Kutheni & Indlela yokuziQhagamshela ngokweMvakalelo kumntu oMthandayo

Umbhali: Laura McKinney
Umhla Wokudalwa: 9 Utshazimpuzi 2021
Hlaziya Umhla: 1 Eyekhala 2024
Anonim
Kutheni & Indlela yokuziQhagamshela ngokweMvakalelo kumntu oMthandayo - I-Psychology
Kutheni & Indlela yokuziQhagamshela ngokweMvakalelo kumntu oMthandayo - I-Psychology

Umxholo

Xa ubuhleli neqabane othandana ngalo okwethutyana, kuyindalo ukuba uza kuqala ukukhulisa iimvakalelo ezinzulu ngabo.

Okwangoku, ubeka phambili ukonwaba nolwaneliseko lwabo, ufuna ukuba kunye nabo, kwaye usenokuzifumanisa unqwenela ikamva nabo.

Ngelixa ezi mvakalelo zivuyisa, elinye lawona maphupha amabi abantu abaninzi abanokujamelana nawo ukuya kwinqanaba apho livakalelwa kukuba bakulwalamano lwendlela enye.

Apha, ubudlelwane baziva buxinekile kwaye bunetyhefu. Nangona inokukukhathaza ngokunzulu, kuya kufuneka ufunde indlela yokuzihlangula kumntu omthandayo ngempilo yakho kunye nengqondo yakho.

Isizathu soku silula. Ukuba awufumani indlela yokuzibandakanya ngokwasemphefumlweni kuloo mntu umthandayo, uya kuzifumanisa ulilela into enokuba ibiyiyo; imeko yengqondo nengokwasemzimbeni engaphilanga nakubani na, ngakumbi hayi wena.


Okwangoku, kuya kufuneka uchaze ukuba esi sithuba sijolise ekungakufundiseni ukuba ungazoyikisa okanye ubande egxalabeni kwiqabane lakho.

Nangona kunjalo, esi sithuba senzelwe ukukubonelela ngezicwangciso kunye neengcebiso ezigcinwe kufutshane ekugadeni intliziyo kunye neemvakalelo zakho njengoko kucaca ukuba kuya kufuneka ubeke umgama weemvakalelo / womzimba phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho (okanye iqabane langaphambili).

Zama konke okusemandleni akho ukusebenzisa ulwazi oluqulethwe kule post xa ukholelwa ukuba ixesha lilungile.

Kuthetha ntoni ukuzikhupha emntwini ngokweemvakalelo?

Igama elithi "ukuzimela ngokweemvakalelo" lisetyenziswe ikakhulu kukukhanya kwalo okungalunganga. Kule meko, ukuxhotyiswa ngokweemvakalelo kuthetha ukuba ubambene-ubambene kwaye ukude nomntu.

Isetyenzisiwe kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo zobudlelwane ezinje ngobudlelwane babazali nabantwana, ngokuchaseneyo, ubudlelwane phakathi kwabahlobo, kunye nobudlelwane phakathi koogxa.

Nangona kunjalo, kubalulekile ukuba sizibuze ukuba ngaba likho elinye icala kulo mlinganiso. Oku kunganceda ukuseta isantya sencoko esiza kuba nayo kweli nqaku.


Ngenxa yeli nqaku, siza kuvavanya "amandla okomoya" ngokujonga ubudlelwane bezothando.

Yiyo loo nto, ukwahluka ngokwasemphefumlweni kubudlelwane yinkqubo apho unqamula khona iqabane lakho lothando kwinqanaba leemvakalelo. Ngokwesiqhelo, oku kwenziwa njengesenzo sokuzikhusela, ngakumbi xa uqala ukuqaphela ukuhla okukhoyo kubudlelwane (kubudlelwane obuninzi).

Kwimeko apho ubuzibuza ukuba ingaba le yinto, iMedicineNet ixoxa ukuba ukuphathwa gadalala kwamaqabane ngamaqabane yingxaki ebalulekileyo yezempilo yoluntu echaphazele ngaphezulu kwabasetyhini abazizigidi ezi-2 kunye namadoda angama-800,00, ebangela ukungabi namakhaya, iibhiliyoni zeedola kwiindleko zonyango, kwaye ukufa kwiimeko ezimbi kakhulu.

Kutheni le nto ukuzimela ngokweemvakalelo kubalulekile?

Ukufunda indlela yokuzahlula kumntu kunokuba ngumsebenzi onzima. Nangona kunjalo, imivuzo ifikelela kude kuba xa isetyenziswe kakuhle, esi sakhono sinokukunceda ukhusele intliziyo / ukuthanda kwakho kwaye sinokukunceda uhambe kude nobudlelwane obunetyhefu ngaphambi kokuba izinto ziye emazantsi.


