Umxholo
- 1. Ukuthandabuza kunokubangelwa njengempendulo yento engaqhelekanga.
- 2. Amathandabuzo anokubangelwa luxinzelelo nolindelo.
- 3. Amathandabuzo anokufihla uloyiko lwakho.
- 4. Amathandabuzo anokuvela kumava adlulileyo.
- 5. Ukungathandabuzeki okuqikelelweyo kwiqabane kunokuba kukungazithembi.
- Ukoyisa njani ukuthandabuza kubudlelwane
Ngenxa yokwanda kwamanani oqhawulo-mtshato kwihlabathi liphela, umntu makacinge ukuba akukho thando lwanaphakade okanye iqabane lomphefumlo ngaphandle kwakho. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba uyaphosisa kwaye kukho izizathu zokuba imitshato ingahlali.
'Amathandabuzo obudlelwane' sesinye sezizathu eziphambili zokuba umtshato okanye nabuphi na ubudlelwane, ngenxa yento leyo, buqale ukuqhekeka kwasekuqaleni.
Ukusuka ekuthandabuzeni iinjongo zokwenyani zeqabane lakho lokuba kunye nawe ukuya ekuthandabuzeni ukuba bakhe baxoka okanye baqhatha, imvakalelo yokuthandabuza ibulale ubudlelwane obuninzi kunokuba ibathathe bada baya kwinqanaba lomtshato.
Ukuba uziva ungaqinisekanga malunga nobudlelwane, apha kuxoxwa ngezizathu ezisibhozo ezahlukeneyo zokuthandabuza ubudlelwane. Ezi zinto zinokukunceda ekuqondeni ukuba ukuthandabuza kubudlelwane kuluncedo okanye kuyityhefu.
1. Ukuthandabuza kunokubangelwa njengempendulo yento engaqhelekanga.
Nje ukuba sizinikele kwaye sizive sihleli kubudlelwane, siqala ukuqonda amaqabane ethu ngokwemvelo. Siqikelela iimpendulo zabo, sazi iipateni zabo zokuziphatha, kwaye sibancede bakwazi ukutshintsha imo yabo.
Yonke le nto yenzeka kuba sibaqhela ubuntu babo nendlela abangumntu ngayo.
Nangona kunjalo, utshintsho oluncinci okanye enye into ngaphandle kwesiqhelo nayo iya kukufumana ubuze ngolwalamano lwakho.
Ungaqala ukukhanyisa malunga nokuba kutheni okanye kutheni imeko ethile ivele.
2. Amathandabuzo anokubangelwa luxinzelelo nolindelo.
Imicimbi yehlabathi isigcina sixakekile imini yonke, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha uxinzelelo esiluthwalayo lunokubangela ukuthandabuza kwimicimbi yethu yomtshato. Esi sizathu sokuba kufuneka sigcine ubomi bethu bobuchwephesha bohlukile kubucala bethu.
Uxinzelelo, ixhala kunye nolindelo lomsebenzi kunye neminye imisebenzi kunokukhokelela kukungaqondani okuphindaphindiweyo kunye nokuthandabuza ubudlelwane kunye neqabane lakho okanye iqabane.
Uya kuzifumanisa uyithandabuza ingqalelo yeqabane lakho kunye nenkathalo ngakuwe. Ingqondo esele idiniwe kwaye ixinezelekile iya kukuqinisekisa ukuba ucinge ukuba iqabane lakho alikhathali ngokwaneleyo ngawe, kwaye ayizukuchaneka.
3. Amathandabuzo anokufihla uloyiko lwakho.
Ngamanye amaxesha iqabane linokuba notyekelo lwemvelo lokuthandabuza kunye nokuthandabuza yonke into.
Esona sizathu sokuba namathandabuzo malunga nolwalamano lwakho inokuba bayazifihla izinto abazoyikayo kwaye babuze kumaqabane abo ukuba baqiniseke ukuba yonke into ihamba kakuhle.
Uloyiko lweqabane lakho lungaqala ekuphulukaneni nawe, ungafumani uthando lokwenyani, Imiba yokuthemba, okanye mhlawumbi kulula njengoloyiko lokungazazi izinto.
Isisombululo sokulwa imeko enjalo kunye nokususa amathandabuzo anxulunyaniswa nawo ngaphambi kokuba abe yityhefu kukwazi ngokuchanekileyo ukuba luloyiko luni lweqabane lakho kwaye ulungiselele iimfuno zabo ngokufanelekileyo.
4. Amathandabuzo anokuvela kumava adlulileyo.
Nokuba uwubonile umtshato ophukileyo ebuntwaneni bakho okanye umntu okhulayo, amava abuhlungu anje anokubhala kubuntu bakho. Nokuba ubukhe wanobudlelwane obunetyhefu ngaphambili, emva koko Ezinye zeempawu zomlingane wakho zinokukrutha kuwe.
