UKira Asatryan ungumqeqeshi wobudlelwane oqinisekisiweyo kunye nombhali we Yeka ukuba Nesizungu: Amanyathelo amathathu alula okuKhulisa ubuhlobo obusondeleyo kunye nobuhlobo obunzulu. Uthetha nathi eMarriage.com malunga nencwadi yakhe, ujonga ukusondela kwaye wenza iingcebiso malunga nendlela yokuhlala wonwabile.
Marriage.com: Sitshele kancinci malunga nawe kunye nencwadi yakho Yeka ukuba Nesizungu: Amanyathelo amathathu alula okuphuhlisa ubuhlobo obusondeleyo
UKira Asatryan: Ndingumqeqeshi wobudlelwane oqinisekisiweyo osebenza ikakhulu kwizibini ezitshatileyo. Injongo yam xa ndibhala Yeka Ukuba Nesithukuthezi yayikukuphendula ngokulula eminye imibuzo ebisoloko indikhathaza ebomini bam. Oko kukuthi, bendihlala ndizibuza: Kutheni le nto ubudlelwane bam baziva besondele kunabanye? Kutheni le nto ndimke kunxibelelwano oluthile ndiziva ndililolo, kwaye kwabanye ndiziva Kaninzi ubulolo?
Njengoko ndafumanisa ngophando oluninzi kunye nokuzibonakalisa, impendulo yayikukuba ubudlelwane bam buninzi ukusondela kuzo-kwaye esi sithako sibalulekileyo senza ubudlelwane baziva kamnandi. "Ukusondela," njengoko ndiyichaza, ngamava emvakalelo iqondwa (ngokwenza "ukwazi") kunye xabiso (ngesenzo "sokukhathalela").
Umtshato.comZithini izimvo zakho malunga nesizungu emtshatweni? Zifanele zenze ntoni izibini ukoyisa lo mbandela?
UKira Asatryan: Xa iqabane lilolo emtshatweni, kungenxa yokungabikho kobuhlobo. Kuthetha ukuba aba bantu babini emtshatweni abaqondani kakuhle (abaqondi 'amaxabiso, iimfuno, amaphupha, uloyiko, njl. Njl.) Okanye ababonisi kukhathala ngokwaneleyo (njengoko kungqinwa ngu: umdla komnye umntu, ukuzibandakanya naye, utyalomali kwintlalontle yabo, kunye nokubonisa uthando nenkxaso). Inyathelo lokuqala, ndingathi, ukoyisa isizungu emtshatweni kukufumanisa ukuba ukungabikho kosondelelwano kubaluleke kakhulu kwicala 'lokwazi' okanye kwicala "lokukhathalela".
Marriage.com: Ungacebisa uthini abantu ukuba bakhe ubudlelwane obuzalisekayo kunye nobunzulu kuzo zonke iindawo zobomi babo?
UKira Asatryan: Inyathelo lokuqala lokwakha unxibelelwano olwanelisayo nolunzulu kuzo zonke iinkalo zobomi bomntu kukufumanisa ukuba ngubani ebomini bakho onokwenza "iqabane elisondeleyo" elilungileyo. Rhoqo eli liqabane likabani, kodwa inokuba lilungu losapho, umhlobo, okanye umntu angakha ubudlelwane obusondeleyo. “Iqabane elisondeleyo” elilungileyo ingangumntu obonakala enomdla wokusondela kuwe ngokunjalo, okwaziyo ukwabelana ngolwazi lomntu siqu ngaye, okwazi ukumamela nokugcina ulwazi malunga nawe, kwaye uyazi kakuhle imvakalelo zokunikezela nokufumana ukhathalelo. .
Marriage.com: Yintoni ekufuneka yenziwe ukuba omnye ufuna ukuhlakulela ukusondela kodwa omnye ashiye? Umntu ujongana njani nentlungu nokwenzakala?
UKira Asatryan: Lo ngumbuzo omkhulu!
Xa uqala ukuva ukuba umntu othile urhoxa kude kuwe, ngokwendalo uhlala uziva udidekile kwaye uyazibuza ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kanye kanye. Into yokuqala ekufuneka yenziwe ayikokungena kwimowudi yokuphakuzela. Ingayenza mandundu imeko ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi. Okokuqala, kunokubangela ukuba uziphathe ngendlela ebonakala ngathi ayinangqondo kwaye ikubeke kwindawo enokuthi yenzakalise ngakumbi ubudlelwane kunobuhle. Okwesibini, ngokuziphatha ngendlela owenza ngayo, iqabane lakho lifumana ithuba lokulahla iinkxalabo zakho kwaye likubize ngegama elithi '' çrazy ''. Gxila kwinyani kwaye uqonde indlela otolike ngayo into abayenzileyo.
Nika loo mntu ixesha kwaye uzilungiselele ukulungiswa kwazo. Ekugqibeleni, ukuba bayaqhubeka nokukuphepha, kunokwenzeka ukuba ubudlelwane buye esiphelweni. Ngeli xesha libuhlungu, zithuthuzele ngokwazi ukuba uyisingathe kakuhle imeko ubuncinci.
Marriage.com: Leliphi elo qhezu leengcebiso onokuthi ulinike wonke umntu ukuba ahlale onwabile?
UKira Asatryan: Ukuba ulwa nesizungu okanye uziva uphantsi ngenxa yokungabikho kolwalamano ebomini bakho, into yokuqala endinokucebisa ngayo kukuba uyeke ukuzibek 'ityala. Zininzi izizathu zokusingqongileyo zokuba kutheni ubudlelwane bunzima kule mihla kunangaphambili (itekhnoloji, amalungiselelo okuhlala, njl. .) izokugcina kwindawo engonwabisiyo. Endaweni yoko, kholelwa ekubeni ungumntu oxabisekileyo ofanelwe luthando nokusondela, kwaye ukuba nesizungu yingxaki ngaphandle kwe unokupheliswa ngokupheleleyo. Yeka Ukuba Nesithukuthezi iya kukubonisa indlela yokwenza oku.