Ukongeza, ukuqonda ukwahlulwa ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane kukunceda wazi ngokuchanekileyo ukuba injani.

Xa uxhotyiswe ngolwazi, unokuqonda ukuba yintoni ekufuneka uyijongile malunga nolwalamano lwethu neqabane lakho.

Ngale ndlela, unokuxela xa unxibelelwano kufanelekile ukulwelwa kwaye kufuneka usike ilahleko ngokulula.

Okokugqibela, ukuhlala ubudlelane obunetyhefu kunye neqabane elingakubeki phambili kuwe, rhoqo kunoko, kunokubangela ukwenzakala ngokweemvakalelo nangokwengqondo.

Uphando lwenziwe kwaye lwabhalwa liZiko leLizwe le-Biotechnology Information lixela ukuba malunga ne-70% yabantu abaye bahlala kubudlelwane obunetyhefu ixesha elide baphuma benemiceli mngeni enzima yezempilo yengqondo njengoxinzelelo (39%) kunye ne-PTSD (31%).

Ngala manqaku aphume endleleni, makhe sijonge ngokukhawuleza ukuba kutheni kufuneka uzinciphise ngokwasemoyeni kumntu omthandayo nje ukuba kuvela isidingo.

Izizathu ezi-4 zokuba kutheni kufuneka uzinqande kwiqabane lakho lothando ngokweemvakalelo

Ukwazi indlela yokuzibandakanya ngokwasemoyeni kumntu omthandayo xa kukho imfuneko yoko ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi.

Nazi izizathu ezi-4 eziphambili zoku.

1. Ungangabinako ukuzithanda ngokwenyani (kwakhona) de ube ubalekile kolo lwalamano lutyhefu

Enye yezinto ezenzekayo xa usebudlelwaneni obunetyhefu kukuba umsindo, ubukrakra, ingqumbo, kunye nezinye iimvakalelo ezingalunganga oziva ngazo (ngaxa lithile) zinokuqala ukuphazamisa umbono wakho wokugweba / ukuzithemba.

Ukuba awuthathi manyathelo athile okuphuma kubudlelwane ngesiqwenga esinye, ungaqala ukuzicaphukisa kwaye ujike umsindo wakho ungene ngaphakathi.

Elinye lamanyathelo abalulekileyo ekuphiliseni kukususwa ngokweemvakalelo kwiqabane lakho eliyityhefu. Ukwenza oku kuya kuthatha amandla kubo, kwaye oku kuya kukunceda ukuba uqale uhambo lwakho lokuzithanda kunye nokuzithemba okuphuculweyo.

2.Ukuzikhethela ngokweemvakalelo kuya kukufundisa indlela yokuzimela

Xa uqikelele indlela yokuqhawula kumntu omthandayo (kwaye wenza oku ngempumelelo), awuyi kuba nenye indlela ngaphandle kokufunda ukuzimela.

Ngeli xesha, uya kuzenzela izigqibo, uthathe amanyathelo / amanyathelo okukhula, kwaye uzifumanele ngakumbi ophethe umkhondo wobomi bakho.

Ngale nto, utyekelo lokuxhomekeka ngokungekho mpilweni kulwalamano luyasuswa.

3.Ukhusela impilo yakho yengqondo

Ukusuka konke esixoxe ngako ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, oku kufanele ukuba kubonakale okwangoku.

Xa usebudlelwaneni nomntu onetyhefu, olawulayo, kwaye ngubani okuhlukumeza ngokwasemzimbeni / ngokwasemzimbeni / ngokwasemphefumlweni, ukunqamka kolo lwalamano kuba yeyona nto iphambili, ngakumbi impilo yakho esempilweni.

Ukuhlala ujikeleze kubo xa kubonakala ukuba abenzi nzame zokuphucula intando, rhoqo kunoko, kuya kubangela ukwenzakala okungathethekiyo-emphefumlweni nasengqondweni.

4.Ukuzibandakanya ngokweemvakalelo kumntu omthandayo kuyanceda ukuba ube kulo mzuzu kwaye uthathe izigqibo ezingcono kwikamva lakho

Esinye sezizathu zokuba abantu abaninzi bakufumanise kunzima ukuqhubekeka ukusuka kubudlelwane xa kubonakala ukuba ubudlelwane abuhambeli ndawo kungenxa yokuba banokubanjiswa yimincili 'yento ebinokuba yiyo.'