Ngamanye amaxesha siqala ukusebenza njengamaqabane ethu njengesixhobo sokukhusela ukuqonda ukuqonda kwabo ngcono kwaye sijongane nabo ngokufanelekileyo.
Ke ngoko, amathandabuzo akho anokuvela kumava anje apho ukujongana neemeko ezishiye impembelelo engapheliyo kwingqondo yakho kukwenza uthandabuze nolungileyo kubudlelwane bakho.
Ukufunda ukwamkela kunye nokuxabisa okuhle kunokunceda ekulweni loo mvakalelo wokuthandabuza kwaye uyenze ibe luncedo ngakumbi kunetyhefu.
5. Ukungathandabuzeki okuqikelelweyo kwiqabane kunokuba kukungazithembi.
Amaxesha amaninzi amaqabane athandabuza into enye kwezinye zabo ezibalulekileyo abazithandabuzayo. Iyakwazi ukusuka ekutyiseni ukungazithembi ekubuzeni imibuzo ukuzixabisa kwabo emehlweni eqabane labo.
Amathandabuzo obudlelane anje enza ukuba kube nzima kakhulu ukuhlala nomntu onjalo ekuqhubekeka ekutyhala, ekubeka ityala ngezinto ongazenzanga, kwaye unokulawula ubomi bakho ngokuthe ngqo.
Kwimeko enzima kakhulu, ubudlelwane obunjalo bungakhokelela ekuhlukumezeni, apho kufuneka uqale ubeke ukhuseleko lwakho kuqala.
Ukoyisa njani ukuthandabuza kubudlelwane
Ngoku ukuba siyazazi ezinye zezizathu ezibonisa ukungathandabuzeki kobudlelwane, oku kulandelayo kunikwa iingcebiso zokoyisa la manyala obudlelane obunetyhefu.
1. Amathandabuzo makwaziswe ngawo endaweni yokukhokelwa
Eyona ndlela yokunqoba naluphi na uhlobo lokuthandabuza kubudlelwane kukuthetha ngalo.
Nakuphi na ukuthandabuza, uloyiko, ukungaqondwa kakuhle, kunye nokungazithembi okunokuchazwa kuya kuthi gingxi njengangaphambili. Ukuba kunzima ukujongana neqabane lakho ngokubhekisele kwinto ekwenza ungakhululeki, unokufuna uncedo lwesincoko ukubhala phantsi iimvakalelo zakho kwaye wenze iqabane lakho lifunde ukubona ukuba liphendula njani.
Iqabane elizimisele ukusebenza liya kuhlala lihlonipha iimvakalelo zakho.
2. Ukungathandabuzeki kufuneka kwahlulwe kwimo yemvelo kunye neemvakalelo zesisu
Ngamanye amaxesha siyabhida ubudlelwane bethu bokungathandabuzeki njengeemvakalelo zangaphakathi okanye zesisu. Ukuqonda umohluko kubalulekile kuba apho ulusu lwakho lunokuba luncedo, ukuthandabuza akunjalo.
Umxholo oqhotyoshelwe kwintandabuzo awunabunyani apho uqinisekile ukuba kukho into engalunganga, kanti, ngeemvakalelo zesisu, uhlala uthelekelela izinto ezifanayo.
3. Musa ukuvumela amathandabuzo ukuba onakalise ulwalamano lwenu.
Amathandabuzo ngohlobo lokuthandabuza kwindawo yokusebenza kunokuba sempilweni kodwa kungabikho kubomi bakho babucala. Amathandabuzo obudlelwane anokuphazamisa ubuhlobo bakho.
Ukubuza, ukuthandabuza, ukuveza uloyiko kunye nokungaqiniseki kwiqabane lakho zonke iimpawu zomntu ogcina imeko yetyhefu kwaye engazange afunde ukuhlala ngaphandle kwayo.
Ke, ungayeka njani ukuthandabuza ubudlelwane?
Kungcono ziqhelise ukuba nethemba, funa unyango, okanye ucamngce ukutshintsha ingqondo yakho engalunganga kwaye uzikhulule ekugcineni iingcinga ezimbi ngaphambi kokuba ubulale ubudlelwane bakho nomntu omthandayo.
Jonga kwakhona:
Okukwintsusa
Lilonke, sonke isibini kufuneka sakhe ukuqonda okugcina ukungathandabuzeki kobudlelwane kuye.
Kwaye nokuba bazifumana bethandabuza nayiphi na into enxulumene nobudlelwane babo, kuya kufuneka bathethe ngokulula ngayo ukuze bayigqibe ngaphandle kokuyiyeka ihlale kwaye ibonakalise kwinto enkulu.
Ngokuqinisekileyo akukho kuthandabuza xa usithi ubudlelwane bokuthandabuza bunetyhefu kumtshato ophilileyo okanye nabuphi na obunye ubudlelwane.