Umxholo
Kukho iindidi ngeendidi zokujonga xa uphendula lo mbuzo. Into yokuqala endikhuthaza abantu ukuba bayenze kukujonga imithetho yelizwe labo xa isiza kumaxesha okwahlukana ngokwasemthethweni.
Ithuba lexesha ekufuneka uhlukaniswe ngalo ukuze ufake ngokusemthethweni uqhawulo-mtshato, kwaye nokuba yintoni eyenza ukwahlula loo nto, iyahluka ukusuka kurhulumente ukuya kurhulumente. Ke ngoko, kulunge ukuba uthethe negqwetha okanye wenze olwakho uphando oluchaziweyo ngaphambili.
Ke ewe, kukho izinto zengqondo kunye neemvakalelo zalo mbuzo. Ndizibonile izibini ezahlulayo ixesha elincinci elifunekayo elichazwe ngurhulumente wazo kwaye ndikhe ndabona izibini zihlala zahlukene iminyaka eliqela, ngaphandle kwenjongo yokuqala inkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato.
1. Ngaba isigqibo soqhawulo-mtshato sicacile?
Kukho izixa ezikhulu zokuba kutheni abantu abatshatileyo bekhetha ukwahlukana kwaye, iziphumo ezahlukeneyo ezibangelwa kukwahlukana. Abanye abantu abatshatileyo bagqiba kwelokuba babuyele kunye kwaye bafumane ubudlelwane babo bomelele kunakuqala, ezinye izibini zifumanisa ukuba inkqubo yokwahlukana inyusa kuphela inani lempixano kubudlelwane, ukanti abanye banamaxesha okwahlukana njengawo wokuba ndindisholo, ukwala okanye ukothuka.
Rhoqo kunokuba kunjalo, abantu bafumana i-rollercoaster yeemvakalelo xa kufikwa kwinkqubo yokwahlukana kunye noqhawulo mtshato olulandelayo. Kungenxa yokuba iimvakalelo zabantu zisoloko zitshintsha rhoqo, akuqhelekanga ukuba umntu azive engalawuleki okanye engazithembi kwaphela. Ke ngoko, kwabanye kunokuba nzima kakhulu ukufikelela kwisigqibo sokugqibela.
Ngethuba nje uphakathi kwezikhokelo zomthetho ezichazwe ngurhulumente wakho, ungathatha ixesha elide njengoko ufuna. Abanye abathengi banika ingxelo yokuba le nkqubo ivakalelwa kukuba ithathe ixesha elide ngakumbi ukuba umntu ucace gca ukuba ufuna ukuqhawula umtshato.
Ndiyazi ukuba oku kuluvo oluqhelekileyo, kodwa ixesha elithathayo elinye okanye omabini amaqela afikelela kwisigqibo esiqinisekileyo sokuba uqhawulo-mtshato luya kuba sisiphumo sokwahlukana yeyona nto iphambili ekumiseleni ukuba ixesha lokwahlukana liya kuba lide kangakanani ngaphambi kokuba kuqalwe inkqubo yoqhawulo mtshato.
(Ndizibonile iinkqubo zoqhawulo-mtshato zikhutshwa ixesha elide kuba elinye iqabane liyala ukutyikitya amaphepha oqhawulo mtshato ngokomzekelo).
2. Ukufumana ukuba ulungiselelo luye lwakhathalelwa
Enye into edlala indima kubude benkqubo yokwahlukana ngaphambi kokuqala kwenkqubo yoqhawulo-mtshato "kukufumana onke amadada emgceni" ngasese. Kukho ezinye izinto zokuhamba ezinokuthi zongeze ixesha lokwahlukana ezinje ngemfuneko yokuba elinye iqabane lihlale kwisicwangciso sokhathalelo lwempilo, ukugula kwamalungu osapho, njl.
Nokuba lide kangakanani okanye lifutshane, ixesha lokwahlukana linokuba lixesha loxinzelelo kubantu abaninzi.
Kulapho ukucofa okanye ukudala iinkqubo ezintsha zenkxaso kwezentlalo kunokuba luncedo kakhulu ebantwini. Ukufikelela kwiinkqubo zenkxaso kwezentlalo kuchaphazela ngokuqinisekileyo impilo yethu yasemzimbeni nasengqondweni ngeendlela ezininzi. Esinye sezizathu kukubonelela ngesidambisi kuxinzelelo.
Nokuba yintoni, kuyanceda kwaye kubalulekile ukuhlonipha inkqubo. Inkqubo yoqhawulo mtshato ithatha ixesha.
Ukuphonononga iindlela zokuphucula izakhono zakho zokulwa nokukhusela amandla akho okwenza izigqibo, kunye nokuphanda ukomelela kwakho ngaphakathi ngeli xesha kunokuba luncedo kakhulu.
Nokuba kukufunda iincwadi, ukuzama ukwenza imisebenzi emitsha, ukwenza umthambo, ukucamngca, okanye ukudibana nabahlobo kunye nosapho, kufanelekile ukuba uphonononge kwaye uvavanye okwenzayo nokungakusebenzisi ngokweemvakalelo ngeli xesha. Kunokuba luncedo ukuqala ijenali ngokunjalo, ukuze ube nakho ukwenza unxibelelwano oluqinileyo ngakumbi phakathi kwezinto ezizezona ziluncedo kuwe ngeli xesha kwaye zeziphi izinto ezibonakala ngathi aziloncedo kangako.
Ngokubanzi, inkqubo yokuyahlulahlulwa iye kuqhawulo-mtshato inokuthatha ixesha elide njengoko kufuneka ukusuka kumbono wengqondo. Kwakhona, kuxhomekeke kwimeko umntu ahlala kuyo, kukho iiparameter zomthetho ezinyanzelisa ukuba umntu aqhawule umtshato ngokukhawuleza kangakanani emva kwenkqubo yokwahlukana, ebaluleke kakhulu ukuba ayigcine engqondweni.