Ngaphantsi kwezi meko, ungabona ubudlelwane ukuba buyintoni ngokwenene. Ke kwakhona, iimvakalelo zokuvalelwa zikuvumela ukuba ubone iqabane lakho ngokukhanya okwahlukileyo, kuba ngenene bangobani, kwaye ayinguye umntu uthando lwakho olubenzileyo (kwiliso lengqondo yakho).

Ngale ndawo ikhoyo, unokwenza izigqibo ezicacileyo malunga nokuba uye phi.

Xa uwenzile onke la manyathelo kwaye ekugqibeleni ukulungele, nantsi indlela yokuzihlangula kumntu omthandayo.

Iindlela ezili-15 zokuzikhusela ngokweemvakalelo emntwini

Ukuba ufuna ukuyeka ukuncamathela komnye umntu (iqabane lakho kule meko), nanga amanyathelo ali-15 ekufuneka uwalandele.

1.Vavanya ubudlelwane bakho nabo ukuza kuthi ga ngoku

Ngoku ukuba injongo yakho kukuba uzahlukane ngokweemvakalelo nomntu omthandayo, into yokuqala ekufuneka uyenzile kukuthatha ixesha lokuvavanya ubudlelwane bakho nabo ukuza kuthi ga ngoku.

Xa usenza eli lungelo, uya kukhanyiselwa kwizinto ezininzi, eziza kunceda ukuqinisa isigqibo sakho sokubeka umgama phakathi kwabo kunye nawe.

2.Buza yonke imibuzo ebalulekileyo

Kuya kufuneka uliphumeze eli nyathelo ngexesha lokuzichaza kolu hambo. Ngelixa uvavanya ubudlelwane bakho nabo, jonga ngokubukhali izinto kwaye unqume ngokuchanekileyo ukuba ubudlelwane (okanye ngenye indlela) ubudlelwane buqhubekile njani ngoku.

Eminye yemibuzo ekufuneka uyiphendulile ibandakanya ukumisela ukuba ingaba iqabane lakho likubeke phambili ngokungathi ububeke phambili na. Ngaba benze ulungelelwaniso kwiindawo ezithile kulwalamano lwakho ukuze luqhubeke lukhula (okanye nguwe wedwa owenza konke ukugcuma)?

Ukuba, emva kwale seshoni, ufumanisa ukuba ubudlelwane buye kwicala elinye, unokufuna ukuqaphela ukuhamba ngokukhawuleza.

3.Qinisekisa ukuba izinto ozilindeleyo kwiqabane lakho zisengqiqweni

Kuya kufuneka ubeke ecaleni ezinye zezikhetho zakho kunye neenkolelo osele uzifumene ukuze wenze oku ngempumelelo.

Zibeke ezihlangwini zabo okwemizuzu embalwa kwaye uphendule umbuzo ofanelekileyo; "Ukuba ibinguwe obesezimbadweni zabo, unganakho ukufeza le nto ulindele ukuba bayenze?"

Ukuba impendulo yakho enyanisekileyo ngu-'hayi, 'unokufuna ukuphinda uyicingisise inkcazo yakho' yokungacingeli / ukuzingca. ' Kwelinye icala, ukuba impendulo yakho ngu-'ewe, 'ukwindlela elungileyo.

4.Chaza iimfuno zakho zeemvakalelo kwaye uzibophelele ekoneliseni wena

Zeziphi izinto ezikwenza wonwabe? Abo ulindele ukuba iqabane lakho likwenzele lona? Kulapho kuya kufuneka wenze uluhlu lwazo kwaye uzibophelele ekuzaneliseni wedwa, kangangoko unakho.

Olona loncedo lokwenza oku kukuba esi sigqibo sithatha amandla okwenza ukuba wonwabe / ube lusizi ezandleni zeqabane lakho kwaye usibuyisele kuwe.

Le yindlela yokuvumela umntu ukuba ahambe ngokweemvakalelo!

Zama kwakhona: Zithini Izidingo Zam Zemvakalelo?

5.Yenza isicwangciso sokuphuma

Ingaba uzimisele ukuqala njani ukudlula kubo? Ngaba ungathanda ukujoyina iqela loluntu, iklabhu, okanye umbutho wabantu abathanda izinto ezifanayo? Ngaba ungathanda ukufunda isakhono esitsha okanye into oyithandayo? Okwangoku, ukwenza inkqubo yenkxaso kubalulekile.

Injongo yakho kweli nqanaba kufuneka ibe kukuzigcwalisa ngezinto ozivelisayo ozithandayo ukuze kungafuneki ukuba uhlale phantsi uzilinde.

