncedo; Qiniseka ukuba umvumele akhethe endaweni yokwenza ukhetho kuye. Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu, yiba nenkxaso. Umfazi oxhatshazwe yindoda yakhe akanatyala ngezenzo zakhe; ulixhoba lokhetho lomnye umntu.