Umxholo
- 1. Musa ukuzibandakanya kulwalamano lwabo
- 2. Musa ukubandakanyeka ekukhuliseni kwabo
- 3. Cela ukunceda
- 4. Musa ukubeka uxinzelelo kubo
UAdam noEva bamele isibini esitshatileyo esine-archetypal, isibini esifanelekileyo, esonwabileyo esidibene nobunzima kunye kwaye sahlala sitshatile ubomi babo bonke obude. Yayiyintoni imfihlelo yoku? Akukho namnye wayenomamazala.
Iziqhulo zasebukhweni zezona zisisiseko kwinkcubeko yaseMelika, nangona kungekho phando lucebisayo ukuba iinkedama zinemitshato engcono enabantu abaphilayo. Ngapha koko, abasebukhweni banokuba ngumthombo obalulekileyo wokuxhasa umtshato, ukuba badlala amakhadi abo ngokufanelekileyo.
Nazi iingcebiso ezimbalwa malunga nendlela yokukhupha oku:
1. Musa ukuzibandakanya kulwalamano lwabo
Nguwo umthetho # 1, bantu. Umtshato wabantwana bakho yabo umtshato, hayi eyakho umtshato. Awunamsebenzi ubandakanyekayo kwimicimbi yabo yomtshato. Ukuba bafumana iingxaki zobudlelwane, ukubonelela ngothando kunye nenkxaso kumntwana wakho / kumkhwenyana wakho kuyamangalisa; ukubandakanyeka kwiimpikiswano akunjalo. Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi ukuba khange ubuzwe ukuba ungenelele- kodwa kuyenzeka kaninzi xa usenza njalo are ucele ukungenelela. Ukungena embindini womtshato ngumsebenzi kumcebisi, hayi umzali.
Kuyinyani kwizizathu ezininzi:
- Akunakwenzeka ukuba ube nenjongo kwimeko apho umntwana wakho ehlupheka khona.
- Kuba nzima kakhulu ukuphuma embindini wakube ungene.
- Nokuba uphumile, uhlala usiva ukuba isisombululo besithini. Ke ukuba umkhwenyana wakho ebekhe waxhuzula, ungayiva lonto, kodwa awuva ukuba waxolisa walungisa izinto kamva. Oko kukushiya ukrakra kumyeni wentombi yakho, ngelixa inokuba sele ilibale ixesha elide, ngaphandle kwalomgaqo, ukuba uziva ngathi umntwana wakho usemngciphekweni ngokwasemzimbeni kwiqabane lakhe. Kwimeko enjalo kuyafuneka ukuba ubandakanyeke, nokuba ungacelwanga.
2. Musa ukubandakanyeka ekukhuliseni kwabo
Kunzima kakhulu kubazali ukuba babukele abantwana babo bekhulisa abantwana babo ngeendlela ezingamkelekanga okanye ezingavumelaniyo. Kwaye kulula kakhulu ukungena xa unika iingcebiso, ukulungisa okanye ukugxeka. Konke oku ukufezekisayo kubeka uxinzelelo kubudlelwane bakho nabantwana bakho abadala. Ukuba abantwana bakho bafuna ingcebiso yakho, baya kuyicela kuwe. Ukuba abayenzi, cinga ukuba abayifuni. Kwakhona, ukuba novelwano ngemizabalazo yabo (kwaye wonke umntu unemizabalazo yobuzali) kwamkelekile kwaye kunentsingiselo. Leyo yindlela elungileyo yokunceda umntwana kunye nomkhwenyana wakho ngoxinzelelo lokukhulisa abantwana. Ukubaxelela ukuba benza into engalunganga ayisiyiyo. (Kwakhona, ngaphandle koku ukuba woyika ukuba abazukulwana bakho basengozini yokwenyani.)
3. Cela ukunceda
Oku kuthetha ukuba unike umntwana wakho nomkhwenyana wakho uncedo ukuba kufuneka. Ukufumanisa ukuba yintoni leyo, babuze!
Ukuba bayasokola ukufumana imali, izipho zemali zinokubongwa; kodwa ukuba batyebile ngokwasezimalini, mhlawumbi ayizukunceda kakhulu. Uninzi lwabazali abanabantwana abancinci, ukubanika ixesha lokuphumla ngokugcina abantwana kunokuba yeyona nto ifunekayo. Kodwa umthetho wegolide yile: buza! Akukho nto ikhathaza onke amaqela achaphazelekayo njengokuzama kwakho ukutyhala "uncedo" kubo ngeendlela ezingafunekiyo kwaye bengavakalisi umbulelo ngemizamo yakho.
4. Musa ukubeka uxinzelelo kubo
Kungenzeka ukuba umntwana wakho kunye nomkhwenyana banesinye in-in-mthetho ukuba bazinyamekele-abazali beqabane lomntwana wakho. Abo basebukhweni bafuna ukuba nabantwana kunye nabazukulwana babo ngaphezulu kweeholide, bafuna ixesha nabazukulwana, babhiyozela nosuku lomama notata, njalo njalo. Ukuze ube ngumkhwenyana olungileyo, kuya kufuneka uyiqonde loo nto kwaye ubavumele ukuba bahlule ixesha phakathi kweeseti zabo zabazali, ngaphandle kwetyala. (Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba uqhankqalaza ngoku ukuba sele bechithe ixesha elininzi kunye enye iseti yabazala, inokuba lixesha lokuba ucinge malunga nokuba ubusona nawaphi na ama-no kweli phepha okanye kungenjalo wenza kungathandeki kubo ukuba babekufutshane nawe.) Ukuba unetyala okanye ubanyanzela ukuba bachithe ngaphezulu ixesha nawe, amathuba okuba uza kubafumana bachitha imali encinci.
Ubugcisa bokuba ngumkhwenyana ngeendlela ezininzi malunga nokuhlonipha izakhono zakho ze-laissez-faire. Njengoko isitsho ngoAdam noEva, “Ngenxa yoko indoda yomshiya uyise nonina, inamathele emfazini wayo.” Ukuyeka ukuhamba kunokuba yeyona nto inzima kumzali ukuba ayenze- kodwa yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokunceda umntwana wakho kunye neqabane lakhe baphumelele kunye emtshatweni wabo.