Ngaba nceda unike ingqalelo ukuze uqiniseke ukuba isicwangciso sakho sokuphuma asibabandakanyi kuso? Kwangelo xesha, qala ukwenza abahlobo abatsha kwakhona.

Ufuna ukuzimela geqe kubo. Akufanelekanga ukuba babe yinxalenye yemisebenzi oyithandayo kunye nexesha lokuzonwabisa okwangoku.

Jonga kwakhona: Iindlela ezi-5 eziqinisekisiweyo zokuchaphazela ngokwasemphefumlweni

6.Funa uncedo lweengcali

Ukuba ucinga kufanelekile, unokufuna ukufumana uncedo lweengcali.

Kuxhomekeke kubume bobudlelwane ozama ukuphuma kubo, ingcali inokukunceda ngeeseshoni ezisukela kwiiseshoni zokuvuselela impilo, okanye banokukufundisa ngakumbi malunga neqela kunye nendlela yokwenza nkulu inkqubo.

Ukuba uyakholelwa ukuba ufuna ukubanjwa ngesandla njengoko ufunda indlela yokuzahlula kumntu omthandayo, ukufumana uncedo lweengcali kuza kuluncedo.

7.Ziqhelise ukwenza ingqondo

Ngamanye amaxesha, ukutyhala kwengqondo okudingayo kusisikhumbuzo nje sendlela oyoyikeka ngayo kunye nendlela olufanelwe ngayo lonke luthando kunye nokuqwalaselwa liqabane lakho.

Ukuqiqa kukunceda ukuba ube kulo mzuzu kwaye uqiniseke ukuba uhlala uhambelana nesiqu sakho sangaphakathi.

Ukucamngca okukhokelwayo, ukushicilelwa, kunye neeseshoni zokuqinisekisa kuya kukunceda ukuba uzazi ngakumbi (kunye nexabiso lempilo yakho yengqondo) kwaye ziya kukunceda uzixabise ngcono.

Xa zonke ezi zinto zikhona, kuba lula ukuyeka ukuncamathela emntwini ongakuphathanga ngokungathi ubalulekile.

8.Vumela ukulindela kwakho okuphezulu

Okwangoku, wenze inkqubela phambili kuhambo lwakho lokuziqhelanisa nolwalamano ngokweemvakalelo kubudlelwane obunetyhefu. Kwangelo xesha, ngoku uyazi ngcono kunokuba ubeke amandla amaninzi ezandleni zeqabane lakho.

Luluphi ulindelo oluphezulu osele unalo kubo ngaphambili ngoku? Eli lixesha elifanelekileyo lokwenza uluhlu lwazo zonke kwaye uziyeke.

Okwangoku, kucacile ukuba ubudlelwane busecala elinye kwaye abakulungelanga. Into yokugqibela ofuna ukuyenza kukubeka ithemba elininzi kubo.

Ukwenza olu tshintsho lungabi buhlungu, phuma ngokuzithemba kumgibe wokulindela.

9.Chaza imida emitsha yokuqhubela phambili

Yonke into oyenzileyo ukuza kuthi ga ngoku inokuba yinkcitho ukuba awuthathi ixesha lokubeka imida ecacileyo kunye nemitsha.

Ngokubhekisele kunxibelelwano lwakho nabo, zeziphi izinto obungenakuphinda ujike kuzo ungaboni? Ngaba zikho iimeko olindele ukuba nazo zenze umzamo nazo? Chaza ngokucacileyo ezi paramitha.

Xa ukwenzile oku, kuya kufuneka ubene ntliziyo-nentliziyo kunye nabo, ngakumbi ukuba awufuni ukuqhawula ubudlelwane ngequbuliso. Unxibelelwano, kweli nqanaba, lubalulekile.

10.Beka kumgama othile

Njengoko usebenza ekufundeni indlela yokuqhawula kumntu oziva naye (kwaye uziqhelanise nolwalamano ngokweemvakalelo), ukubeka umgama othile kuyimfuneko.

Oku kubaluleke ngakumbi ukuba ubudlelwane abukho mtsha kwisibini ngasinye kwaye ukuba uneemvakalelo ezinzulu ngabo.

Ukubeka kumgama othile kunokubandakanya ukuphuma endlwini (ukuba nihlala kunye).

Ukuya esixekweni esahlukileyo nangasiphi na isizathu, ukutshintsha izitshixo kwiingcango zakho kwaye ubacele ukuba bahambe, okanye bathathe nje iindlela zokuzonwabisa / imikhwa emitsha eqinisekisa ukuba awuchithi lonke ixesha lokuvuka nokuqonda kwabo.

