Umxholo
Nokuba nithandana kangakanani neqabane lakho, ukungavisisani malunga nokukhulisa abantwana kunokubangela ukuba kubekho ukungavisisani. Kodwa iiyantlukwano zakho akufuneki zikukhathaze kwaye ziphele ngokuthi omnye wenu "anikezele."
Iinjongo zakho zizonke ze ukuba ngumzali njengeqela kufuneka kukukhuthaze ukuqonda ukuba kutheni omnye wenu edibene ngakumbi nomnye wabantwana bakho, emva koko enze utshintsho olusebenzayo.
Nayi eminye imibuzo ephambili, iikhonsepthi, kunye neengcebiso ezivavanyiweyo zokuba ngumzali njengeqela.
1. Ungadibana njani nomntwana wakho
Akuqhelekanga ukuba omnye umzali athi "ngokweemvakalelo" omnye wabantwana ngendlela esempilweni. Umzekelo, amadoda athambekele ekuzimanyeni ngokulula ngakumbi namakhwenkwe, noomama ukuzimanya ngokulula namantombazana. Kodwa hayi lonke ixesha!
Nangona kunjalo, kweminye imitshato, apho abantwana baquka amakhwenkwe namantombazana, umyeni usenokuzimanya ngakumbi nentombi yakhe — okanye umama nonyana. Olu "tshintsho" lunokwenzeka xa besabelana ngezinto abanomdla kuzo okanye kwiitalente ezifanayo.
Umzekelo, kwesinye sezibini endakha ndacebisa ngaso, utata wayethanda ukwakha izinto ezinje ngeeshedi zezixhobo, iishelfu zekhabethe, iitafile, nayo yonke into enokwenziwa ngomthi.
Intombi endala nayo yayinezi zakhono kunye nomdla. Bachitha ixesha elininzi kunye, besenza izinto.
Umama waziva eshiywe ngaphandle, kwaye xa wayezama ukwenza izicwangciso kunye nentombi yakhe yokwenza izinto ezinje ngokuya ezivenkileni, intombi yayingafuni ukuya.
Izisombululo ezilungileyo zobuzali:
Enye yeyokuqala iingcebiso malunga nokuba ngumzali kukuba mncome umntwana wakho ngayo yonke into ayenzayo. Musa ukukhalaza ukuba akachithi xesha nawe.
Endaweni yoko, ukulungiselela isitayile sokubambisana njengomzali = "font-weight: 400;"> Xoxa nomntwana wakho ngazo naziphi na ezi ngcebiso zilandelayo:
- Buza umntwana wakho, "Yintoni enye into onomdla kuyo?"
- Xelela umntwana wakho ibali malunga nawe xa wawusengumntwana kwaye wafumanisa izinto ozithandayo-ongakuthandiyo-nezinto ozithandayo nongazithandiyo malunga nendlela abazali bakho abenza ngayo izinto ozikhethayo.
- Buza umntwana wakho ukuba angathanda ukuba uqonde okungakanani malunga nabo kunye nezinto abanomdla kuzo.
- Buza umntwana wakho ukuba yintoni angathandi ukuyenza kuwe.
- Buza umntwana wakho ukuba angathanda ukwenza ntoni ngawe.
Jonga kwakhona: Ungabancoma njani kwaye ubakhuthaze abantwana.
2. Ukulungelelanisa indlela oziphethe ngayo
Ukuziva usondele ebantwaneni bakho kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye isempilweni.
Kodwa ukuzimanyanisa kakhulu — okanye okuncinane — kunokubonisa ubudlelwane obunokuba yingozi phakathi kwakho nomntwana wakho — nawe neqabane lakho.
Nazi iimeko eziqhelekileyo ukuba ziqwalaselwe:
- Unokuba "uzibandakanya kakhulu" nomntwana ukuba uzama ukuguqula loo mntwana abe ngumntwana ofumana ukuvunywa ngabazali bakho okanye abo bakukhathalelayo. Ukuba uziva ngathi abantu abakukhulisileyo abakuthandi okanye abakuthandi ngenxa yento oyiyo, kunokwenzeka ukuba uya kuthi "ubeke onke amaqanda akho othando ebhaskithini" yalo mntwana. Ithemba kukuziva ekugqibeleni uthandwa ngummeli-ngaphandle kwesini somntwana wakho.
- Unokuba "ngumlingani ogqithisileyo" kunye nomntwana ukujika loo mntwana abe "ngumhlobo wakho osenyongweni." Ukuba uziva ngathi umtshato wakho awunaluthando phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho, unokuziva uhendeka ukuba uguqule omnye wabantwana bakho abe ngumhlobo wakho osenyongweni, umhlobo, iqabane, nothando obambeleyo.
- Unokuba "ungaphantsi komtshato" nomntwana ukuba wena nomntwana wahluke kakhulu komnye nomnye — ngakumbi ukuba lo mntwana akafanelanga "usapho" lwakho okanye usapho olukukhulisileyo.
Akukho nanye kwezi meko elungele ukuba ngumzali njengeqela. Nazi ezinye kuvavanyo ezingama-400;
Izisombululo ze ukuba ngumzali njengeqela:
- Ukuba ngumzali njengeqela, yiba nesibindi ngokwasemoyeni ukuze wenze uphando ngokwasemoyeni malunga nobuntwana bakho, ngakumbi indlela yokuziphatha kwabazali bakho kunye nabantu abakukhathalelayo. Lungisa iimvakalelo onokuthi ungabinakho ukuzamkela.
- Funa iingcebiso ukuba wena kunye / okanye iqabane lakho aninakho ukujongana nale micimbi okanye niyazi indlela yokujongana nezi mvakalelo.
- Ukuba umtshato wakho awuyondawo yokuhlukumeza, xoxa ngale micimbi kunye neqabane lakho. Qiniseka ukuba uza neengcebiso ezinokubakho zokuba ngumzali njengeqela. Misela imigaqo esisiseko: Akukho kugxotha umbono, isisombululo, okanye ingxoxo ngaphandle kokubonelela ngenye indlela. Thethani ngobunye.
- Thatha ixesha lokwazi ngakumbi ngomntwana ongabonakali "elungile" kusapho lwakho. Thatha uhambo ubuze umntwana wakho ukuba yintoni ekufuneka uyazi ngaye. Mema lo mntwana ukuba "akufundise" ngezinto azithandayo nangazenzayo. Buza lo mntwana ukuba angathanda ukwenza ntoni ngawe, iqabane lakho, nedwa.
- Phuhlisa iindlela zokukhulula ubudlelwane kunye nabantwana obathandayo. Nciphisa ixesha okanye inani lemisebenzi oyenzayo nomntwana wakho omthandayo. Sukwenza lo msebenzi ngesiquphe. Ukhululeke.
- Umzekelo, ungachaza ukuba uyabathemba, ufuna ukuba babe bodwa, ukuba ngoku unolunye uxanduva emsebenzini okanye ekhaya. Kodwa ungaze ubashiye bekonwabisa.
- Khumbula ukuphuhlisa uqeqesho lokuzimela kubo bonke abantwana bakho. Abazali abalungileyo akufuneki baye kuyo yonke imidlalo yezemidlalo okanye basete amadinga notitshala ngamnye. Kububulumko ukuvumela abantwana bakho ukuba bakwazi ukuzincoma nokujongana nootitshala kunye nabanye ngokwabo.
- Gcina idayari okanye ijenali ukurekhoda iingcinga zakho, iimvakalelo kunye nezenzo zakho.
Unokwenza ubomi bakho, umtshato, kunye nokuba ngumzali njengeqela elityebileyo kwaye elumkileyo!