Qaphela, nangona kunjalo, ukuba ixesha lokuqala ukwenza oku unokuziva ungalunganga (ngakumbi ukuba sele uqhele ubuhlobo kunye nokuchitha ixesha kunye nabo). Usenokuziva ngathi umntu othile ukrazula i-band-aid kuwe. Kodwa konke kokona kulungileyo.

Uyayikhumbula intetho ethi, "ngaphandle kwamehlo, ngaphandle kwengqondo," akunjalo?

11.Bavimbe kwimidiya yoluntu okanye uthathe ikhefu ukuba kukho imfuneko yoko

Phantse wonke umntu uneakhawunti ye-Instagram kwezi ntsuku. Ukuba esi sisikhombisi, imithombo yeendaba zentlalo inokusebenza njengoxinzelelo kweli nqanaba, ngakumbi ukuba wenze itoni yenkumbulo kunye nabo; iinkumbulo owabelane ngazo noqhakamshelwano / nabahlobo bakho kwimidiya yoluntu.

Awudingi izinto ezinje ngezi. Ziyakwenza kuphela ukuba uzive ungonwabanga kwaye usirhoxise isigqibo sakho sokuzikhulula kumntu omthandayo (iqabane lakho).

12.Zivumele ukuba ube sentlungwini

Ngawo onke amanqaku esithethe ngawo apha ngasentla, ucinga ukuba awufanelanga uve nantoni na njengoko ubeka lo mgama phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho. Akusoloko kulula oku.

Ngamanye amaxesha, uyakuziva ungalunganga kwaye uzifumane ubuza ukuba wenze into elungileyo okanye hayi. Okwangoku kulungile ukuziva usizi.

Vumela ukuba uzive. Bubungqina bokuba ungamthanda umntu kwakhona xa udibana nomntu olungileyo. Nangona kunjalo, qiniseka ukuba usizi olukuvayo alukuthinteli ekuthatheni amanyathelo ekufuneka uwenzile ukuze ugqibe.

13.Zityand 'igila kumntu omthandayo

Kunokuba nzima, kwaye ngeli xesha, kungafuneka uvule umntu omthembileyo. Isenokuba ngumhlobo, umntakwenu, umzali, okanye ilungu losapho.

Lumka uthethe nabani, kwaye uqiniseke ukuba bobabini banengqondo kwaye ngekhe bagwebe isigqibo sakho sokuzikhusela.

Uhambo lwakho lokufunda indlela yokuzahlula kumntu omthandayo sele luxinzelelo ngokwaneleyo. Awudingi mntu ugweba ngakumbi endaweni, nangona ukuthetha nomntu kunokuba lunyango.

14. Nika ixesha

Iimvakalelo ozenzele iqabane lakho ngekhe zibotshelelwe kwibhola enkulu yekhephu kwaye zibaleke kubushushu bemini emaqanda. Kungathatha ixesha ngaphambi kokuba uthi ungaphezulu kwayo.

Thatha ixesha elininzi kangangoko ufuna, kwaye ungazami ukuzithelekisa nomnye umntu. Abantu abahlukeneyo banokuphendula ngokuzinqanda kubudlelwane ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo.

Yiyo loo nto, nceda ungazibethi xa kubonakala ngathi eyakho ithatha ixesha elingakumbi ukuyigqiba.

15.Zibophelele ukuba ungaze ubuye umva

Kungekudala, iqabane osele uzahlule kulo linokuza lifowune.

Basenokukufumana ngandlela thile kumajelo asekuhlaleni, bashiye into engacacanga apha naphaya, ‘Ndingathanda ukufumana olu hlobo lomyalezo. Awufuni kuwa kuloo maqhinga.

Kuxhomekeka ekubeni ngoobani, iqabane lakho langaphambili linokuza licocekile kwaye likuxelele ukuba bangathanda ukubuyela kunye nawe. Banokude baqale ukukubonisa ukuba batshintshe kangakanani.

Ngelixa zisenokutshintsha, awufuni ukubeka ukubheja kuloo nto. Kungcono uhambe, ungaze ujonge ngasemva, kwaye ngoMatshi kwizinto ezingenamda kwikamva lakho.

Isiphelo

Uhambo lokufunda indlela yokuzibandakanya ngokweemvakalelo kumntu omthandayo kwaye ufike kwinqanaba lokuba uyeke ukuncamathela kubo lude, luyadinisa, kwaye ekugqibeleni lunomvuzo.

Landela amanyathelo esiwagubungele kweli nqaku kwaye uzinike ixesha.

Uya kuba ulungile ekugqibeleni ukuba ulandela konke esithethileyo ngako.